Secrets of a Nurturing Home, Part 1

Few relationships touch our hearts deeper than the one between parent and child. Surely you can recall those tender moments when you write your first child home from the hospital, start the brand-new adventure of child-rearing today on Insight for living Chuck Swindoll's teaching from Ephesians chapter 6 Paul offers timeless wisdom to moms and dads about cultivating healthy home, whether you're in the throes of family life, or perhaps watching your children family of their own. There's practical help for everyone. Chuck titled today's message secrets of a nurturing. I like to read for you. First, from Ephesians chapter 6 and then have you put your finger also at Proverbs 22. Read a verse from there as well be read from the New Testament first. Ephesians 61 to 4 that I want to read verse six of Proverbs 22 just have that ready remember every time we open the Scriptures we are hearing the word of God that has been preserved for our instruction, that we through patience and comfort from the scriptures might have hope. Paul writes in Romans 15 for this is to give us hope.

Ephesians 61 children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord that if you will turn back to Proverbs 22 verse six Proverbs 22 six find that train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it or to download his searching the Scriptures.

Studies by going to Insight world.org/studies. Today's message is titled secrets of a nurturing home today I want to talk about parenthood.

Knowing people as I do when you just use the word parenthood are parenting you immediately raise up all kinds of emotions, some of them good, some of them even great when you remember your being raised by parents as you were. Perhaps it was your joyful experience to know a father who was faithful and her mother who was diligent both of them loved it and almost adored you as you grew up their arms were often around you and they affirmed you at every turn. It seemed I looking back to the parenting of your past you have feelings of days when you were made to feel secure encouraged to go on so that you were prepared for life as it unfolded in before you and the converse is also true. Many of you. I dare would guess most of you find yourself with darker feelings and more disappointment. Perhaps yours was the horror of a parent who was not faithful and maybe you hardly even remember your father and you do your best not to call to mind.

Even your mother.

They were neither faithful nor caring. You were just sort of brought up and let go. To add to the possible tragedy. You may have known abuse in your past and unfair treatment that was that was permitted by parents who should have stopped and didn't.

And while were journeying here into the past. We could also mention the very real factor that none of us has known perfect homes and families. We we have may have come from good homes, but they weren't perfect, our father was not all he could have been on our mother while we needed more did not provided but she wasn't a bad mother just wasn't everything we needed. Knowing that there is a full spectrum of those individuals sitting and listening right now. I took this message to the Lord a long time ago and said II need I need just the right way to begin to get everybody on the same page because I know were not my story is in your story on the person sitting next to you has a story different from both you and interesting.

It so happened that on that very day when I was asking for those directions of the book arrived at my home in a package from my long time and wonderful friend Dr. John Trent, a new book he's written I wouldn't do it all struggles I had in preaching resolve with the delivery to my door and he opened the package and here is the answering. Yet, this one brought an answer this this story and it's John's story, not mine. But listen to it. Don't miss a word. It will help us all the same page. She should have been better in broken and frozen inside.

She had every reason to be every right to be. If you want to be politically correct. Her father had chosen to spend her childhood years, far away from his family as he tried and failed to keep a dying farm from sinking into the dust bowl years later after only a year of marriage. Her husband walked into the big sun parlor in their house in Indiana and announced that their relationship was over there was another woman. Then came a moved to Phoenix to this to see the sun again a new start and one day a new marriage, then the long-awaited birth of children, three boys and older son, plus a set of twins in just three years. Then a reply, then a replay of the conversion in the Indiana sun parlor. Let me read it again, then a replay of the conversation in the Indiana sun parlor. Another husband came home to say there was another woman, and he was leaving no there would be no further discussion and in the future. No financial help, nor even a card or visit with the boys as they grew up. The three most significant man in my mother's life all walked away from her father when she was a child and then to husbands who didn't merely leave but who underscored their sudden departures by choosing someone else. I find it interesting that God gave my mom. Three young boys to raise the Lord and 10 this is a way to make up for the missing men in her life. I'm not sure but I do know that she could have grown, full of anger and hurt and shame and self-pity. Instead she remained vibrant and alive, warm and loving which always amazed me.

It doesn't usually happen that way we live life as as if it were a motion picture says author Gerald sits loss turns life into a snapshot. The movement stops everything freezes. That's what I've seen over the years in the lives of so many people I've counseled people who have suffered great loss people shrink-wrapped and shelved by crushing failures or turned to stone inside because of grief or love lost forever. It should have happened to her.

She should have shut down close the book on growth and creativity in connection if not for the people losses she suffered, and certainly for all the physical losses that added injury to insult rheumatoid arthritis would twist her hands tear up her knees and take away an outstanding career, a corporate vice presidency significant enough to merit a write up in the Wall Street Journal all ripped away. So, too, was any realistic chance of remarrying as her bones dried up her spirit to should have dried and cracked and broken.

She should've given up, particularly on me.

I was the one who would sit was asked to leave grade school for a stupid mistake. I was the one who police card at home late one night I was the one who brought home report card so dismal they wouldn't qualify me to ask paper or plastic mom never gave up on life or learning or friends or needy people of the Lord or her sons without a doubt, she was the most giving, loving person I've ever known, even in her last days she glowed a description given by one of her hospice nurses. But why what enabled her to carry on what gave her the strength to continue. How could she do it after a night of crying out in pain from the arthritis. Each time she rolled over in bed. She could still greet us with a genuine smile in the morning for years. I wondered how and what was it that allowed her to look beyond her own pain and loss and adopt hurting kids the way other people bring home straight But was it that kept her mind alert and her arthritic fingers still tapping across her computer keyboard she got on the Internet before I did.

Why didn't she daily wrap up her regrets and hurts put down my father in front of us or take the Council of Job's wife and curse God and die as her secret.

Today I realized that she really did have a secret secret that all of us can discover and learn and use. Mom had a way of continually connecting to a source of strength and energy and life in recovery and wellness that filled her life to overflowing in the process she changed so many lives that her her funeral at her funeral. The chapel couldn't begin to contain the throngs who arrived to pay their regrets were there with the respect and those who couldn't get inside hung around outside for the whole service when I first what I first saw in my mother I've seen since seen reflected in the lives of many can courageous authentic empowering people of every race page and and a tax bracket this secret help mom keep a positive perspective through all her years of chronic pain and soured relationships.

So what was her secret what enabled her to thrive to glow. Despite the tragedies in her life into words.

She chose to be there for others. She lifted her eyes to others carrying even deeper hurts the template were given in the Scriptures for how to be there is exactly what my mom follow to connect so deeply with us boys and it's reflected in countless studies of strong families, great marriages and deep friendships. What John Trent called being there in two words. I called in one word, nurturing netherworld on the same page since that story is so full of reality and the potential of a home that could have self-destructed. And yet the hope of a woman who chose another way I want to hold out a fresh hope to every person listening to me today, regardless of the home you come from, regardless of the mess you have made in the home where you are now. It is never too late to start doing what is right in the secret is nurturing in our study of the letter to the Ephesians we come to the last chapter.

Believe it or not some of you wondered if we would ever ever get there. We have arrived not saying will be through quickly, but we come to the last chapter, and it is full of some of the most practical words Paul ever wrote. He's written to talk to wives at the end of chapter 5 and to husbands at the end of chapter 5, and now he writes to children at the end. At the beginning of chapter 6 and had to fathers in verse four of chapter 6 and everything within this preacher is tempted to come down hard on children obey it's right there in the Bible on her. You don't you won't live well and you'll die young. It's all right there. I could come down like that, this pulpit that I can say fathers stop provoking your children to wrath you how impatient we all are quitting and then market pray in the middle of the home. None the better for it.

But I feel good because I'd talk with the Scriptures to but waited you know what that kind of instruction, preaching helps nobody, not even the preacher invite you leave the preacher thinking he did some good, when in fact he could've driven the situation even deeper.

Let's all get on the same page and understand we are all sinners, we all have failed and we all will fail. Our parents failed in areas with us. They didn't want to. They didn't sit on the bed in the morning saying let's see, how can I make a real mess of my family today and then carried it out.

It's not like that.

No one in his or her right mind ever starts a day like that. But in spite of how positive we may feel as we get started in the day, something snaps something happens and return back to habits that were formed by those who raised us to form their habits from those who raised them and there's no break in the cycle and we find ourselves just like our parents and their parents. I suggest the secret is in nurturing and you will break the cycle nurturing. I don't want to start in Ephesians 6 I don't want to yield to the temptation of jumping right in with both feet.

I want to go back to Proverbs 22 verse six and I want to surprise you with the words, this verse does not teach what you thought all your life.

How's that for encouragement on all your life you thought you knew what it meant to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. Meaning what you're the parent he's the child or she's the child.

You know the right way and you're going to make it happen. Which means you take him or her to Sunday school every Sunday you make sure they sit through church.

Though they may be terribly bored.

They stay there. You make sure the senior pastor dedicates the child to the Lord, teach them to pray, to sing the songs of the faith to go to vacation Bible school, religious, summer camps to make certain if you can afford to put them into a Christian school. You pray at every meal you read Bible stories every night, you force them to memorize Scripture because the memorize Scripture will help his mind, and you go after that with both barrels and you make sure is in the youth group and he runs around with the kids at church. That's that should've given you a little hint right there because you do all these things you take him in the way he should go. You know the way because that's the way you were ready. And that's the way they were raised, but that is not the way the verse in Proverbs 22 six begins with training. It doesn't say jerk up.

It doesn't say force in it says train up. In fact, the original Hebrew verb comes from the action of a midwife would take her finger and after helping in the birth of this child would dip her finger in the pool of crushed chart.

Yes, crushed dates or grapes and would reach inside the mouth of the newborn and would create a sucking sensation created first cleanse the palate and believed to cleanse the system came to mean the whole idea of dedicating or setting apart by the cultivation of a thirst. So right away were disarmed. The parents immediate task is to create and cultivate a first for that which pleases God and that which will be for the well-being of the child. So we have that on our hearts. When children are born we do what we can to cultivate a thirst.

Please observe the next phrase, a child in the way he should go. If we are to cultivate a thirst in the chicken a child of whatever age he still living under our roof. What is the way should go look in the margin of your Bible. If you're carrying a new American Standard Bible.

It may help you with the rendering according to his way now.

Don't turn it off yet. Stay with me train up a child according to his way, the term way.

He is the Hebrew word Derek DER K transliterated. It's used to describe mannerism are characteristic. In fact, it came originally from the idea of making a path a way it later was used by the psalmist for putting 1 foot on a low and pulling the boat caught where you can string the bow before you would shoot an arrow. The idea of bending the boom so that it now can handle an arrow send it to its target came to mean that or Ben's, the whole idea of shaking talking about the secrets of a nurturing home and as you can hear, we've only touched the surface. In this presentation from Chuck Swindoll to learn more about insightful living ministries. Please visit us online@insightworld.org. Now we set aside several minutes to hear a personal comment from Chuck and our study in Ephesians 6 will extend into the next two programs as well. Just before I turn the microphone over to Chuck.

I like to direct your attention to a classic book that's become a favorite in the Swindoll household at this time of year it's a one-of-a-kind coffee table book that illustrates with paintings and stories 250 favorite Bible stories, meta-pictures are masterpieces and the stories are written in simple language, making this the perfect book to read with your children and grandchildren at Christmas is called Crago's treasury of illustrated Bible stories, either for yourself or to give to a friend or family member. This keepsake will elevate your understanding of the true Christmas story to purchase the coffee table book called Kregel's treasury of illustrated Bible stories. Call us if you're listening in the United States dial 1-800-772-8888 or go online to insight.org/store in these more than 40 years of ministry that insightful living has been teaching the Bible, I've never witnessed a year quite light, 20, 20, chances are you have an easier this was a year defined by general enormous disruptors. The disruptors are personal disasters that derailed our plans and stole any modicum of peace would come to enjoy the number one disruptor. Of course, was the unnerving coronavirus, but make no mistake, the chaos cannot be isolated to a contagious flu bug alone. In addition, covert seem to ignite a powder keg of emotions that exploded like bombshells in our political and civil discourse and the end result. Our world is embroidered in the diabolical war against itself. These are serious days and now you're probably thinking on chart lighten up a little. I know I know is not like me to paint such a dark and hopeless picture but I would deny the obvious. If I didn't acknowledge the minefield of troubling issues that litter our path today, so here's where I turned the corner lest we think were trekking through uncharted territory. Let's pause to remember Jesus has been down this road before impact.

When you think back, his times were rife with crisis just desires our impact when the baby Jesus broke under the human stage in Bethlehem, the political climate in Rome was deep and treacherous Caesar Augustus was demanding of sentences and Herod the great was on a rampage of fury and it was no accident that Jesus arrived when he did remember Paul's words when the fullness of time came, God sent forth his son, Galatians 44 20 Matt was Jesus arrived right on time.

Ultimately Jesus died on the cross right on time and later walked out of the grave right on time. I believe that God has appointed insightful living ministries to declare the truth about Jesus for such a time as this. It is right on time. He is our only hope.

Christ is still the one who is able to bring light when all around us is dark as night.

God is still with us in this year of loss and violence division arguments and pandemic.

So now as we turn the page and come to the end of this chapter called 2020. I'm asking you to join me in proclaiming the truth about Jesus with a world that's overcome with fear. Look, I'm keenly aware that many of our listening family have endured financial setbacks this year. I realize that and I stand with you some waiver or capable of giving on their behalf above and beyond in any case, I can assure you that your much-needed year-end gift will become a light to those who are walking in darkness. Any amount God places on your heart to give to insightful living ministries will make all the difference. You can imagine and it will make a difference to those in need. Together, let's assure them of this. You are not alone. God is still on the throne and he's always right on time.

Thanks, Chuck.

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The preceding message secrets of a nurturing home was copyrighted in 2000 2001 and 2009 and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2009 by Charles R. Swindoll.

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