Kingdom Pursuits - A Father & His Prodigal

This is the Truth Network kingdom pursuits where you hear from ordinary people instilled with an extraordinary passion together we explore the stories of men and women who take what they love and let God turn their passion into the kingdom pursuits now live from the truth. Your host Robbie Gilmore more than thrilled that I get to have my good friend James Banks, the host of encouraging prayer with us today and not only him but for the first time ever actually get to talk to his son Jeffrey so we got James and Jeffrey Banks and they have a new book out. It's called hope lies ahead in James you know Jeffrey has everything to do it. Almost all the books that you've read written right behind their other vital part of my life for a long time so you all may know James is the author of prayers for product calls and you might guess Jeffrey is that product also welcome Jeffrey I would call me lucky out there. There were not revoked or so their book that they co-authored which really is is is is unbelievable really talking about that today it's called hope lies ahead. But I was thinking about it. James you guys missed the boat.

I mean, there would've been a great title like saving Mr. Banks if you thought about the world just a couple of months ago Mary Poppins bearing. Of course we went up and gave her our regards to the family suggest as you face at your whole life. See you then.

One of the banks that if you face that your whole life that you been one of the banks for Mary Poppins and all the time so I wonder how I got this but you know we got a DR little so I was thinking that my case my prodigal hands to love cats, so speaking of cats right.

She thought about this. This is all a natural the silent chat sort of a victim of purse snatching and only in the camp and swallowed it right. It was not only down in the mouth. It was a duck filled candy plus I don't think That had the hairball well. She just couldn't hack it. We got came from. You just have to punish you, the old cat became forgetful and stop making any sounds about that when the thing that I can. I can think what is it she developed a personality disorder person is That winter I really like this is cute. She said me how all you gotta be careful around you know reactivity with the cat because they get 18 half-lives And enjoyed breakfast bird was shredded wheat speaking. I guess Max is that Max is at your neck like I love you if you do this when Bethann but the fast cat. She put same data. Try to find out why humans forgot to place The litter box and everything to go. This is really cute the cat.

He married a tree. They had catalogued and the woman he refused to spay and neuter her cats.

She was arrested for kitty litter and the whole Kindle of cats they were named Jonathan Christian Wilhelm Friedman Johan Sebastian Carl Philip and Emmanuel.

They were all born in litter box litter box litter box 6 to finish up and I know you're wondering Robbie, what was the unemployed cat burglar from Nepal. What else but Kathmandu Kathmandu so I know it was just punishing get through that.

But I had so much fun doing it. James is a great way to set up your book that people are crazy and there you go. After all that I had, after all that you look about life and about a challenge that many families have so many have wrestled with God opiate addiction and someone that they love and their family has gone through this and we found that God was there to help us weather the storm, but it was a storm nonetheless. And the book is about lessons we all learned along the way, not just Jeff. Certainly I learned so many and in God's goodness to meet us in unexpected places really let me just say I've read this book consists I would say that this should be absolutely required reading for every parent gave me such insight.

Jeffrey you are so transparent in some of things that were going on but the thing that just literally unite here you are.

You are the son of a preacher writer, pastor, PK, or whatever they say. You know, and yet you had a fascination with drugs. I guess that was in and that was what it appeared that as I read the story so much of the motivation had really nothing to do, like running away from God.

I just wanted to travel this particular road, and that was a road that you felt like your pole to you. I think you allow it welded about the journey I went on a journey that everybody goes on in a way shape or form that I was looking for something that would gratify me and give me an identity and and make me feel okay you know and looking in all the wrong place.

Everybody can relate.

Searching for thing, but you don't know where to find it whenever really the only thing that you and James the part that I thought was fascinating was there, you were struggling struggling struggling, thinking it was something that you had done or not done right you know the parents brought through a lot of guilt a lot of difficulty and you know course you can always look at yourself and in hindsight is 2020 but the truth is, as a friend told me once kids make their own choices and because of that, you know you're trying to find your way through this very dark place and you know it's it's just you have to avoid putting blame on someone and also exonerating yourself so you can see we are loaded for bear and cats today on kingdom pursuits and you might've guessed it. I absolutely forgot to write my Ritalin that surround the whole thing was so much more.

Hope lies in well you have got your I been listening like honor, we have unbelievable honor. Here you have James Banks. He's the pastor of peace church in Durham. He was a pastor when stuff was going on with his son. So all my goodness you can imagine your sons a heroin addict and you're the pastor of the church and now what is that look like and we have the transparency of what that work look like in James's life, and then the transparency of Jeffrey actually sharing with us his story from his perspective how he went from this opioid addict to a new creature in Christ and actually is on staff at a church now in Wilmington so you we get we get to hear all that.

But at the same time. What I'm sure Satan meant for evil God was meant for good for both men.

Specifically, James. This put you into a prayer relationship which is drastically changed your life right yeah it really has you know.

And certainly that wasn't just Jeff and his sister had a role in you, find you, you get to the point where you can't you can't change someone's heart and you realize God alone can do that and he alone can reach inside and you know get through to someone where our efforts fail where our love fails is, doesn't nonsense absent with insulin. This is a step-by-step story as you go through this.

James writes in chapter then Jeffrey writes a chapter in James write a chapter in and you get a view of what was going on at this time from Jeffrey's point of view. What was going on with James at this point in time again realize he's a pastor of a church.

All this is going on shenanigans. I mean, oh my goodness. And then what Jeffries after actually experiencing and so beautifully written, Jeffrey of my care. I am in college and this is how I end up getting back where I was and all those kind of things as you are writing all that I'm I'm just interested in the thought process of what where God was taking you to to recall what might be of value in this book across the kind of find and honestly remember a lot of that, you know, I was able to recall a lot of people from… Talk to you in a while and began to recount the timeline and also there's a lot of healing and forgiveness from people that died around in the past and united the process of going to just like really digging up a lot of my topic walking through the time very difficult to go back to that place in my head mindset that emotional spiritual darkness and kind of remember what it was like to be read at prospect God was.

It was really healing me and in helping me revisit it in a positive light and see you know where I felt like it was all darkness and there is nothing good happening. I could see now where where God was right there the whole time.

That brings up another question since I've read the books is that that there was this girl you know my heart was breaking for this girl that trusted you and trusted you and did you actually speak to her in in at any point is you are recalling some of the stuff that went on with Turkish demands. She got hammered yeah yeah I did and I was probably one of the unit would ever think about the things that I did not try one thing that I regret most with what my relationship with her and I think that I put her through. But what's really cool and I can't remember if I did this in the book or not, but now she is a substance abuse counselor in Louisiana.

God used you know that whole relationship and you know, we believe the book up with the pain there but got ended up using it to coming got her to this career. Now she helps others to work like me that's critical. So, inquiring minds want to know so can you really recall, how that conversation went like hi this is Jeffrey I that we hadn't talked since like oh my God, yeah. So we we kept in touch here and there along the way she was there whenever I went went to rehab for the last time and she she really can have a grasp on she didn't hate me over it. We kept in touch a little bit along the way, I reached out to reach out her wasn't totally out of the blue but yeah I I'm trying to remember something that happened and you know iPod every I swear every time a doctor. I apologize profusely, and she's like no it's fine you work. I forgiven you on disgrace and you know, pretty cool and to reach out your hand and have a conversation while James is your in the same boat right the time that they're trying to recall some situations there that perhaps you know forgiveness was needed was some of the people in your world at that time to write, you know, I think of people. One of the people who comes into the book in an interesting way is one of Jeff's former principles and I can think of some hard conversations there where at times when you're the parent of the product we feel like no one understands and and you feel like you being judged by everyone. And honestly, if you have not had a prodigal of your own, or if you had not been one you cannot understand really you know you you can't put yourself in the shoes of someone going on because the someone is going through that because there are so many different things that you're struggling with on so many different levels. As I mentioned earlier enough self-condemnation and then the judgment sometimes of others and I think at times I can read in judgment where it wasn't there and I think I did that to my conversations with with this man. Toward the end of the book.

One of the things he said.

I ran into him in Cosco. You know how that is for him to see someone in the store and that's how it had been with him for some time, but this time I saw him and II pushed my cart toward him that I wanted to tell them about the difference God made in Jeffrey's life and the man to become an after we had this conversation it looked again. He said you know, one of the things I've learned over the years in my work as a principal is never freeze a kid in time and was such a good thing course admitted to the book about it, there was a lot of grace there as well and the other thing I think is you know Jeffrey I can see where your dad was being distracted by Satan like this is all your fault.

This is you blown this you you can see all those attacks coming I can sure feel them because I felt them where did you feel like you're attacks were coming from. At the time that you are really at the low point you really kind of things going on and one was kind of attack on my identity. Like I was being told that you are always going to be, you know, maybe you can get. But probably not. And this is just like her to lift her left eye and I had got like running my unit wrecked my self-worth on your part and then the other side of that was the other packet is experiencing wise seeing it was kind of slander of Jesus because I was I was Jesus and his people are all just religious like they just care about law.

They just want you to follow the rules like I don't even understand the truth like they don't really see what's going on here and you know I thought that if I was that followed Jesus. I had like you to be a Bible thumper and tucking my sure and stop having find and all the things that they would like to start to wear to tackle myself a news attack on on my view of Scripture and Jesus and the church and all these things well now that makes perfect sense and is trying to get you to go with these two different things in both both of them on stealing your image of Christ and stealing your image of yourself. I mean that that's amazing the book are intertwined. You know what, wow, that was probably like that for all of us as I sit there and analyze sounds awfully familiar.

Now that I'm thinking about it.

The book called hope lies ahead. And it is out on Amazon already. In fact, if you go to kingdom pursuits. You can just click) order the book.

As I understand James right. We now have an audio version that was released two days ago. That's right, that's right.

Thank you for mentioning that it just came out and yeah it's hope lies ahead.

Again, you find it on Amazon and go to kingdom pursuits.com and get it. This book let me just tell you that it is just beautiful example to people telling you what they really experienced, and how God is the hero of the story you don't you wonder who the here on this particular story is that maintenance Jeffrey and and James, a wonderful man obviously but you can tell that that Jesus came to the rescue as they both began to actually dive into him in prayer is such a significant part of this that the fruit of that was James's book prayer for particles which is again a huge bestseller and then you've got peripheral product are you, you can list the books. James go ahead if you right after that first for your children book of prayers for you know, blessing kids with passages of Scripture can bring the prayers of the Bible verse in the Bible every day need praying together as I got when so we have so much more coming up with James and Jeffrey stayed to leave all this happened here we are beyond nonurban excited to have James and Jeffrey. Thanks, hope lies ahead now available on Amazon and as always I would be altered. Love love love it when you go back and you you know, write the book, given our many stars tell him what you liked about it don't you don't like about it. People love feedback. I can tell you and just mean so much to authors when when you do that and then it gives other people an idea of what they can find.

Because believe me when I tell you that when you every parent should read this book is such a picture of how Satan uses the distraction of this is all my fault and I blew it and all that stuff to get between you and Christ because it all has to do with our relationship and in its amazing how they weave this book to be able to bring Matt but James, I know, could you share with our listeners. The there's a chapter in this book that I know you're just that I am for people to get to the one that you can hardly wait till they read this chapter, and I know you even like the title of the chapter saw what you say.

What chapter you it's the one that you told me I managed tell me three times. Wait till you get to this chapter and I'm trying to member myself. The title of chapter and I thought I had the book in front of me but I don't and so I kind of stuck Hollow squandered near Angel: that's the one squandered near Angel yeah yeah that particular chapter was one that before I wrote the book when I told Carrie that my wife carried God had blessed us with this opportunity to write the book together in our publisher given us the go-ahead different sort of book and the fact that they did.

That was it was a great thing and that one of the first thing she said is be sure you put this in and what she was talking about was what happened one night when she was driving back but all old get to that in a minute. What that particular chapter is about much of it happened to the city where Jeff lives today and where he is in our youth pastor the church today and it's an amazing thing to me that you think about that sometimes people who struggle with addiction. Think well if only I have a change of scene, then all be better will hear Jeff is ministering to. You know two people in the same city where he wants abuse drugs and what happened was that he had been living with her sister he got kicked out re-happened. Then there was a difficulty in their relationship where she kicked him out in in one day and basically what happens is, my wife goes down. I have some going on during that day and she goes down to Wilmington to pick him up and finally gets hold of him and he's you know he's been doing drugs that day and he is just passed out in the seat beside her pernicious collapse like a Marine addressing the book she's driving back to Durham and it's late. She's heartbroken and she's basically saying you know, how could it come to this house. How could this way that I love so much so much going for him in so many ways have you know how could this happen and credit she's driving you know me and your car guy. I love these old Mercedes diesels in an old old loud Mercedes diesel. She's driving back and all of a sudden she turns off of I 4147 and she's praying, she's just crying out to God and the car gets required. It gets so quiet that she's sort of weight what's happening and she starts to look and at either corner of the car she sees something and and this is going on from when she turns off of 147 until she just about exits on Hillandale Rd. in Durham, so you know that a 2020 mile stretch were so and what she sees are angels and their actually carrying the car and the incredible thing about the story she gets home and she tells me about it and I'm sort of like well okay yeah and I'm taken, you know, well I pastor that I don't get to see you every time she tells the story she could spears it arrived, because she knows what God did that night and she saw these four beings larger than a man.

They were stern looking but but she was not afraid of them and you think what Scripture says angels are ministering spirits sent to those who will inherit salvation and the they carried her through that time where she was just heartbroken in the car and got her home safely. Got Jeff home safely and it's an amazing story and it it's not just a story.

It's true it really happened in the thing is that again you know is I'm telling her what to write this book. The first thing she said, be sure. Be sure you put in. Jeffrey obviously you were in the car at the time, but from what your dad told me your mom's not the time to even bring up stuff like that. So the fact that she made this reference is kind of astounding. Yeah, yeah, she's not one I pay over spiritual life, or even make up the greater story for her to be the one that thought.

I kind of wish I was awake. I don't blame you. So is there a chapter in the book Jeffrey that's like that for you like man I can hardly wait until the people read this chapter, you know, probably the big moment for me, this experience I had at a treatment center in Nashville and my Outlook to national furlough, but not on the bike, but I went to treatment there for I don't like that I am very, my parents had given me this book on Easter like 2012. Maybe, and it was God's promises. Everyday needs and enough on this book that like is basically like a Scripture reference like a black versus true when you're feeling lonely or sad or depressed or whatever and I was in treatment of detoxing. I was super sick and I and I was walking I can sleep at night you and your mouth walking around the street and had this small little chapel on the campus there and I went into it now just sitting there not really like me, and I believe in God. At time or do a lot of praying anything like that.

I had the book with me and and I was just so sick and really suffering, and opening up there that versus ruin your suffering and I flipped to it and I read Isaiah 43 to when you capitalize Audi with you after the flame shall not drive the Lord your God and I just realized that was the first time that was the first time I remember my life. I was like God speaking to me and be like hey I know you know you really believe me right now. I know you don't care about me but I didn't and you have been here the whole time and that moment for me would we really didn't and my diction) and walk out of rehab great forever after that. But now you and I was wow wow only got one little segment.

More coming up to hear more from Jeffrey and James. The book is called hope lies ahead is available to him since he got Amazon and it was hope lies ahead. We got one more wonderful segment number that really and uses it to build the kingdom, and all my goodness is God. The thanks, his passion for and continues to bear fruit. If you ever have a chance go to peace church to remarry to find the whole congregation that is praying for probables particles from all over the world send in their prayer requests James church they put them on the wall up there that the ministry goes on and on because you know is what God did through this one miraculous event is just, you know what Satan meant for evil God is used for good in so many amazing different ways, and as we talked about Jeffrey is now youth pastor in Wilmington and so Jeffrey I can't help but asked man I may marry are your youth pastor in Wilmington you see a kid and you can tell. Oh my goodness that's me know. 20 years ago or whatever. What do you say to that kid I have that experience quite a bit stand yeah and I made it I try to keep in front of you should maintain a relationship with them and letting know that you know that they can be honest with me and that I did it and I've been there before and am always there for me no matter what they do because I just you know directing back to being a teenager I wish I had an adult you know the what my parents that I could talk to and be really be honest with incarnate your honest feedback from anti-just try to be that person for other people and and I try not to do. You know I get a lot of luck, you fear tactics like you never going to amount to anything or that I do that and whenever I was in their shoes. It really just beat me down so I don't do that you not try to point them in the other direction is probably some better things that you want in your life. But regardless what you doing here for you and I care about you and leveraging that relationship really pointing towards Jesus in the long run on the go and James you know that's that's amazing stuff, Jeffrey. That's the like you just brought back the book to me like what happened in the book chains you know it seems like a short process.

Jeffrey was into this and now he's not, but all my gosh this was years and years and years and years and struggle of you guys leaving the door open. If you keep in a relationship there with your child what what what you reflect to people that are struggling along those lines let you know a couple of things come to mind. One is sick town. I look at ways that I was angry and judgmental when Jeff got into this and I think that he would listen to me more, he would've heard, perhaps more. With regard to my fate. In times when I had just been dad and I had just been trying to fix him men and you know the elephant in the room addressing that all the time if I just got out and throw the ball with the work you know taking an interest in something that was of interest to him in and set that desired asked him aside and work on our relationship. I think that I would've gotten much farther in in talking about, you know are our faith and the other thing I mentioned is Jeff said earlier with regard to how he had always thought well you're an addict you know that's that's what you to be.

I was surprised by what God had done their and and this is that I mention this because it's so important for parents or anyone who loves a prodigal, not not to sell short what God can do on our faith. This is limited, but he truly is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.

And you know that's a huge license for me – the transformation got his maiden just like this is breathtaking and there was part of me that didn't expect to see that coming for decades and you know he really is and he's been clean over seven years and God has done this beautiful work and that you don't course required a lot of hard work on Jeff's part as well. But in the end it is the grace of God brought them there and parents need to know that you know when you love a prodigal, you need to know genuinely changed really is possible by the grace of God, love with the principal said that this not frozen in time and in Jeffrey for use this for since it was not a momentary you know, the book makes it seem like all this happened in a matter of weeks or something, but this was a long, long, hard struggle and yeah yeah you here somewhere on their downright yes seven years. I think you are in and out of rehab. What 11 times is that right.

At least we could count and timely. Whenever I even whenever I think about it. I feel like a short it was that it was such a long felt like felt like a lifetime. Whenever we are, Nebuchadnezzar was eating grass.

I think this is his hope lies ahead kingdom Versace.com you can find your hope lies ahead or go to Amazon. What is amazing, amazing guys, thank you so much for you and where this Jeffrey.

I'm so glad I finally get to talk to you about you for years and years and years of the great work Holly God states him because guess what, encouraging prayer with James Banks is coming on second stay tuned for that, followed by Matt so much.

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