God’s View of Divorce & Remarriage

Your Bible if you would join me in Matthew five the gospel of Matthew chapter 5 and when you find your place will honor the word of God this morning and reread verse 31, 32, just a short couple verses, but there's a long message behind them.

Matthew five verse 31 and 32 Jesus says here in this great sermon on the Mount. It has been said, whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement but I say to you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication causes her to commit adultery.

Whosoever shall marry her that is divorce committed adultery. Father, we do thank you for your work today. May it be everything you wanted to be in our hearts in life.

May we come underneath the truth of God's word and let it rain over us. Let it be. Our lights are wisdom, let it be our understanding you give salvation you are righteous and we pray that your kingdom would come in your will would be done.

I pray you would govern our hearts. When it comes to the matter of forced remarriage give clarity and we just trust you for that.

In Jesus name. And God's people said then you may be seated this morning, a Sunday. We looks at a message entitled God's design for marriage and we looked in Genesis chapter 2, and how that God had designed an ordained marriage to be really the most special of all human relationships so special that God used. Marriage is the illustration to convey his relationship to us in salvation. He likens the church to himself as a marital union and God designed it to be one man for one woman for one lifetime.

Marriage creates according to the Bible, a one flesh relationship and its unique above all other relationships is the only one flesh relationship that you have two become one. The Bible says in the marriage is the first of the three institutions, a God ordained the ordained marriage being the family, then the government and in the church. Later on God then richly blessed marriage in Genesis 2 with provision with protection and also he blessed her with his own perfect person in relationship with them as they walked with him in the cool of the day. I created marriage to be innocent and pure without any shame and any designed marriage to be lasting that it would truly be till death do us part and in the Bible teaches that marriage is a covenant relationship. Marriage is not simply a coming together of two people in a in a some kind of a ceremony only, but it's a covenant between three God is the one who literally joins two people to become one flesh in the eyes of God and and that is a very serious thing and we saw that Satan hates that ensue in Genesis 3 comes along and he assaults the marriage and tries to infected with sin, which he does in sin is destructive it is. It is what destroys marriage. Every marriage that has ever ended has ended because sin got involved someway somehow this morning I want to give a biblical view of divorce and remarriage in America, we felt the pain and sting of divorce for 45 to 50% of marriages end in divorce. Second marriages is 60 to 7060 to 67% of second marriages end in divorce and third marriages. It's over 70% average divorces in that category. So with 2 million new marriages every year in America there's a million of those that end in divorce is so tragic and I understand that this is a massive issue to work through with a myriad of questions people have different experience that they have gone through that make this really a a a big topic to wait through and I just want you to know your pastor is not taking this lightly. I spent as much time on the sermon and preparation in prayer and reading and studying as I have for any any message in my past and and really I have a this is a heavy message for me because there's so many people in our church who have gone through this and whether they've been through divorce. Her parents divorce their their their children and in the they they they deal with weight from this and it affects them in ways and so I just want to navigate this with gentleness and with the wisdom of of the word of God and I pray that the Holy Spirit would let me convey this message in a way that would both honor God. First of all, but would also be the most beneficial to us here today.

There's so much to this that I am actually going to preach on marriage next week as well and in some extended thoughts that were to be getting into. In the book of first Corinthians 7, but some of the questions. Sometimes this is divorce allowed by God and for what reason, if any, can someone who is divorced remarriage. What if you remarried illegitimately.

According to the Bible. What should you do that now is that marriage legitimate and God still use my life if I committed adultery if I remarried for illegitimate reasons committed adultery is that adultery perpetual if I'm in a second marriage that is not not not what God had planned it, should I usually leave that marriage. So these are some questions were to be answering in and walking through now you need understand there are some clear statements in the Bible that deal with marriage and divorce. And then sometimes you can have a experience or situation that the Bible doesn't directly speak to and then you gotta navigate the situations with the wisdom of biblical principles, so for that is how were going to address this today. Now I want to first ask why does Jesus address the issue of divorce. In Matthew chapter 5 verse 31 and 32.

Our Lord is just finished discussing the sin of adultery, and adultery. He said, is not just simply a hand issue, but it's a hard issue that adultery starts on the inside and it works its way to the outside of a man and so friend you need understand today. God is called you to inward cleanness, God wants you pure on the inside. And so you clean before God is your heart cleaner your hands clean before God.

But the natural result of one who goes into adultery is that their marriage would then be violated in that marriage would very potentially move toward divorce, and so the natural transition of the conversation would go from adultery to know what happens if divorce happens. And so Jesus addresses that natural question, no, what was the view of divorce and remarriage in the day that our Lord gives this statement is basically you need understand for simple positions that you can take with divorce and remarriage is only for either.

First of all you don't believe there's a right to divorce for any reason and there's no right for remarriage. Secondly, you can believe that there are certain reasons that you can be divorced and there are no reasons for remarriage third position is that there's certain circumstances that can validate of divorce in there certain circumstances that can validate illegitimate remarriage. And finally, you could have a loose view that says you know what you could divorced remarriage for about any reason. So those are the only for positions that a person can take now in our Lord's day during the launch the church you need understand that marriage was in chaos. The family unit was being disrupted and destroyed William Barclay who does a great job with historical areas states of the Lord's day. There is no time in history when the marriage bond stood in greater peril of destruction and then the days when Christianity first came into the world at that time the world was in the danger of witnessing the almost total breakup of marriage in the collapse of the home I'm going to get into because because the Bible sits in the context of both a Roman Greek perspective of marriage and what they were doing as well as what the Jews were doing with marriage.

Today I want to show you the Jewish view and and how society was affected by by their views because we can be working through the book of Matthew.

But next week I want to show you what the Romans and the Greeks which were Gentiles, and that was what they were dealing with.

And then we'll look around first reviewed six spending seven and in-kind a walk into that next week in that Roman situation, but the Jewish view of marriage really that they had a high view of marriage, they believe that it was a sin.

If you were married by the age of 20, so they they they believe that you needed to get married and have children. They believe that it was a way to honor what the Bible says in note Genesis chapter 2 due to going to world and populate the world, replace or multiply in your get married do that if you're not getting married and populating then you were diminishing the image of God in the world they said so.

So it was very important for them to get married. They said the only reason you were loud not to get married was if you were going to devote your life to the study of the law of God. Jewish marriages were really the biggest celebration that the city would have. It was a citywide thing was a big deal. I don't know if you've ever been to other countries would like a funeral went on. I mean it's like a whole street procession anybody ever been somewhere with they do that and that they like close down a street of me felt like it. It's a big deal. I we we stopped and don't really say this, some of some people may be young and don't know some these etiquettes that need to be done in social society. But if you ever see a funeral procession going on.

Make sure you stop your car off to the side in a slow you down for three or four minutes but that saying I honor life.

When people stop with that saying is I value life. I don't know who that person is in and just pull aside and say that you know what I wanted. God be with that situation. Lord comfort that family and just just really take some time to do that because you may be on your way to go get hamburgers need to get back is a grill hot that family saying hey, this dad of ours, the patriarch of the mother of her home just passed away in their grieving in there something more weighty than a hamburger at that time. Okay even though we do value hamburgers.

They are not as valuable, obviously, is that situation so so it was a big deal, funerals and marriages, remarriage, marriage is one the day. This was this was a very exciting time for them. They had a high view of marriage.

By the time that you were married on your wedding that you had already been what they called the Trojans for 12 months. This was heavier than just what we know is engagement.

They were actually married in the Jewish culture in every aspect except in the in the intimate part they were not to live together, and it was during that 12 month probation period of where they wouldn't physically be together suit to validate the purity of the wife, and it was actually interesting because it was during a 12 month probation. That's when Mary got pregnant so you can see how disruptive that was for for them and good like Pentecost says, on the evening of the marriage, the bride was led from her parents home to that of the husband was music festivities by their friends. They bore torches and lamps, myrtle branches, flowers, veil bride arrived was led to the bridegroom. The marriage formulated a formula pronounced legal documents were signed it would wash hands, then they would have a feast that went on anywhere from one day to seven days. This is a big celebration and rightfully so low they had a great idea of marriage, they elevated highly but they also ideally the Jews aboard divorce. They knew what Malachi chapter 2 verse 16 says that God hates divorce.

He hates putting away. So, the rabbis declared quote the very altars shed tears when a man divorces the wife of his youth. Sadly their ideal of marriage and divorce was not what they were living up to in practice so so the ideal was not being performed in their life and divorce was becoming rampant in the days of Jesus.

Jesus here in Matthew six, 532 quotes Deuteronomy 24 verse number one we read for you in Deuteronomy 24 verse one says because this is a very important verse you need to know this and it's a it's a verse with a simple statement but it but it brought about some heavy debates about what how it's implications and how its applications would be felt in a society. Deuteronomy 24 once is when a man has taken a wife and married her in it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes because she had found in these are the words some uncleanness in her big debate is what that means, then let him write her a bill of divorcement and give it in her hand and send her out of his house.

The bill of divorcement in the Jewish culture stated this. Let this be from me, the rates of divorce and letter of dismissal and deed of liberation that now makes Mary work whatsoever. Mandel will they would sign that in the presence of two witnesses, and the divorce would be finalized.

Now you need to understand there were two schools in that day that had very strong opposing views when it came to what you what you are allowed to divorce and remarry for there was a skill. There is a school know the school of semi in the school of Hillel of the school of semi believe that you could only divorce in this uncleanness in her referred to some kind of sexual sin, adultery, some kind of looseness there on chastity and they believed you can only get divorced and remarried. If it was for unchastity or adultery that they had a lot more conservative view within the resist school of how well they defined the words there. They believe that that meant that there were some uncleanness in her in the widest possible manner. They interpretative that they said it meant that a man could divorce his wife and she spoiled dinner by putting too much salt in his food carefully. Remember one of my daughters name which one but while back. She said I want to make some shrimp sounds good. You know like my seven daughters was a cook for you me that my gut is a blessing. I don't remember ever cooking for my dad and I just a dispute so she she made up some shrimp and I'll never forget taking a bite of his shrimp. I got now I know what it would be like to lick the bottom of the soul. See you and I and II thought a sweetheart. You know these. The strength will actually there almost coming back to life.

The preservative quality of salt is so rich and right now I mean Jesus will return. It is like this district still got what you think that last forever.

Leaving a friend waited next year.

I mean, is never go bad thing. You don't get too much salt. He said that's a wet reason for divorce if she went in it in public with her head uncovered, you could divorce her. She talk with other men in the streets. They said you could divorce her. She was a brawling woman if she spoke disrespectfully to your parents you could divorce her if she was quarrelsome when Rabbi Rabbi Akiba said that the phrase meant if she find no favor in your sight meant that a man might divorce his wife and she found a woman whom he considered to be more attractive than his own life. So as a guess which school was more influential and most more accepted school of Hillel because naturally men will receive the interpretation of a text based upon the lust that they have. They will begin to twist Scripture to mold into them so and we see that in our world today.

Don't wait so so who really believe God is and people begin to define God by defining themselves what I just believe and then they tell you what they think about God. I'm like you just told me what you think about you. God is God is not made in the image of man. Man is made in the image of God right so so so the school of Hillel was the dominant school of that day and you need also understand that this Rabbi Hillel had in fact just died about 20 years before Jesus Christ began his public ministry in that liberal view had permeated the culture divorce was so easy.

And that day the girls would not. They were very afraid to get divorced because of the level of insecurity that they felt inside of the marriage union when you fast forever in Matthew chapter 19 verse three.

Even if the scribes challenge Jesus of the Pharisees that in a second amended divorce for any cause, because that was the question of the day continues to divorce for anything and because that's what was going on. So when Jesus says here but I say unto you, you've heard that it's been said but I say to you, Jesus was not contradicting Moses, but he was clarifying Moses and this was a shock to the system because he brings to light a elevated view of marriage, recognizing God's hatred for divorce and in this was just a a powerful blow to a culture that become very liberal and loose so as a number three. What is God's view of divorce, according to the Bible well first of all you need to understand that God hates divorce.

God hates divorce. Malachi 216 for the Lord, the God of Israel say that he hated putting away that were putting away simply just means divorce is a question. How could God not hate divorce ever goes in the marriage that you know what, let's leave Boris is a possibility know you say I would hate the idea of ever having to divorce my wife.

Everybody would hate that marriages would anybody here hate to see these guys get divorced, everybody would raise her hand and say yes except somebody you maybe didn't want to marry, but how much good has divorce done much harder because it produced pain separation, broken families, broken covenants, broken promises you as much joy as we feel in the marriage union should equal in the grief that we feel when that marriage covenant is broken should grieve us. So why does God hate divorce because divorce is always a result of sin somewhere. Either you send or someone sinned against you is a departure of God's design. It violates faithfulness. It violates commitments, divorce should grieve our hearts, because, agrees God's heart.

So what is divorce well to understand what the Bible says about divorce. We need to know what divorce mean divorce friends involves the breaking of the covenant union between a husband and wife and you need to know this is extremely important in the Bible. Divorce is only rate it's is regulated always by a formal written and delivered declaration of the breaking of that covenant union in the Bible. A divorce requires it to be written. The presentation of a writ of divorce is what actually ends the marriage, even if the obligations inside the marriage are violated and broken the marriage itself will last until a formal written decree has been issued. Even God himself delivered a writ of divorce to the nation of Israel. Some of you may not know this but God's been divorced. God's been divorce the one who hates divorce has himself had to go through that Isaiah 50 verse one says the safe the Lord. Where is the bill of your mother's divorce whom I have put away.

This is God putting away Judah actually the southern kingdom now won't won't prolong on this, but is because of their because sin is like committing adultery against God, and they continue to do that in worship pagan gods, God gave them a bill of divorcement. But then he took Judah back reconciliation happened because of the Davidic covenant God. God held that relationship with the northern kingdom.

The Bible tells us in Jeremiah 38 that God put her way through divorce. Jeremiah 38 and I saw one for all these causes whereby backslidden Israel committed adultery.

God said I had put her away and given her a notice a bill of divorce, and so each time God always presented a bill of divorcement a written statement. A declaration of that divorce coming to an end.

I've heard people say this, we we are not legally divorced but we are divorced in our hearts.

Therefore, the marriage is over.

I understand why people say that I understand that people have been through some terrible situations where they've been greatly wronged and separation is happening in the divorce getting drug out in the courts and it's a mess and sometimes it can last for months and even in the years I understand that that can be a very's net very, very terrible, and sometimes a nasty situation which you need understand you're not divorced because you feel divorce in your heart, you're not divorced until a bill of divorcement a legal document assigned. You need to know that just the same way when I got married to my wife I didn't say honey I feel like were married and are therefore were married. Now give me some kiss. We were married because I felt married in my heart, neither are we divorced because we feel divorce on the divorce.

I quietly married my wife and an end but we elicit when a person says that there there there just trying to mold the situation to what they wanted to be but but you need understand of marriage and divorce are both something this.

That's before witnesses. It is signed and it is a covenant that's made in marriage and it's a covenant it's broken and divorce. Also you need to know this when the giving of the divorce is finalized that marriage union is over. Even if the marriage ended for un-biblical reasons, it is wrong to say we are still married, or that couple is still married in the eyes of God, even if they got a divorce.

That's not true. Don't say that they're not married in the eyes of God. There divorce legally give you Scripture for that first Corinthians chapter 7. Listen what verse 1011 says, and unto the married I command, yet not I but the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband always dealing with Christians married that don't have a biblical foundation for divorce.

It says don't let her divorce her husband. Verse 11 but and if she depart, these are not biblical grounds for departure. Let her remain. What's the next word God defines her as being on married, she's no longer married or let her be reconciled to her husband and that the husband but not the husband put away his wife, so they need to reconcile their marriage and that covenant be restored because one divorce. You are unmarried, so divorce is ending the marriage by a formal written decree and secondly all divorce is whether sinful or valid in the marriage. Therefore, passages were Jesus speaks about divorce Matthew chapter 5 rat were to look at Matthew 19, briefly. He also talks about it in Mark chapter 10 which is a same text is what with the Matthew 19 deals with, and it's a longer version of it to dialogue about divorce. In Luke 16, verse 18 it, which is comparable to what we read in Matthew five, only those for so the need to speak to this for just a moment to some of you may not have studied through divorce and remarriage in the Bible a lot.

Some of you may have so many to speak to some things I don't want to get super confusing to people as we go through this, but Matthew wrote his gospel specifically more strictly to the Jewish people.

He wrote to a Jewish crowd in mind, I should say and so there's a lot of ways I am sure with that in the past and reasons for that. That's what he calls it the kingdom of heaven, and not the kingdom of God because of what God was like they just did say God's name out loud like that. So knowing their Jewish sensibilities. He which you refer to it as a kingdom of heaven. That's the only gospel that refers to is the kingdom of heaven. And so some people believe that when he's writing about this exception clause where it says you can not put your wife away is that saving for the cause of fornication that exception clause is only given in Matthew 519.

It's not given in Martinez not given in Luke's gospel that's caused a lot of debate because a sake that is only did Matthew's only dealing with the betrothal. He's not dealing with the with the marriage so you can only get you only break your betrothal. If unfaithfulness is found.

It's not talking about marriage.

So marriage can never be ended.

And that's a very strict view and in very strong we conservative view of marriage, I do not believe that Matthew five and 19 is dealing with the betrothal. I believe it's going with the actual marriage. The reason I believe that is because Jesus is quoting Deuteronomy 2424 is not dealing with the betrothal.

The 24th is dealing with the actual marriage of a couple that make sense and there's a couple other reasons, but I won't get into that so Jesus says in Matthew 532, whosoever shall put away his wife, give her a bill of divorcement gives her that saving for the cause of fornication causes her to commit adultery in his River mirrors are as divorce commits adultery know what the question is what does the word saving for the cause of fornication. What does that fornication mean another word fornication.

There is a word for days. He actually expands beyond just physical adultery. It deals it's a Greek word porn they were we get the word pornography from but it's porn a graphic pornography but this is this is referring to any forbidden sexual intercourse either between a married or unmarried couple in the Bible its use. That way, but but here it refers to any perverted sexual activity.

It could include incest, prostitution, homosexuality, beast reality, all of those things are inside of the word for neo-so so any type of sexual infidelity, sexual sin outside of your husband-wife relationship you violated in some way in some fashion with anyone else. Anyway else that is what that word is referring to. Now you say is this is not saying that this is just a way out of marriage, but rather that this is the only legitimate because Jesus is sharing with us here that gives you grounds for divorce. That God would recognize like what MacArthur says. He says God never condoned divorce because he's what he joins together is not to be separated by man adultery. Another reality that God never intended is the only thing that can break the bond of marriage.

In fact, in the Old Testament law. Adultery necessarily would've dissolve the marriage because adultery would cause the guilty party to be put to death.

Therefore, you wouldn't have a spouse, so he says if if if you if you break the marriage covenant you divorce for any other cause other than Cornelia sexual wickedness and causes her. It says to commit adultery. Whosoever shall marry her that is divorce commits adultery. Now the phrase causes her to commit adultery.

Jesus is naturally supposing that this woman whose divorce will go on and remarry right because she she's she's if she commits adultery there some other relationship. She naturally goes into so that's what he is presupposing and since the marriage ended illegitimately and sinfully in the future relationship would also be sinful and so Jesus is teaching that a man or woman who does not have a right to divorce do not have a right to remarry divorce someone wrongly without any biblical reason creates what Jesus refers to here and seeks to is a chain reaction of adultery. You and your ex will end up being adulterers in the new relationships now in the face of this liberal view of marriage in our Lord's day the school of OL and all that they were propagating about easy divorce and easy remarriage.

Jesus comes in like lays this down and I can tell you this was a shock to their system because there were people I guarantee you in that day they were standing in the crowd of thousands of people there like you know I want to get up divorcing my wife and I'm tired of her unity Burma biscuits and chic with too much Solomon transversely and no there there. There's gotta be people in the crowd, thinking this stuff about divorcing and Jesus says this in their life. Why would you remember when and in the other gospel record. They said it is not good for men to marry benefits that strict, I mean that's how they felt like it's you know when you get married and then you have to stay married, you know you can just go off and known me.

This is a big deal, and so this was also a powerful rebuke to the good of the scribes and Pharisees who you know that all were not adulterers were so we look so good on the outside and yet there there lusting on the inside they're violating this command and the only inside their heart.

And then there there propagating the school of Hillel's teaching by allowing the cultured beep, permeated with with adultery and so this this was a business powerful rebuke in that culture we live in a day were easy divorce no cause divorce just become so rampant. Used to be that money was the number one cause of divorce that's been taken over by infidelity, sexual sin. There are some nations around this world where they have upwards of 50 to 60% of marriages that end because of infidelity. I mean just the lewdness in a call you Matt just like living in a slime field culture of me just half of the culture just okay to go sleep around and just, and those are the ones who get caught or just break it off it's it's it's so sad. It's such a heartbreaking thing in and you know the second reason for divorce is money these days and then communication and in the loss of sexual intimacy inside of the marriage and other reasons are dealing with the loss of her wrong expectations. But Jesus here doesn't deal with any of those he doesn't say you know what, if you have wrong expectations. You can divorce or you have money problems. You can divorce or he doesn't work good. You can divorce her. She doesn't do the he doesn't get a loss of intimacy divorce insanity that is the only reason divorce as if there were sexual infidelity.

That's it and end in here you actually see an act of divine mercy because the Old Testament gave the death penalty it's it's you have to ask the question why doesn't Jesus say if you commit adultery. The sexual sin of tornado you're committing a sexual sin, it would be included around the realms of adultery wising the death penalty applied here so Jesus amends this by because of the biggest one he says is definitely further altered. So when Jesus doing here is showing divine mercy now steps and because because God rejoices more in reconciliation and forgiveness than he does in judgment and he would rather give the person time to repent and get right and reconciled that he would just bring down death upon them, and so he will ask the question of my required to divorce of adultery or unfaithfulness is happened, the answer is no, not at all. The Bible does not command divorce. It only allows for it under certain certain certain circumstances. Jesus is not saying immorality must lead to divorce.

Only that it may lead to divorce.

I believe Fred's marriage must be fought for marriage must be fought for. I believe that it should be's be sought in our hearts as much as possible to work through marriage and I just think the people today don't do that Jesus had just got done talking about the importance of reconciliation here in Matthew five how if somebody's at odds.

You need to seek to reconcile and that should be the heart of a Christian to anyone else. In most who else but above all should we seek to reconcile within the person we covenanted with before God. Now God's desire is for us to be forgiving and merciful as he is merciful. If a spouse truly repents of their sin of adultery that needs this be sought to be worked out in the case of adultery, divorce is only allowed, I believe, according to the Bible if it's a continual state of unrepentant adultery if somebody commits adultery.

Some sexual sin that violates the marriage and their broken repent of.

I believe the reconciliation and forgiveness needs to be the response white what you believe that because that's what God does to us.

That's what God does to me. We violate our relationship with God all the time in our life. Anybody ever put something before God in your life. Raise your hand if you can raise or hang out on the truth so you thankfully because raise her hand. When we put other things in front of God were were were valuing them more than got us in adulterers at an and I can tell you friends aren't you thankful God so gracious with us. He doesn't put us away.

Praise God for mercy because we all needed but I think about the Old Testament book of Hosea. The Bible says in Hosea chapter number three. Notice what it says appear and said the Lord unto me, go yet love a woman, beloved of her friends yet and adulterous. The prophet Hosea is told by God to go live in adulterers, according to the love of the Lord toward the children of Israel, and as you read through this chapter, you find that he literally goes in and he had already been married to her and is called to go take her back out of adultery. He has to pay for her and her bills and she's an adulterous. She's a prostitute. I mean she is simple and God's is always a good unit will be by God, all the old testament prophets. You had to pick me in order to marry Gomer in on her. She is out.

Yes, children, and is just just an amazing picture of the grace of God. Sometimes I don't think we feel the weight of our sin on somebody's been adulterated know we get stirred up about that.

God says, I think slowdown wanted to get started about your sin to sin before God.

They got John a Jesus forgives a woman caught in adultery the spouses violated the marriage by sin. God's ideal is not divorce because he hates divorce. God wants to see reconciliation work through if possible. But sadly, reconciliation is not always possible isn't sometimes a person is hardened in their sin there unrepentant date there fast in their sin. There nothing they won't listen to it such a case divorces permissible. That is the waster to apply that reality. But many people don't fight for their marriages.

They so easily walk away.

Listen to a study published by psychology today, but do it on your records of these things, but it shows that 78% of those who remain in a difficult marriage report. Five years later, that they are quote very happy.

It's what the study showed was those who work through their very difficult situation. Five years later reported to be very happy. I'll never forget when I was in college and I was working next to a lady in this work for this newspaper company and that she was married to a doctor who was like so wealthy that like they went to a private island and live like three or four months out of the year I was like you're ridiculous. This is a ridiculous and in in in and she shared with me. She said you know like sometimes I'm so greedy. She said because I quickly ended my first marriage and and you know we didn't get along.

We fought in.

There are some things in but she said I just wish I would've fought for that marriages that I still grieve over that she was still grieving three or four months on a private island was not what she was looking for was is that covenant that she broke and she said you know if I knew now what I knew. Then I would've so much more that patients and learning to work through problems and just notice the grass is not always greener on the other side, they still have maneuver over there to know know of numerous Delfino notes cow patties right good now with me to Matthew 19 I want to show you some things Jesus says later.

Here is a dialogue about divorce. There's a question that's brought to Jesus in verse number three of Matthew 19 and the question is a test applied to Jesus by the Pharisees and says the Pharisees also came in and tempting him or testing him and saying to him is it lawful for a man to put away his wife. That means divorce his wife for every cause can you divorce for any reason and this is a test and because they knew like everybody in a culture like leave that like they believe that like a this loose setting and so Jesus is like a want you just tell them again what your strict views are Jesus, and according to Mark's account. It's not written here in Matthew's account in Mark's account. He said what did Moses command you. He asked him that question in what they do. They go directly to Deuteronomy 24 but Jesus doesn't go directly to him since you Deuteronomy 24 dealing with divorce, Jesus goes to Genesis 2 and that's what he wanted them to do when he asked that question that's white.

What he does here. Look at verse four.

Jesus goes to Genesis duties that have you not read that he which made them in the beginning made them male and female couple things Jesus believed in the Adam and Eve story and that that was the beginning Jesus believed in the Genesis account of creation, just as we do this God made everything in six days rested on the seventh.

You say that's not scientific actually does the most scientific thing Lester believing in the delusion of Freudians are not for you but but so what I goes on the same rabbit trails is that does but go going down the evolutionary hypothesis. He says in verse number five and said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother shall cleave to his wife and they twain are they too shall be how many one flash in the wherefore they are no more twain are no more tubal one flesh would therefore gotta join together. Don't divorce or let not man put asunder.

So some things we see here Jesus thought marriage was instituted by God marriages to people leaving their families and coming together in leaving and cleaving.

You see, marriage makes two people one flesh. There no more to do with their united in one marriages the joining together of two by God in marriage is not the end in divorce. It's to stay intact to remain Nebraska marriage you been married 55 years in John.

I love it's John her husband just got baptized here about two weeks ago and in the pray for this dear couple because John they just found out he just perhaps may have a few months left to live is one of our war veterans and picked up some heavy stuff when he was overseas and we praise God for those brave men and women. Amen. And so you pray for John and Pam there dear to our hearts to know if you talk to John and Pam. You know you say John how is it been 55 years and I can tell you he's on is it been good.

The married Pam yes Pam J say you know what we workers install through the years, but it's good, but anybody been married 55 years. They know what it means to go through battles, but they but you know those battles do.

It just brings them closer and closer together and to sit at the end your life knowing that you know what were to be together till death do us part. The beautiful union.

It's a beautiful thing at the testimony to family says you know what you can last and it's worth fighting for and suit to value that marriage and that's what Jesus is elevating here. They ask another question in verse number seven.

They said in him, why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement or writ of divorcement to put her away. He said under them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives are allowed you noticed, they said, why did he command us. Jesus said it wasn't a command. It was an allowance, Moses never commanded divorce.

He just gave allowance. There because the heart is a heart but from the beginning.

He reminds them that's not what God's plan was and then he repeats the exception because I see and use worship waves. Lifesaver fornication for me is the same Greek word there Mary, another commits adultery ever marries another, which is put away does commit adultery.

And that's where verse 10. They said if that be the case of a man be with his wife is not good to marry is really strict really really will get into that about two years later. Matthew 19 will jump back on the staff but the Bible split with me over Deuteronomy 24 minutes only show you what would Deuteronomy 24 means because this is important you need to know some of these text. This is a very important text.

Deuteronomy 24. Look at verse one through four. This is the passage that they're referring to in Matthew five as well as Matthew 19 says when a man had taken a wife and married her in a come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes because because he found some uncleanness in her that phrase uncleanness is a Hebrew word that means the nakedness of the thing. Some have interpreted it as being indecent exposure includes improper, shameful, indecent behavior of promiscuity just short of adultery. Since adultery brought the death penalty. We know this is it referring to adultery must be something along the lines of that some kind of sexual uncleanness. She did something it says. Then let him write her a bill of divorcement given in her hand and sent her out of his house. Verse two and when she is departed out of his house. She may go and be another man's wife. So when that happens, she goes and she becomes another man's wife. Moses does not command the divorcement provides a structure and that structure protects both the man and the woman so that they have some kind of legal protection. Ever. They have a writ of divorce shows there no longer married and they can go on and remarry. Now you need to know in the near east of that day. All these other surrounding cultures. Divorce you would just say it to your wife. I divorce you and in you divorce is done, but not with the Bible that it has a writ of divorce. In verse three goes on in malic and get on the 24th visit. If the latter husband hate her and write her a bill of divorcement I mean this woman doesn't have a going very well for and given it into her hand and sit with her out of his house for the latter husband die which took her to be his wife. Her former husband would send her away. May not take her again to be his wife.

You can't remarry. The first husband. Why says after that she is defiled for that is an abomination before the Lord and also not cause a lameness in which the Lord thy God giveth the for inheritance.

The question is what the file.

Her and I do agree with MacArthur who says only one thing is possible.

She was defiled in the marriage because there was no ground for divorce in the first marriage.

So when she remarried.

She became an adulterous so if if if you're divorced for illegitimate reasons.

They go off, remarry you cannot remarry them sweetie saying very clearly hear the command. Deuteronomy 24 is that the former husband is not allowed to take her back. Now in Jesus day they had they just a free license to get divorced and in Jesus brings that down in in in restricts that to what the Bible clearly had in mind were marriage. Now God allows divorce also so that the adulterer has opportunity to repent, because again, as I said God loves repentance more than he loves judgment and we praise God for that and I'll ask you today, how have you treated the mercy of God in your life as God be merciful to you two been gracious and in and we need to say you know what today got thank you for the mercy you've shown me. Thank you for for for when I sin that you can cast me away that you are gracious to me and long-suffering and so the right thing to do is to seek the holy before God that we all fall short. So Jesus didn't teach adultery mandated divorce but it was an option in case of irreconcilable unfaithfulness to be some concluding truths that I want to get into some questions as we close today. So from this we learn the divorce is a covenant made between man God and the woman and in and it is a breaking of that that marriage covenant. It is a writ of divorce that is required for that marriage to end God never never desired for divorce to happen.

He hates divorce. He loves marriage. But when when adultery happens which he also hates it produces a affect upon that marriage because of sin. Divorce became necessary to regulate protection for the innocent party. Divorce is by a written formal decree once it is signed and formalized that marriage is over. Divorce is allowed for poor nailed the offending spouse committed sexual sin with someone other than her spouse. If repentance is found. Marriage should seek to be reconciled. If not, then divorce is allowed, but not commanded all. Also, you need to know this, and only get into this next week but in first grade in seven Jesus is dealing here in Matthew's gospel with two believers that are mirrored what happens when a believer is married to an unbeliever and and Paula deals with that and he teaches in first Corinthians 7 if you're married to an unbeliever and the unbeliever wants to divorce you that you are to let them divorce you. You are to let them go look at that later so biblically there's only two reasons.

Divorce is allowed for a Christian and unfaithful spouse and an unbelieving spouse who seeks to depart from you. Your to let them go to give you some questions about divorce and remarriage. Sometimes you will ask questions well if if those are the only reasons. What about abuse, can I divorce for abuse of my supposed to stay in a relationship and suffer abuse and of the Bible doesn't speak to abusive marriages. It doesn't refer to that if there is mount marital abuse, and abuse can come in many different forms.

Sometimes people call something abuse just because they want out of it or verbally abusing me and if you went in and videotape that house you find both of them were verbally accusing each other right can happen sometimes but but abuse can be verbally can be emotional. It can be physical, it can be addictions. There's a lot of things, but if if there is legitimate abuse. I always advise the person to separate from that abusive situation you need to get away from that doesn't mean you're divorcing them. It just means you're moving away from that situation, and if it is if it is bad enough and I want to be called new 40s and they're going to come in there and they're going to have to deal with this and cause restraining orders, all that stuff we had to deal with those things in the past and those are those are realities because of sin in the world, but in such a case of abuse. Church discipline is enforced and laid out and but but but before I do that I would like to say this, I believe that people can change even if they've done something wrong. They violated you know become abusive in some manner. At some level, I believe that God can change them and in they can be saved or reconciled and in the nick to kick him off and on BF many months of processes, but there there needs to be is sought of reconciliation if possible. If it's safe if it's done right with with with protection and in and things in order that your rumor in the Old Testament Hagar, which was Abraham's wife and your bondage is saying and she laughed at Sarah and Sarah beat her up and she ends up leaving in God comes to her and says that you need to submit yourself back under that all end of abuse didn't continue but she went back into that situation cc reason. God sent her back into that but in such a case of abuse again. Church discipline is enforced as laid out in Matthew chapter number 18. If the person is repentant and gets right reconciliation would be worked out so so here's what this would look like if a girl came to our office and said hey and I would sit down with another counselor in the church and meet with them and she said hey or it could be so I've seen guys, there's been guys of been beat up by their Fiserv abuse in ways man so it was a devoted waste but but we would sit down and if it's grounds for safety situation. I will have enough law enforcement people even here to behave like there's of people that I would always get counsel from the figures that point we can apply some things but but there needs to be some safeguards there and I always advise get out of that situation.

If it's if it's a dangerous situation will work through that as much as possible to make that happen in and set that up. Then we would go to the guy and we would meet with them and we would deal with them because that's what churches do your to go near to the Bible says take two or three or go to them deal with them and if they won't hear you. Then it then it if if they continue to be unrepentant.

If they continue to be hardened and there said the Bible teaches, then you treat them like an unbeliever.

Then they've evidence that they're no longer safe because there unrepentant there in hardened stiffens sin in the Bible says. At that point there viewed as an unbeliever, and according to first currently in seventh. Then if they want out of the marriage than you legally a biblically can let them go in and in your divorce is valid before God, but I would say maintain the separation until repentance is found, you need to fight for their soul. You need to fight that they would get right with God.

Because if if there's been something that's happened there. Still, the parent of your children right. You want them to live for God and God can change lives but but you know what sometimes separation could take several months and he could even knowing the years, but I can tell you what happens if if he's not willing to repent, or that person is not willing to repent, will typically move on to somebody else and that's adultery and then you do have grounds again for the wars that make sense and so that's the biblical pattern. You don't just run out. They will they abuse me on divorce and noted you need to say hey let me fight for their soul like God fought for my soul. That's what were called to do is it easy God and call us to easiness. He called us to be soldiers and inward work but you have to do that alone. If you're an abusive situation need to reach out let somebody know okay now. Secondly, what if I divorce for no legitimate reason. In the past and remarriage. Should I divorce my current spouse, you need to know this very clearly illegitimate reasons for remarriage still constitute a real marriage.

God views it as a real marriage. Let me give you some verses for this. Matthew 532 Jesus says whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication because of her to commit adultery. Notice the statement and whosoever shall what's the word. This does Jesus say it's not a marriage or it is a marriage. He calls it marrying right. Jesus didn't say what they think they're married but they're really not know their married their married see it about John chapter number four.

The woman who had five husbands listen to what Jesus says here John four verse 16 Jesus say that her going call by husband become head of the woman answered and said I have no husband Jesus that under that as well so I have no husband for thou has had five guys that you thought you were married to, but you really were married to them that's already says he calls him husband Jesus all those marriages is legitimate and he whom thou hast is not by husband.

Now you're living with a guy you've been honest Jesus again refers all five is husband's also living together doesn't constitute marriage.

He says he whom you now have is not your husband will were married in the eyes of God because we love each other no no no no you can live with somebody not be married. That's called fornication and it's sinful that needs to be repented of you say well financially. It's too difficult. I would put God before my finances.

I would care if nobody agrees with me or not.

I'll preach this by myself. I why does matter to me. I really hope you but we listen uphold righteousness over financial stuff also give you one other example in Joshua chapter 9 the river when Israel went into the promised land and their conquering all these nations and they're just totally wipe these guys out.

There's a group called the Gibeonites to come to Joshua the Israelites in Joshua nine and the like me and we do with these guys wipe us out.

So let's make a covenant with Israel and with Joshua which they do, they they put themselves they feign themselves like they were real far away they clothed himself in old rags and made their auto crumbly bread and is it all we journey from 100 miles away.

It always this is a way of and they deceive them, but they came into a covenant with the nation of Israel based upon faulty statements, only that but but but the covenant was made between the nation of Israel and the Gibeonites now because since it was based upon the seats and not completely honest, does it no longer have affect when they made a covenant before God's will. In Joshua 919 six but all the princes set under the congregation.

We have sworn to them by the Lord God of Israel. Now therefore, we may not touch them. So what you find in Joshua nine is a principal that just as this covenant was binding because they made it before God. Even so, the marriage covenant is binding when made before God even if there were some faulty premise when you went into that so you need understand when you get married that marriage is a marriage before God.

That is a covenant before God when we asked insertable with a question, is the illegitimate marriage.

An act of adultery or a continual state of adultery, and expand upon this next week and not a lot of time today, but I'm a look at what Paul says about this as well, but if it were a continual state of adultery, then you would need to divorce your second spouse. But the Bible never teaches that I believe it is an adulterous act and not a perpetual state of adultery and I believe that act is forgivable as any sin is forgivable when repented of and turn to God in God's grace can cover those things. The Bible clearly says to not divorce and if you read married and divorced then you're violating the second marriage. God doesn't want you to violate that the Bible never says to do that sometimes you will say this will I struggle with guilt over my divorce even though it was on biblical grounds. What should I do first of all I want to say this, I believe divorce should grieve us there should be a brokenness in our hearts about the violation of whatever that was. That caused the covenant to be broken.

But God has not called us to be bound in grief.

And we know that because first Thessalonians 4 says that when you have a loved one who is a Christian who dies not to be overwhelmed with grief not to be controlled by grief only to grief. Yes, we are to weep with those who we mourn with those who mourn, but our life is not to be defined by grief.

The Bible says were to live with the joy of the Lord, and with the peace of God, and so God doesn't want us to stay in a state of mourning and controlled by grief. Sometimes people place on themselves.

False grief and guilt that is usually due to an error in their thinking they'll say something like this. Well, you know, I know we divorce but I feel like were still married, the eyes of God. No, you're not. You're not married in the eyes of God. Your divorce and in and I'm not trying to be insensitive on trying to been clarifying. If you divorce for legitimate reasons. Don't be bound by grief rather think God that he can bring peace in your life you can bring fulfillment in these all you need, just as you're not bound not to be bound by the controlling grief to a lost loved one or not to be bound by the controlling grief of a lost spouse. The last question we wrap up, can God still use my life I've been divorced I would remind you, God, was divorced would remind you that King David committed adultery.

God could've saluted David on the spot, but he was merciful Abraham his marital situation was a mess. God in Christ in John four came to cite Carl city of Samaria and he chose to come to a woman at a well been married five times. Her life was upside down relationally and Jesus brought her into relation to himself in salvation and chose to use her to be a mouthpiece to evangelize the city talk about Grace friends, can God still use my life after I've been divorced, you better believe see some of the great godly men and women in our church that God used to reach people to teach God's word.

They been perfect as a been like everybody listen you've been divorced or not a second-class citizen in the kingdom of heaven.

And you're not a second-class member of lighthouse Baptist Church everybody has sinned, and that sin is under the grace of God, and we hold hands together and rejoice in that a man you have questions about marriage remarriage.

I would like to say to someone to preach on some extended things about this next week. Feel free to email me this week.

All you respond your email address that in the message. Next week, next week on the look what Paul says about marriage and divorce. I want to show you some things about the Romans in Greek culture and you I think some you will be surprised about how how it was. Sometimes we look at America, but I can tell you is bad and that they would talk like the Jewish model in the what was going on there. Also want to give you several keys to finding the right spouse and I think that's important so maybe some you guys are single ominous share with you some things.

I think that beautifying and so as I close, listen, marriage the big deal to God.

We need to uphold it. We can never say hey, get a divorce just just get rid of him and your heart should be broken.

You say you know what we need to pray that their life will be changed and if infinite so dangerous. And that's what you need to separate from that situation. We say this. You also you better never violate somebody's marriage every better never violate somebody's marriage.

Don't be going there: somebody into adultery say were not physically do anything well if you're causing some external internal temptations there with that guy or girl, you need to turn that thing off. Need to leave that job leave that location. Leave that place.

Whatever else you need to know that Jesus said it would be better for you to remove your hand or your eye in the brain that situation into adultery. That's how serious it is, it's a big deal to God. He is not joking around about this situation I would say some the purities of big deal to God and we need to elevate that nobody in the world going to say what I just said on TV his or her Fox News on MSNBC and I don't say keep your marriage pure right be pure every everything you see on TV these days is I mean it's it's people living in whatever promiscuity nobody manages sexual wickedness everywhere. That's called us the much more I can tell you after 20 years of marriage.

It is the best thing.

Marriage is fantastic. It's all stand this morning with heads bowed and eyes closed and maybe today you just want to come and recommit your vows to God and say God I want to want to pray that you would just continue to protect our marriage protect our home. Maybe you and pray for your kids, grandkids, maybe because put a burden on your heart. I encourage you to come. You're welcome to do that will be investing in the marriages of our church much more this year the coming years and in that we have some different marriage things were to be doing to really invest in the marriages were so excited about that. If you're here today you say I don't know if I died today I'd be in heaven. I'm not sure than Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior Christ Jesus. I don't know if Evans model to be down front. We have other men and women don't find what you come to trust in Christ as your Savior during your life over to him today spend time with your wife spent time with your challenges dancing right with God, we thank you for your work today. Some couples today.

I'm sure I don't lose it when Lehman maybe have some burdens in there anymore. Maybe has risen situation numbering for healing spring we would turn your worm, your knees and virtually pray for anyone in the same trust in Jesus Christ as Lord and see numbering sending reconciled reconciliation work for your glory and Jesus