Not Making It Worse Counts As A Win

This is the program you as a family caregiver. So glad with us more than 65 million Americans care for a vulnerable level some type of crime comparable babies age-related.

Maybe it's disease or trauma special needs.

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You want me to call you back from program. There's no rules this just whatever's on your mind as a caregiver will have a way for you to be able to vent that out and share because isolation is one of the most crippling things that we deal with his caregivers. This is why we do the program grateful to have you along with this. Thanks to AFR for hosting this program. American family radio in the Truth Network in his radio for picking it up and all our other affiliates across the country. Also, by the way we go to website is the podcast and you can it's a free podcast, please subscribe to it, share it with others and there's 650 episodes out there now that you can listen to music show special bonus materials, interviews OF things would put out there. Please take advantage of that hand was share something with you in our opening block here is caregivers you know, we regularly feel intense pressure to fix or achieve. Do you feel that way you look at your level of circumstances or other circumstances and just almost like it's up to Utica fix this or achieve it. Yet, despite our best efforts, many of the circumstances we face seem unyielding teach us. Destitute heat our self judgment over these things be under control often leads us go to a incorrect verdict of failure. We keep thinking that it's all up to us. We get it wrong or it doesn't work doesn't change and then we assume that were failures set so familiar at all to you as a character will see what let's take a step away from the caregiving world. I let's talk about the slap heard round the world you know with the 2022 Academy Awards. I know this is been talked about the death.

When will Smith get up on stage and assaulted Chris rock in front of the house global audience. We we talked about that part and nausea. Everybody. Everybody thought about that little talk about something of principle here that we saw modeled that affects us is caregivers. I think that has a teachable moment for us is caregivers Chris rock responded with extraordinary restraint.

Did you notice that he didn't strike back.

It didn't fall apart. He was stunned, regained his composure and went on with the show and you know he because he did that he walked away with nearly universal approval because he didn't worsen an already awful situation, and not only did he handle himself well on stage but you know there's been a media frenzy afterwards and there will be for some time. I'm sure he's remained quiet about the he's hardly said anything about it. He had a couple shows that he did.

He said I'll talk about when I'm ready. He's he's chosen to address this incident on his own timing when the temperatures are cooler when he's in control of the message that what can we learn from that is caregivers will we regularly face situations that often tempt or provoke us to intense emotional reactions you felt that way to me that you're ready to absolutely lose your cookies over this thing� Technical term.

Joe picking patient Chris rock we can incorporate a simple strategy into an altered uncontrollable experience and here it is ready and write the stuff you want to. If you don't make it worse.

It counts as a win. Most of that will if you don't make it worse, that counts as a win put that one in the wind, you didn't make it worse was important to us because we as caregivers regulate come up against things that are beyond our control things that are often spiraling out of control. As a result of someone else's behavior or choices. What happened to Chris rock for example, there's no way he could have anticipated. This is unprecedented and will Smith did what he did. It was like wow this came out of nowhere will show me a caregiver that doesn't understand that something that just comes out of nowhere when you have people with particular cognitive impairments. Things are going to come at you from all kinds of places. It could be an altercation like what you saw with Chris rock and will Smith. It could be a financial thing that hits you, it could be a medical thing that erupts the list of things that we face is caregivers is a rather lengthy quote and were not powerful enough to fix all these things were not astute enough to be able to delve into all the these things and and and take control of it and make it better, but we have the power to make it worse by overreacting by losing our temper by making it all about us. We end up distracting from the root issue are the real issue. If we could just stand back and again look at what Chris rock did the real issue was not Chris rock the real issues. Will Smith but if Chris rock and acted out and responded in kind than it would've been his reputation that is solid as well. He walked away from that thing with with a lot of admiration and love applause because he handled himself well.

Eddie really an impossible situation and we understand that is caregivers we find ourselves in impossible situations regularly and so are we handling ourselves well do we feel calm or do we feel a little bit more healthier. No matter what's going on around us we restraint our emotions and master our response to any given circumstance. We live a bit, and can add more victories to the win column.

Do you need some victories in your win column today. Would you be willing to accept by premise that if you don't make it worse. That's when I do it doesn't seem like it be much of a wind what is the goal here is your goal really to fix someone else another human being is your goal to two alter their behavior so that it doesn't cause any more flareups or drama points do you have that kind of power. No, the goal for us is not to fix the goal for us is to live more peacefully and it so that no matter what comes our way, or should be more specific to the topic.

What about today with this example, no matter what assaults us that we are prepared to think a little clearer and not make it worse. If you don't make it worse.

That counts as a win again. It doesn't necessarily feel like a wind and that's why we have to retrain our minds and this to be able to look at this in the bigger picture Daniel Webster. You know you've heard of Daniel Webster Rd., Runner dictionary. He said liberty you substitute the word freedom if that helps you liberty, freedom exist in proportion to wholesome restraint. Can we master our own responses. By the way, we don't need to use examples of movie stars and comedians. There's another example of someone who was assaulted used enormous restraint that was her savior. He's our model is the standard in the same spirit gave him restraint is available to you. This is Peter Rosenberger.

This is hopeful to kick in