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October 7, 2020 6:00 am
Let's face it, our kids are in a battle.
They live in a world that's hostile, painful, difficult in their challenge weathered sex or drugs or alcohol or peer pressure there in the battle that they got a win. Here's the question how does a mom or dad help your kids that's today on the welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with shipping from Living on the Edge features the Bible to shipping group on this international discipleship program during the middle of chip series for effective parenting in a defective world today. Chips going to give you the first three, five, still to help your kids bring down the giant statements and, ultimately, when life's biggest you haven't already. I hope you will take advantage of message notes. This teaching is so packed will help you catch all the details jump online to LivingontheEdge.org and then the broadcast or tapped filling notes on the outer strip with his message, how to prepare your child to live life's biggest battle. Such talk to kids, parents and grandparents may have one thing in common fear. I mean, think about what it's like to grow up today and just from the mouth of kids saying and I'm really afraid I might make some really bad decisions or get involved in a relationship that's going to bring destruction later or can I love the one perspective. I'm really afraid that all live in a way is really not following Christ at all and I won't even know it. That's a pretty perceptive way to look at life. Your kids are in a battle.
I think it's the hardest time that I'm aware of, at least in recent history to raise kids and want to talk about today is how you as a parent or grandparent help your kids when life's biggest battles. I want you to open your notes if you will.
And as you do. This is a message that is not so much.
Here's three or four little practices.
I remember reading a passage many, many years ago where God used a teenager to turn the entire country around.
I mean there is a lot of smart people and powerful people, but they were paralyzed by fear and there's a huge giant 9 feet tall and there was a teenager named David and he kind of watched all the people that I be doing something to make it happen. It was like I don't get this because he was naïve enough to realize you know what, there may be a really big giant, but don't these people understand who God is. He's blaspheming the living God and human. What he did you know the story. He went down he got five smooth stones any put in the sling and he just he said man taken him on not my power, but in God's God used a teenager to slay the giant and what I want you to know is that if you can live your life as a parent or grandparent not so much focused on fear and protection but equipping how do you equip your son or daughter to slay the Giants in the world. God has been doing this for long time. Daniel was a teenager when he got into the most countercultural, counter Christian anti-God environment, they change the world. The same was true of Mary, a little teenage girl when God wanted to change the world. He chooses a 15 maybe 16-year-old girl and believe that there was something in them as they trusted him to really make a difference. Here's the question what do they need most coming we think of a good education, a good home when I get so old that they need this. Any that I want to share with you that if I can only give my kids five things five smooth stones to put in the pouch of their life to slay the giant sign of the going to face these would be them.
In fact, all my kids are grown and I would say this is what I want them to get because of these fine things become their lens, their worldview and their core values. I will tell you what, I don't care what happens in the world. They will do great.
Are you ready stone number one. Teach them to suffer well. The myth of the world is no one should ever suffer at any time and the myth of parenting is how do I protect my little boy or little girl from ever going through difficult times yet understand they're going to go through difficult times what you want to do is teach them to suffer well let me give you a theology of suffering biblical overview number one life is hard, but God is good that I need to learn that early on number two.
Life is unjust.
It's not fair, but God is sovereign. He's in control. The Old Testament roots is the life of Joseph. If you're not familiar with it. This is one from the early storybooks to when they get older to reading the pondering they need to grow up with all Joseph.
He was the 17-year-old brothers betrayed him and they put him in a pit boy, that's not fair. Not only put in a pit and then he got sold became a slave. That's not fair that he got falsely accused of raping the skies life that's not fair that he got stuck in prison. Any help.
These two guys. And they promise that help them and they didn't and that's not fair.
All through those 13 chapters, the Lord was with Joseph.
The Lord was with Joseph. The Lord with this Joseph and Joseph had been given a dream and a picture what God wanted to do and he didn't think that it was unusual to go through difficult, painful times. He learned something in each one God to take the difficulty that your kids go through the unfairness. The pain, the kid gets to play that's not as good. The one who doesn't study and does better grades the people to get into school when they practice more and did better the breakup that they're going to go through the first time a boy or girl says I want to be with you anymore. They're going to go through difficult, painful times what you want to do is teach them to suffer well and what you learn from the life of Joseph. God is in control and he orchestrates things he works all things together for the good to them that love him and so yes there was the pit and yes there was the prison. But God did all that. So Joseph became the second most powerful person in the world and he ended up in the palace.
He ended up second to Pharaoh and it was that role that save the entire nation of Israel, and so the end of his life. All of his brothers. All of the sisters. Everyone is saved in the end up there and then his brothers were little squarely. That's not a biblical term but they were little squarely and that even after the father dies the brothers are thinking well you know Joseph is been really nice.
He he said he for gave us. But now that dad's gone. He's probably going to put it to us and Joseph turned his brothers at the very end of the book is one of my favorite verses. Chapter 50 verse 20 he looks at his brothers. I think it's excellent and I still don't get it do you. And he says you meant it for evil but God meant it for good to bring about this present result. I think he looked at all those families to preserve many people alive. The New Testament talk about an example Peter is writing during a time of intense persecution. People who love Jesus are getting dragged out of their home living, taking in the stadiums there being wrapped in animal clothing and thrown into Coliseum's there being used as human torches and being licked for the Emperor for his cocktail parties and being burned alive in life's not fair in life is hard. How could a good God let that happen. Peter would write under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit in first Peter two verses 21 to 23 to this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps he committed no sin, no deceit was found in his mouth when they hurled insults at him.
He didn't retaliate when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. Your kids are called to suffer but there called to suffer. Well, not blaming someone else not getting resentful not saying life isn't fair not getting consumed with themselves to suffer well into trust God the way Jesus did. Because what he'll do, he'll do something in their character and who use them anything to prepare them for things beyond their wildest dreams. If they don't bail out the process.
In fact, the application is help your child to grow through suffering. Let me give you two or three maybe practical ways to do that one as their growing up, ask them often what they concerned about what what what what's going on just making notes for yourself or what were they concerned about don't and I don't be quick when they're hurting so it's going to be okay.
It's can be all right. I'll go talk to the coach are all talk to teacher they're pulling you all stepping on think everything find out what's going on in their heart that means you gotta take some time and they usually don't share that kind of stuff when you say okay let's have a say parent meaningful conversation. They usually do when you discover hanging out. The second is when you find out what's going on with the really concerned about what bugs him go ahead and verbalize and and you know, rather than solve everything. To say that in some fair, does it, but it must make you feel terrible. Just affirm that it's okay to be in life and that this is a raw deal and then model something say what this isn't fair. Let's let's talk to God and just in your own language in your own heart.
Just share God this hurts. This is difficult.
We help my son help my daughter and model for them. Third thing that you can do not only ask him what's going on and pray with them when you're going through difficult times. I think sometimes parents had this like a good Christian parent, I never have problems. I have a good attitude all the time share share. When you get a raw deal where it's appropriate for me to sit around the table and say I can't believe that you know I got laid off.
This is this is so unfair. I was one of the early employees so and so didn't this process with them. Let them see you and then you go to Joseph's life and you open the Bible and say and let them see your emotions.
I don't like this isn't fair I trust you, God, you, you begin to lay a foundation for my one son is a musician and as he was growing up there was a young man in our church in Santa Cruz that was in it was a prodigy is an amazing drummer guitar player. He said all the piano looks like. This guitar strings, but there like this in three weeks later you play piano. Someone came in to the concert and had a little mandolin. He goes it looks kinda cool.
Three weeks later he was playing. It was unbelievable.
Wrote songs like this voice that was just like perfect pitch and he hung out my house. Those of you that had kids with bands like you know like the drums are in the garage than the pianos than the wires and is always people at your house all the time that you eat all your food and you think, well, you know, it's better than them being someplace else right and in John was super skinny super super skinny and we did know why I didn't know why because he ate so much my food and all the time and one day I found out why because his parents called and said were at Dominican Hospital rule like you to stop by John's got cancer two weeks later we found out it was very rapidly growing type of cancer two years later when he was emaciated and look like he been through a Nazi concentration camp to skin and bones. They put a hospital bed and in the lower part of his basement and our worship pastor with the guitar. His mom and dad's fiancé was over here. Jason and I were here in one of her other friend and we sang worship songs and we prayed because he had just a day maybe to live and he died and we walked out of there knowing that he had hours or maybe a day and he did die set in the car for my son and was dead quiet and he turned to me and said dad John's got more musical ability and his little finger than I have in my whole body. How could God let him die and me live and I will tell you, in those moments parents, you better have done your homework and taught your child to suffer well and I did have a little verse to sell at the okay Jason and Scott can work out somehow, someway son is a fallen world. Life is hard. God is good. I don't understand and I'm angry I'm hurt to all I know is that John's 25 years old and sometimes God's entire agenda can be fulfilled in 25 years sometimes is 58 years sometimes 95 years that this is all there is. This is painful in this hurts. We cried together in the car and I watch my son suffer through it well, and he didn't blame God.
He didn't turn away from God. He did get resentful. He didn't blame other people.
Some of the deepest things will happen in the character of your children will be in their suffering. Don't try and fix everything.
Help them understand it is a fallen world.
Life is going to be hard. Life is going to be unfair.
But Jesus is enough in the midst of it. Suffering is normal.
If you didn't get that is the major life message suffering is normal. The second smooth stone to put into their pouches teach them to work into the Lord you understand it. If you eliminate the time that you sleep the time that you brush your teeth the time that you need little bit of food. The time that you do basic necessities.
You and your children will spend somewhere between 60 to 80 of your waking hours working so that's can be a lot of their life right so don't you think you ought to teach them. So how do you think about work, a theology of work. Work is a calling, not a job.
The word vocation. We use what your vocation, the Latin meaning of vocation is a calling he doesn't calling people and to just you know like full-time ministry. He calls people to be software developers he calls people to be stay-at-home moms. He calls people to be construction workers. He calls people to be athletes you call people to be musicians.
There is a calling your son or your daughter has a DNA like no one else's. In almost 7 billion people that DNA makes them good at certain things. Not good at certain things gives them passions, directions, personality to you need to help them discover.
So what's God's call on their life's purpose for the life all work is sacred, not white-collar and blue-collar manual and had worked all work is sacred to God because he made all people to do all work in all work matters. It's holy. Third is our work is to flow from God's unique design and purpose for our lives. I mean, does it make sense that if there very analytical and they love mathematics and physics comes easy bit like being an engineer might be a really cool thing, or if there very relational and they love English and are great with words that maybe it's going to be talking with someone and doesn't make sense that if they haven't ever personality that might be a little bit more reserved in their deep thinker and there will be artistic, but maybe a sales job is really what they ought to do to God what you understand the tools that is put in the heart of your child is exactly the preparation because he wants to use them.
Their special theology work means that you work for an audience of one heart you don't work in pressure. Mom and dad, you don't work for the boss.
You don't work for the manager, you don't work so you can make X amount of dollars you work because you say my life is a living sacrifice, and when I come into a room like this. I just reminded of who God is.
When I get the first portion of my time. The first portion of my money. The first portion of my energy my dreams I'm saying God I want to live my life before you. And when I show up on a full-time Christian worker developing software or changing diapers or hitting the ball or catching the ball for coaching a team or writing blueprints for developing the cure for cancer. I I live for an audience of one. I made in the image of God. The old theologians would say doing life before the face of God. That's how you want your kids to learn to work the Old Testament roots are Genesis 215 and all II put that verse in there because work occurs and the assignment to work is before their sin. The myth of our day is that work is a necessary evil to make money so you can raise your standard of living. So get through you, God, work, get it done because life is really about Friday because Friday starts the weekend and the weekends are about me and fun and pleasure, and just what I want to do so work is like a pain in the rear that. I guess if you have to do it so here's the deal.
We have 70% of Americans surveyed don't like their job you want your kid that 67% maybe 70% of their waking hours you live in a world where I guess I gotta do this to make money in order to God says what a silly silly way to live. I want you to discern. This is what I made you to do and I want you to love it. What you discover not.
You aren't what you do, you should do what you are is a world of difference. Berkeley Heather graduation and of all people had Jimmy page electric guitar players must be one of the best ever, ever so me you never heard from him others. It brings back lots of memories easy, easy, and here's what he said to the graduates is a here's what I've learned I learned to do what I really love and when you do what you really love.
It's not like working.
But what really matters in life is doing what you really love, but do it in a way to serve other people. Not much or how some his song serve other people, but you go from there.
I may think that's what you want for your kids, so application is the New Testament, Colossians 323 but he said do your work heartily unto the Lord, do it before God. Do your work, not unto men, but into God where your kids realize what ever I do mean whether it's on the small kid making my bed with my parents. They clean out the garage. I'm doing my homework or whether I'm at college with them on a construction site you want to teach them a work ethic that they work hard they work well they do with a great attitude and when you do you you help them be successful in whatever they do, but more than that the learn that work is a gift from God. Help your child discover God's calling for his or her life so they can impact their world and beyond couple specific ways. It might help, especially when there when they're young start early or begin now and give them weekly chores give them a mean give them things to do and whether that's making their bed taking out the trash, unloading the dishwasher. You know, doing some stuff in the yard just if you have to make up chores but give your kids work to do and teach them how to do it with a good attitude.
The second thing is become a student of your child.
What is a good at design literally you want to just study your child. You know what is a good at how they process information.
What's the personality extrovert or introvert, are they good with their hands on the mechanically minded.
Do they have people skills that they tended like sports or the like, you want to be a student of your child and then you want to provide opportunities for them to develop and your goal isn't how they reflect on you all your kids don't need to go to college all you kids don't need have great SAT scores.
What you want to do is figure out what did God make them to do and how to why coach and cooperate with them to do what God made them to do because you know what the life of joy still have a life of impact and they won't be one of the 70% of people going. You know I did this my parents want to do this, I felt all this pressure and now make a lot of money doing it and that's really good I guess. Except now I can't do anything else because I've got a lifestyle that requires as much money. So now I'm sentenced to a life of doing what I'm not made to do and I don't really like to do it and fulfilling everyone's expectations. So I'm just going to my midlife crisis in the blue all this off message.
You were created to work you want your kids is that a different message then it's a necessary evil.
You were created to work stone number three. Teach them to manage their lives wisely. Keyword is manage. When you talk about a theology of stewardship unit. A steward is stored as a manager. The myth of our day is it, it's mine. I made it I got it all decide what to do with it.
God says no, no, you understand. Here's a theology of stewardship. God owns everything song 50 says the Lord is says the earth is mine says the Lord, and everything in it.
God has entrusted things, time, talent and treasure and then he appointed us and our children to manage them for him. I try to help my kids think about what you do with the time God gave you when you do the talent God gave you what you do with the money that God gave what you do with the brains God gave you when you do the educational opportunity God gave you it's a stewardship it's not yours to blow off or deciding them to do this or do that. God what you want me to do. God expects a positive return on his investments.
He's placed very special unique abilities in your kids for some of them he give them a lot of leadership.
For some it's brains. Others athletic artistic. For some it's money expects a positive return and he will hold them accountable and I believe he'll hold us accountable.
His parents did. Did you teach him to be managers or did out of the pressure of wanting them to be happy all the time you gave them everything and taught them to be little narcissist and then when the world doesn't go their way to get really mad and you can't figure out why they don't walk with God and don't care much about you because they think the world revolves around them and the word date early on right when there even small two-year-old that's mine.
That's mine, mine, and then they get older it's mine. Mine you want to break that early. It's God's how are you using it and completely change their perspective. The Old Testament roots are Genesis chapter 1 before sin entered the world, God says I created all that there is good good good good good good that I created you very good. Are you ready for this. Here's the earth be cocreated with me. I want you to manage it for me animals manager fish of the sea management the future manage the garden management. Use your creativity Explorer, build Christian should be the greatest environmentalists on the face of the earth. He said steward the earth steward. Your gifts steward money the application from Matthew chapter 25 is the parable of the talents that's that's one worth really going over with you kids. Jesus is talking about how the kingdom works and he says the king was going to go away for a long period of time and he gave two servants 15 talents one to talents 11, according to their ability. In other words, if this person had a lot of abilities and to give them more little bit less ability give them a little bit less and the way he evaluated them wasn't on the end result is what did you do with what I gave you two them double them and he said well done good and faithful servants enter the Georgia master, one of them squandered.
There is because they were afraid they buried it and they get a sharp sharp rebuke. You want your son or your daughter to realize God's given you some talents he's going to hold you responsible.
His heart is for you to have great joy with him in them, but you need to use them well.
Here's the application. Help your child become faithful in the little things faithful in the little things.
Now I'm going pretty fast in your writing pretty fast, and Luke 1610 says that he was faithful in a very little thing will be faithful also in much. And he was unrighteous in a very little thing will be unrighteous also in much. I would encourage you as parents that's a rural principal it's a financial passage in terms of the context but it's not just talk about finances. You want your kids to be faithful in little things how they clean their room you want to be them to be faithful and cut their words and their attitudes because if they're not faithful little things are not can be faithful and big things and not talk about over scrutiny and being legalistic but you really want help him to be faithful and the little thing in this context you what is its money. The reason Jesus talks so much about money is because it's the cleanest, clearest, most visible, tangible thing we can figure out how you're a steward or not and what he's saying is if you can't learn to manage money well I'm not can entrust your riches if God gives you X amount of money and you can even handle money, why in the world. What I in entrust spiritual things or or an important relationship or for a job with more responsibilities at the training wheels of stewardship are money. You can see that comes and it goes out to give an amount your accountable if you can't handle money. What Jesus teaches there is no way you can handle your life. Be right back with his application quickly though the message you just heard is from his series effective parenting in a defective world. Raising kids is a challenge. No doubt peers in the culture exert constant pressure on them and you in this series chip helps you see how God's principles for raising children still work today the series is packed with practical advice and gives you a larger vision for your child's future insensible help for what you're facing right now for limited time all the resources for effective parenting are discounted, including the book and the small group video study. Check out the details that LivingontheEdge.org Special offers on the app or give us a call at triple late. 333-6003. That's 888-333-6003 will chip during the series. You strongly encourage parents or grandparents to connect with at least one other person, so it got some support to keep going now to help with the skills your teaching. We got the small group video study, but we also have your effective parenting book. Could you talk for a minute about that I be glad to date. In fact, you know, I wrote my thesis at Dallas seminary. As a young father had the privilege of adopting these two little boys and what I knew was I had no idea how to be a parent and so this book really is about effective parenting in a defective world how to help your kids swim upstream and whether your kids are two or 20. It's a principal base book very, very biblical, but another was what's the goal what's the goal, is it to make your kids happy or is it cooperating with God. So you really learn how to make them holy. How do you discipline your kids in ways that are practical and not overbearing that where you really teach them to obey and you don't yell you don't scream. You don't have to sit for five times. There is very practical ways to really help parents learn to help their kids reach the potential that God has for them. You know so often. I think we missed the point in parenting because we had this fear that were going to mess up and so we parent out of fear instead of out of faith and the other thing is is I don't think we understand the way that God has designed our children in the way that he wants us to cooperate with what he's doing to develop them in the kind of character and in the coming gifts that he's given them to fulfill the purpose that he has for them and I would say that being an effective parent is first and foremost getting on your mind and your heart. What does God want to see happen to my child and how do I cooperate with that because what you then have is the favor of God and the power of God in the direction of God in and through your child's life.
And so I would just encourage you whether you're leading a group and want to have a better resource work with you happen to be a reader instead of the listener. What I like about books as I underline things and I can go back to them where it might even be something where you know summer there's a lot of you know times were people really thinking about. I want to be a good parent or I want to give something to one of my sons or daughters that would encourage them to raise their kids in a way that would really honor God and what I can tell you is, would bring great joy. Years later and so it's proven it's tested it's it's what God says about how to be a parent to love your child set boundaries and help them become all he wants him to become so what, that's a book I hope you get it great. Well we know it's made a difference for so many now is your opportunity to take advantage of the current disc out and get the book for yourself or someone you know effective parenting in a defective world, you'll find it LivingontheEdge.org when you tap special offers on the app or just give us a call at AAA 333-6003. Again that's AAA 333-6003, just before we close. I want to say thanks to those of you who are giving regularly to the ministry of Living on the Edge you're making a huge difference helping other Christians live like Christians of your enjoying the benefits of Living on the Edge, but aren't yet on the team would you do that today. You can set up a recurring donation by calling us at triple late. 333-6003. Tapping the donate button or visiting us online at http://livingontheedge.org. Your support is greatly appreciated. Until next time, this is Dave Drury saying thanks for listening. this Edition of Living on the Edge