Danger Signs of Marital Erosion, Part 3

Today from Pastor and Bible teacher Chuck Swindoll.

This is a wake-up message for some of you wake-up your responsibilities as a parent long the boundaries long for your love.

They long to know the security of your life and lifestyle. Observe, listen and pray thing with them. Wake-up erosion happens.

Well overall sleep when a marriage falls. It's rarely the outcome of one massively poor choice.

It's usually a series of small harmful decision that occur over a long period of time today on Insight for living. Chuck Swindoll continues her three-day presentation that specifically deals with this erosive progression and how to guard against literature marriage. You need to protect relationship with your children and grandchildren there something practical in today's program for everyone. Chuck is teaching from first Samuel chapter 1 title. Today's message danger signs of marital road met Eli the first written of him in all the Bible is chapter 1 verse nine were told in the book of first Samuel that Eli is sitting on the seat by the doorpost of the temple of the Lord.

It's where people in authority said who judged and who led those of the day he's he's a priest teaser is the high priest. Chapter 4 verse 18 we just read earlier tells us that he judged Israel for 40 years so this is no fly-by-night leader. He's been at it for decades and his children, his boys have seen them growing up. All of the early years there daddy was the judge's let's meet his science. They too were priests. If you can believe it.

Verse three of chapter 1. I wish I could give all of this in one simple section of Scripture.

But you gotta go back and forth in these first four chapters so bear with me here were building toward a case verse three. The two of his sons were Eli of Eli work half the infinity because they were priests to the Lord there so they're younger priests there daddy is the high priest, boys are they verse 12 of chapter 2 just comes to the bottom line, the sons of Eli were worthless. Men they did not know the Lord. Then the last preacher or priest to serve the church who didn't know the Lord. Eli is so out of touch these boys are out of control and is going right on with his judging and preaching and leading it can happen honey. Pause for a caveat here sometime. A dad does what he ought to be doing and the kids just go bad okay kids have a will of their own limit. Just sent that straight. Lest you think I'm not aware of it but sometimes it's rare, sometime a father is done all that could have been done and the kids turn out wrong more often than not, however, the dad is too busy to involved and therefore out of touch. Verse 12 makes it real clear in chapter 2 that they were worthless.

That's a pretty strong word would say in Texas. Sorry, sorry, couple guys at the Texas expression God uses the word worthless. They have no plans to repent. There too old now or the to sit there too stubborn to change.

In fact, when the wrong father says something to them.

They don't respect him, but they they they they turn against his reproof verse 25 says they would not listen to the voice of their father Eli and his half To correct things a little late does not get the attention of his son. And then there's 1/3 boys name is Samuel is not Eli Sonny's habits Hannah and LK not have had this boy and have a promise of the Lord would give her a child when he when she weaned him. She would bring him to Eli and and she would have Eli mentor him as he would grow up there in that tabernacle, you know, maybe Hannah did not know the setting that a lot of people for a long time didn't know it can happen. Erosion is like that these boys are making decisions behind-the-scenes and their lives are turning in the wrong direction.

Samuel reminds me of a of a beautiful rose that grows in blooms over a cesspool flower the blossoms your swamp the bad environment, but the guide turns out great.

He's never contaminated by the lives of hafnium in the house just occurs it may be by now, Eli realizes that the other boys are too far to help. Maybe is one chances with Samuel.

He pours himself in him. I don't know what were the sins of the older son is well no reason to linger here needlessly but verse 17 of chapter 2 states the sin of the young man was very great before the Lord for the man despised the offering of the Lord; to make matters worse, they became a lustful taking advantage of the women who would come for worship. You can believe it, and before long, everybody knows about it. Verse 23 Eli when talking to the boys is what you do such things. The evil things that I hear from all these people. People are not talking you can't live like that think it's a mistake like it is going to get back to the to the dad verse 24 know my son. The report is not good, which I hear the Lord's people circulate you see Eli's being worn by different sources. He's got the people who came to worship telling look at verse 27 of chapter 2. He's got an unnamed man of God, a prophet who came to Eli and said gives him a little historical lesson on the people of the Hebrews and says to him, and 29.

Why do you kick at my sacrifice and at my offering, which I commanded in my dwelling and honor your sons above me by making yourselves fact with the choices of every offering of my people Israel. That's how we got fat.

He fell into the trap of his own sons habit of eating more than they should. Taking what they shouldn't. Now the Lord is reproving this dad saying you're beginning to look a lot like your son. This is a good place for us to make this very practical I say these next few words and no condemning manner and not directed to anyone family if I knew the family that needed to hear this, you and I would be talking privately, personally, that's a pastor's responsibility, but because I don't I say these things publicly to all of us. You especially her still rearing the young listen real closely, let's identify the danger signs that were true, way back then and there. Still true today. How can I know that there is mining going on at a distance of causing my family to sink. One of the signs, it could tell me this life is eroding one of the signs of danger given to you simply to word statements.

Four of them number one, two busy when you get too busy you get preoccupied your work happens to the exclusion of the needs of your children with.

We talked about this before was Eli during the formative years of his children growing up. He was busy at the gate of the city. It was busy about the offerings in the tabernacle.

It was a high priest, Alexander Whyte, in his fine book on Bible characters is a way back at the beginning of his life. Eli had taken far too much in hand. Eli was both cheap judge and the high priest in himself or the whole house of Israel, the ablest, the most laborious, the most devoted the most tireless and sleepless of men could not have done what Eli undertook to do and taking up what was beyond mortal power to perform the certain result was that he did nothing. Well, where was Eli when the boys were asking the hard questions when the first glimpse of cynicism emerge from there.

Tom where was he when the first vulgar word was said or the fistfight between the two of them are with one of the other boys.

They were playing with. Where was Eli is busy, busy, about very important and respected work. Second is to double double lot of kind word, but it's a true word he's insensitive. Maybe the signs emerged, but his mind was on that decision. He had to make it work late that night and his wife decided she put it often and maybe he would handle it later in what I say go all out and he just didn't start early enough even start early and domestic erosion is never fast or loud or alarming.

It just quietly works its subtle ways.

Which brings me to the third is to slow you fail to respond sufficiently to the warnings of others who genuinely cared what he wait till there man that shake them on the shoulders know if you wait too long and you slap your sons you get punch back is not a smart thing to do is a proverb that says the fathers have eaten sour grapes and the children's teeth are set on image to slow you find signs of drugs still wait don't blame step up you notice the beer bottles after the party look think is no teacher at school with more authority than you set the boundaries you notice, sassing their mother listen to attention.

There's no youth worker that could stop that. Like you can. Our father sin that are no more lamentations 57. It is we who have borne their iniquities get a phone call from a friend, don't deny it, listen have trouble with the law. Don't blame the law. The fourth too easy when he didn't rebuke them. It was a hand slap in the hand slap on a grown man is insulting, correcting a very, very careful. Don't ever forget you hear this. You've heard this be very very careful not to let your love for your sons or your daughters override your better judgment. Be very careful about that.

That's why he is rebuked by the Lord saying you honor your sons above me go one step further. Your gracious enough to hear me out in this your son sent to jail. Don't quickly bail them out. Don't rush OB. There, but perhaps the consequences of being a night or two or three behind bars will be enough to scare them straight city and I were a little surprised to hear as a yesterdays news was broadcasting the report of a number of teachers who have been teaching for more than 20 years. They were interviewed asking the major source of the problem. They deal with the consensus of opinion, was the problem was not mainly with students or with administration was with parents.

The parents who fight them for the authority don't go there. So what are some lessons that all of this teaches again at the risk of being overly simplistic, wake up. This is a wake-up message for some of you wake up to your responsibilities as a parent. This will keep you in the minds of your children, their parents, they long for the boundaries they long for your love. They long to know the security of your life and lifestyle long leaders on how to put it into words. Put yourself in his or her shoes observe, listen, pray, think, talk with friends that you trust. Talk with them. Wake up, erosion happens. Well overall sleeping or sleepy. Second, talk straight out of the never met a kid that didn't appreciate straight talk that mean they listened, but they appreciate straight talk will pussyfoot around.

Don't be vague.

This is the road her to fill. If your concerns say that if you have questions ask the hard questions.

Talk straight about of about curfew talk straight about the choice of friends talk straight about dating talk straight about drugs and sex. We got ads on the television.

Now that say you might want to discuss drugs, who really remained course you want to their all and every high school in every junior high school there on the streets.

It's available. Our son was going for a while to USC and he said when he got off the bus to walk that little distance from where he was let off in downtown LA to the campus of SC virtually every single day he was hit up with products virtually every day and that was in the 80s. Talk straight.

Third, my love.

This would stay close.

If you're not close start getting close.

If they don't want you close when Jean find the Avenue of unity with them and step into it begin with. With an apology, tell them you're sorry been detached telling you believe in them you want a relationship with them that works tell them you've missed it and describe it. Most kids I know will forgive you in a heartbeat if you just say I'm sorry and spell out why you don't have a relationship build a new one is never too late to start doing what is right also father-son fishing trip with a number of guys whose names you probably know, one of them was Jake Kessler who would come with his boys and and why was there with hours were up in Canada was a delightful time together. We laughed ourselves to sleep out every night with more fun fishing through the day you fish in the morning and eat what you call it lunch. Some Guzman little hungry, and then you'd face in the afternoon and then you eat what you caught that night. It was just really, it was designed for nothing, but just the kind of downtime type will lose. There is no chives is better but one guy wore 12 we destroyed it and then we the best part was when the boys finally went to bed and the guy set around talk always dad's and then little by little dad to fall asleep dead leaving and finally wound up one evening just Jay and me the priceless moment Jay had led the youth for Christ ministry. Many many many years and then later Pres. Taylor University. I love anybody respect for Jake Kessler just dripping with wisdom. We got on the quiet together and little misty about our boys and knowing they were growing up soon going to be gone. He sits. I can't tell you the story and I'm sure this story very rarely. He said I was leaving youth for Christ group in another city with a fairly well-known evangelist who became really well.

The name you'd know if I gave it to you and he said he had two boys who went while he said they were the challenge of my life. They were the heartbreak of the youth for Christ club. I mean, they redo it all the stuff the kid shouldn't be doing and I could never get the dad's attention is that we did our best with them.

The boy, these guys just got out of control. Suddenly daddy died just an abrupt death, unexpected, and said we did the funeral and these boys sat with her arms folded and stared is seething with all kinds of feelings he said in my past and the following night, loud knock at the door. So I got up and stumbled to the front door and opened his middle the night at your stood those two boys filthy and vomited all over themselves drunk.

The pants were wet. He said come on guys with the world doing the stumble in a crying. I said we just urinated on our dad's grave and Jay just put his arms around him and they were here they were in the mixture of confusion, anger, rebellion, loneliness and grief and never had been breached. I said to Jay that he just told me with tears run out of his eyes.

He said II honestly lost touch with the modern ever turned out is that every time I remind myself that I think I need to just past the story on so others will learn from it will not forget. I stayed away The rest of that night thinking about said to Jay, with your permission will ensure that from time to time. He said yeah that's fine. Keep the names on.

It's a true story. It is in your story. I hope hope it will be my story with Talk straight get close. This is your chance. There are times are father we realize that Tim suddenly is just like you and each one of us in a room ourselves.

We do acknowledge the busyness of life.

We confess to you that we've often make choices that work best for our family, but it just might be that nobody ever got our attention.

Like you've gotten it today and suddenly our schedule seems to Palin far less significant.

We think about a life that will outlive hours people with our blood, our name, our flesh, who live on beyond this, I pray that we will indeed wake up talk straight and pull up close. Pray that will stop all rationalization.

Just in case he may have started you will use this ancient story of this dear old guy just wound up out of touch teaches flowers still in her 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s we've lost it. There may we make up for it with her grandchildren help us.

I pray in the midst of the world's lost to be a beacon of light in the community to roadie each one of the families touched by this message may it never be for me to make a difference in the name Jesus Christ our Lord.

Pray we always aiming listening to Insight for living Bible teaching of Chuck Swindoll.

He titled today's message danger signs of marital erosion. Learn more about this ministry. Be sure to visit us online@insightworld.org and then let me tell you about a book. Chuck is written, which parallels this teaching series. In fact, it shares the same title marriage from surviving to thriving in his book more than 200 pages in length. Chuck goes into greater detail on today's topic and he includes seven other chapters on a wide variety of common issues to purchase a copy right now.

Go to Insight.org/offer or call us if you're listening in the United States dial 1-800-772-8888. The title again is marriage from surviving to thriving in the last several weeks we've heard from thousands of friends all around the world who affirm the value of these daily visits with Chuck many of told us they can trace their listening back 10 2030 years and more. It's wonderful to see what God is accomplished through this legacy of God's faithfulness. Someone left a note that read thank you Pastor Chuck for your steadfastness, your willingness to be transparent, honest human and very open about the issues I needed to hear person listening since 1983, what we believe the best days are yet ahead as we deepen our friendship partners like you give a donation today, listening in the United States dial 1-800-772-8888 or give a donation online@insight.org/donate site for living. The preceding message danger signs of marital erosion was copyrighted in 2005, 2006 and 2022 and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2022 by Charles R. Swindoll. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly