Anger and Forgiveness - Part 2

Welcome to the intensified Catholic child. Tuesday, October 11 whether someone hurts you deliberately or carelessly. The pain can be very real and unrelenting.

Today's final message in our series helps you work through anger and forgiveness, almost to the restaurant the other day and not just have to be looking around the two ladies suited that one of waived slots on the way back I did not know she was and that a few moments she came by and she said the I saw you sitting there and I just had to come up and tell you something.

She says you see that lady over there. She says I hated her and one Sunday. My husband and I were watching television and began to listen to your message about forgiveness in Jesus. By the time it was over I got saved. My husband got saved, God began to work in my life change my life and now the woman I hated is one of my very dearest friends. There is also empower and forgiveness and where is she had been a woman of hatred. She became a woman of love.

It affected her whole family. Husband's relationship with her and then he began to serve the Lord and I wonder how many people that I'm speaking to you right now who angry who you angry at what did they say what they do. How did they heap on use something you can hardly live with it and somehow deep down inside it just gnaws away. Thereafter that you don't want to see them.

You don't want to talk to them.

In fact you'd like to avoid them at all costs. And even when you're able to. You think maybe that got rid of it but deep down inside it did because you see you can't get rid of anger by replacing yourself to some other destination somewhere, something has to happen on the inside of you and so I want to encourage you to listen very carefully because this message absolutely. If you listen to it by the power of the Holy Spirit. Change your life but even more than that. I put it like this, it will set you free. Many people are very angry and know it.

Many people are very angry and do not know it in their living enslaved by an attitude because you see anger or bitterness, hostility, all of these are very enslaving attitudes. For example, one of the most difficult situations about unforgiveness is divorce when you got to people who live together, sleep together, bear children together and lived together for years and then one walks away from some of the woman. The sum of the man you say.

Well now I want to model do about that.

What did Jesus say is what I want to remember, that doesn't mean that forgiveness listen always happens instantaneously and immediately the shock for example of a woman going home from church and finally her husband says (note I'm leaving you I'm in love with someone else. I want a divorce will that she's the sitdown symbol Lord is what you said.

If we confess our sins, that doesn't work best, not forgiveness. And you know what God knows that no person who loves anyone could say will on this one guy will do this right now and be forgiving and and just forget it. No, that is hurt. That is so deep it takes time but you need to start as soon as possible. Don't allow anger to become a form of deep rooted bitterness down in size of you one thing to be angry, bitterness, hostility, rage that happens oftentimes in people's lives so while we need to deal with things immediately. It's not going to happen. As far as the spirit of forgiveness.

Listen even your capacity to forgive because think about the shock of that. It's a shock and you do lots of questions why what Quinn and and all the things that happened so I'm not saying that forgiveness comes instantly, but it needs to come as quickly as you are capable and mature enough as a believer to deal with it. So the question is how do we deal with. How do you deal with anger. What steps do we take first of all this. The first one I need to acknowledge I have experienced God's total forgiveness in my life have been saved by his grace is love, his goodness and his mercy. All of my forgiveness is come from God by his grace. Not because I deserved it in some fashion that would you start out, and the foundation is this. He's been doing this for me all my life. That's where start from that I'm a forgiven person that is the first step and until you come to the conclusion realization then more than likely not going to deal with it wisely. The second step is this and that is I must be willing to confess my anger my hostility my bitterness my resentment rage. I must be willing to confess that I am God. This is what I've done. This is my attitude. This is not the right attitude. I'm asking you to forgive me for my anger toward in my anger toward her and my anger toward this end was, it must be specific because remember what we are talking about is breaking out of slavery breaking out of bondage and forms of bondage are not just general things a person is in bondage to drugs or to sex or to alcohol or to money on whatever it might be. So if I'm confessing something I need to deal with it on the basis of being very personal about it and very specific about another thing is this, I have to realize and acknowledge the fact that my unforgiveness is a violation of the word of God that I have sinned against him and I've sinned against others.

As a result of having an unforgiving spirit and I want God to deal with that and strive to be absolutely open and honest about and recognize it's a violation of the word of God and then the fourth one is this. Ask God to forgive you. Is it doesn't sound like that Lance would close. Ask God to forgive your father ask you to forgive me specifically for what I've said what I've done in my attitude toward this person. Forgive me. As we said before doesn't mean you have to go to every single person. It depends on the situation will come to mind, but specifically asking for forgiveness now remember what we said in the beginning but some people well that is think I'm weak. Suppose they reject me. Suppose they take advantage of suppose misunderstood edges making a difference is nothing in the scripture about unconditional forgiveness.

It doesn't say ask your brother to forgive you unless he's gone reject you unless you going to be misunderstood unless it's going to be painful. None of that. With that be forgiving. No matter what the situation may be, and then I think about this by an act of my will.

Father and the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within me. I lay down this anchor. I lay down this bitterness. I lay down this terrible anger I've had inside of me by an act of my will. Listen, not my feelings by an act of my will I choose to make a choice to lay this down and in the process of doing that with the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within you. You can lay down anger and God will remove it from your life but you got to come at it the way we are saying and that is first of all acknowledging his forgiveness and acknowledging we don't deserve it and acknowledge how many times he's forgiven you, and his promise to forgive and what you doing is you are laying down you Salam angry at several people well. You may have to do it wanted with one person at a time, which is prior was going to happen but it I'm only going to be up to lay it down and I will only lead them when I genuinely acknowledge his forgiveness toward me and the grace that has surrounded and filled. You never flowed you all these years. Then you will acknowledge it, then you will deal with it until you do you you will not. It just doesn't happen that way. Now let's go back to this issue of going to a person.

God will show you if you need to go to that person that normally under most conditions, you need to say to them. My attitude toward you is not in right now. Let's say they run the wrong, and I learned this myself when I had to go to my stepfather and I had lots of reasons not to forgive and when somebody somebody hurt your mother. You can defendant almost to God, but not quite.

And so I remembered it took me at least a few months to decide how I was going do it, how my going to say to him with Giuffre. Give me if my attitude toward you and I can still see in my mind and remember the things that you said in the way you treated my mother hack out why what my going to say to you several months to realize I had to go and say to him I need to ask you to forgive me for my attitude toward you because it has been wrong, been resentful.

I've been angry and I need to ask you to forgive me. Not because you did this, and because you did that because the others there was genuine forgiveness. Watch this genuine forgiveness does not build up a defense and Sandra forgive you but genuine forgiveness. Forgiveness with no limitations and no demands and I remember what happened because I've never seen this in all the years I lived with. First of all, he said all you don't need to send it to me on the one who needs to be asking you never known him asking about forgiveness anyway. He came around the table, hug me, you name and everything else went on, but I had to take the initiative, he would've died before he had ever said I'm wrong is what I want you to see when you and I deal with forgiveness in our life. We set up a people free as Harry Gottfried and as I got saved he got free. When I got free to set them free to say I'm I was wrong and what I did as her true genuine forgiveness is all about and some others as well. But suppose they live a thousand miles away and I can get to them and suppose they were died. I meet people rather often who have a problem with the father who has abused them young woman who is been abused by father nice day here she is 50 and 60 years of age and she's kept all these years.

So how do you deal with that the persons are today. Gone is the best way you deal with somebody says well I just tell God damn forgiving remember is not mouth. It's emotion. It's feeling you put two chairs face each other. You sit down and one of them and you imagine that your father or mother or friend or employee, or whoever it is that they're dead.

Now you you set them in the chair and you can visualize and you can you visualize him sitting there in his what you do you say to them exactly what you would say if you are facing and the truth is, it's a little easier because now they can't say anything back and there's no defense you doing all the talking. You are free to say whatever you need to say and then once you say that, and once you deal with that and you forgive them, you claim by faith that is the end of it because you have no reason to do otherwise. You have done everything you know to do to express your forgiving spirit that is the end of it you say what you mean to tell me to sit in a in a chair. I'm not still make me look like a fool know it's not a was put it this way. Suppose there's somebody who's alive that you having a very difficult time doing that with and you know what you just practice is a practice forgiving absolutely. You may have to send them in that chair her in the chair for 56 times but you know is going to happen. You got a 70 chair and one time you going to get up and you going to be free.

You not feel it in your soul your free then you can say to them face-to-face limited field, let me tell you what's been going on in my life and you can tell and I had to practice about a month but I want to tell you this, you will melt a man's heart in the middle of the lid is hard when he or she finds out that you want to be forgiving so much that you were in the practice. It in order to say it right and the question is how will you know when you really forgiven well I think of the primary ways you can tell this the next time you think about and the next time you see them you're not having it at your heart will be static in your heart is can be the sense of freedom whole different attitude about them in the what's going on in their life and I don't feel the same way and your harsh feelings and we've all had harsh feelings toward people who've heard is deeply those harsh feelings are going to be totally different feeling of compassion. You will feel the same way because remember you got free.

You got liberated you no longer a slave no change in your heart you got free. The third thing that I would mention is you will be willing to accept them the way they are somehow you can accept them the way they are there that doesn't mean that everything is going to be just perfect. The room what we are after. Our goal is freedom in your life freedom in your life and often times when you get free somebody else gets free and then the last thing that I think is so evident when when you really have forgiven someone else is. Once you have you going to begin to consider. I wonder why they did that.

Now you free, not what caused this, but I wonder. I wonder why they did that, did I mention one other thing that's this when you really and truly set free even look back and think Lord watch this carefully. Thank you, dear God for allowing this in my life to teach me how awesome he still grace is in my life. How many times you have forgiven me how you change my life for your grace and love. Thank you for teaching me something about your grace that I would never have known. Had I not learned in this fashion. You do not have to hold on forgiveness of bitterness or resentment or hostility you have to be chained and in bondage and imprisoned by an attitude that is a continuous destruction that goes on in your life over and over and over again may fool a lot of people may do very well on the outside but sooner or later the consequences are coming home to you. It is my prayer that you will be wise enough as God the Holy Spirit has brought people to your mind that you will be wise enough, courageous enough to deal with it and I will listen forgiven you a way to do it. There may be other ways.

I know this one works, and I pray that you be wise enough to let God set you free your testimony to your children, your husband, your wife, your fellow employees you will merely keep it to yourself because a free man is different from a slave man and father how grateful we are that your grace is indescribable in estimable immeasurable. There's no way for us to describe adequately your grace toward us. I pray that every person who hears this message would be wise enough to take these stems that will set them free and more than likely someone else and we pray this in Jesus name, amen. Thank you for listening to particular anger and forgiveness. If you like to know more about Charles Stanley more in touch ministries.

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