Caring Enough to Confront, Part 2

How should we respond. When someone offends first of all we need to model Jesus teachings were going to be a church. We need to do what church people.

If you have someone who opens you the very best thing you can do is privately talk with an individual and make every attempt to make things right. We handle those terribly awkward moments when someone sins against us was the biblical process for making things right turn the other cheek love them without judgment or should we address the offense had on today on Insight for living trucks went all this teaching from Matthew chapter 18, we find the quintessential passage on making things right with those who offend looking the other way serves no one shooting our will, hopefully, rightfully God has provided a rational healing titled his message caring enough things about way through the Bible verse by verse. You come upon sections that could easily be overlooked because their complicated or they are contradictory in the minds of people not in the Scriptures or their complicated and you're able to go through them and explain them off in the world of the expositor's unenviable and that you can't skip from one to another, because there are always a few of the congregation who say you didn't go over verses 15 through 20. When we were in Matthew 18. So today we will hopefully will come away with an understanding of what Jesus taught. Before we pray or want you to think about someone who is wrong. You, but you have not yet forgiven them right now you're holding a grudge when you think of them wrong things get into your mind, and as a result, the bridge of her relationship is broken down.

You didn't want that to begin with and now that's what's happened as the Lord to open your heart to what might be a better way to handle it, then you may have done. On the other hand, you may have handled it correctly and it simply was not to be and will see how to handle that as well. Let's pray together. Thank you father for addressing life as it is not so much as we would wish it to be that as it is, not only are we dealing with others who are sinful. We ourselves are just as simple. Not only are others, often stubborn.

We are often stubborn and not only do we own occasion finding necessary privately to talk to someone about an offense. There are times when others find it necessary to speak with us about our being offense. So with the shoe fitting both the may we realize you're talking to each one of us and maybe come away with an understanding of direction of how we should go remind us of the psalmist words I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will guide you with my on you. Do not be stubborn, but be ready to change.

Thank you father that though the words of friends were often difficult to hear. But though they wounded.

They are faithful they bring about changes that are necessary find in us a willingness to change. When we are confronted with those things that are inappropriate and even inexcusable. Thank you father for our model. Jesus went to the cross bearing all of our sins and never once holding back, but giving himself fully on our behalf at the cross at the cross reversal of the line.

Thank you Lord for your faithfulness to your word may then be seen again today is truth is set forth, and ultimately as minds are changed and lives as well.

Use our gifts, our father in a special way as you would use the food has been prepared to feed the starving children and remind us that as the money leaves our hands, but it is being used appropriately. It is being handled with integrity and for your greater glory. We commit the offering to you now as we commit our prayer to you in the name of Christ are seen everyone say study the book of Matthew with Chuck Swindoll. Be sure to download his searching the Scriptures by going to Insight world.org/studies another message from Chuck titled caring enough to confront an unaccountable life is not worth living. Because your life is running off the rails. You don't even know it.

You have enough brains and yourself in our brains and myself to know what I'm getting to near the edge so I need warnings from friends who love me and from a wife who cares for me from individuals who see I'm going to close to the this needs you need to give attention to this because in healthy relationships were, you're accountable. You welcome the ideal would be at this forget, Matthew 80 is a mentor. One of the reasons we love mentors is that they have the ability to point out those areas in our lives that that need attention and their blind spots to us. We were not aware they were doing this are saying this or that what we're doing or saying makes people uncomfortable when I'm with an individual who is not those rough edges.

I always know he or she has not been mentor when I'm with one who knows those areas. I know they've been mentor so faithful of the wounds of a mentor. Hopefully you can look back over your life and made two or three even now, I hope you have one or two still has the right to walk into your life. Talk with you about things that are very personal and private, handle them sensitively now than we come to Matthew chapter 18. I don't want to forget this, so I want to sit on the front in the saloon bit out of order carrying out much of this when it's done correctly is done with tears. This is an easily done is done often with sadness.

You're sensitive about bringing this up but you know what needs to be addressed so your to the you can you can sometime after fight back the tears you feel deeply about.

Now let's see what Jesus teaches here we are in a confrontation situation. A person has wrong you verse 15 if another believer sins against you. Watch closely, you'll learn exactly what to do, forget what you were told by the world system. Forget the habits you formed when you were in the military forget the way you grew up in the streets you learn the hard way. Forget the bad habits. When you ran roughshod over people listen to what Jesus is teaching be willing to follow his leading someone sins against go privately, privately, you don't do it in from the Bible study group.

You don't do it in front of the family you don't do it with a group of even group Christians you go privately, one on one. So that means go privately and point out the old fence meeting. What meeting you specify what it is that hurt you because you want to make it right. You want there to be a bridge you want to have a relationship and because that offense broke down part of that bridge you want to build it back so you're coming halfway in your bid bridge building process. Hopefully your listening friend will build his part or her part back toward you look at this new point out the offense. What if the other person listens and confesses it.

You have one that person back there you go to great goal.

The ultimate goal is restoration and you've restored there was a breakdown in communication. You no longer have a reason to hold a grudge. You no longer think less of the person.

In fact, you remember with delight.

The, the blending and the healing of the wound and back it says further other person listens and confesses you have one that person back but there may not be an acknowledgment from the other side you had that happen. So what I what we do.

Then Jesus tells us. If you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you, take one or two others with you and go back again so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. Now were not teaming up on the person were not trying to corner room but having another two or three people with you verifies the reality of the wrong chances are good the person is done wrong to others as well.

In the same way so you got someone there were two or three others and is based on Deuteronomy 1915 when you take others when you go back and deal with the situation.

Now, it may not be successful. Jesus being a realist goes further and now you go with one or two others and hopefully that person will hear the other two with you and will acknowledge that wrong is been done, but that may not be successful if the person still refuses to listen, watch closely. Be careful when you get to passages like this because you can take it to an extreme.

You can make it say some things it's not saying see what he says if the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church this and Matthew 1618, are the only two places in all of Matthew where the church is mentioned. The church hasn't even been established yet as of congregation is a body separate synagogues and that was never called church so this will be a representative group of believers.

In our case within the church could be the elders take the situation to those who represent the church. Other words we don't bring every offense in front of the congregation. Let's return the congregation into a courtroom would spend our time doing little more than solving conflicts so be reasonable in your interpretation when you take this to the church. I suggest you take it to some group within the church.

That's confidential what can be handled with wisdom handled biblically with compassion and said there's no delight in this except in the thought that we may be solving a conflict, but all were engaged in it, or sad about this conflict going on and they want to see it was all so we read then if he or she still won't accept the church's decision tree that person is a pagan. There are people who will read only that verse and say that's the reason I want nothing to do with the church because the church is nothing but a bunch of judgmental people that verse is been jerked out of context. If you think that if that's your opinion, it falls in the context of this whole process you go through all of these other places. And now he says you come to the place where there is a refusal to acknowledge wrong. Now you're dealing with a rebellious believer who will not accept the reality of an offense which is not trivial. It's important enough to bring it before a body within the church at that point. If there isn't a willingness to submit and repent and be restored that individual is to be removed from the fellowship and the joy of what the church brings Paul did this, I should say the church in Corinth did this and and Paul's statement is you have not handled it correctly. This man is living with his father's will, wife, and as a result you are rejoicing and that your your consider yourselves free. Not worried about the immoral lifestyle of that individual in pulses is not to be handled like that.

This person should be dealt with in the way that Jesus describes. I only get that lightly, because I want you to know the seriousness of the situation. If he won't accept the church's decision tree that person is a pagan and then he adds this keep it in context, I tell you the truth, whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven.

Whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven some very difficult verse to translate part of the reason is the particular verbs that are translated will be forbidden and will be permitted more accurately should be rendered will have been forbidden and will have been permitted translating a future perfect passive in the verb stem. The idea is not that God is compelled to conform to the church's decisions. But when the church follows the Lord's directions. That's Christ's pattern for discipline. It conforms its decision to what God has already determined God is pleased that we carry out what he has decided he has forbidden this and we have determined to do so. He has permitted those things and we permitted them as well and the first is that follow their reason is I tell you this if two of you here on earth agree on anything. My father in heaven will do it for you that is in agreement with the whole issue of discipline. And here's a way one man puts it all likely easy as described. When the church acts in God's behalf, and in accordance with his word and matters dealing with sin in the body. God acts in their behalf by confirming and empowering their faithful and difficult decisions and actions who desire to please him, he will honor such obedience.

Probably that's what the end of it is saying 40 states. I am there among you, I am in your midst when you were doing the difficult thing to say some practical things and again with a story that I doubt that you will ever forget a true story. First of all we need to model Jesus teachings were going to be a church.

We need to do what church people ought to do that is a body of believers.

If you have someone who opens you the very best thing you can do this privately talk with an individual don't broadcast it. Don't tell others of it.

Don't do it in the group go privately and make every attempt to make things right.

You will be amazed how often that will be enough. There will be an acknowledgment and the wrong will be confessed and then there will be the the remaking of a relationship and the bridges built back sometime you will find it necessary to take a friend or two with you to help the person realize the seriousness of what you're dealing with. Remember the tears remember the sadness.

None of this is done with delight. Admittedly we went we do it out of obedience to what Christ is teaching and we do it with great sensitivity because we want to do the right thing the right way at the right time. Sometime it is so serious that there must be church discipline, which is followed here in the way Jesus describes it. We follow and we want to do what Jesus is to it is teaching, let me say secondly, we must guard against extreme the first extreme is to become too severe as a congregation when I was younger as a pastor I was too severe and often goes with you. I saw things and always black or white, right or wrong. What good are bad and as you grow older you gain some wisdom and you realize there may be more to the strong than we realize there there was and so you are you are careful to get more of the information. If you are too severe and too demanding and lacking in grace, you will cultivate a legalism among the congregation and we become a body of of severe saints, rather than loving caring saints on the other hand, we can become our religious country club and anything goes. Others no standard of holiness.

There are no biblical boundaries were soft on immorality were soft on the breakdown in relationships any lifestyle is fine, just keep enlarging the rights of the church. That's the other extreme. Neither extreme is healthy. So I have found that it is ideal when we carry out what Christ is teaching that we keep in mind the ultimate objectives. And I must tell you, turn to Galatians chapter 6 please turn verse one and I will draw from there. The ultimate object. Galatians 61 dear brothers and sisters. If another believer is overcome by some sin. You are who are godly should gently and humbly notice the words gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. Chuck Swindoll is addressing a highly personal topic that impacts us all. And it requires courage and compassion to sit down with someone who's lost their way. You're listening to Insight for living and there's much more teaching. We need to hear in this message.

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