Conflict & Resolution!

Role here when you train one pastor and some donor friends are standing by to train a second call 833-443-5467 or go online and train a pastor.com. Every gift counts and now every gift is double training pastor.com hey this is Mike Swick from if not for God podcast our show stories of hopelessness turned and I hope your chosen Truth Network podcast is starting in just seconds. Enjoy it, share it, but most of all, thank you for listening and for choosing The Truth Podcast Network. This is the Truth Network.

Once a world champion wrestler, now a champion for Christ.

Once the washing night. Now the devil's worst nightmare in your tagteam partner cheetah call time. Welcome back to it's time to man up to cool off no longer the Russian it well I guess I am still the Russian number but more the devil's nightmare and special in studio interview today with her dear friend, we're just discussing before coming on air just how long ago we met. I guess about 14 years and so Chad slot Maisie story Chad welcome to the show.

Nikita thanks so much is so great to see you.

It's amazing how you look like I haven't yet. So you just yesterday you look great. I previously told me earlier shall they go you have any wrinkles your household. What's up with that I go just give the Lord credit and say good clean living so right working out good clean live and work it out quickly limited.

Yeah, I try to take care of myself but for the most credit because I like especially rusty principal is to look the same, like a couple little gray hairs mixed in the on the Fu Manchu there but you know so I appreciate imitation is going to be about. It's great to have you here, you got such a really for me a fascinating story.

I think it's perfect for the show so we go back I think was a 2007, right when we first met and you came to my home church of the refuge pastor Jace to have him on the show in the past. Okay you came in on staff you will bill you moved out from where I we were living in Michigan at the time. That's right, that our dining. I have been a longtime Wolverine fan.

Okay, I lighting the 10th. I've lived in so I've seen just like a lot of the country led to different places but grew up a Michigan Wolverine fan of all things well and I grew up in the Big Ten territory as well so I have to say I am a gopher fan but hold out against him but but 10 states, 10 states sought of the 10 states that you've lived. Which of those 10 was your favorite to live honestly it is it's North Carolina and you probably site you probably expect me to say that but really after having lived in a lot of different climates met a lot of different people and truly are. We have the greatest country in this is just I forgot fiction greatest country on the face of the earth and I met some amazing people some amazing Americans living in North Carolina and seen what God is doing here and really the emphasis right now on North Carolina nationally for and in a lot of ways and kind and how pivotal North Carolina is on the national scene. We have an opportunity to reflect well for for the Lord and to make a difference in a in a very important place.

Yeah, now I will like this is the three history states I would if I forgot I spent a couple years and in the Nashville Tennessee area, but predominantly up in Moscow Minnesota. And for all you, there is no Moscow there are people looking up on a map right now.

Moscow, Minnesota, preacher guy live Eli up but I did grow up in Minnesota disorder but I looked in the Carolinas longer than anywhere else. Also, like I qualify myself as a native Carolinian I think so were raising our three beautiful children here. They love it here.

My Wyche in the New York area after he loves it here.

So North Carolina is home so so you don't just take us to committed tells about your beautiful family well have been married for it will be 23 years. This year lost feels like it's gone by so quickly, and our three kids 16, 14 and 12, two girls and a boy and just so proud of them, seeing how engaged they are with the Lord prepping a primarily which is opposite the most important but also with again.

What's was transpiring in internation preparing themselves for leadership and to be citizens and to make a difference for the Lord in whatever area God calls them into my oldest wants to be a veterinarian.

So she's earned a job actually really neat story. It's a quick one but she wanted to learn more about being a veterinarian and this is something the key that I don't know if nationwide. If this is still being taught. I hope that it is, but she wanted to is to start shadowing event so she had a connection and went in and started just observing apprenticeship almost like that in and I said to her, since we are just start doing the dirty work show up early stay late clean up do the things no one else wants to do and and I believe good things will happen. So she starts doing that and that events is will he want. If you'd like to come in more often and observe. Would love to have you and I said okay now you need to get yourself a set of scrubs because you dress for the job that you want your address for the job that you have so look the part. The women there continue to do the hard work and pretty soon, as a matter fact was about six months ago.

The vet looked at her and said hey you been doing such a tremendous job. I want to bring Jan start paying you to do all that you've been doing for free Thomas of the first job that she had. She earned I didn't give it to her. I didn't get a Forshee trusted in in the passions. The got a put on her heart. She did the godly things served in God's order for it, so I'm super proud of her. Our middle daughter wants to be in the space program at some point she has great dreams to the scholar's yard of a 0 g long must I we have watched more launches more rockets in the last six months is been great and having fun, coach of my son in basketball and hang out with him and just habitable. That's awesome will beautiful family not surprised in 1614 12 with did you plan to tell her. Zafar just happened got a plant yesterday. Yeah that's right okay well it is you got the refuge of 2007 you're on staff.

We made it. I just felt an instant connection with you absolutely have done things together ministry wise, oh, over the years and and I know that was I think I could say great experience for you and under pastor Jace too little aswonderful event was on your heart to go to go to carry North Carolina and in plant a church in so you you did that we did. Yet in in 2007 we came to refuge. One of the things that I share with pastor Jay wishes some your future dreams and thoughts and said hey you, you're my pastor and I trust you to hear from the Lord.

And when it's God's time and you're in agreement that will step out and go for it and so we serve did the best that we could and that made so many great friends. It was really hard for us to to leave the refuge and especially friends like you and and I just enjoy those relationships but he did pastor Jay blessed us and that we had the opportunity to go to carry really a place that is. And in this is this is true I think of all cities have an interesting conversation that we could have at some point that the fight the spiritual fight in the spiritual battle right now that we see over cities in the cities. Our seats of authority.

Seats are places where culture is promulgated where where people interact and you can see nationally the spiritual battle over urban centers in particular in suburban centers and so I fully God planted us and carry really in the center of the triangle three urban centers an opportunity to influence a lot of folks and I don't know that I'd recommend anyone else. I do this, but we moved and moved her family rented a house and literally we didn't even know where the park was with ER. The idea for our first outreach. We were gonna go door to door and invite folks to come without get down to the park and let's pass out some water bottles, and some balloons to some kids off.

We can so we show up. It was the weekend before Easter. In 2010 we had rented this big helium tanks were death park and it was freezing cold that Worley was one of those late cold spikes so nobody was thirsty. They didn't want any of her water bottle would inflate these balloons for the kids and they were shrinking as fast as we could inflate them because they early and kept condensing it was the funniest thing but we went door-to-door and just had a great group of folks with us and I'll never forget the first single mom and her daughter.

They came to a meeting, we are holding at a local hotel and they were the only ones that showed up that night we had a small group of people that were working with us and God reminded us how important it is to love every individual person.

You will see people as commodities we don't see them as opportunities. We don't look at relationships as transactional we see people for who they are in their humanity and their story and I remember very well, and her daughter and she is the opportunity to reach them. Make a difference in their lives and in over a seven-year period. God built beautiful small congregation in carry the Illinois visit a few times spoke a few times for you and it was just blessed every time I was there and just a part of that ministry what you were doing God and in you transition daughter that I want to get to that. It is just a couple of minutes about you transition from that out into the marketplace.

Currently, yes, but will will hold off on that for just a minute before Kim on air you were talking about where just talk about the church as a whole and and conflict and conflict resolution and and you are you are showing me that you just finished a dissertation or something. Yes, like you, not just a really love learning enjoyed in pursuit a lot of education can over my my career and just finished a Dr. to ministry in 2020. And of course you're required to choose a topic to write off your dissertation and I have to say Nikita that as I look back on my leadership as a pastor, probably the area that was the weakest as I would evaluate myself and I think it's what's wised to do.

That was my ability to handle conflict and to address things that that needed to be addressed. And so, as I had this opportunity in this doctoral program. I decided to redeem what was the weakest area and try to make myself as much of an expert in that area as I possibly could so studied the opposite beginning with God's word, studying his word and then what others have written on the topic and discovered in research that I did and some surveying that that most a a a vast majority of church leaders in particular whether either paid or volunteer have had 00 training in conflict resolution walk and and it's not just because it's the church is because were human beings with sinful hearts there's going to be conflict. There's going to Bryce agreement and I've sat down with folks.

Interestingly, a group of guys. I exercise with an and a friend said to me, and I have this body and in his marriage is really challenged and things are going well with his marriage.

I so why don't you what you do body hiking sit down and talk with God. He said he said Nyack I could never do that. You I can never risk the relationship. What if I you. What if I made a matter what if I offended I was. I'm just gonna kinda stay out of it does not want to lose a friend and I realized in that moment and others as our research that that addressing conflict in and being 100% honest while being 100% respectful is a skill set that everybody can learn and pastors and leaders in particular need to learn that because how can as as you and I are brothers and and you call things out of my life before which I've appreciated. It's it's I would history of doing that yeah yeah others have told me your you're willing to do that your that's a boldness that which is great but not everybody has that personality right and a lot of people shrink back there.

90% honest in a relationship are 95% honest in a particular interaction, but they leave something unsaid that needs to be said that if it were would strengthen the relationship and it's that anticipation of losing a friend that lack of confidence in the skills that that you have is an individual right to cause people to shy away from that. So we created a conflict resolution training program that we've begun to present in churches and would love the opportunity to share that with a lot of others of pasta yellow will make sure of the woman sure, but the end of the show. People know how to get in touch with you and and can reach out to all the all Russian nightmare here for crescent automotive buying a car is a nightmare for you, my friend Ryan and Jimmy Johnson. At present, automotive make it simple to find your preowned dream are, no hassle, she will place no matter where you can bring your baby crescent.com is all you know is right there with right place everybody drives aggressive. You should drive crescent.com we show appreciate our listeners if you will support this program with a financial gift of any amount. I will send you a personalized copy of my latest book Nikita tail of the ring go to call off.that's cool off.and the ED goal of.net and make your contribution. You are reminded of two Scriptures and you saying that a one about me holding you accountable and vice versa. Proverbs 2717. Some are probably familiar with as iron sharpens iron.

Yes, so one man your one person sharpens the countenance of the other. Yes is a countenance of of their friend.

What translation you're looking at what the other one back to the guy you're referring to is like just want to maintain a friendship wall marriage Bible because there's another proverb comes demises open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed yes.

So he said wow I was one maintain the love there will is a really truly genuine love is if you genuinely love them. I find then you're willing to openly rebuke them in love and love is a love you in a loving way, even if it might cost to the friendship or maybe only temporarily that the person that from a comeback. Much later go math. Thank you. Yeah I did appreciate at the time and you did not make me happy when you did the right. What it really helped me grow as a person and so you're right. Why commend you for putting that together and I'm with the man more people if they can learn that skill set and how to handle conflict in and out of the church right and you can model it for others, especially to you church leaders again pain or volunteer at if they can develop those skills and then model them well. It is not just a matter of keeping unity in a particular local church or being successful organizationally in a marriage or what was there you go. That's exactly right were talking marriages were talking friendships were talking discipleship between brothers. We've all had that that that brother that we we were in an and accountability relationship with someone and that you you just knew there was something there that you needed to call out but didn't know how to do it and and that's a responsibility that we have you. You mentioned that Scripture by ironing sharpening iron will.

Every time I've seen iron sharpening iron there's always been spark some friction, little friction sparks and we shy away from that so much and I wish we wouldn't and I wish we would man up in us in the sense of being willing to step up in and say what needs to be said, well hence, hence the name of the show the man up the matter is always yeah it's time to man up. Although we have a lot of baby listeners and you ladies out there. Thank you for tuning in dialing in to hear what men are talking about audio. Although I do have ladies for God a time where women on the show as well will that's that's amazing that in any other other thoughts on that aspect of the ministry aspect or the. The resolution aspect.

I just would say in its two leaders men and women as you just were saying there is something to be said for evaluating your leadership in evaluating your your skills finding the weakest area and being willing to address that in that it does take a lot of courage and I am not saying that's it to point myself as being courageous but it takes God courage and God confidence in him and in the Holy Spirit's ability to redeem those areas and strengthen them, but when you do all my goodness the impact because you're willing then and an able and this is what I and when I teach the program I always begin just confessing some of the challenges that we walk through and there were many personal experiences that the personal experiences of failure say I am not coming at this as an expert, but one who has learned through my own pain right how important it is to have those skills as men would get another great point and it I just recently did marketplace workshop for friend of mine Jeffrey get them or in some highly successful 2530 highly successful entrepreneurs mold country and I basically approached it opened up with.

Hey I'm not coming to you today with with information from very audible book. Although I've read a lot of books. This is from personal experience right to share with you today. I found out that that is what one of the best best approaches and so while I commend you that an and I would just say for the record for all of our listeners out there and I mean this one says you your great leader. So anyone who jumps in on that program that your offering news is good to be blessed, for sure.

Thank you. Know if they become a part of that. Whether your whether a pastor or church leader or just you need need help with a relation about their life.

Certainly what you're going to teach is going to be invaluable… Let's all let's transition the candidate in our remaining minutes here to to you. You really stepped out of the ministry. I know you are you are sure will be on the phone up your you have family you have a family owned business.

I family run business beyond which by the way the story about your daughter just remarkable. I just want to say the that that young people listen to the listener what he said earlier or parents listen to what he said earlier about about what his daughter walk through ON." I think you've model that for her and all of your children, but your family run business as you stepped away from ministry to to take over the family business to take a minute and tell us about that transition. Yeah thank you yeah we my dad in 1999 secured intellectual property on an annual know what I'm talking about on in the middle of a keyboard on a laptop computer, a a Dell or Toshiba and HP computer. There is a little mouse in the middle of the keyboard got a TrackPoint mouse and on. There is a little rubber And since 1999. Our families owned that patent rights and a manufactured those little rubber caps well for just about every big major manufacturer of laptop computers. It's been an incredible God story were 100% United States based all of our sourcing is here in the United States and we export overseas and just it's been a thrill to see how the business has been able to invest in ministry and contribute dramatically in the planting of our church and in other endeavors, but says so for for many years. My dad rented and and he just was such a great leader. My dad one thing I'd say about him is talk about them in the past tense and knowledgeably wine a moment, but he was always willing to learn if you didn't know something, he would he would research it and learn it and out work you you know it just was cut. How we did and that's how we built an incredible business.

Unfortunately, in 2016 we learned that he had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and so you know when he was diagnosed, I don't have any brothers and sisters, and as I prayed it through.

The only right decision and that moment for me was to step away from ministry into carry-on. The legacy that he had built and take care my mom the best that I could and so we have a great relationship with a wonderful church in Durham called Kings Park International Church Pastor Ron Lewis not Pastor Reggie Roberson's therein.

They were kind enough to welcome the members of our congregation that would wanted to go over there and so we can emerged in with them and I got nine wonderful months working day in and day out with my dad on the business before he passed in 2018 at at which time I took over as CEO of our company but am honored to run today so well and ended the says shot at me Utah and I said to people all the times fact that you're not stand on the platform on Sunday preaching from the pulpit does mean you don't have a ministry that's everywhere were all all all those who are Christ's followers have the ministry of reconciliation. If yes if that if nothing out of if no other ministry you have that it's there for. For those who are on the marketplace which you now are mean that in itself again this is a harvest field. I mean it's it's a ministry out there and so I know I just on your based in your ethics and integrity how you're running the company and in landlord's hand on Howard's prospering companies's soft produce a few of the company's is actually we we use G, IV, LLC, which is science for God inspired ventures okay and do our main. Our main product is called a soft point and so we got have we have a unique corporate structure that way in and out but it was it was always something we wanted to give honor to the Lord and and and refer it to as that in the G IV side got polka, giving honor and glory to God for all the and and and and speak with ministry just looking at my notes here because I'm seeing slot of global ministries so words at the house at time yet we we run a small foundation offer for a number of years Leah and I and we have an incredible Board of Directors.

That's that had been with us since 2004. Just amazing leaders, amazing folks, and so for many years here that as we were kind of building we were asking God you what you what you doing with this foundation that that you called us to to start and it was wonderful because we want to plant our church that the foundation was able to so a tremendous amount of of capital and resources out of the we are able to bring on some staff and and really can hit the ground running financially in ways that you might otherwise not been able to do and now were using that platform to just to reach directly into lies. Last year I just was looking at our numbers and Lasher. We gave away almost $75,000 in grants directly to ministries and needs were able to send a $15,000 gift. In particular, to send one family to South Africa that I wish that that they could hear the eight they moved talk about courage. Talk about the other man up shell and manning up a mean of father and mother and their three sons leaving all that they knew here to go to South Africa to to lead young people to Christ. Just incredible stories and is just an honor to be a part of that well what we think. You think they can hear this. If you haven't have a motive they have the technology help download the truth radio I'll will you bed well for all of the listeners out there as you're listening to Chad stories he shares just I feel you would probably sense where his heart sat in it because you're all about people and whether your stand on the platform or your out of the marketplace. Now if you are you running the company.

I know you're all about people together that even from your story about your daughter and just your family and guests and and what you do as a global mission any other final thoughts share that you would want to share for our listeners. A last thought on on the can be administered.

The computer marketplace. They can be conflict with pick something and and yeah I just wouldn't I would mention this to Nikki and I appreciate the opportunity.

Thanks again for the invitations been so much fun to sit down and talk with you, but I'd say you the title that we gave our conflict resolution program training program is just one word and that word is engage in a far to leave the, the men, women, the young people there listening to us today if I can leave them with one thought is to stay engaged stay engaged in your relationships don't be passive. Be active stay engaged in your school stay engaged in your churches stay engaged in our country. I have a tremendous burden in this season, Nikita, for our country because I believe that biblical values are under assault under attack like never before. And as I said I know and you she would agree. You know, a lot of it is a spiritual battle. It's not just how were going to spend tax dollars in our day that were debating about the user. These are bigger issues societal issues foundational issues to the freedom that we believe was endowed by our Creator, not by any government or or or entity, and so I just would encourage everyone to stay engaged engaged in prayer and and W. Zhu Oka and the website where people could find you. Yes if if you're interested in the in the conflict program. Anybody can go to conflict, success.com conflict success.com okay and I will go to help them out from there and slaughter global missions.com I'm looking at as well. That's right, they will learn more about slot a global global mission. Soft point.com of the woman more about your company. Great to have you on hey, great to have you. Julian once again to the man up showing and hope you enjoyed this conversation with my brother Chad slaughter want to welcome you back next week just to spread the word subscribe to the podcast will talk to you again on it's time to man men. I would like to challenge each of you to consider spending five days we must move or die man pursuing the heart of ladies listening will send your manhole with God godly husband's involvement you give them your blessing them. Sign up today and Thought old pastors you would like to bring Holland for Christ ministries and man up conference to your community protocol off.org and email. Remember this. It's time to man up green vinyl tile hardware from the top brand carpet that right now number one in the reader's was the one that had more thing. This is the goal. One of the women support for supporting my new show man on Saturday afternoon. 1230 on the truth that were the cuticle all fear if you're needing to buy a car and have marginal credit for considering using buy here pay here that's worse than taking the Russian sickle Winston-Salem motorcars will put you behind the wheel of a car you can rely on while helping rebuild, repair or establish your credit score conveniently located on Silas Creek Pkwy. in Winston-Salem.

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