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September 11, 2020 6:00 am
What if I told you the most common and repeated the heist that you're getting about finding love and relationships is a big fat one today about why stay with welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge drift. Your finger Living on the Edge features the Bible teacher driven group on this international discipleship program. This program, we continue our series called relational intelligent, so let me ask you before you started speaking, relational, intelligent, what would you say is the best guide for making relational go to source okay hang on to that God is ready to jump ship standing up on the series with her son Ryan was a pastor of a vibrant young church, California. So today were going to hear from Ryan as he brings us part one of his message, follow your Proverbs chapter 14, whether introvert or extrovert. We all have this deep longing and desire that we haven't submits a life-giving character shaping relationship that has a rugged commitment to one another. Life-giving yet another friends in your life that you just go like so good to be with any of your souls refresh that is character shaping that when you're around them you want to be a better person in your growing and shaped in four-minute and is not just a fair weather friend is not just a Fairweather marriage. It is has his rugged deep commitment to one another, and every single person in this room has been hardwired by their creator by God to have that kind those kinds of relationships. So the question is how in the world do you expect that kind of relationship and I would suggest what we need is not more relational information. We have lots of that we need more Relational Intelligence is a we live in a world that is overwhelmed with information you can Google everything and were overwhelmed by it.
And yet we are starved for wisdom and that's what the series about is talking about wisdom. The Relational Intelligence, relational wisdom, what is that is the skill of navigating relationships well. It is this skeleton ability. What's great about skill is you can actually develop it. You can grow and it of navigating relationships well and wisely navigating conflict will navigating finances while navigating discussions and communication and emotions. Wow. And so it hears what it is not Relational Intelligence is not merely the acquisition of knowledge is not just getting information you have to apply to skill has to be developed and honed. You have to take it in and get coaching and practice and be consistent with it is application of the eye knowledge we have to make sure were getting the right knowledge to live and navigate relationships well in fact. Proverbs 1412 says it this way, that there is a way that appears to be right.
But in the end it leads to death. There's a way of going about relationships that appears to be a right there's a way that going about your dating that appears to be right going about your friendship that appears to be right. However, in the end it's killing your relationships killing your marriage is killing your friendships doesn't matter whether it feels good, whether it sounds good. Question is, is it really good for you and so he said inherently with Relational Intelligence. There's this challenge that is two things is countercultural and is counterintuitive. The gospel in Christianity is countercultural is not how everyone else is doing relationships now if you look around and evaluate new like the results that everyone else is getting in. Go ahead and do what everyone else is doing. But if you look around and see the brokenness the heartache and the pain then chances are you might want to consider a different countercultural way of doing relationships. The other side of it is is counterintuitive right it means in the gospel in the kingdom of God is leaning in and doing things that that may not feel natural at first it's counterintuitive to put your head in the water to swim well and every young child fights the fight or flight response. I'm going to drown putting my head in the water and we all know when our head, his upper body goes down and you will never swim well and see this. The same is true with Relational Intelligence that we have to understand the things that were going to be talking about the things that were going to be wrestling with their counterintuitive is not gonna be our natural response.
And yet, in like manner with the swimming as we begin to put these into practice what will find is were going to develop a skill of navigating the most important meaningful relationships of our lives. Well, so we live in a world filled with soundbites going. It's got relational advised that unfortunately what happens because so much is coming at us. We tend to swallow whole. Never evaluating is it true is it good or is it wise and there is a major difference friends major difference between sounding good feeling good and being good for us and so what were going to be doing is unpacking popular relational advice and then looking at the timeless principles we find in God's word to help us navigate our most important relationships with Relational Intelligence were going to tackle the most pervasive relational advice in America. In fact, I believe it's America's relational anthem. In fact many of you have given this advice so don't feel bad were going to talk about that many of you have received this advice and you you don't have to go far to find it almost anywhere and everywhere. The America's relational anthem goes like this follow your help me out. Follow your heart. That sounds good doesn't fact it feels really good in the moment. Follow your heart. Your heart will never lead you astray. We say things like this go with your heart. Maybe you're sitting in your habit, a tough decision from the remainder relational.
He was going on. Someone says will what your heart telling you do what you believe feels right, and we find this all over.
In fact, this is been part of the fabric of our culture for a very long time and some of you will remember the sum of your life. I was not. When this song came out 1972 Luther Ingram great last name came out with this hit song. If loving you is wrong I don't want to be right. That's right if loving you is wrong all the way back and seek millennial's is not all knew I just had to give you that is like a this is our anthem like not as been around for a while.
The chain smokers great band suggest chain-smoking catchy song wrote this feeling and in the course says this, they tell me think with my head. Not that thing in my chest and then goes on to say that but if you're the one that I want. If that's really so wrong then they don't know what this feeling is like amazing just to go almost almost a 50 year span and is identical our songs are anthem now I'm going to step on some toes here. I really apologize so just take a deep breath, uncross your arms just for second because the going across right back. I get it.
Disney has been teaching this for a long time. Tarzan Tarzan says, trust your heart. Let fate decide Aladdin. I love hearing the grounds on this one.
Aladdin says when did you last let your heart decide that this is a deep track. This one's a little unfair full disclosure.
This wasn't a song in the movie it was in the closing credits and so if this is only for the true Disney fans Mulan and I had to give it the preface because at once. Really, beloved your heart can tell you know why it's the America's national anthem when it comes to relationships.
The most popular advice we give is follow your heart and what if we just stop for a moment and thought about follow your heart defect underneath. Follow your heart is actually a few beliefs to, in particular, I want to highlight. The first is in following your heart means that your emotions are the best guide for making relational decisions.
None of us would ever say that, but that's inherent in follow your heart because your emotions, your feelings are the very best guide for making relational decision not let's just stop and think about that. What if we applied that to our health and nutrition. Follow your heart. Let me tell you how that would work out for us. For me, in particular, follow your heart means I love eating out, we need out all the time so financially would be shipwrecked because we are a date out so much I love desserts had a massive sweet tooth.
If I could eat it after every meal and for breakfast.
It would be fantastic. And so that would not be good. And then instead of going to the gym. I just watch TV. That's kinda what following my heart would look like nutrition and health. I don't know about you just imagine if we applied this idea into the financial area. Think about this.
Suppose you sat down across from your financial planner you're asking him or her their strategy on you know investments and somehow you know I just really follow my heart. Would you want to invest your resources, your money with the person who doesn't have a plan doesn't have a strategy but just follow the whims of their heart.
No, then why in the world would we ever do something so significant and way more significant than money.
The relationships I'm going to dig into this just a little bit deeper. Let me ask you this has your heart ever lead you wrong. Did you ever follow your heart and end up regretting dating him or her sleeping with him or her marrying him or her. Have you ever followed your heart, only to realize a month later, a year later. Your heart has change for some your biggest regrets have come from following your heart and then we say something that's so interesting here's what we say at the end of a season like that you said about yourself and certainly we say it about others.
When we watch the pain and the heart ache. What were we thinking and therein lies one of the great problems with our culture and that we have separated out our emotions and our feelings with our thinking, and so we live this dualistic reality and it if feeds into the second fundamental belief under follow your heart.
Not just that your emotions are the best guide for making release relational decisions, but this is actually more deeply ingrained belief. Your emotions are the truest thing about we say things like, be true to yourself. You do you see when we talk about our heart and our culture. We people are primarily referring to our feelings follow your feelings or feelings are the truest thing about you and so as result, we live in emotionally reactionary culture.
It elevates our feelings to being the most important way to discern what's best. What's true and what's good for you.
Just follow your heart. It will never leave you wrong in a place like this. Do you love him. Her doesn't lie. Just thought about you know I'm not in love with my mate anymore and I'm in love here so it must be right and it's okay. I'm just if the truest thing about me plays out. Do they make you happy. They still make me happy anymore. They make me happier. I just got it even seeps into this idea of do they accept you for you if I had to change the and all my goodness, and we make major conclusions. Don't miss this. We make major conclusions about who we are, our identity, our sexuality and our future based solely on how we feel in our culture. The underlying belief is everything good and true is already inside of you. You just have to tap in to is actually Eastern mysticism just need to know where the roots of these come from, but let me ask, have your emotions ever been wrong. Have they ever lead you astray see when the Bible talks about the heart. It speaks very poignantly and gives us a different picture than there.
The best guide and the truest thing about you. In fact, the prophet Jeremiah wrote something so painfully insightful. He says this the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick.
Who can understand the heart, not like that the truest thing about you or the best guide for decisions. Jeremiah the prophet would say is that the heart has this incredible capacity for self-deception sick and so the question is what do we do with our hearts if we don't follow what we actually do. Then with this heart because her little confused now and I know I just spent some time helping us think through and undermine and deconstruct our cultural philosophy.
But then what do we do that one of the things our culture has gotten right is our heart is of central importance. The Bible has actually a lot to say about the heart and when it speaks about the heart.
It doesn't just speak about your feelings or your emotions.
In fact, the Hebrew thought didn't separate the interior life of a person. The heart according to the Bible when you read that in Scripture.
It means the center of a person's mind, emotions and will.
It is the seat of one's moral conscience and affection.
This is the heart is the interior you are listening to thing on the talk about the message adjuster, but in case you jumped in late August. Today was Ryan Ingram with part one of his message, follow your heart from a series Relational Intelligence navigating relationships is never been easy, which is why Chip asked Brian to come ensure these messages that bring such practical applications to the daily challenges culture is a powerful voice that influences our attitudes and our thinking so Ryan's fresh perspective on relationship building.
From a biblical point of view provides the tools you may need to make a few course corrections for limited time, resources for Relational Intelligence are discounted and the MP3s are always free to order your copy or descended to a friend visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org for additional information. Just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 will cheer. Brian was really on a roll today. I think it's great that is not shy about presenting a biblical challenge to conventional thinking you do it all the time.
With that in mind, could you give us kind of the pulse of what you're hearing from people these days yeah Dave.
At some point you wonder you know is Living on the Edge really making a difference and I got a note in the mail that I just have to share with all of those that are praying at all those that help us financially. Listen to this dear Chip, we don't have enough words to show our gratitude.
At one point my husband and I both thought things were so bad they never get better, but thankfully I heard one of your sermons at spoke to her situation. Then I found out that I could download the Chip Ingram app on my phone so I started listening on a regular basis now. My husband listens to, through God's transformation in our lives, we started seeing restoration or family.
Even though were still a work in progress. We can see God's hand making direct changes in our lives. Recently we decided to make a monthly donation to help keep your broadcast going.
We realize that if your ministry helped us this much that it can help others to thank you for all that you're doing to furthering God's kingdom signed DR and I just remind you, you know were also personally focused and were human that you know over a million people this week will hear what you're hearing and not only that, but then the broadcast and the teaching in the small groups will go to China to the Middle East and places all around the world because people pray because people partner financially and so if you're one of those partners can I just tell you thank you very very much if you're one of those partners that kinda gives now and then and would ever consider prayerfully to say you know I bet I could give just a little a month. Boy, those monthly partners really help us understand what we can project and in making budgets. It's a huge help and if you have never partnered with us financially. Would you just today say Lord is this something you want me to do and if he nudges you and says yes follow that good prompting and thanks so much in advance will of partnering with Living on the Edge is an idea that makes sense to you. We'd love to have you join us helping Christians live like Christians will change the world we live in how to give a gift, just go to LivingontheEdge.org Donate on the app or give us a call at 1-888-333-6003. Your generosity is greatly appreciated as we close today's program I have to tell you where on the front side of this message and the very practical so wow how do you take the next step is in her next broadcast, so make sure you don't miss it but what I wish you could've experienced is what I experienced sitting in a room of young professionals, young Mary's a huge number of college students and a number of other people all around.
I was looking around as he was teaching this and was beginning to literally deconstruct the American mantra of relationships. Follow your heart and SE begin to give examples from everything from Disney to Hallmark, and everywhere in between. I was watching the faces of people who've been bombarded for the first 28 or 30 years of their life with this message over and over and over that the way you make decisions as follow your heart.
If it feels good in your heart, then it must be true and I just watched it in amazement and thought to myself because I didn't grow up in bombarded with that of course I've heard it and I see it. I don't think that way and I watched the lights come on and then I watch him talk about the heart is deceitful above all else is desperately wicked. And then he began to go down and talk about guarding your heart and protecting your heart and you could almost see the body language in the room of people who had followed their heart and they been hurt and they been wounded and they been rejected and they thought this is the relationship, above all relationships and at times you know just blown through moral boundaries that they knew were wrong as a Christian, but how could it be wrong.
It felt so right. And it was just an amazing experience to see how an entire culture has been bombarded with Allied that says follow your heart. And by the way, this isn't just for young people because you can't watch a Hallmark movie and it seems like with Hallmark, it's Christmas or no matter what it's about.
Whether it's a mystery. I mean they're going to fall in love and the core behind falling in love is well. The older lady says to the younger lady read the older man to the younger man well I don't know what you should do but just follow your heart. What I want you know it's a lion in our next broadcast. You can learn the antidote the prescription to hell not to follow your heart and have a great relationship instead of ones that continually hurt and disappoint. Don't miss it you know a great way to stay engaged and connected to chip in Living on the Edge is with the Chip Ingram app will get free access to all of Chip's recent messages is message notes and much more.
Not only that, but it couldn't be easier to call or email directly from the yeah well I hope will be with us again next time Kelvin was really saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge