Caring Enough to Confront, Part 1

Most of us loathe the very idea of confronting a friend was falling, no thank you.

Rather suffer the consequences get engaged in an awkward conversation is fallen into sin today on Insight for living. Chuck Swindoll invites us to turn with him to Matthew chapter 18 in this passage we find the biblical process were properly dealing with another sin. Over the next few programs begin a whole new appreciation for what the Bible says and doesn't say about personal intervention entitled today's message caring enough to confront your worship folder you will find an outline that will guide us through the morning. In the message out of Matthew chapter 18 and not you will. You can leave it folded and put it at Romans chapter 12 where we will begin the message you shortly. First I want to read for you. These few verses out of Matthew chapter 18 Were Working Our Way through the gospel by Matthew and we have come to a very practical few verses that if you have a red letter addition of the Bible. You'll notice all of these verses are in red, which tell you that that tells you that these are the words of Jesus I say that only because when reading over them, one might think this was written by one of the apostles, or perhaps one who was a delegate of the apostles, but these are words directly from the mouth of Jesus, recorded by Matthew and I'm referring to verses 15 through 20. In Matthew chapter 18 they have to do with confronting someone who has wronged us, someone who has sinned against us, I'm reading from the new living translation of this morning. If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense if the other person listens and confesses it.

You have one that person back.

But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church then if he or she won't accept the church's decision treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector. I tell you the truth, whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven. I also tell you this if two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask my father in heaven will do it for you for over two or three gathered together as my followers I am there among them. What is true of all sections of Scripture where there can be a miss interpretation is certainly true of this one because churches are going to extremes. This passage has been used as a basis for their actions when in fact there was never justification for such and even those who claim that whatever you want from God. If two or three of you agree on it.

God's going to give it to you based on what we just read all that is to be clarified to study the book of Matthew with Chuck Swindoll. Be sure to download his searching the Scriptures by going to inside world.org/study another message from Chuck titled caring enough to confront what you do when someone takes you all, or you will really complicated what you do when some Christian takes you all rich you all don't look at me like that, you look like cherubs right now like movie using the know how many of you right now are bearing a grudge against someone because you have refused to follow the direction of the Scriptures in dealing with wrongdoing from another. You see, we take our cues from the world system all the way through life and then we come to the cross and we come to Christ and we discover there's a whole new set of directions for us to follow in the difficulty in following them is we have to unlearn it.

So many of the things that we had well, we had made habits out of before. For example, holding grudges and blaming other people and seeing ourselves as victims rather than simply going working through getting tested building a bridge and cultivating a continued relationship as would cause one way to write this to dwell above with saints we love will be glory, but to live below with saints we know will is another story.

It's true we were in heaven were all justified glorified petrified.

Everything is done right and not petrified were all freed and without a sin nature in life is beautiful. From then on that world long ways from their will.

Some of us are little closer there than others, but were all distant from there right now.

So on this earth, we we have to deal with the fact that there are others who wrong us and is in fair and the tendencies to see ourselves as victims were back in the 1960s of folksinger named Anna Russell made a little folksong popular fellow humerus averse to it.

But back behind the scenes when you get to the end. It hits with a punch she sings I went to my psychiatrist to be cycle analyzed to find out why I killed the cat like my husband's eyes.

He laid down accounts to see what he could find it and this is what he dredged up from my subconscious mind when I was one. My mommy hit my dolly in the trunk so it follows naturally that I'm always drunk when I was to us. So my father kissed the maid one day. That's why suffer now from kleptomania when I was three, I felt ambivalence toward my brothers, so it follows naturally poison all my lovers when I want happy now that I've learned the lesson. This is thought that everything I do this wrong is someone else's fault wrong. Everything I do this wrong is my fault. Now that's not politically correct as well like it is not the kind of information you'll get from the world system because of the world system you're taught other people rip you off. So the way you get back is to get even memorable about the book. Never forget an offense and when their name comes up.

Remember the offense and then we become converted to Christ and he shows us a whole new way but we discovered that the new way hold on now. The new way is not necessarily the easy way. Matter fact I learned in life that the best way is usually the hardest way, at least initially.

But before I get there.

I want you to look at Romans chapter 12 beginning at verse hold on Romans 12 beginning at verse 39 listen to these little staccato imperatives, the little brief commands. 12 nine don't just pretend to love others really love them less great counsel. That's hard. Let's keep reading. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good by the way, that doesn't come naturally, you grow up loving what's wrong and hating what's good when the old nature wends its way that's the way you go in the next verse love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other what great counsel honoring each other. That includes honoring our children that includes honoring people. We could otherwise take advantage of honoring people who see things differently than we see. He goes on never be lazy but work hard in serving and serve the Lord enthusiastically rejoice and are confident hope the patient in trouble. Keep on praying God's people are in need we be ready to help always be eager to practice hospitality through the list goes on. Bless those who persecute you. Don't don't curse them.

Pray that God will bless them be happy with those who are happy we with those who we were better at the latter than we are. The former, by the way we we little more easily than we rejoice with those who rejoice upward live in harmony with each other. Don't be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people don't think you know it all. Never pay back evil with more evil do things in such a way that everyone can see can see you are honorable. Do all you can to live in peace with everyone while your friends never take revenge leave that to the righteous anger of God, one after another after another after another after another after another after another. You live like that all were talking good night sleep. Night after night were talking bridge building relationships were talking being the kind of person that's magnetic others can't stay away from you.

You be living a life that's marked by loving and learning from others because it's such a healthy life of accountability. You will observe and you will affirm other people you learn from what they have done or what they have said you will be grateful and you'll encourage you. You'll even counsel one another and you'll be grateful for what they tell you the wisdom that comes from the lips of others.

Always things first occur in the whole. By the way, as were growing up, get this, we grow up in our parents or their caregivers counsel to point out this is wrong. That's right, don't do this do that and we grow up hearing it year after year, year after year.

I remember being so impressed with our older son because from the earliest years, he had his own room in this particular whole were relived and in his his bed was made, every day immediately became a teenager.

His bed was made, every day.

I was so impressed with that one day open his closet to get something and I saw the reason there is a sleeping bag in his closet that he opened up on the bed every night and he said the sleeping bag and left his bedmate and I said to encourage you. You sleep in a sleeping bag is that I know dad making up a bit. Everyday is done is let out a sleeping bag, kids can teach you so much. I've suggested that the Savior but she doesn't doesn't like that idea. As you growing up in the you get over that you don't want your person tell you what what you should and should not do it bothered you should be responsible enough to do it on your own. You build your own boundaries. Ideally, you learn what's right and what's wrong. Ideally in those areas that you missed a good friend picks up where they left off a good friend will tell you the truth you I hope you have some friends like that. In fact, write in the margin of your Bible, Proverbs 27, six Proverbs 27, six faithful are the wounds W you in the ass. Wounds of a friend. Faithful are the wounds of a friend as a closeted stem in the Hebrew it means faithful are the bruises caused by the wounding of one who loves you if you don't have a friend who is free to wound you as you have a good friend that is not all they do, of course.

Of course that's not all. But when it needs to be done. They don't hesitate to do it correctly. They do it privately. They do it lovingly and some time with tears, but they do it because there faithful to you as a friend hold on. You grow a little older and you may meet your partner in life and you marry. So now you've got a built-in point of counsel that laugh you got a built-in husband, built-in wife part of that, what comes with that is the freedom to tell the truth in a relationship is what it should be is a truthful relationship. I'm not talking about constant confrontation. I'm talking about essential confrontation. Who else is going to well yes you can go to work and you may have a boss, a leader that points out things so you have someone there really all the way through life.

There are those that you that we confront now all of that is sort of built into a healthy point of accountability which leads me to say this and unaccountable life is not worth living.

Because your life is running off the rails. You don't even know it. You have no brains in yourself and am having a brains and myself to know what I'm getting to near the edge so I need warnings from friends who love me and from a wife who cares for me from individuals who see I'm going to close to the edge. This needs you need to give attention to this because in healthy relationships were, you're accountable.

You welcome the ideal would be at this forget, Matthew 80 is a mentor. One of the reasons we love mentors is that they have the ability to point out those areas in our lives that that need attention and their blind spots to us. We were not aware they were doing this are saying this or that.

What were doing or saying makes people uncomfortable when I'm with an individual who is not those rough edges.

I always know he or she has not been mentor when I'm with one who knows those areas.

I know they been mentor so faithful of the wounds of a mentor. Hopefully you can look back over your life in a two or three even now, I hope you have one or two still has the right to walk into your life. Talk with you about things that are very personal and private, handle them sensitively now than we come to Matthew chapter 18. I don't want to forget this, so want to see on the front in those little bit out of order carrying out much of this when it's done correctly is done with tears.

Susan easily done is done often with sadness. You're sensitive about bringing this up but you know what needs to be addressed so your to the you can you can sometime have to fight back the tears you feel deeply about it. Now let's see what Jesus teaches here we are in a confrontation situation. A person has wrong you verse 15 if another believer sins against you.

Watch closely, you'll learn exactly what to do, forget what you were told by the world system. Forget the habits you formed when you were in the military forget the way you grew up in the streets you learn the hard way.

Forget the bad habits.

When you ran roughshod over people listen to what Jesus is teaching be willing to follow his leader leading someone sins against go privately, privately, you don't do it in from the Bible study group. You don't do it in front of the family you don't do it with a group of even group of Christians you go privately, one on one. So that means go privately and point out the old fence meeting.

What meeting you specify what it is that hurt you because you want to make it right. You want there to be a bridge you want to have a relationship and because that offense broke down part of that bridge you want to build it back so you're coming halfway in your build bridge building process. Hopefully your listening friend will build his part or her part back toward you look at this, you point out the offense watch. If the other person listens and confesses it.

You have one that person back there you go. It's a great goal. The ultimate goal is restoration and you've restored there was a breakdown in communication.

You no longer have a reason to hold a grudge. You no longer think less of the person. In fact, you remember with delight.

The, the blending and the healing of the wound. In fact, it says further other person listens and confesses you have one that person back but there may not be an acknowledgment from the other side you had that happen so what we do. Then Jesus tells us. If you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you, take one or two others with you and go back again so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. Now were not teaming up on the person were not trying to corner room but having another two or three people with you verifies the reality of the wrong chances are good the person is done wrong to others as well. In the same way so you got someone there were two or three others and is based on Deuteronomy 1915 where you take others when you go back and deal with the situation. I like the way one man writes about it, we should immediately put our complaint into words.

The worst thing we can do about a wrong is to brewed about that is fatal it can poison the whole mind and life until we can think of nothing else but our sense of personal injury any such feelings should be brought out into the open face and stated, and often the very stinking of it will show how trivial the whole thing is if we have a difference with someone. There is only one way to settle it and that is face-to-face now, it may not be successful. Jesus being a realist goes further and now you go with one or two others and hopefully that person will hear the other two with you and will acknowledge that wrong is been you're like me, guessing God is bringing someone to your mind.

Perhaps it's a relationship in disrepair or someone you love who's lost their way. Please keep listening because we've devoted two more programs to this practical topic caring enough to confront your listening to the Bible teaching of Pastor Chuck Swindoll he's teaching for Matthew chapter 18 and to see what resources are available for today's topic, please visit us online@insightworld.org, you know, there's a common thread woven through the tapestry of insight for living is 42 years in ministry. No matter where life takes us.

We know nothing brings more clarity than focusing on the promises of God recorded in his word, even the tough issues such as the one Chuck is addressing right now and when you partner financially with this ministry you can be sure that your donations are deployed for this very purpose. We point people to the truth of the Bible and God's word never returns void as an investor in insight for living me encourage you with the comment we received.

He said Chuck I'm a pastor and I've been listening to you for the past 25 years you've been an anchor in my life with teaching and preaching.

We don't get the chance to meet each other in this life. Be ready for a life hereafter while insight for living touches a lot of live. Even those who are shepherding, patient and listeners like this one have access to insight for living because people like you step forward financial support. Gratefully, our loyal, listening, family has continued to uphold this historic ministry through the grueling pandemic because of your generosity. We haven't missed a single day of sharing program with you can give a donation today by calling us listening in the United States dial 1-800-772-8888, 1-800-772-8888 or go online to insight.again, Swindoll continues to talk about caring enough to run Friday insight for living.

The preceding message caring enough to confront was copyrighted in 2017 and 2021 and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2021 by Charles are swindling. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited