What Families Need to Thrive, Part 2

Today on Insight for living husband love your wives, as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her wife loves her husband enough to live for him. Husband loves his wife enough diver.

The principal is demonstrating Christlike love. I have rarely seen a woman who was loved by slugs the church who had a problem with adapting and cooperating if we allowed social media dictate our definition of successful families. You might assume that great vacations, beautiful faces financial success are the top of the list, but in reality families that truly prosper are those that employ much more meaningful practices today on Insight for living. Chuck Swindoll helps us identify powerful discipline. For starters, Paul told the Ephesians to lay aside falsehood and speak the truth, added let no unwholesome word proceed out of your mouth. Let's pick up right where you left off yesterday. Ephesians chapter 4 all this rare anger clamber slander and malice be put away. Each word is meaningful to the word bitterness is a word for long-standing resentment. Look at the positive side, no unwholesome word no unpleasant reactions look at this courtesy in verse 32.

If I had a wish for the family of God. You can read it in verse 32 we would be kind to one another, tenderhearted is the word for compassionate and forgiving kind, compassionate, forgiving, say that with me, and compassionate, forgiving the reason they are important is that all of us need all three.

We are often unkind and there's nothing that disarms us in our unkindness like a kind response is supernatural. It comes from Christ. It doesn't come from the flesh.

That's the part of agape love that kicks in, causing you to love someone who, at the moment is not very lovely kindness member my comment about the president of the Bible college that I visited is a small sign that hangs on the wall as you enter his office. Three words kindness spoken here. Not surprisingly, is not a student on the campus. It doesn't enjoy being with that person.

Because when you're with him you hear kindness. I tells the truth is a kindly remember when I was selling shoes so working my way through high school I had a really good boss who taught me how to how to fit a woman with shoes and he said you never say to the woman. Oh, your foots to be you say oh she was a little small we get the next size I said the same thing but I didn't get kicked in the teeth by telling her that she's got a big foot kindness is tacked its graciousness and verbal form. Some of you have a long way to go with that. I I hear you talk I hear you talk to your children. I've heard you talk to your mate, and admittedly, there are times I've spoken to my words that were kind kind, compassionate why we need compassion because every one of us at times get sick or can't keep up or have failed. And there's nothing like being understood in our failure.

Compassion says there's room to go on from here.

Forgiveness says we won't hold this against you. Let's go on okay with me so far. Remodeling restraint and courtesy.

Now the third is across the page chapter 5 verse 21 watch closely.

Don't jump to 22 yet 21 is following on the heels of being filled with the spirit 18 and some of the things that followed. We speak to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs we sing in our hearts. These melodies, verse 20 we give thanks another characteristic of being filled with the spirit now notice verse 21 we are subject to one another. Now this is all about love is love for Christ. It is love for others and therefore here's the point we are willing to cooperate and adapt. Don't write down submission because what you women are just not right. So don't write it down right down cooperation and adapting willing to cooperate in the day I get to the minute to minute relax. Let me deal with you right now we are to be subject to one another in the fear of Christ look at that loving our husbands enough as much as we love our Savior just as we fear our Savior. We have a low forearm me one of the firm doesn't even appear in verse 22 the words be subject or in italics. So that's why read it wives to your own husbands, as to the Lord. There is this wonderful spirit of adaptation and cooperation. Marvelous. Now how can that be stay on the same theme the same context and look at verse 25.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her wife loves her husband enough to live for him.

The husband loves his wife enough to die for her.

Now the principal is demonstrating Christlike love put that down me tell you some of observed these years I've lived on this old planet. I don't believe I honestly rarely, I have rarely seen a woman who was loved as Christ loves the church who had any problem with adapting and cooperating with her husband. Often it's a husband problem. Not always, but often husband hasn't loved her as Christ loves the church that kind of love creates a desire to adapt and cooperate on any little help with the children tonight not a problem. I'll be glad to do that or you know sweetheart I got a work lead to good. We just a little later in a unit of Unilever frozen TV dinners hidden on the table with the notes is late again, you don't do that, you say sure you know what will make a great little candlelight will eat later this evening.

That's great, operate why is your loved.

He's courteous enough to call and your caring enough to adapt. That's how it supposed to work so good time for me to say a word to fellow ministers. There are a few of them scattered through our listening audience if you will.

We can sometime be pretty effective on our feet.

Be pretty pathetic at the house under our roof we can often love our parishioners more than our children know we love them. Our wives know how much they mean to us sometime. I encourage you to do a study on the lives of some of the well-known greats of the past CT stud William Carey John Wesley David Livingston read what they put their wives through. No one takes away from their accomplishments and were marvelous.

There was a price paid behind-the-scenes is my whole point. Finally, I give a word of caution to you in ministry. Don't ever go anyplace where your wife resists the call stay right where you are dragging her along won't make her a happy camper and won't make her love it more because she was force she's not convinced.

When you love her, as you should you pause and adapt and spend time working through whatever it is that holds back for all you know her restraint might be spirit directed you respect her as you should acknowledge that all right another that this get on the children.

Verse one of chapter 6 not get on. But let's address the children here in verse one, and let's put the point down, showing respect for authority, showing respect for authority. Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. How long my child as long as I'm living under the roof of my parents as long as I am drawing my livelihood finding my place to sleep eating my food at my parents table sleeping in the bed. My parents have provided. Please observe the words. This is right now showing respect for authority not only happens between a child and the parent a child observes it in a parent with those who are in authority over her or over him there respect for their bosses there respect for the law there respect for obeying being responsible for things that are required of adults and as our children observed that kind of respect for authority, they have less problem respecting us. By the way, respect is earned.

Early on, it is required as the child grows older. By then the child will have cultivated on his or her own, a learned respect because of the way we have treated him or her. Please observe if you're still living under the roof of your parents. Honor your father and your mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you. You may live long on the earth. We never grow too old for that. I love it when I see adult men and women treating their aging parents with honor. Few things are more Christian than that. You never reach an age where honor is no longer needed. It's all part of showing respect for authority.

Now verse four is helpful because it keeps us from going too far in demanding respect this point says giving others space and encouragement. Look at verse four. Father's, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, giving others space and encouragement now. Dad's let me talk to you again. I would talk to mothers tube at the Lord directs his father's so it may apply to some others, but I've discovered that it mainly applies today. We are often the more demanding were often the more exacting the less forgiving we often are the ones who nag and I do not give our children the space they need to become so it says don't exasperate your children. In fact, look at Colossians 321 stickers to me to have you turn there sure what my men yeah so glad that sometime you think is at the versa going to want yes it is there. It is father's do not exasperate your children so they may not. So they will not lose heart, is the word for being discouraged, we could discourage our children by being too exacting. Too much of the time, so give them space.

Give him room. Kids go through stages.

They go through periods where they test us. I like the way John RW Stott writes about this. Every child must be allowed to be himself, wise parents recognize that not all nonconforming responses of childhood deserve to be styled rebellion. On the contrary, it is by experiment that children discover both the limits of their liberty, and the quality of their parents love in order for them to grow up they have to develop their independence, not because they are resistant to their parents authority because they need to exercise their own parents need to take time and trouble with their children is Dr. Laura Jones pertinently observes, if parents, but gave as much thought to the rearing of their children as they do the rearing of animals and flowers.

The situation would be very different. Give him a break, especially as they get a little older and if they do childish things.

Understand that's what children do they spill milk they make messes they break rules sound like a doting grandfather right now Donna I'm talking to myself and I should have been listening to me 30 years ago in 25 years ago. No one else was telling me the song telling you this now, I told you before that when we did spill milk at our table.

My dad would just turn the glass over to make things, you know, complete for the meal. It just so we did have a have a blaster note sometime what we did wrong was laughed at.

Not if it was grossly wrong but it just a childish mistake. Okay, give them a break. You will find your children snuggling a lot more closely.

If you give them space. That's the thing you love about God.

He doesn't wipe us off the scene because we do the same wrong things over and over again, or we come back to him, Lord, I'm back again you is the good he doesn't do that is to say Lord I'm back again. The same old thing I've asked forgiveness for you know what he says to that one thing he's forgotten, that's grace. Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.

Verse 10 put on the full armor of God so you be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil is the last standing strong against the real enemy he doesn't live under your roof. He comes uninvited. He looks for a moment where he can engage and then he steps in and takes advantage of the moment. The real enemy is Satan who doesn't want your family to succeed in a former church. One of our members was making a flight and she said, as the meal was served on the airplane.

She noticed the man sitting next to her and in the seat right there didn't eat his meal. He bowed and prayed quite a bit through his meal and when they gathered the the meal back. He handed in his full tray and she looked at him and said, I noticed that you were praying he said yes.

She said are you a Christian. He said no I'm a Satanist and in our coven.

We are praying that this year 100 Christian leaders will fail in their marriage were put in were fasting to Satan.

With that goal in my that is the enemy he wants nothing to do with a happy family. The strong and stable and secure.

He wants to fracture.

He wants to bring some appealing mooring temptation that says to you, worry about your family, your you're on a trip. You worked hard standing strong against the real enemy is a vital part of making it work. Patrick Morley right.

Satan doesn't come to the Christian than Tim tempted, transparent, evil, to presume Satan will attack us at our strong point defies good sense. No, instead he will tempt us at the weakest point of our defenses where we have forgotten his capabilities.

He will not mount a direct attack on our strengths. He will look for our vulnerabilities.

The places where we do not think defenses are needed. For example, Satan will not tempt you to hate your family you will tempt you to absentmindedly let your good deeds consume your time until you are out serving Christ five nights a week. The result for your family will be the same as if you hated them. Mission accomplished how to do this truck, why put all this together really not complicated couple of very quick comments. Verse 18 prevailing prayer, persistent awareness, with all prayer and petition, pray at all times. Name your family members name your husband name your wife name your children name them every day.

Name your grandchildren named them bring before the Lord.

The things that are going through.

Name them, pray for them every day that's praying without ceasing. That's persisting in prayer that's praying at all times. Pray for your family. Pray for your partner.

Second, persistent awareness, he says, be on the alert with all perseverance, job one for any family member is to stay awake. Pay attention. Watch for signs. Listen sensitively liquid. Nothing is being said. Pay attention to attitudes.

Find out what they're learning in school discover where their struggles are helpful know what a good date is all about paying attention to their choice of friends pay attention just like you would if they were newborns, but now you better do it wisely and very sensitively and speak say something when your concern is all part persistent aware. Now you have said through this message. Once I preached it three times.

That ought to tell you something about who needs it the most. My hope is that it will not just remain as notes on your outline, but it will become guidelines for you. Nobody is looking or would pressure grows in you. Since your family needs something here. Never too late to start doing Bible teaching of pastor and author Chuck Swindoll to learn more about this ministry. Visit us online@insightworld.org. It's been many years since we've addressed marriage and the family on this broadcast and many in our listening family have inquired about additional resources will you be glad to know Chuck wrote a book called marriage from surviving to thriving. Many are using this book in their small group Bible study and others have given copies to their adult children and grandchildren were wrestling with the normal issues of married life is book includes a chapter called practical advice on making a marriage stick and there's a full chapter on the topic. We addressed today what families need to thrive. There something for everyone in Chuck's book called marriage from surviving to thriving to purchase a copy right now. Go to insight.org/offer or call us if you listening in the United States dial 1-800-772-8888 and then finally, as a complement to your worship experience in your local church this coming Sunday. Remember you can also celebrate with Chuck Swindoll by viewing the worship service@insight.org/Sundays just a few weeks ago. I just presented a miniseries that was delivered over two weekends.

One of those was designed to help us look back at the prior year and the other was designed to help us look forward into the future. Chuck reassured us that God's fingerprints are all over our past and his fingerprints are all over our future as well with her response was broadly received and in fact we decided offer both audio recordings free of charge. These two messages from Chuck are offered under the title pressing on in faith. So download the free audio files by going to insight.org/pressing on.

Now, once again, here's our teacher, Chuck Swindoll moved out together in the quietness of this moment I fully realize that some of heard all of this and never really entered into a relationship with Jesus Christ. It's a futile attempt to try to get your life straightened out. If you don't start at the cross said again. It's a futile attempt attempt to straighten out your life if you don't start at the cross Jesus Christ paid the complete penalty for your sentence. Your sins have separated you from your father who created you, you can't know his strength or his blessings. You can't know his insights or his power to hold your feet to the fire. If you don't know his son Jesus. So I urge you to start their feud never made that journey of faith that is the place to start and let us know how we can help you get going in right direction.

Father, thank you for the time we spent searching the Scriptures, thank you for direction that will help us in the midst of a of a culture that's forgotten sideways in a world that's long since lost its way. May we be your men and women who are in touch. Joyful to the nth degree, full of grace. At the same time loving truth maybe grow in both especially inside our homes behind the doors that have hinges and a lot help us as we bill the Museum of Art memories to build one full of magnificent pictures result in years beyond our own years of joy, insecurity and happiness in purpose and meaning is, lives are built from our house.

I ask in the name of Christ are sleep. Amen. Join us when Chuck Swindoll exposes the danger signs of marital erosion Monday on insight for living. The preceding message. What families need to thrive was copyrighted in 2005, 2006 and 2022 and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2022 by Charles R. Swindoll. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited