Fly the Plane - Work The Problem

As caregivers we have so many things that hit us all the time and we can't always nail these things down by ourselves. Who helps you what does that look like I'm Peter Rosenberg and I want to you about a program but a part of.

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Starting today that caregiver legal.com welcome to hopefully caregiver here on American family radio I'm Peter Rosenberg ledger with us. This is the show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by caregiver. Why do we need to show for family caregivers will tell you why I just because there are more than 65 million people right now in this country who are putting themselves knowingly, willingly, voluntarily between vulnerable love one in even worse disaster. What happens if they go down, you know, that group of people is responsible for over 500 billion with a B. $500 billion of unpaid labor every year.

Caring for the most vulnerable among us, and most of us are not trained little any formal education without formal skills. This we are just doing it out of love and sense of duty and responsibility. What happens if the caregiver goes down. What happens to the cost to our country to our healthcare system to families what's going on emotionally with families with with the trauma going on in people's lives. When you deal with the mentally ill with somebody who's addicted to somebody who has some type of terrible disease. Kids with special needs.

What is this doing to our economy to the workforce.

All these things touch the family caregiver and I am committed to everything that I do this program podcast books blog the music I do everything that I do the articles that are right is to strengthen that family caregiver because healthy caregivers make better caregivers is very personal because I've been doing this now for over 36 years, and I struggled along for so nobody knew what to say to me, they would say things to me but I didn't really understand it didn't penetrate all way down and I didn't see how this makes sense with Scripture with anything and I have learned how to speak fluent caregiver and so that's what I do on this program. I'm glad that you are with this.

I touched on something a couple weeks ago. What I wanted to circle back if you'll indulge me in their new people that are coming to the solids all the time and so sometimes I do a little bit of review of some things, but in this particular story. I think I'm to be saying this for the rest of my life. I love this.

I have a lot of friends that are pilots and one of the trainer with the FAA and these are guys that are fascinating people I love just to listen to the stories and the way their minds work on problem-solving and just the organization and their brains it's it's just fascinating to me and all of them have expressed this one axiom that is common to pilots as this is always given to less experienced pilots fly the plane work. The problem fly the plane work. The problem now.

The context involves pilots who fixate on the problem like a storm or consul light or other issues when we rivet our eyes on that single point to the exclusion of the bigger picture. All oh man that can result in disastrous outcomes, especially when flying a plane 50 years ago this year.

The crash of Eastern Airlines and review will remove some you may not remember this but you look it up Eastern Airlines flight 401.

It was December 29, 1972 because the hundred and one fatalities in the investigation. After the crash revealed that the cockpit crew fixated on a burned out landing gear light but failed to recognize the disengaged autopilot.

Now the landing gear like it was a bowl that was burned out the landing gear was fun, but the light was messed up and so the entire crew locked in on that instead of flying the plane and working the problem. The problem became paramount to everybody who was flying the plane and autopilot was inadvertently disengaged and I just Going down and then crashed into the Everglades when you lock it on one issue, while dangerously losing perspective in a lesson upon this unique to pilots. We do that as caregivers and we could frequently's are a lot of control while arguing with an impairment like Alzheimer's, alcoholism addiction, all of which can easily overpower us as caregivers and divert us from flying the plane we have the responsibility of flying the plane, we must not deviate from that because if we do bad things happen. Our responsibility as caregivers is to see the bigger picture when our loved ones can't just like every passenger in a plane depends on the pilot not losing focus, so to all who rely upon us as caregivers. You see the connection. There and look no one could hand over plane to a novice message that would happen but how many of us took the helm of something way beyond our scope with no training me think about how many of us right now were prepared and trained for what we take on. If you're taking care of somebody with Alzheimer's. How much did you know about this before you found yourself in if you got it as a loved one who is addicted to Coke or whatever the drug jury is out there now. How much did you know that addiction before you got into this if you in a relationship with somebody who's bipolar or is personality issues. How much did you know about this before you were charged with caring for this person know my wife is is orthopedically chest it well.

The surgeon said a couple weeks ago about as tough as it gets orthopedically take care of her. That's from a guy that does is for living as a surgeon at one of the top teaching hospitals in the country. I was a music major, PF list, I had no understanding of this I had no understanding of this and yet here I am flying the plane and that's a tough that's a tough thing for us as caregivers but here we are.

And so when things come up that want to divert our attention want to distract us who's telling us fly the plane and worked the problem without him telling us because that's our job. We cannot give yourself the luxury to get obsessed over something else we keep flying the plane because while those guys were looking to figure out why that bulb was burned out what was going on the landing gear.

That plane was still moving at hundreds of knots per hour, the plane doesn't just stop while they go figured out you can't just pull over the side of the road. You gotta fly the plane was the same thing with us as caregivers. Now even the best of caregivers.

We will find that we are outmatched and ill-prepared.

Okay we get that, but that's why we need these regular reminders keep calm fly the plane and work the problem was that look like for us as caregivers.

Well we can get pulled into the weeds when particularly like when you got ancillary people that want to tell you things you know football players have Monday morning quarterbacks will fill the week we got PEOPLE that are tells maybe try this a try that got pushed, set aside, and you can focus on what is the next right thing for you to do in the situation as a caregiver. Now I'm not talking about the moral or immoral are right or wrong it in for is for seconds of talking about the next step for us there always those moral decisions are things such as that.

And I highly recommend that you have a team of people around you that you can seek out for that sort of thing that you can run things by them and and certainly get their opinion and always valves of God not just talking about keeping the plane in the air, keeping it safe keeping what you're doing as a caregiver on track and not getting pulled in all these different directions. Proverbs 425 says let your eyes look directly forward in your gaze be straight before you really get diverted with shiny objects. I know what you know as caregivers we fly the plane and K. Ellis keep those priorities straight. There maybe a blinking light, but it may just be something simple. We don't need to take your hands off of the switch go chasing rabbits. Okay, this is Peter Rosenberg. This is hopefully caregiver will get more go. Do you know what PVA bag is Peter Rosenberg standing with hope, which is the presenting sponsor of hope for the caregiver.

We do prosthetics for amputees over in West Africa we been working with Donna for years 2005. This is Gracie's vision. After losing both of her legs and we help them buy a lot of material for the prosthetic clinics in exchange we get to share the gospel with individuals and be able to present the gospel, not only with the patient their families in the community and even the nation. We've done national interviews with many of their public officials including the VP and the US ambassador to Ghana, but PVA bags polyvinyl alcohol bags are used in the lamination process to make the sockets that we bank the brand-new the custom fit on-site and we purchase them in Donna, but now the route we need to get some more sleep makes more legs.

We also need resin were always buying resin because that's one of the critical items in these acrylic resin sockets that we make that will recycle the prosthetic limbs. They come from all over the country to a prison run by core civic down in Arizona and inmates volunteer to disassemble divorce we can recycle the needs defeat. The policy screws adapters to clients all that Stuff. Some things we have to purchase PVA bags and resin are two of those items that need to be regular purchase to help us out with it please. Standing with hope.com/giving. Standing with hope.com/giving. Be a part of giving the gift that keeps on walking steady with hope.com/giving thanks so much so hopefully caregiver this Peter Rosenberg.

This is the program for you as a family caregiver were stated with the airline leave today that I thought I could resist it, I could not resist being honest try to be miserable while listening to do it back Principe pull that up just a little bit more nebulous of this right here to every flow well were talking about airlines concept that I've been bleeding from friends about her policy will stay with it. The gist is to build little longer because there's another term that affects us as caregivers that offered at least for me doesn't resonate with you.

That's okay.

You don't have to use it. You don't have to even listen the show, but this is what works for me and when I heard it immediately struck a tone with me, and it was the word PRC pilot in command, not really.

The word PRC just the letters PRC pilot in command. That is a term used across the board with aircraft and its this is the person who's responsible for what's going on okay for all the flight of the plane operation safety everything the responsible and in this is you, the I this person is in charge of what's going on and they're very specific assignments, usually a seating place and everybody knows who's got the plate that this means that the pilot is hands-on with the stick the whole time. Sometimes you have the compounder that you know that whatever but the pilot is in charge on Obama spinning this time will because guess what you and I are the pilots in charge in our caregiving circumstances where the caregiver in charge with the CSC. We're the ones that are responsible and charged with keeping this thing going operations and safety and everything else.

If we learn that our loved ones would be out of a job, they wouldn't need us to do these things, but they do we have the responsibility to submit we take away their agency.

Okay, I don't.

Don't let the metaphor go all the way out, but just concept that you have that authority in that responsibility as a caregiver for your loved one now would go so far to say that that is a sovereign assignment you're not there by accident. You got there by happenstance you're there because of God.

He has equipped you and assigned you in this role the may not like it.

You may not feel up to the task, but he is and you can trust. A minute but this comes with some responsibilities you have elected to do this, I elected to do this is well. I doubt not in volunteer for this well yeah you did it you still you're doing it or nobody's got a gun to your head so you stepped forward in line and maybe was a situation where the line when they asked for volunteers. Everybody step backwards at your left. But maybe that's what it feels like, but in reality is you have done this in some of and we can get all maddened angry about everything else we can fill out put out with this is what we we have elected to do.

Okay so let's get that role firmly ensconced in her mind and secondly we have resources.

That's another thing that goes on with aviation skull CRM cockpit resource management or crew resource management however you want to define it, but there are resources available to the pilot and it is the pilots responsibility to inventory them beware of them, manage them and utilize them when I was any different for us as caregivers.

You don't we put all the solar cells but are we it, do we not have other resources we control and no I don't have the budget for that lets the split budget over here on the on the on the side for a while. Okay, just but that is the other side of the table money is not always the first thing that does make things easier, but it doesn't solve everything so don't get hung up on that list go to Exodus 3 and four. You will know the story, Moses sees the burning bush goes up there and God lays out this case of what he's getting ready to do with Pharaoh and deliver his people and easels and most other Moses you the PRC that the pilot in charge of the prophet in charge okay you going down or what would limit what would would've asked me to sit. God tells him his name.

While I wave it went with what they don't believe me know shows of the signs and wonders with the staff throws them to come to serve sticks his hand. His quote becomes lepers only six talks a good cousin who made your mouth kiddo, but you just see guys just like honestly you know and then we so I don't know Laura, I never know I'm not the guy in, and then he says in verse 14 of chapter 4 Lord's anger burned against Moses and what about your brother and I don't speak Willy's art is what I just you still speak to him and put words in his mouth that help both you speak and teach what to do.

We just basically handed it out for me. Put it in real simple thing, but if you notice when Moses got to Pharaoh. I don't see really allow Scripture where Aaron was doing the talk. Moses was doing the talking.

Somewhere along that line between that journey of Moses and then going to Pharaoh and so forth. Something snapped and Moses that he realizes he was the prophet in charge. He was the PRC and somewhere along the line you and I can realize the where the CSC were the caregiver in charge and we are equipped with everything we need to do this now. It may seem pretty bleak when we're making bricks without straw and you service a caregiver long enough and you'll find out what that's like in your heaven to stretch a dollar till it's almost translucent. Your heaven to absorb things in your own body and your mind.

Your brain feels like it's just gonna explode sometimes and sometimes you feel so light and mad or you get so despairing that only six yeah okay we get it. Moses felt the same way Gideon felt the same way. David felt the same way you don't think Noah while he's up there building that are in this class are mocking him for 100 years is going to look you know that you felt this way you don't think this was going on in the minds of so many people that came before us and yet they found God's faithfulness to be sustaining in their journey we can as well.

That joy that that song talks about were joyful abounds forever. That's also available to us right now. Not it is full for micro could have their but we can, by faith, walking that now to the pilot in charge the caregiver in charge there overseeing all these things, but if you notice the pilot is not out there changing a flat tire on the plane their people to do that and we can find those people that will do certain tasks for us along this journey that will help us with certain things that we can delegate things to it may take a while for you to figure that out.

It may take a while for you to figure out how to pay for it. Been there, done that.

You can't have 80 some surgeries, like Gracie's head and all the stuff that we've had to deal with and not have to figure out okay where's ascorbic but I go back to a story I may have told you of this program. I think it did with Hezekiah when he got a letter notification from the emissary from snack group. You will read about this in Isaiah belief and snack room said this is the southern versions of translation of Scripture that I will bust Joe and is going be bad has got to know what to do. He went to the temple and he held this letter out for the Lord is leading us. I don't in Isaiah send a message through his his servant say here's what the Lord said his was will happen. Summerdale settled school be all right now they can have instant communication so this was working on. Isaiah was was hearing from the Lord way apart from Hezekiah.

His cows at the temple is able somewhere far off and reset it to a servant by the time I got there. You know Hezekiah had been sit there praying about this. He been stewing about for a while the horses Summerdale will be and it was and if you notice last year when we had the disastrous Afghanistan pullout that the president of Afghanistan for the present. Whatever is called, he absconded he left with two helicopters full of cash. Cash, by the way you would not pay for and he left left his country to ruins to the Taliban and he went to the treasury and stole Hezekiah went to the temple and wait.

Which do you think is appropriate for us is the caregiver in command. I will tell you that want to the temple and waiting on God and it could be you don't sometimes pilot have to make a decision in a holding pattern.

Sometimes we feel like were in a holding pattern, sometimes at home and pattered last a long time but he's always in communication.

He knows where we are and he knows what's going on, and so is the pilot in command as the caregiver in command, you look around to see what are the resources that you have your making decisions. Your over the whole process of your loved one you have that authority. And you don't go to anybody with you hat your hand.

You are making decisions for somebody that you love very much and you're doing the best that you noted, you could always do things better.

You can always learning more and that's what were doing here together. You and I will do this together.

You already since that burden lifting a little bit we can catch a breath because somebody speaking to you in a way that you can understand racial strength you caregiver in charge of your situation. This Peter Rosenberger. This is hopefully caregiver will grace Rosenberger 26 years ago I walked for the first time in two prosthetic legs.

I saw firsthand how important quality prosthetic limbs are 20 this understanding compelled me to establish standing without more than a dozen years we've been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis we purchase and ship equipment and supplies and with the help and inmates in a Tennessee prison.

We also recycle parts from donated lambs. All of this is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing without.com to learn more and participate in lifting others out that standing with help.com. I'm Gracie and I'm standing with help, but hopefully caregiver the speed of Rosenberger but have you caregiver.com.

I've been talking about pilot things up in the learning from Vince, but her pilot and [that well you know what I want to call a buddy of mine, and I'm going to ask him to be on because he is a pilot that we just fumbled around I would let you hear from somebody really understands it's from glad to have my friend Frank Fraser, long time. He's been dealing with aviation since he was a teenager. He's also a caregiver and he's going talk little bit about that as well. Frank I want you to just take us right at the beginning of some things that you incorporate in your life as a pilot as a caregiver.

I want to talk about aviation and the principles that you glean from it. How you approach it, so Frank glad to have your tell us little bit about your journey well on the economic student of aviation because I am about to try to learn things that that I would use in my real life action is about to try to learn from other people's mistakes and so therefore I read a lot of NTSB report/study every accident that I am aware of that may apply to something on. I need to know so things that I have seen our pilots that I've had to do some remedial training with like a Learjet one time a heart of good young Capt. are you gung ho about it was trying to be a captain. He got bored or just put out with the lengthy preflight checklist items in the pre-taxi type checklist items and then the pretakeoff checklist items and then you do that after takeoff checklist and you do know the client and all that so he showed up one day there is preflight like he was supposed to got in the cockpit. We were invited go off on a trip and we start engines and now use a checklist to start the engines and generate the checklist.

He says okay I'm washing your hand. No, when he made any HELOC overhang got a pat out that he had written his own checklist that he was going make sure I followed, but it had nothing to do with what the FAA approved checklist and was in the same order when the same procedures and all that and I said stop playing right near the start over here.

You don't ever do something like that again. In an airplane because I missed something very important.

There are some things that can be missed. Others in their stricter check on this particular line where the starting of the engines can sometimes cause a breaker failure because of the amount of current going through. If you don't separate the two generators and see if they're both working people. A main breaker there to do that, then you will never know that want your generators may not be working because you're still getting the correct rating on the single gauge of both generators, you would be getting 300 on each side you think that you may not be so. That's just one example.

Another example would be polished to forget the truck as her taxing out in a hurry to get mudflaps down is not a good thing if you don't read that checklist and say when when when the compadres claps you know reach down your hand and that's flat switch inside set for takeoff. As you look at that against its dinner point. Grace getting what you want to use for the conditions so that is a relevant example of things that can go wrong really bad you don't mind, I'd like to give you an example of an airliner who did which did the same thing back in the 80s. Detroit late in the palace landed in your view that this professional group highly trained and then they landed there in a hurry to make their day turnaround and made her taxing and using a lot of power and there's a system on that airplane that will warn you if you're using a lot of power and you don't have the flaps down. This wasn't a DC-9 MD-80 to the fear taxing and using a lot of power and you don't have the flash now let's warning how you can take off of that flaps so they disabled that writer. That system up on a breaker on whenever the guy got their masters taxied out and offered the actual audio recording by using an training well when you go to school. Of these pallets taxing away from the gate and they're not in a hurry now so they never raised throttles up very high. Just use normal taxi power and they're talking about everything under the sun as they got there they never performed any checklist whatsoever. They got all the runway cleared for takeoff, David power know flaps are down. I remind you they didn't know the flaps were down the claimant barely got off the ground in the runway. What we call ground effect it never got over maybe 100 feet and it crashed right off in the runway on an interstate every passenger on it died except one, and there was a little baby girl that was underneath just happened to be in state all of them are members that crash when they will go back and read or listen to the talking voice recording. I learned that's what happened that they did not follow the checklist and that's it that's it. That's a horrible way to learn.

That's how things happen like that when I've heard that when the NTSB by the way of also another thing I've heard and you tell me if you for the same thing that of all the government programs out there and we all kind of raise her eyes at the government were here to help you. That kind of thing, but the intensity is one of those that actually does exactly what they're supposed to do, and they're very serious about it and they know their business writing very very very. I've attended a couple hearings and happen to be close by. Before any of that is very professional or thereon a group of judges. The column they sometimes it's a full meal three court judge or sometimes just a single judgment hearing about violation that you can adjudicate all the violations that did appeal with FIA you know wants to revoke someone's license or suspend their license or whatever while it has the right to appeal that to the end yesterday and then get a hearing with the judge. That's not enough of a judge, garage, FIA person as you did. You tell me these principles. These cousin follow checklist.

They didn't follow a pre-agreed-upon set of protocols that are there for their safety. Everyone else's and how important is that Regiment in your life is a caregiving dad, you have a special needs daughter and it rekeyed. You can't just wing it and not go through a checklist in your own life with her Kenya. Our daughter has taught us that we must write a check list for her and so she gets up every morning and brings us a notepad can't talk, but she can jazz a talker.

She doesn't like use that with her mama mom and dad. She writes for us to figure out what she wants us to do and I'm she brings a notepad you don't more my yellow pads and she hands us in a pan and says here you right now what were going to and so we right now. Well, you gonna brush her teeth. You're going to close on you not eat breakfast were not getting the car and still were going to take these certain things to school today they were going when you get out you… She has to follow that checklist so therefore I have to file that checklist and know what she's got all men checklist and I guess that maybe came from my training is about is where she learned that I don't know that she adheres to. It doesn't get in the GC marks it off as we accomplish each one. She has. She reports a line through it. You know that so much about our life's caregivers and Alex that I've learned so many different life applications for the things you Toby's pilot. What happens when we try to take shortcuts. We try to hurry up euro haste makes waste and there's a reason that thing is out there and when it comes to our jobs. Caregivers we can afford to shortcuts we can afford to skip steps we have to be regimented and consistent and these are things that blurring of learn from you. What is it like to be the good PRC. The pilot in command and those kinds of things we got one minute before the breakable dude would come back in the neck. Seven but talk a little bit about pilot in command that you're in charge this because I want caregivers understood that there the caregiver in command that that it's okay for them to wield that authority was that look like to you as a pilot. Yeah, as a pilot you you're responsible for the uncharged success of the mission which are assigned to.

So you you have to not only be capable of doing everything is on that checklist check be qualified she and Ben. I guess smart enough to delegate those things that you should delegate to someone else and you know this probably qualified your copilot could be a flight attendant if you have one of those on board sometimes have a minus technician runs along the line you might if he is your boy. You can legally assign him something to do. That's something you need flight yet don't delegate you have to rely on them doing their job and be able to rely on them doing their job and then execute the mission. How is it any different is a caregiving dad is not as Alitalia and we have to do that every day every day and sometimes we make a little mistake. Natalie usually catches us machinist what we call an OCD child seat shielded in the car.

Peter and she has a checklist that she goes through this another maneuver that bad. She has the name brand name tag on her wrist that she thinks is crucial to her life as it got her name on last automatic alert thing on his got mom and dad's name and phone number on their and she will show that to someone who says something comes up to her and says what's your name and show just show them that if we go push the button for like school.

For some reason, she will hold that name tag up to the camera.

Show them she can't talk when they said what really name would become and Spiller show how that thing up there on the camera. And so that's one thing she did. She absolutely won't miss this blog will express you only mom about it and she has another thing she has to have her headband. She has to have her speakers would go to her iPad headphones she has to have her water bottle and waited in the car not start out the garage and show skill set and also what she'll go pointer hereunder shall appoint various reports that water bottle or the speaker should say, but I don't have a thing to plug into the iPad and so you know it's likely properly down the big fear that your flaps as she's not copilot of God.

Every when I make a wrong turn to go if I don't know if I work the summer school, she went to this year was not the same as her high school and so when I we got downhill the road and almost afraid last will not turn left on my patcher which is right before this new she should point out know now that you can still so there and I said no Natalie were going to a different school.

Now you going to she's is okay spot in the atomic a wrong turn, are about as she does it say okay, but she nods yes you say okay I like that you but that's up my friend Frank Fraser Tubman life lessons learned as a caregiver from being a pilot this Peter Roseberry.

This is hopefully caregiver logo. I would get.

Do you know what PVA bag is Peter Rosenberg standing with hope, which is the presenting sponsor of hope for the caregiver.

We do prosthetics for amputees over in West Africa we been working with Ghana for years 2005.

This is Gracie's vision.

After losing both of her legs and we help them buy a lot of material for the prosthetic clinics in exchange we get to share the gospel with individuals and be able to present the gospel, not only with the patients but their families in the community and even the nation. We've done national interviews with many of their public officials including the VP and the US ambassador to Ghana, but PVA bags polyvinyl alcohol bags are used in the lamination process to make the sockets that we bank the brand of the custom fit on-site and we purchase them in Donna, but now the route we need to get some more sleep makes more legs.

We also need resin were always buying resin because that's one of the critical items in these acrylic resin sockets that we make that will recycle the prosthetic limbs.

They come from all over the country to a prison run by core civic down in Arizona and inmates volunteer to disassemble the force we can recycle the needs defeat the pylons the screws adapters to clients all that Stuff. Some things we have to purchase PVA bags in resin are two of those items that need to be regular purchase to help us out with at least standing with hope.com/giving stained with hope.com/giving. Be a part of giving the gift that keeps on walking steady with hope.com/giving thanks much all day and this Peter Rosenberg.

This is the program you as a family.

The caregiver.com while you're out there check out all the things we offer podcasts, free books, music, blog doesn't let Facebook the caregiver group on Facebook for love special things in there as well and hope you take a long time friend of mine Frank Fraser. He has educated me on all things airline in pilots and aviation of what this means that the principles that he feared I've seen such a correlation to assist caregivers how we have to be regimented on certain things.

We're the caregiver in command just like the pilot in command of the pilot learned how to designate delegate and enlist help from from whoever's of the other place where there's a flight attendant 90s work or whatever the pilot is in charge, just like we as caregivers and George Frank understands journey to caregiver himself said daughter, especially she's nonverbal, but she is a force of nature have no Natalie since she was a tiny girl and she is a force of nature and it forces right to be on his game. I think he's probably rather be commanding a bunch of pilots that have to go head-to-head with methyl but he he's taught me a lot of these things and and unfortunately a lot of things that happen in planes ago long end up being disasters and yes the airlines of learned from every pilot learns is incorporated training but it's a very painful lesson and we talked about that. The Eastern flight that went down in the Everglades.

50 years ago, Frank mentioned the one at a major commercial airline where they didn't have the flaps properly. It did take off the breaker just little things because they did. They didn't follow the checklist I want to talk about a concept you've always said because it would pilots get up in the air and in you. You are big fan of watching all these investigative shows about airlines and what happens and then you follow stuff with the NTSB and so forth. You've told me many many many times it pilots in the air. One of the things that causes so many problems it was is when pilots allow themselves to get distracted and they're not not just been in a hurry.

They they focus on the minors instead of flying the plane fly the plane fly the flag and the because the plane is limited and were as a correlate to be like us putting on cruise control in our car they go to the backseat and the fix a problem with the seatbelt of the backseat driver the car so you gotta describe the car it still moving the plane is moving.

How about that and how we as caregivers don't. We don't have the luxury of fixating on the minor were going to have to do two things to keep the main thing fly the plane be the caregiver see the big picture because our love ones, but sometimes take us into these tangents.

They can get us all distracted before we know were of course is that something you've seen in your life and talk about how that principal works only in aviation but for you as a caregiver. We on the one of the worst things can happen is is get distracted doing your job and if you're pilot flying along and say you have a generator failure and it sets off a light on on the panel and you know you got a address that is usually not a red light incidence and amber light never means I may take a look at this is not an emergency around lightning just an emergency.

If you got one of those get hundred of them on the panel that could go off, but you have amber lights and red lights so you know sometimes you can amber light and yeah he is just like maybe need to reset a break or maybe you need to look in the books they want to do next.

Look at the checklist you got every possible breaker or light panel light is listed in the back of the checklist in the Italian. If this happens, do that is how you try to remedy that event, then fix it. Go do this is give you step-by-step for each and every possible scenario you get entered. What would you do that with them in life here in our home yet.

Well let me go back to their points of what happens is what what what that will do for you or kill you is take your eyes away from flying take your eyes away from this other instruments that are in the airplane. It'll take your concentration away from what your navigation is doing and all that in order now. If you're not about airlines not refine, but when you're heads down looking to book your not fly an airplane year you're hoping that the college got it and you're hoping that you not so distracted that you miss your radio call sign and they say you so-and-so turn left and the setting is traffic, 12 o'clock, 5 miles whatever. If you miss that call you then you got a problem, probably not. With an accident, but you're gonna get in trouble because you didn't react to that and then I have to make the other guy do something he didn't want to do, so that that gets you into a bad spot. So when you're heads down in your focus is not there. You've got to avoid a situation so what you said in that condition is telco about height on the look at this. You watch out you fly the plane in my absence year you're in charge. While I look at this problem. Same thing with Natalie. You know when I get distracted maybe with a phone call, maybe with a problem, otherwise then I'm not paying attention to Natalie or I might miss something she's doing and the next thing you know you she's got the hot water on the faucet and that no exactly what that means and so you you can get distracted and then you your rearview don't have someone else to help and for just you. You really get it can can get into a bad spot and I have done to me that's this is why this resonates so deeply with me because you know I'm the sole caregiver for Gracie and when I get distracted with a smaller problem and take my eyes off the bigger picture.

This thinking get pretty gnarly pretty quick and so I've had to learn to detach from some of the six Oak able to get to that, but not right now. Right now I gotta bring us into a place of safety before we can look that would have to look at that on the ground if you will, how big an emergency is this not I got a bunch of red lights going off. That's if you let the class to purchase the and you have to you have to use of discernment and wisdom and that doesn't come easily, that come from experience and it comes from surrounding yourself with some some smart people have done this before, but part of being a caregiver for me is learning what is the priority and when this thing is moving like a plane in the air.

The priorities make sure it stays in the air and its flight spin out of control that that lesson from Eastern back in 1972 is a painful lesson because those guys didn't realize they disengage the autopilot and everybody.

The carpet was focused on that that light. It turns out the landing.

It was fine it was just that burnout bone is right and yet everybody's attention was on that ended and I understand if you landing gear doesn't work, that's a big deal so they need to understand it, but they got they got more than one person in that carpet to do that they could have taken a different approach as well. Delegation well in the allegation he observed it does in the NTSB is really good to take those things and put that into training and out of that comes a lot of good stuff. A lot of good detection systems and so forth rail at cost.

What cost right and so as caregivers. I think we have we have an opportunity to learn from the principles of those things we don't have to to freak out over every little like the blanks on the on the Pap were going to have to use of discernment and some wisdom. Talk about how the last few minutes I got talk about how that changed for you in your life is a caregiver. We went when Natalie was young. This is all brand-new and your you know every time you're around something like this to go to the hospital. Whatever you think this is this is Devcon five but you learn how to how to settle yourself down with that over the years haven't yet. We have a meeting we had a lot of early on, no reactionary things and we Natalie is also prone to seizures and she takes very strong medicine to avoid the seizures, but we just recently waved we found out that a particular type of cold medicine can actually trigger a seizure over and above the limits of the medication and she had a couple seizures over it today.

She hasn't had to do years and so we had we had to figure out what are we doing wrong here in course we have. We had a good conversation with our neurologist treats Natalie and he soon displays a pediatric Nate chief of neurology and he's very very nice of all, what kind of message Monday and sometime it all know don't don't give her that that that can override the seizure medicine so we have so but when that happens you know you're like the first time she ever had when we were like rushing to the Army we we went straight down there and now that we learn how to deal with her seizure last, the speed limit. Worry absolutely the so you know you gotta learn well okay so she had a seizure, but she Christie of course is one of the season, RN and she said seen a lot of seizures.

But what is your child. You look at different, and so we had to not get used to it, but learn how to deal with it better and if she doesn't react or come come out the seizure quickly.

We have a rescue drug that we can run injector with and that will bring her back around, but we have never had to use at this time. Today when I see this kind of thing that comes over time and you learn how to prioritize it. It's it's wisdom that comes at a great cost. It always does wisdom come from experience and expense come from bad judgment that cannot II get that, but I wanted you to know how much I've appreciated over the years. You see I paid attention. Everything you say which another Cabral get me in a lot of trouble and that it's the I do list because I think that the high-pressure situation that you find in the carpet of airplanes. That's pretty stressful situation to gotta learn how to do this and manage it with precision with delegation with wisdom with discernment and that's our life as caregivers.

It it there's not a lot of margin for error is there no meso so we have to be on top of our game.

I hope you've enjoyed this time they Frank I want you know I much appreciate it. We got around without a time of this Peter Rosenberg. This is hopefully caregiver, hopefully caregiver.com and also please remember this, just like in aviation.

There is an air traffic controller that keeps track of all the planes we also have a Savior never loses any of his this Peter Rosenberg will see next time