How Often Should We Forgive?, Part 3

How do we extend forgiveness to someone who doesn't deserve is disingenuous to do that when our offender refuses to see their role in hurting our feelings today on Insight for living. Chuck Swindoll helps us sort through the difficult issue related to forgiving some whether or not they choose to participate in reconciliation have someone in mind already well because of the importance of this three-day message we're beginning today's program with ample review. Chuck titled this practical study Matthew chapter 18. How often should we forgive Jesus the master teacher never simply click answer and walked away.

He often missed the answer with the story love story you do to.

We love them because they pique our curiosity where is this going to wait for comparison, the kingdom of heaven can be compared.

Stop your kingdom of heaven you think of a place wrong thing of a lifestyle when you want to live in the kingdom life.

When you want to model the life of Jesus. Our word is would you want to be Christ like. Which would be kingdom of heaven being lived in an earthly setting can be compared to this.

Computers and drove all over my I suggest you learn from the story I tell you when I say, in turn, that we all learn as Peter words and please observe in this story is true in most stories there is. There are three main characters. There is a king who is calling into account those who owing money. There is a servant who owes him an infinite amount of money which represents vertical forgiveness. Don't miss that is God who has forgiven us all our sins past, present, future East or West all our sins forgiven all of them implement forgiveness.

That's the first servant is what heals rates and then there's a second servant, who was a friend of the servant was just been forgiven. He owes a few dollars in the servant who has been forgiven will forgiven. That's horizontal forgiveness. That's what we are. That's where it applies to us directly.

So let's look kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who decides to bring his accounts up-to-date with servants, who owed money who had borrowed money from them in the process.

One of his debtors was brought in new owed him millions of dollars. Stop here we are in the story were you able to imagine. Imagine that no one could repay millions of dollars.

The king is calling it into account what the money now impossible, realizing that he couldn't pay certainly did not want his wife and children offered as a part of the payment and the misery that would follow.

The man falls down and please case verse 26. Please be patient with me and I will play in all know observe the master there is the king here is our God. When we come before him is broken people.

Symptoms of the core falling failing repeatedly in the wrong and we come to him, pleading that we be forgiven, and he notices that this man is contrite and broken. He's filled with pity for him and he releases him and forgives him the good that the man is totally forgiven free released on his way wonderful magnificent moment as he leaves the king's presence. He runs into a friend of his and we read of him. Beginning in verse 28 a fellow servant who owed him a few dollars of the throat pay me what you owe me. I like the IRS doesn't play me what you will hear just a few dollars.

So the man falls down amended big timber little more time asking for patients and if you will be patient with me I will play it, but his creditor wouldn't wait. He had had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.

It's an imaginary story go with it. The problem with this scene is that is observed by friends who know the story of the forgiven servant, and when they watch this. It troubles them. Verse 31 there very upset so they returned to the king and they told him everything that it happened. Then the king called the man that he had forgiven. He said to him, you evil servant's website. What what were you thinking what's the matter with you, I forgave you the tremendous debt because you pleaded with me and should you have mercy on your fellow servant just as I had mercy on you as a good place to pause for a couple of very helpful principles that I want you to forget first to refuse to forgive another is hypocritical before you rationalize around and start dealing with all the wrong that was done and as deep as the wrong ones, and I'm sure some of it was very injurious.

You deeply broke you broke others. You loved the ramifications of the wrongdoing you could go on prolonged I know I know I don't.

But to refuse to forgive another is hypocritical.

Why because you have been forgiven and an infinite amount. There is not one said that would be marked against you. He is able to bring us faultless before his presence with exceeding great joy. As we passed from earth to heaven. Not once. Will he say stand in the corner until you have John that probation. I've almost taken care of the things that you did not know that none of that is so foolish is not worth going there supercritical to refuse to forgive another is another principal and is far more practical to refuse to forgive inflicts inner torment Cedar to refuse to forgive another put you in your prison look for it. The angry's the angry king sent a man to prison look to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. How vivid is the word I checked the same word elsewhere in Matthew chapter 8 verse six. It's a reference to someone who is in quote terrible pain so it represents terrible pain is using second Peter two verse eight. Referring to lot who was surrounded and oppressed by the conduct of unprincipled men where we read the lots soul was like quote tormented day after day. This is a torture that torments day after day torturers refers to tormentors one who refuses to forgive another Harper's grudges sustains bitter feelings which leads to agonizing unrest and sleeplessness and one bill. The walls of his own soap made prison. Please observe something that is easily overlooked. The story ends at verse 34.

Look at your Bible. There is 1/35 verse. That's not a part of that story that imaginative story. It begins with social my heavenly father do to you. Wait, that's reality. Verse 35 Jesus adds that's what my heavenly father wants what he will do turn you over to torturers.

That's what I said earlier, you may have something to explain to you today that you've not realize before this day. That explains why you can sleep well that explains why you can't seem to get past whatever this unforgiveness journey is that you're wrong. So how much longer would you choose to remain in prison. That's a question that's a question you can answer your the only one that has the key to the cell. No one else has the key.

Who could it be that help could be your mother or your father could be a mother-in-law and father-in-law, a family member who took unfair advantage of you could be your ex-husband nor ex-wife, mother, mother-in-law, father-in-law, former boss, former pastor, former coach and authority figure and unfair teacher or roommate once trusted friend. The enemy may have died and be far removed but here you still with live within that prison let it go. Let it go on to tell you something that you wouldn't remember was 15 years ago 15 years ago, almost to this date that I preached on the subject, calling it, finding healing through forgiveness, but I preached that sermon differently. We were in the other building. The multipurpose room here in our new facilities at the time. I asked Cynthia the week before. If she would help me with that message and I said I would like for you to to speak when I finish explaining the passage I like you to give your story, she was reluctant she didn't feel she was the one to do that.

She didn't want to do it. I lived alone. I said you think about feel comfortable. Your story would be a magnificent story. What you don't know is that horror she lived with in her home. She was going north with a father that was always angry, always on one occasion tried to kill her mother beat the children and then on top of all that she marries me and coming would be as a mother-in-law and father-in-law who never really believed I should marry her. How many stories outside of school.

Cannot tell right now. As a result, there was a gap in our relationship when we began to have children all kinds of complications arose and Cynthia built up resentment for my mother and I would say fully understood love my mother but she was not an easy person to delight on occasion on a number of occasions. Matter fact and Cynthia lived with that. Plus with the memory of her dead through wonderful course. He took that was destined to change your life. She discovered that relief comes in the prison bars are open and she forgives, even without anyone asking to be forgiven. You don't wait for that you'll wait for that I'm is nice but you wait for that, you'll die waiting for most. So without anyone saying anything she said to me one day almost out of the blue. When your mother comes over today. I'm I am going to make things right. I'm going to sit down with her and tell her how much I love her for giving me the husband I have, and for providing the home that she did for you and that I'm not handling as well as a young mother in which you please forgive me my mother was hardly in the door before I left them alone. They were talking the details of that were between them and wish you were here to tell her story did in my mother quickly said of course forgive you and she was happy to tell a number of her friends that her daughter-in-law had asked forgiveness for her and that's okay. You know when you do this you do have any pride you you not try to look good to try to find peace and by the way, peace and calm, and Cynthia came to terms with this.

Three days later my mother died, my mother died I never forget the phone call from my dad and I said I'll be right there and I hung up I looked at Cynthia's is like it was yesterday is that mothers did Cynthia's eyes fill with tears and she said so glad that I made things right so Cynthia had suffered a deep depression for the longest time.

Part of the torturers struggle in relationships. Part of the torturers law that was released. You know what finding healing through forgiveness became the single most requested message ever delivered at this church and ever offered through Insight for living something a message my wife preached on telling but that's our story was yours. I know I know you will never come to a pulpit announce announce it.

You should is not necessarily something that usually public reason. This just seemed to fit.

And it did. God blessed but in your case is a shepherd of his flock. I long for all of us to have release and relief and to know what life was like outside the bars of our self-made prison. I like you to be free of your ex-husband, your former wife.

The hatefulness of a person who has made life miserable for you I like you to be able to live without once any further thinking of an individual. You're the secret you. You will not be able to forgive Carl. Carl deserved to die. As he died and to face eternity as he faced it. That's where I am and that were not dealing with and this is true as a soldier were dealing with you and with me, let's go there pleased by.

It's please don't get up to leave. Please stay right there isn't a time is a time for you to pull out that key and turn it in that cell door and release yourself from the awful call the acid of resentment.

The hate is eating away at your peace and calm us. It's time when a beautiful person you could become much easier would be to be with you and for you to live with yourself how great it would be for you to be relieved of that depression that has haunted you wanted you day and night long enough, never trusted in Jesus trusted him now and when you do ask him to give you the courage and the wisdom to release the enemy.

Amy Carmichael once wrote, if I say yes I forget but I cannot forget, as though the God who twice a day washes all the sands on all the shores of all the world could not wash such memories from my mind that I know nothing of Calvary love such great words in light of Calvary. Release your enemy, no matter what. Forgive, forget you might need help from a professional get help for goodness sake get help. You may need a passion to talk to talk to one of us, you name you may need someone to sit down and help you think through and work through the struggle. This may been going on for years. Scars like that are deep. Take time to heal over.

This is the time to begin today, I offer you healing through forgiveness. Thank you father for helping us find relief from the grudges, the ability to erase bitter feelings to be forever. Forever away from the agonizing unrest of torment hate take away the torturing as we go through the process of reaching the person who is held control of our lives long enough and may we know the joy of freedom lacks in the name of Jesus. We all pray everyone's a man Chuck Swindoll has disclosed a deeply personal story of forgiveness and redemption. Today is a result of hearing today's message.

We hope you're able to find the same kind of relief as you learn to loosen your grip on resentment. This is Insight for living and to discover the resources we have available for today's topic which comes from Matthew chapter 18, please visit us online head Insight world.org, you know, there's a common thread woven through the tapestry of insight for living's 42 years in ministry are daily visits together are often punctuated with moments of transparency and authenticity and grace when we're willing to drop our pretenses and open our hearts to the truth of God's word. That's when biblical truth takes root in our lives.

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