Accepting Reproof from Those Who Love Us, Part 3

Loving parents are predisposed to lavish information on their children as moms and dads who cared deeply, we can't help ourselves, sometimes we feel the balance our accolades by drawing helpful boundaries and offering tempered rebuffs her children desperately need in Proverbs chapter 15 we read these words, he whose ear listens to life-giving read will dwell among the wives.

Proverbs 27 faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful kisses of an enemy today on Insight for living. Chuck Swindoll continues a message called accepting reprove those who love and when I meet someone who has the quality of understanding meet someone who has benefited from the reprove of their parents and their friends. Let this sink in. Let it make an impact on you so that you remember it. Parents who are reluctant to bring needed, reprove, neglect, doing their job and as a result, your children will grow up not really respecting already. Again another characteristic of today's times they will lack understanding. Let's face it, some people are just about beyond reprove. They had made such a habit of it.

Go to one person kind of analyze it in more detail, 27, six if you're looking for a verse to memorize.

I suggest Proverbs 27. I don't know 4050 years ago, I memorize the verse can't tell you how many times I've called to mind are shared with other people. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful or the kisses of an enemy look at the verse you study it with your eyes. Here's a literal translation from the Hebrew language. Trustworthy are the bruises caused by the wounding of one who loves you trustworthy are the bruises caused by the wounding of one who loves you deceitful is the flattery of the one who hates you so. The wounding happens when the truth is told and it leaves you with a bruise that bruises trustworthy. Believe me you will not forget it. I can even remember the tone of the voice of my mentor who has reproved me. I remember how he said what he said bruise trustworthy is the bruise that lingers from the wounding of one who should and then the alternative report out for things about this verse that you may have missed. Here's the first one who reproves should be one who loves you the one who reproves should be one who looks no reprove a stranger. As I said earlier, you reprove those you love because you see those you love. You know you don't know a person well silence the reprove.

It's an offensive thing for you to reprove them if you don't know them. But if you know that Wise is the reprove so it should be one who loves us. Second, the bruises left lingers long after the wounding is over the bruise that follows the below lingers in the heart and the mind and the spirit. Matter of fact, there are certain reprove, you will receive that you'll remember the rest of your life and that's a good thing. Number three friendship includes the freedom to confront friendship includes the freedom to confront when you say this person is one of my best friends there ought to be. Sometimes in your relationship, and there was reprove shared the mark of a true friendship. It grants you the freedom to say what ought to be said, maybe not often but somewhere along the way good friends help home shape and polish the life of one another fourth words of flattery represent deception, not love. Notice the call, the kisses of an enemy. Don't fall for them.

The flattery is a cover-up see what it says, verse six of chapter 27 deceitful or the kisses of an enemy. I think we need to write words at the right time, showing the verse on that look at 2511 Proverbs 2511 this beautiful if you're an artist you will love the 11th to 12 versus theirs are all the way through these words defined like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in white circumstance like a ring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise reprove her to a listening year she would goes together meant marvelous iMac colorfully is a work of art for your wizard when you reprove is why it's will time you since this is the right moment to say what needs to be said. The carefully chosen word of the reprove or the listening ear of the reproved like apples of gold in settings of soup may I add a couple or three guidelines before we wind up in Ephesians 6, number one, it's done in private. Never in public reproved on the public embarrasses it offends reprove done privately that is appropriate doesn't offend number two. It includes words designed to correct never to condemn your goal is to build up the person, not tear them down word you say may be strong may be pointed but there designed to build up the individual look back over my childhood and I would run out of time Nicholas would tell you those occasions when a very wise parent in our family would pull one of the three of us kids aside and confront us on something that needs to be addressed interesting.

I don't remember my mother or dad ever reproving either my brother or my sister they did correctly. They did it in private. He misunderstood maybe I said it wrong. They did it in private. I don't know that they remember ever my being reprove because they did it in private. They did it right, you know, son. Notice that your grades are failing in this area. You're very bright you're able to do that. I'm not asking you to do always. I'm just saying you could bring this grade up. I think your lazy.

I noticed that you're not doing your homework before you're having fun. So let's say that you start doing your homework first. I can still remember the reprove at school I had teachers who were Kurt who cared enough about me to correct something that needed to be addressed and the third thing I would say is as upset earlier reproves always come at the right time. They're not due time. You need to make a study of your mate is if you haven't bought husbands and wives. You need to know how your mate is put together. My wife knows when I'm hungry is not a good time to bring reprove. I'm when I'm hungry I want one thing from after the food I'm able to listen a lot better. Until then I can be a little irritable and closed anyway. This sounds like confessions of a preacher day doesn't. You just need to know I'm not telling you anything that I have an experience or need on the man I am today because of the reproves of faithful friends, mentors, and a family now when you get to Ephesians chapter 6, you see how it all fits together in the parent-child relationship doesn't pull right with logic.

Let me show you something if you not noticed before you got your pen handy. Category C addresses chapter 5 verse 22. Circle the first word wives over the next number versus theirs information for the wife. Verse 25 that Japan circle husbands. Here's information for the husband go to verse one of chapter 6 first word children circle that verse for fathers circle that verse 5 Slaves Cir. that verse 9 Masters Cir. in each one of those.

There is a category you can study no one her wedding ceremonies are filled with Ephesians 5 and into chapter 6 because it's addressed to husbands and wives.

Now you get to chapter 6 you're dealing with children.

Children listen so that means that there were children who read Paul's letters. Some are older children, but if you're still living under the roof of your parents. You're in the category of a child you're an older child but you're there under their roof, which means under their authority. So he says children two things, obey your parents verse to honor your father and your mother do as they say and do it with respect is that simple and the directives are there for anybody to read while they fly respect. Why on earth. Look at the verses verse one of chapter 6 for this is right.

It's what's right and verse two, because verse three because it will be well with you, your life will be well lived. If you learn obedience and if you respect their parents. Parents talk straight parents establish boundaries. Parents stand their ground. Parents speak the truth parents confront wrongdoing.

Parents also have firm and encourage parents are there there like a steer in the blizzard there. There day after day week after week, year after year. You can count on and they're not changing the schedule or the I should say they're not changing the standard because times are changing. If it's wrong. It's wrong you have an obedient child that is one who willingly and graciously understands and responds you got a got a treasurer on your hand. It didn't just happen you work with that child so obey in the second is to to respect or to honor because this is right and because it will result in the life you live. It will be well with you. See verse three so that it may be well with you is better for you significant part of cultivating both of these disciplines is related to the parents faithful.

Consistent and appropriate reproves I know it takes a lot of wisdom I understand are broken. If virtually every rule there is to break so I understand how that can happen, but thankfully I've kept some of the of good communication in the home includes talking straight, not talking down it means standing your ground not brutally ending issues with your fists standing your ground. It includes establishing boundaries, saying the truth confronting what is wrong wrong attitude as well as wrong actions and then rewarding good behavior with affirmation question do you obey your parents you respect.

They still living. They know that you honor them.

How valuable that is good for you to be like that now. Dad's verse four and read through fathers, do not provoke your children to anger every dad here knows what that means. We've all done it. Fathers can nag become overbearing can exasperate, preach, harass, and even mistreat dads are bad about that dad's don't provoke your children, it only makes them angry and I've never really found a listening ear in an angry so so when you make him angry. They're not learning, so don't make him angry by exasperating them or provoke then what do I do look at the positive, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord see the words bring them up down in verse 29. No one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it same Greek word, so let's use it up there. Verse four fathers, do not exasperate your children to anger, but nourish in the discipline and instruction of the Lord agrees that so a few quick guidelines that will help all of us number one think and pray before you say anything thinking, pray before you say anything no knee-jerk reaction. No outburst, think and pray before you say anything before claim. He wrote her letter. I am sure she gave serious thought, perhaps even prayer to what she would say to Winston, you might wonder how things turned out that a miserable marriage is a matter of fact they didn't.

Years passed and Winston was asked late in life if you were to die and come back as someone else who would that other person be he said I would be Mrs. Churchill's second husband, a love that answer had a great relationship, think and pray before you say anything number two. There's no need to share the reprove with anyone else get so don't run your Bible study on Monday and tell them about the reprove you unloaded on your husband on Sunday is none of their business. Furthermore, it shows disrespect for your husband. The reprove is a is a part of a marriage that helps the bond to get even stronger when it's done right. So don't be sure that indiscriminately keep it confidential. Third, as the changes occur for a firm I noticed another way, your little more patient than you Smith nice to see that hint, hint, or you may you may hear your partner say you know what, I appreciate the way you speak to the children now member when I talk to you about always being angry. I notice are not always angry.

Now and I want to commend you for the one of a firm's change occurs. Be sure and firm the benefits the one being reproved will know how much you love them. They'll ultimately say to you. Thanks for caring.

Thanks for pointing that out and really help me. Secondly, your reprove will cause the persons respect for you to increase in number three. The reprove will result in lasting benefits to the one who listens and learns and changes the greatest reprove that was ever given God.

It's a reprove regarding your living your life without his son Jesus he said to us. He who has the son has the life let me reprove you with this, you who do not have the son do not have the life you either know Christ or you don't.

And if you don't let me confront this your lost, there's no hope for you beyond the grave.

Got to deal with this is called salvation. Trusting in Christ with our heads. There's never been a time in your life when you have trusted in the Savior.

This is the moment you don't have to clean your life up.

You don't have to give up this sooner that when you have to get victory over all the things that have defeated you. God will take care of that there is no list that you got to prove yourself faithful to what you do need to know is the son of God, because knowing him will give you life and life eternal. I invite you to trust him now. Right now, and by the way, if you have a partner in life, or friend, or a parent who is faithfully reproved you from time to time.

When you be great for you to say to them sometime today. Thank you for caring enough to tell me the truth. Our father we do thank you for your reprove, switch, come in just the right time always for the right reason and in ways that are never forgotten. Thank you for putting up with us. Thank you for knowing all these things about us and loving us is right on through them give us ears to hear you give us hearts that are sensitive to persistence of openness that you might be speaking through the lips of another is your getting our retention about something that needs to be addressed, and may the result to be harmony returning to a home. The removal of threats, ugly, caustic comments, so that the ones who live under that roof know how much we value that finally I pray that you will give those of us who have this unhappy and often difficult responsibility to have the courage to say what ought to be seated. Maybe do so wisely and well guide us great Jehovah were pilgrims in the barren land. We are weak. You were my wholeness with your powerful hand bread of heaven fetus till we want this Mrs. now our father with these words ringing in our ears as we walk with you this day. In the days that followed in Jesus name.

Everyone's a man as Chuck Swindoll admitted that the very beginning of the sermon he's never heard a talk on the subject of reprove's even though the word is repeatedly used in Scripture.

Today's edition of Insight for living completes three days on this important subject for families accepting reprove from those who love us.

Please keep listening because Chuck will bring closing comments in a moment coming to you from his personal study at home and if you like to learn more about Chuck Swindoll in the ministry of Insight for living. Visit us online@insightworld.org it's possible you've been engrossed with today's presentation because you're thinking about a broken relationship that needs repair.

Maybe you're in the throes of confronting attitudes that need correction.

You find a number of helpful resources prepared for you. Located on our website but I'll point out one this especially relevant today. Chuck is written a book on the family called parenting from surviving to thriving in which he addresses practical topics such as dealing with resentment and rebellion and restoring relationships after you've blown it. Whether your rearing young children, or you're watching your children raise families of their own. No household should be without this biblical wisdom Chuck book on parenting is available for purchase. When you go to Insight.org/offer and then please remember anything you can give beyond the actual cost of the resource will go directly toward providing Chuck's teaching on radio. Our mobile app and the Internet, and we truly need your partnership right now as the distractions caused by the pandemic have impacted charitable giving Chuck the rhythm of my heart revolves around Sunday mornings for my entire adult life. Every day of my weak points to the moment I stepped to the pulpit to deliver God's message. In fact, my heart beats faster just imagining. I live with a joyful anticipation for the worship service every Sunday morning. Well because God is wired me this way. Breaking that lifelong rhythm of preaching every weekend is definitely cramped my style like you. This requirement for self quarantine at home, while valid and necessary has become extremely challenging in my hours of reflection at home. I've been grateful that even while our churches are temporarily closed and empty the Insight for living program carries on without an interruption. Isn't that great every day.

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Thanks, Chuck. If you're listening in the United States call us at 1-800-772-8888 that's 1-800-772-8888 or you can also give a donation online insight.org this Wednesday. Chuck Swindoll will continue his series called biblical parent right here on Insight for living. The preceding message accepting reprove from those who love us was copyrighted in 2012 in the cell reporting was copyrighted in 2017 by Charles R. Swindoll. All rights reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited