Relational Intelligence - You Deserve to be Happy, Part 2

We've all heard, you deserve a break today, you deserve to be happy. Here's a question. Why are there so many unhappy is there possibly a different way to be happy pursuing that. Thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge shipping Living on the Edges of international discipleship ministry between the Bible teaching up to this program, we wrap up our series called Relational Intelligence is a great run. Messages brought little insight into building the skills of navigating relationships well versed in a way that honors God and second splicing in the process of you missed any of these messages along the way available on the chip and remap or Living on the Edge.just click the broadcasts chip and his son Ryan have teamed up on this one. So after Ryan's teaching chip will be here in studio some additional so let's get going. Enjoying Ryan Ingram for part two of his message.

You deserve to be happy, blessed or happy are the ones who do not walk, stand and sit.

I think many of us start out in life with great intentions right. Maybe you're just getting done with college and you have this vision and maybe you had a moment with God and men got. I want to give you my whole life.

I want to run passionately after you know I'm dating someone that I believe were better together and honor you in my relationships here when I get into the business world like no you made me to make an impact in my life and then simply start to get caught up or were just not really paying attention, maybe started out with good intentions but they were just walking along going. I never intended to walk this way but just where the problems go just began to walk and be carried and then I found that I was standing is lingering. I just found that I just sat down kinda gave up. This is just how life is fact. I don't know if there's any other way to live, says happy people don't get caught up there, happy people are the ones who say no I am not the center of the universe is not all about me now is not all there is, in fact, I was created for a grander larger purpose by God himself and so I'm going orient my life around. God knows what he says next.

He says blessed are those who do not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way the sinners take her sit in the company markers lots whose delights is in the law of the Lord and who meditates on his law day and night. He says happy people happy is the person who delights in God like you just to live in him and it makes sense. By the way is so logical it. If you believe there is a God who created you, who who is good and loves you. Then when you delight in your creator, you're going to be most fulfilled. It makes sense says he delights in his law meditates on his word day and night when my wife and I were dating, we dated long distance. I was in Chicago.

She was at Cal poly slow and then eventually she moved to Sweden for a year with crew to do a stent with them. I didn't have a cell phone in college and all that may shock some of you like how this archaic and so we had to make phone calls I buy prepaid phone cards and in a dial up in my dorm room and like go is a cord phone so I go out in the hallway and try to have a conversation and here's what was amazing is because we didn't have all those things and is awesome that we have now read write letters which send care packages I gotta tell you any time I went down to our post office and got a care package like my heart left is like this is insane.

This is amazing.

Are you kidding me open it up and there's a note from Jenny I just read it over and over again and just be like I was amazing. I still have a box from all the things that we sent each other you know over that year. Still precious to me.

God wrote you a note. I know we know this. We've heard this before, but just think in a God loves you and he's like Matt, I want the best life for you possibly says blessed are those who, in the same way that a young man is dating this young woman across the globe. You know, just like pores over a love note which you pour over God's word just coming on the light in your word like I went to get your word in my heart, know your heart like you really love me and you like.

Make yourself known to me and you want to know and be like sharing things with me and somebody get into your word would you just like pour over his word, that would be a people of his word.

Happy are the people who delight in God's word like you begin to go like okay as I'm getting in here because you're not telling me your for me my soul that were said delight in the law of the Lord, are you kidding me when has anybody ever delighted in the law of the Lord will read the songs all throughout here but like normal people like really everyday people. When my daughter was two years old.

She came running around the corner and of our house with scissors in her hands and the sharp and was facing this way so she's running so slight come in right pastor. I'm sharp and just like this only two euros running out your site flailing arms everywhere my stop and I was like I probably should've yelled probably regrout you know I grab the scissors and she cried because her mean dad took the scissors that she was playing and having so much fun with a way and guess what she cried and was met at mad at me all my kids because I did let them play in the street when their little kids see every time I had one of those moments with my kids. It wasn't because I was trying to keep them from anything or rain on the parade is because, as a good father. I love them and want to protect them and I want the very best for them.

Would you recognize at the heart of every command of God is and I love you even command anything if it's not for your good you not trying to withhold from you, keep you from something that is good to try to keep you from harm.

So you go. I'm going to delight in your law because your laws good is more my good and every command you've ever given his love you from your heavenly father that change the way you think about his law that are going like just holding out on me and your perfect heavenly father is wild about you, loves you and wants you to experience the very best life ever says there some things that I want to say and is for your good analytical decisions on your hand, I'm not gonna let you run in the street and you to be mad a little bit but I tell you what blessed happy the person who delights in the law of the Lord and meditates on it day and night not notice this, that person is like a tree planted by streams of water which yields its fruit in season and whose leaves do not wither, whether at what ever they do prosper that person is rooted, established not getting thrown by by the winds of the culture by the circumstances of our political environments. That person is rooted and established and stable to want that notice this fruit fruit comes in a particular season.

Do you see this is said, which yields its fruit in season, meaning there are seasons where is not fruitful and we know this, we look at nature. There's times where this fruit tree and its winter. See, there are times where you're experiencing new growth, maybe seasons of pruning or winter dormancy and what he's saying here and so powerful. He says that yields its fruit in season, and yet what ever they do prosper so you can prosper even when life is not fruitful in the moments see much of the way we determine success is by outward what is it look like what is the fruits and here's what he saying he saying fruit takes place in a certain season yet growth happens, year-round some of the greatest root growth takes place when there is no fruit on the tree in the winter season, God is doing root development on the outside it looks like nothing is happening but down below the surface.

Some of the most important areas are being developed for some jury in a root development season as you're learning to go deep with God you like.

While some of the outward circumstances don't look exactly the way I would like them is not fruitful. Your roots are going deep into him and his productive and prospering to the law of happiness says that there's actually only two paths in life right now. There's so many passed so many choices just to say there's one path that says I'm going to pursue in the light and God's other psalmist say the light in the Lord and he'll give you the desires of your heart like I'm just going to pursue after you and the other path is I'm going to pursue after my own thing every other path is just you being at the center of you and so Relational Intelligence when it comes to happiness, says this happiness is a byproduct of a well lived life not a destination in life see happiness when were talking about, especially in our modern term of, you know, the whole idea of a sense of pleasurable satisfaction. It's a byproduct it's a path to go down. Happiness is a wonderful traveling companion. It is not a destination or in go. In fact, CS Lewis would say it this way, you cannot get a second thing by putting them first. You can get a second thing only by putting first things first. For some what you'd coming to realize is the things that you been running after aren't bad things, but their second things because they'll never be the thing that makes you happy that Jesus would say it this way. Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, his way of life.

The blessed life of Psalm one.

That's his way of life and all these things will be added on to you. That wasn't just like a nice idea was in my juices, Kate, you know, take it or leave it say in your life you've been pursuing and running after things that you hope will make you happy and you made happiness and ultimate thing Mennonites, a byproduct by the way, is not a destination is a traveling companion. But when you seek me when you put your heart and soul and salmon to seek your ways in your heart. By the way, all these things will be added. You get the second things along the way. You just make me the delight of your heart. Okay well what I do with this is fantastic. But how do I go about doing that. Let me give you just a couple application points decisions this week to make application any relationships, whether it's a friendship. Maybe it's your dating or married or work relationships but in your relationships would you choose to be a giver not just a taker would you choose to be a giver not just a taker. Jesus would say it this way is more blessed to give than receive what fascinating was fascinating is science and psychology back it up. 2000 years later. Did you know that in the paradox of generosity research book.

Those Americans who give away money and more specifically does it give away at least 10% of their income are happier than those who do not as weird what Jesus said agrees with our best. You know research of our day. We might just want to start taking God at his word. I'm just saying, you're like, don't know why would you choose to be a giver.

See when happiness is your end goal. Other people are commodity that you take. You live with a scarcity mindset I'm not going to get mine and so I gotta make sure to get my know you have an abundance because of who you are in Christ you going to be a giver and by the way, when I give to be filled up in that moment Paul in Philippians and the whole theme of Philippians is choose joy is like the whole book is therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ any comfort from his love. If any common sharing in the spirit of any tenderness and compassion. That's a lot of things that you have in Christ, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and one in mind, the notices do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, do nothing about like how do I get mine. Rather, in humility value others above yourself, not looking to your own interests, but each of you to the interest of others in your relationships would you choose to be a giver with your time, your energy, resources, money not to be a doormat to be walked over some of you will wrestle on that side of it, but most of us. We want to get in were afraid to give any says no, no. Happy are those who choose to be a giver not just a taker.

Secondly, would you choose gratefulness instead of griping you know with neural plasticity, we can actually re-you know programmer mind a little bit.

Research says 10% of happiness comes from circumstances. 50% of our happiness comes from our temperament, or genetic and 40% has to do with how we live our lives.

So 10% is only circumstantial. According to the best research, 50% is part of your genetic temperament. Neural plasticity says you can rewire your brain for happiness 40% has to do with how we live our life. Gratefulness rewires your brain griping does as well. Philippians 4437 says rejoice, and by the way that the command rejoice in the Lord always in the good times and bad times. I'll say it again rejoice, let your gentleness be evident to all the Lord's near his presence is close. That's the reason you can rejoice. Do not be anxious about anything. Well, this area is so we are living in the most anxious driven world. How do I do that but in every situation, by prayer and petition leaning incident with Thanksgiving present your requests to God and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus you choose gratefulness instead of griping we become happy for what you have going on though I've I'll be happy when I have got I'm just going to begin to be happy for what I got.

I'm happy on not really happy but I'm grateful let's start there has to be a daily discipline. By the way advertisement in our day is built around you. Looking at what you do not have in creating the need that if you have it, then you'll be happy to create a deep dissonance in our soul with where were at.

And so we have to constantly going.

I'm grateful for. I'm thankful for part of my practice. In doing this, as I Journal and just the way I pray because I'm distractible and can't keep my thoughts clear so I write them down is just helpful for me in and when I start I know I begin with, you know good morning my heavenly father want to remind that he's my heavenly father. And then I start with just with thank you thank you God for because it re-orients my mind redirect my mind from the things that I'm frustrated from all the like pressures and demands up like God will get what all you provided for me to my circumstances don't change, but my perspective powerful. I loved it right. By the way, we all love a good gripe know I love it when someone will gripe with us is like yeah man, this person, and when someone doesn't do it in a frustrating Kaman and yeah it's and yet it causes us to look at the world with that scarcity, with not enough would you choose gratefulness.

Thank you God for what you've given me. Then finally, would you choose contentment over comparison would you choose contentment. Would you make these decisions in your relationships. Would you today go okay this is going to be hard but when when you know I want to be a taker.

I a minute by the power of your spirit would you empower me to be a giver in this moment.

I want to choose gratefulness.

I'm not very grateful right now, but by God, would you help me I'm just thank you for that man thank you for this house and letting I could be not having a house to rent.

I love to own one day but I'm thankful for what you provided. Choose contentment's happy with what you have over comparison social media. We compare other people's filtered highlight reel to our unfiltered reality dumbly and nowadays. It used to be where it is just like pictures of what really happened now is people taking 5 billion pictures and professional cameras and staging stuff to prove that this is their having the best life and what research has shown over and over again. The more were on social media, the more depressed, discouraged and anxious we are as a people that just research why because you're constantly comparing constantly getting fed with. You're not good enough. You're not pretty enough, you're just not enough.

She's contentment I'm saying this.

The apostle Paul. Philippians 411. Not because I'm in need for either learn to be content whatever the circumstance will oh I know what it is to be in need. I know what it is to have plenty.

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in one I can do all this through him who gives me strength. That's the context of the verse that we quote all the time. I can do all this, or sums all things through Christ who gives me strength to all this is contentment. It's what he does in his strength. Whether you have a lot or don't. The issue isn't what you have is whether he's got all if you whether you go okay I'm going to choose to be a giver not just a taker. I'm going to choose gratefulness instead of griping I'm going to choose content over comparison. Why because happiness is a byproduct of the well lived life not a destination. Today you you get to choose.

You can make happiness, the destination and be running after the elusiveness or you can go.

Happy is the one that likes listening to nothing on the coast to talk about the message adjuster, but in case you jumped in late August. Today was Ryan Ingram with his message. You deserve to be happy from his series, Relational Intelligence, navigating relationships is never been easy, which is why Chip asked Brian to come ensure these messages that bring such practical applications to the daily challenges culture is a powerful voice that influences our attitudes and our thinking so Ryan's fresh perspective on relationship building. From a biblical point of view provides the tools you may need to make a few course corrections for limited time, resources for Relational Intelligence are discounted and the MP3s are always free to order your copy or descended to a friend visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org for additional information. Just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 will check for a few weeks now we've been inviting people to do the daily discipleship with you.

Can you describe what daily discipleship is and what they can expect when they sign up for David the daily discipleship with me is meeting one-on-one, and teaching people from Ephesians chapters 1, two and three how God sees them will learn some Bible study methods will do a little journaling.

We will actually learn how to meet with God. You know Relational Intelligence at the core of it is actually understanding how deeply you're already loved so that you can give the love of God to others. So let me invite you if you want to really practice Relational Intelligence join me for daily discipleship with chip if you'd like to join the short daily video sessions with chip sign up today.

Each video session will only be about 10 minutes and as the course progresses triple walk you through how to read Scripture and how to hear God speak directly to you through the first three chapters of the book of Ephesians the sign up for daily discipleship with chip.

Visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org for more information just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 as we wrap up today's program and wrap up this entire series, I have to tell you had a blast. It's been a joy for me personally to learn and think through relationships through a countercultural and counterintuitive lens from someone younger someone I know well, but someone younger and is living in a world that's a little bit different than mine. And today I was reminded and you're reminded if you want great relationships we have to make some choices choose to be a giver instead of a taker. What you giving in relationships versus what are you getting choose to be grateful instead of griping we can't keep focusing on what we don't have we needed. Thank God for what we do have an end of the last one was powerful. Choose contentment over comparison limit your social media time and go on a journey to find the true source of happiness. I love the very last line of the messages happiness is the byproduct of a relationship of the one who delights in the Lord. The writer of Hebrews reminds us of what's important and what's really not and where to find it.

He says keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God is said never will I leave you never will I forsake you. So we with confidence we can say the Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals due to me the source of knowing God is his word, can I encourage you to build your relationships around the foundation of God's word. God's community and discovering his mission and purpose in living it out every day as you give away your life you'll find true happiness as we wrap up I want to say thank you to those who make this program possible through your generous financial support. Your gifts help us create programs purchase airtime and develop additional resources to help Christians live like Christians. If you've been blessed by the ministry of Living on the Edge. Would you consider sending a gift today. You can call us at 1-888-333-6003. Tap the donate button or donate online at http://livingontheedge.org.

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Until next time, this is Dave Drewry saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge