Building Wise Friendships - Part 2

Welcome to the intense podcast for Tuesday, October 18. He struggled with loneliness. Today's podcast that help you overcome these powerful feeling. Here's part two left building wise friendships. When you think about your friendship. Let me simply say that your friends wrote that is if you have been a true, genuine, loving, caring, devoted and loyal friends that one of the greatest asset you have in your life and because their assets in your life you have to handle it takes time. It takes effort takes energy and often times people say why just don't have any friends and I wish I did what you have to ask is you trying to build friendships.

Are you trying to build relationships or do you just expect them to happen is the casual friendships all happen real, true, genuine, loving, loyal, devoted friends don't happen then not found there, built, and the quality of the material replacing that friendship will determine how long it lasts and how satisfying it is an open times we are in too big a hurry.

We don't want to spend the time we don't spend the effort, yet we still want those kind of friendships they don't come that way. So think about this whole idea because when you think about friendships. Think about this one. The first things that our Lord said was this, he said, having created Adam. He looked around at all this absolutely perfect garden and I here's Adam all by himself and he said it's not good that man be alone now when the Bible speaks of man usually is talking about mankind, at least in some verses and so it certainly not good for a man to be alone or a woman to be alone. That's what God said so in fact he was so persuaded and convinced of that.

He gave Adam E that is, he desired that he have a relationship that he have a friendship and so he created her and God made us for relationships or companions and for friendship and it is not good for us to live alone. I think anyone who lives alone can say while the Lord maybe has brought us to the sense of satisfaction and contentment is still not good in lots of ways to be alone and so God knew that and therefore he made preparation for when you think, for example, the Scriptures about how many of God's servants down through the years had friends surrounding them. For example, in fact, the Bible says that God said that Abraham was his friend that he was a friend to Abraham and you recall that Moses had done a run and Joshua as his very intimate) that helped him.

You recall that David had Jonathan, but he also had many other very loyal, devoted friends who would've given their life for him.

And of course all of us remember Daniel the prophet Daniel. He had three very devoted friends of Shadrach me shack in the Bendigo they will all such good friends to Daniel, they were willing to risk their lives on the basis of a conviction that he had and that they shared in the Lord Jesus Christ and certainly had his friends and 12 disciples and the he knew them. He loved them and they loved him and then among those 12. He had three very intimate friends. That is, Peter, James and John not favorites but intimates in the apostle Paul when you read the epistles you discover that the apostle Paul had numbers of friends and he would say would you please tell Luke to come to see me are a Timothy whoever it might've been had numbers of friends have lots to say about them because they were very important to in fact one of the greatest asset you and I have is a loyal, devoted and faithful friend. And when we don't have those there's something missing in our life and some will simply ask you, can you look around in your life today and say well yes I do have one to three of those friends.

If you have three of those kind of friends you are so very very blessed now the big question is this how do I develop that kind of relationship hello I build that kind of friendship with anyone but we go back to say. Remember that often times our background has an effect upon the way we were treated done have to be just necessary in your childhood but will you mentoring your adulthood the way we've been treated in the past often times highly influences our capacity to be able to build wise wise relationships wise friendships so when I want to do is I want to give you a list of things that I know will prove helpful and I'll simply want to put in this way that that is we build wise friendships.

Quinn I'm going to give you a list of things we build wise friendships when we share this in a deep mutual concern. Now that's not the only reason. So I'm going to say that's just one of many is not the most important one, but it is a basic one. We build wise friendships when we can share a deep mutual interest. Now all of us who are believers have a wonderful mutual interest. Now if you want to build a wise friendship wise relationship that mutual interest is a believer should always be is certainly a part of that should be the Lord Jesus Christ. If you have a relationship in a friendship that you can never mention his name that the other person being slightly objecting to it up you like a little push me is something wrong with that relationship unless it is relationship that you billing to lead this person to Jesus Christ, then I can understand that but we talk about building friendships, loyal, devoted, loving friendships. First of all, certainly that's going to begin with a mutual sense of deep interest in and things that you have together, then this is a very important one. We can build these kind of friendships, wise friendships.

Quinn this is very important because only comment about this and will plan that friendship is based on my meeting their needs not being there meeting my needs. That is, if my friendship is built on the fact that I'm needy and I need the other person that friendship probably will not go very far. Now I believe that God wants to bring all of us to the place where he is absolutely sufficient in our life. So I know in my own life.

For example, I've lived long enough a number of years now alone and I know that God does know how and that he can bring us to the place in their life and listen carefully where we do not feel needy. We don't need anyone that I didn't say we do not need people but that we don't have this needed this so that I relationships and friendships are based on. I need this I need you on need that I need him on eight her because those kind of relationships don't really last very long. Often times, but the Lord Jesus Christ in our heart can bring us to a point of such absolute completeness and adequacy, sufficiency, completeness, contentment in him that we then can build bearing godly wise wonderful content think energizing motivating friendships because it isn't based on the it is based now on. How can I help this person. How can I meet their needs.

How can I be the person they need me to be to them and so there is a difference between developing a friendship based on this very needy.

I need you kind of feeling and I must have you, feeling, and a freedom from all of that. That makes it possible for us to build very wise, godly content, being fruitful, delightful peer relationships and friendships.

Likewise, if we go to build these kind of a relationships and and that we can appeal these kind of friendships we must be willing to risk rejection and pain we all going to have it because all it was a human is what happens to be, we can love each other or two people to have a good relationship and that will produce something that the other one feels rejected all feels like what you were thinking about me you didn't care and they don't feel pain. Listen, if you waiting till you can find someone who will cause you no pain who will cause you no sense of rejection whose life is such that you never have been hurt, you'll never have a relationship because Jesus, for example, he caused the apostle Peter some pretty straight pain. He said to him you act like the devil that had to be painful and from the rest of and so therefore we come to building these wise relationships and friendship. You got to be oneness of a little hurt a little pain a misunderstanding and some rejection you want to build strong relationships and friendships.

We can do that when we love sacrificially if I love sacrificially.

It means that I can give and expect nothing in return. It means that I can also give when I have needs but I don't have to mention them. It means that I can put myself second, it means that with our love sacrificially I'm willing to lay down my life and laid out my wants and my wishes in order to please and make the other person happy and to bring them to contentment and joy in their life.

If you don't have those kind of relationships you must be willing to be open and transparent. What I mean that I simply this. If you go to build a friendship with someone you gotta open your heart, you got to be willing to say you don't let me tell you how feeling and not worry about whether the other person's going to respond in the wrong way on the me transparent sadism will be open, honest about my feelings about what I'm thinking how I'm thinking why thought that way. Why did this and the other person may question that when you know what, if you wait till you get somebody who always agrees with it is not friendship friends are willing to confront, but genuine, true friends confront in love they confront with the idea of edifying the other person building them up strengthening them, helping them to see their relationship to God, helping them to understand what is best in their life.

You see, if you going to build those kind of friendships. It takes effort it takes energy, and I must be willing to open my heart that the tragedy of people like that.

Is this what they don't realize is when they shut you out they shut themselves up to their own loneliness. My heart goes out to people who are lonely, who shut themselves into a very small world for fear of rejection. Further rejection, fear of further hurt for the pain. You know what you not going to get out from behind that wall until you willing to risk it. You going to get hurt. Yes pain. Yes rejection, yes, is it worth it. Yes, but you got to be willing to get out so you know what I'm imperfect is what happened in my life and I need help I need your understanding and need your prayers. Whatever it might be. Then if we going to build those kind of of intimate, happy and joyful kind of friendships we must be willing to serve the other person gladly and you know what, if you have a true friend. You will be a true friend. You will develop real true friendships serving one another is just part of. If you want those persons in your always on the receiving end. And that's the way you like it you'll never have genuine, true intimate, loving, loyal, devoted, lasting friendship. It just doesn't work. It goes both ways. And when you find two people who love to serve each other see people like the Nazi people happily married and his love each other that there serving each other and I have to be coaxed into doing it. It's just part of it flows because of what because the genuine love and the genuine respect and the love Rachel then I'm going to be able to build those kind of wise friendships when I can say please forgive me and to be forgiving for the other person. If you cannot say I was wrong.

I really blew it. I was very insensitive.

I wasn't looking out the you I didn't think about you. I was only thinking about myself and need to ask you, would you please forgive me if you can't say that you can, not bill friendship.

You got to be willing to say please forgive me and then you go to build lasting friendship. You got to be willing to be forgiving though matter what when somebody says I can forgive you, but it's over just got cancel the word forgiving doesn't mean it's meaningless. At that point.

Listen, how can I withhold forgiveness from anyone when he has forgiven me all of my life I was saved at 12 and every single thing I've ever done that was, not right now is of God is forgiven and washed away the blood of Jesus. How can I hold vengeance and retaliation, and unlike what some people do, but you know what, I have no right to refuse forgiveness even to build good friendships, lasting friendship. Gotta be forgiving. We build wise friendships when we can accept criticism and praise gladly and I know that runs against your GRAIN, you say once is gladly business.

Well, how can you accept criticism and praise parallelism, ask a question, do you have a right to accept praise if you can accept criticism. I don't think so. There was if I love your praise. I must be willing to gladly accept your criticism. If watch this.

Not if I'm persuaded you really love me.

I'm going to be able to accept your criticism because I know you know what you think you have my best interest. You see something about me.

I don't see you love me enough to confront me you love me enough to tell me I was wrong you little minutes until you need to look at that reexam and that if you can't have that can relationship with somebody you can have a real marriage. You can't have a real relationship you can have a genuine fulfilling contently joyful and exciting. Listen happy relationship with anybody because praise and criticism as part of life. How do you handle that. That is, how do we wisely handle those things.

I'm simply saying if you build a relationship with your bill friendship with somebody you must be willing to accept praise and criticism listen gladly.

I will only accept the gladly when I believe it's being done in love.

And I believe the other person really has my best interest at heart. If that's not there you I will be very glad then I will build wise relationships when I'm committed to the spiritual growth of the other person when I'm committed the spiritual growth of the other person.

I can build a wonderful relationship when I want to encourage them in the word of God, to encourage them to pray, and not willing to pray with them and I'm willing to help them understand the word of God, the ways of God when I can carry on a conversation with somebody about the Lord Jesus Christ and feel absolutely free to express what I believe God is saying at this point what I can say to a person.

Let me tell you what I believe the Lord is said to be about thus and so and I what I like for us to do is to pray together about this and see if you get the same confirmation about this that I do when I think about helping someone else grow up in their spiritual life.

You just think about what a wonderful opportunity we have that to establish those kind of friendships that we are helping the other person grow up and mature in their spiritual likeness to genuine friends.

That's what they do when they genuine friends, godly friends what they do. They want us each other grow because as one person grows when they do they pull the arson of the personal negative that they pulled out.

So what happens is this, as each one matures in their life in different areas it motivates and strengthens and encourages and inspires us to grow equally in that area because in every every two people one is gonna be strong in one way than the other one having this God just doesn't absolutely fantastic in their lives. What a beautiful way to establish a lasting friendship.

When you challenge that motivated to help grow the other person up in their spiritual life. Likewise, when we really truly want to develop lasting true genuine friendships.

We will do that when the principles of Scripture govern our relationship when the principles of Scripture govern our relationship that that would eliminate a lot of things in people's lives.

If they said you know what we arson want to be your friend and and I would be interested in building a friendship relationship with you and Mrs. decide the very beginning that the principles of the word of God will govern our relationship. It will govern what we say to each other in a govern how we react to each other. It will govern our conduct and our behavior in public and in private.

It will govern every aspect of our life because we want to go on the relationship and when you choose to build a relationship governed by the principles of the word of God you going to build a fantastic relationship. A loving, loyal and devoted immeasurable incomparable indescribable relationship. They will bring you the greatest sense of contentment and joy and peace and happiness in your life no matter what thank you for listening to party with building wise friendships be without.

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