When the Fun Stops for Parents, Part 1

It's been said that rearing children is among the most rewarding assignments in life is for moms and dads. Children bring up both the best and worst in our character the little ones will book such joy can also provoke occasional frustration. For instance, when a son or daughter's innocent personality transitions into adolescence. We often see signs of independence emerge. Sometimes the outcome pushes our buttons today on Insight for living Chuck Swindoll talked about those inevitable moments when the fund stops for parents and will begin by reading today's passage from the Bible.

All Scripture is given by the inspiration of God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for guidance into righteousness, that the matter God or the woman of God may become mature perfectly equipped with good works. God's word is the only piece of literature on this planet that is inspired by God. It stands alone as no other work of literature could stand and it has stood the test of time. Through the centuries. Today we are privileged to have in our own language and in our own possession a copy of this book so familiar to all of us but so treasured, especially in places where it is not allowed to be carried or read. Let's never forget the privilege of owning a copy of the inspired word of God, knowing that it alone will guide us to maturity reading today from the 15th chapter of Luke beginning the reading adverse 11 when you find your place because of our respect for our God and his word may we stand together for the reading of it. Luke 1511 and he said all a man had two sons, the younger of them said to his father. Father give me the share of the estate that. Me, so he divided his wealth between them and not many days later, the younger son gathered everything together and went on a journey into a distant country and there he squandered his estate with loose living now. It is spread everything a severe famine occurred in the country and he began to be impoverished so he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country and he sent him into his fields to feed swine and he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods. The swine were eating and no one was giving anything to him. But when he came to his senses.

He said how many of my father's hired men have more than enough bread but I am dying here with hunger. I will get up and go to my father and will say to him. Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your site.

I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me as one of your hired men got up and came to his father while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for and ran and embraced him and kissed him, and the son said to him, father, I've sinned against heaven and in your site are no longer worthy to be called your son. But the father said to his slaves quickly ring out the best robe and put it on.

Put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet bring the fatted calf Killington C and celebrate for this son of mine was dead, and is come to life again.

He was lost and has been found, and they began to celebrate one of the greatest stories that Jesus told and how it speaks today to fathers as well as to the rest of in our homes and families today to search the Scriptures with Chuck Swindoll. Be sure to download his searching the Scriptures. Studies by going to Insight world on or/studies.

Another message called when the fund stops for parents the late Paul Harvey was a master storyteller and since everybody loves a story. It was always exciting to hear the stories as he would spend them in such a way that you simply wouldn't let your mind wander to anything else he would tell you one detail after another and sort of weaving together in such a pattern that you almost felt like you were part of the scene as he spoke, and that he would bring the story to its climax and there would be a commercial. Wouldn't you know it right when you were ready for how the rest of the story was going to go there was a break and you thought it was not going to hear the rest of this but auto mono with Paul Harvey. You always got the rest of the story and you found yourself either surprised or shocked or comforted or pleased or humored, depending on the story were involved in the telling of a story called the family and most recently we've learned the importance of delighting in our children got a wonderful response from some of you, as you mentioned you had never given thought to the importance of delighting in your child were so busy. His parents, training them and teaching them and disciplining them and guiding them the forget that every child is a gift is a reward and needs guidance like an arrow in the hand of a warrior rights the psalmist in the 127 and how blessed is the one who has his quiver full of them. This story sounds like a fairytale but then there's the rest of the story and it's at this point the fund stops for parents. Some of you know firsthand exactly what I'm referring to. We have been there, haven't we. I would imagine the number of you are saying we are there even though we tried to shape the will with wisdom. Our child has grown to the place where there was nothing but defiance and rebellion and it is like another whole person has moved inside their their skin and and words are coming out that were never spoken in our home before and behind-the-scenes. There are activities happening that we would never allow by-and-by. We realize we have a prodigal on our hands. Don't misunderstand, in the growing up years. All of us but show signs of independence is everything healthy and wholesome about that no person should be connected to the mother's apron strings. Once adulthood happened. In fact it pleases God that there be a separation. Of course for us to become our own men and women. However, I'm not referring to that I'm referring to the. The rebel, the one who with a curled lip defies the authority of his mother and father and says in so many words, to hell with you.

I'm going my way and I don't care how you're going to go but this is my plan and before long you can't reason with them.

You can't negotiate. You can't counseling because you realize a spanking is impossible. You gotta cut him loose and the fun really. At that point stops back in the 1960s, we began to see the graffiti appear on brick walls and in and in and in other places. Even schoolyards question authority question. It someone tries to pull rank you question authority and at that time there was a break between the establishment which was viewed with cynicism and the freedom of the will to go my way.

Thank you. We who live back then, remember, it was a treacherous time and while we all knew the importance of every person becoming an independent individual.

We also knew the power and importance of a society that must be guided by rules and regulation.

Otherwise, there's an art, and what can happen in a society happens in the home before returning to that familiar story. I invite you to the first book of Samuel chapter 15 a couple of verses there that are worth looking at in this case, the rebel is not a teenager, not a young adult still living under the roof of his parents. This is a full-grown adult.

This is a rebel who was a king and he's the King of all things of the Hebrews and when he reaches this stage in his life. It is as if the blinds were drawn and the restraint is thrown to the winds and he does what he will pleases.

Before we look at the scene in verses 22 and 23 may help to get a definition of rebellion. Rebellion is an act or show of defiance toward an authority. It would be expressions of opposition and strong unwillingness to cooperate. It's a strong determination to go one's own way to do whatever one chooses, regardless of the Council or previous instruction in a word, it is insubordination. What is God's opinion of insubordination and rebellion right in front of us. No matter what the prophet Samuel told him he will make his own decisions and so King Saul acting acts in defiant rebellion and Samuel stops him in his tracks. I will take the time to go back to the context. I'll just go to the market of verse 22 where Samuel says to the king. Has the Lord as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of the Lord. Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice to heat is better than an altar filled with the fat of rams. Now he explains why, for rebellion is as the sin of divination. Look at that rebellion is as the sin of divination. We don't use that word much these days, divination. This is trafficking in the occult practices.

This is time spent in demonic activity. Rebellion is like that and look further and insubordination is as iniquity and even worse, I don't so all you need to know surrounded by occult practices and demonic idols. You need to know that your rebellion Saul is as the sin of divination and in fact your insubordination is like unto idolatry.

You hardly need that defined Saul's land was filled with idols and he knew what that meant, so let's go back to the home and clarify. Not a healthy independence but an unhealthy defiance is what we have reference to today when rebellion occurs, it isn't cute or humorous or just a stage.

It isn't that I don't matter that we cast off. Is all an act of mischievousness when it reaches the place where there is no room for correction or reason or negotiation or counsel when other children are being negatively affected by the rebel in the home, making the family miserable. It's time to release the to the consequences that will follow. That's at the heart of the story Jesus tells in the 15th chapter of Luke.

You carry a Bible with red letters.

You will see all of the story is in red. Jesus is telling this story because there is no proper name mentioned, it may very well of been another parable an imaginary story. On the other hand, one wonders if Jesus knew a family was going through this in rather than embarrassing the family by giving names. He simply tells the story tells the story of the family. This family is soon to be in pain because the father has to exert tough love before I go further let me quote from a fine book titled parents in pain. But Dr. John White. Dr. White writes God's dealings with his people form a pattern for Christian parent like him.

We may eventually have to allow persistently rebellious children to harvest the consequences of their willfulness.

The time can come when we have to withdrawal all support from them and oblige them because of their own decisions to leave home. However, children must not be thrown out and in a fit of picture petulant range. Our home has at times served as a temporary refuge for young people ranging in age from 13 to 17 who have been ordered out of their houses during a family fight, get out, get out of this house did you ever show your face around here again is a common wording for the dismal. In most cases the teenagers are back home and in a matter of a month or two. There's another blowup but there are times when an explosive situation demands. Fast action get this bitterness often rises and the good children whom the parents made neglect neglect and their desire to restore their prodigal to his or her senses. Sometimes matters go so far that the parents are forced to choose whom they would rather have at home. The problem child or the nonproblem children.

By the way, you may be there right now and that's part of the dilemma of the whole thing and the home is no longer laughing the funnest foot away, and use parents must make a decision that will be painful for you.

Parents who are reluctant, writes white parents who are reluctant to take drastic steps should ask themselves why are you too scared.

There's every reason to be scared. What parent is not the thought of exposing a child of physical hardship to loneliness tomorrow.

Temptation flies in the face of every car-rental instinct, or is it the parents fear public opinion for the still clinging to unrealistic hopes that matters will magically write themselves, if only they hang on a little longer when it is plain they will not parents who cling to their every children must realize about paying debts and legal expenses beyond clearly set guidelines, or even by offering continued shelter, food and clothing they can morally become a party to the delinquent behavior strong words why sports here is the story not just of a prodigal son, but of a very wise and secure father. We read of the story beginning at verse 11 where the man really has two sons, and you need to understand ethnically and culturally in that day in the Jewish home.

The father's inheritance would be passed along to his two sons if there were just two two thirds to the older and 1/3 to the younger it would happen either when he retires or when the man dies and was possible for a father simply to act on it. When neither had occurred so that before retirement, or perhaps at a given time with the children reach a certain age. The inheritances then given to the children in this case, the younger son is the one who steps up and rather impudent lease is many words I want mine right now. I'm not waiting any longer. I'm old enough to go on my own, give me my inheritance. Now that that seems to be that the tone of it.

So, without an argument without a sermon without a fight.

We read. He divided his wealth between them. So the older son gets two thirds in this young rebel gets 1/3 were not told how much apparently was a considerable amount in light of what the board does with the wealth that comes to him. In fact, it's called will he divided his will between them had braces of the father, you have it coming. I'll give you what you have coming and nothing more. The next several words intrigued me when I read. Not many days later, the younger son gathered everything and went to a distant country I love it that it says not many days later, so there were some hours when no doubt father and son had a talk in the back room. Let's talk this out son let me pass along information that you will need. Now that you have all the money in your pocket watch out.

You'll have Fairweather friends of the coming go, they'll take everything you've got your tendency will be to extravagantly spend money on yourself.

If you're not careful it'll lead to a fast and shallow life that is dreadful. Consequently, to just hear the father's exactly what you would've done what I would've done course, not many days pass before long the boy is stuffing his belongings into his backpack and he went on a journey into a distant country what to do when the fund stops for parents.

That's the subject.

We are addressing today here on Insight for living Chuck Swindoll was your closing comment with a shortly so please keep listening and if you like to learn more about this ministry. Visit us online@insideworld.org. This is message number eight in Chuck's 12 part series called biblical parenting throughout the study is becoming quite clear that healthy families don't automatically emerge from our good intentions raising healthy children takes intentional effort is a let me highly recommend a practical way to take your next steps. Whether you the mom or dad of young children are your the parents of young adults who were starting families of their own. We're confident you'll appreciate the biblical wisdom in a classic book from Chuck is called parenting from surviving to thriving as a Bible teacher adapter for adult children in our grandfather. These biblical principles were forged in the crucible of Chuck's personal experience. The book is insightful and contains a wealth of wisdom to purchase a copy of parenting from surviving to thriving. Give us a phone call if you're listening in the United States dial 1-800-772-8888 or go online to Insight.org/offer. Please keep in mind it's not the purchase of books and resources that fueled his nonprofit ministry, but rather the voluntary donations of grateful friends and your gifts truly make an impact, especially during this critical pandemic crisis when families are looking to Insight for living, for biblical hope and wisdom.

Chuck, the pandemic has brought the global economy to its knees in our lifetime. We've never witnessed anything like it.

Have we.

But let's be absolutely clear. While it's true that world trade is come to a virtual standstill. The persistent challenges of daily life. Continue with more intensity than ever think for a moment. Yes, isolating in our homes has minimized our exposure to the coronavirus but is only intensified our daily engagement with those we love. If you want to test your patience as a mom or dad just put everyone in the same household locked in a stay-at-home mood for the foreseeable future. That's one of the many reasons I decided to present this series on biblical parenting. Our hope in our prayer is that these daily messages and the books we made available to you will help moms and dads, sons and daughters, aunts and uncles and even grandparents learn to thrive today. It's very important for me to add this request our daily visits on radio and all of the resources offered through the website come with a price tag they might arrive free to you, but they're not free to provide. So we deeply appreciate and yes, we definitely need your generous financial support. We realize some of our listing family cannot give right down. That's understandable that many of you can as God prompts you to support Insight for living ministries.

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