"Why is Grandma Naked?" Author Ellen Rittberg

Larry, I live on the whole caregiver earlybird and if you not listen to your dispute reason for this is the silver you as a family caregiver. How you do with how you hold them what's going on with you 65 million Americans right now serve as a family caregiver if you're one of them.

You understand the journey and we are glad to have you as part of the show to talk about ways to strengthen the family caregiver maybe to give an aging love one that you taking care of especially child. Maybe you have a family member doing some type of trauma, mental illness, addiction, alcoholism, whatever the impairment, there's always caregiver and we we understand that the journey can be fraught with challenges, dangers, heartache, many dangerous toils and snares. How do you help those who help those that's what the show is all about and bring me 35 years of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as you take care of someone who is not in with me always, is himself from Nashville.

He is the bearer of the board of Sultan assailed the Earl of engineering. He's John Butler and you loving all I hello not realize I've been using today, but why is John Willits I'm fine, I'm warming up.

It was 18 below last night and I should but how it's so cold.

Politicians are keeping her hands in her own pocket. Solving it is cold out there and I was that we went to Billings this week about Montana and went to Billings to do some see a specialist with Gracie and also Peter prosthetic legs worked on. We spent the night over there and I was out walking the dog at night and you know what I had to take a hammer just above the 500 but it's cold and rain shadow that is 7050, which are you feeling how I am fantastic, but I had a you know about your mind… Got a little second and work for a while.

Sophia your problems with his with his walker built right so I sent him a get well soon card get a will is was was tracked with it. I knew it was going somewhere sent somewhere and I said I follow.

Yeah me to administer pretty pretty well. It's still doing distance learning with the kids, but that just means I get to my my kids all day. It's pretty nice.

Well I you know how we'd love we love humor on the ship is a very sick when we aspire to it, we we haven't quite attained it but we do aspire to it. I had a lady that I've connected with this week and hurt the title of her book prompted me to call her okay just that simple.

And her name is Ellen Rittenberg she's an attorney, but she's also a writer and author and caregiver.

In her book is called Weiss grandma naked caring for your aging parent. You are right right yeah I and I vetoed it, so I just love that Sowell it is with this right now.

Ellen, how you feel.

It we are thrilled to have you and this is John Butler with this he John and I done the show together for now.

Cash eight and he said help produce it in and joins me with it and so it's just a pleasure to have you here and tell us a little bit about your background before we get into this book and just that. What brings you to this point and then we'll get into the book which I think is the best you win the war today for the best title of book. I love that. Why is grandma naked caring for Yuri. This will be out next month but tell us a little bit about your journey in your life.

First, so my mom now and I moved in temporarily, after a night of the center. I started noticing something about my mind quite night and I thought to move out before I realized that I was all set to move that, you know, go to my next place to live. I told my own home and I couldn't I couldn't leave mom and so I ended up staying there for six years and I write numerous essays on the previous book called 35 thank you Kimo tell you so I will actually published by familiar from Nashville, Tennessee. Turner Turner, publishing, and I kind at the time I didn't always see human situation that I lack the stress non-declined and ended up here and I'm dying dying in her home, which is what I'd hope I can attain for her at the time. I also was a full-time attorney when I arrived. Peter was that everything I knew my work experience with actually no help to me in going with my own mother. Everything is a session merging character just so many things just came upon me and comes upon caregiver when he stressed the unexpected and I like to say if he had no stress but probably it's just part of life, but as a caregiver level of stress when you're dealing with something new and unfamiliar to you as caregiver to somebody who suddenly altered in personality and physical form. You have to make all kinds of adjustments and so I did and I just started to see the it after the fact that I got to share this with people. People are so just got on and it takes a lot.

I don't have to tell you the 35 yard and got my God, my mom blinking and it was life transforming and I want to share with what works and what didn't work for me and much did you have a pretty good sense of humor. Before all this funny II other people I like fun, and as a journalist, journalist and beginners luck. I wrote an essay and it ended up my first that they ended up in time.

Years I should write up I started to be regarded as accounting a lot and I got contacted by Reader's Digest to write something about something. I guess that Huff Post on TV shows and very exciting humorous talk and I just thought they were so many things that I could share that after the fact. I thought at the time cannot usually go, I did. He actually I actually have a 4040 short chapters because sometimes it was something that began with the C for example, and I had more than one entry/1223 and I say in my book look in New York City.

They have street called sick and have to speak so in New York City have a 6 1/2 I can have more than one letter of the alphabet in my cat and I chapters that's fun, but was your from the I learned this today John she's from Long Island but but there's a better way to pronounce Long Island. What I mused I was to say long island that did you know that I do not know, you tell us how you like it. I'm from Long Island. I like Eli yeah guy without when you set out to write this book. Dear moms passed away and hello did you hello did you take between that and starting this book to wait that long. I started to write it down, jot down things are number and then it all started flowing back and I said I thought I'm working on it and you know anybody that might close you write a draft you do it you do not ready universe. Did you did you was was was it painful for you or was it article are all the above.

Now wonderful question because it was cathartic.

I will like it might component about not flowing you know, as I wrote them and I go to my mom that you don't find anything on in part because of the type of person that she was and how she changed which if you want to tell you a couple of things. But I think my mom but my mom looking very very quiet person and very dignified. She shouldn't have laughed easily. :-) Declined. She suddenly developed this humor for. For example, the insurance lady. She called all white and I can tell you what you look like in my sleep because mom called me over many a times insurance lady and my mom picked me all and I know I and my mother will die, and she had the story about the guy that used to be a little convinced of them. I would almost like try to she was wrong because I didn't realize they were just made up o'clock but it's really funny you now is kind of person is the point when you said you try to convince his realized that I don't need to convince her. She's wrong. Okay, my mom with mom.

Mom didn't have my cheerful gift she only people you know I like white white in the young therapist office not like me she didn't smile at me and I think mom she smiled but I think that she would happen sometimes 40 years ago and she was just out of the future when a mom and you still grinding that she had already started to decline came home from going to the supermarket, not Oaxacan. I thought he was somebody that mom had been in a religious school carpool with about 40 years before my next daughter.

She looked over and said she looks really old.

I could not see one of two places she's gone to a better place. She died a lot of older people I looking up lets Google Mrs. G's name and showing up this evening and she was alive she was living in Florida and you know and thinking time so he admitted he was not there for the winter.

It didn't happen, but my mother was out in my book, and very anything said somebody looked old Mrs. G daughter to some stranger. It may have been 15, which I actually try to convince my mom back. And you want to tell you how you are with me Peter I'll go to the NIH beautiful writing, I look beautiful.

One story that you lose all those wonderful stories and that's it. It's interesting to listen to how you change from starting to you had to adapt to this change in personality of hers that seemed to be changing very rapidly and it was and I'm sure you will pick that more the book were talking here with Ellen Rittenberg. She's the author of why is grandma naked.

For your agent. I just love the title of this book this be Roseburg… Hopefully caregiver silvery Jewish family care, like better caregivers.

This part of our journey is the speed Roseburg about three decades as a caregiver. I spent my share of nights in the hospital trying to sleep in rooms on old Alcott cheers and even the floor was caregivers. We have to sleep in uncomfortable places, but we don't have to be miserable. Do what were doing in my home by using pillows for my pillow.com. These things are greatly heavy patented interlocking field adjusting your individual sleep needs and for caregivers trying to sleep in a hospital room chair believing our individual sleep needs get ramped up significantly know I've never liked taking pillows from home to the hospital was because I never felt like I could get them clean again, but with pillows for my pillow.com you could throw them in the washer and dryer get a 10 year warranty guarantee not to go flat 60 day moneyback guarantee that made the USA as a caregiver you need rest to start by going to my pillow.com type in the promo code caregiver get 50% off the four pack which includes two premium pillows and to go anywhere. Pillows receive a discount on anything else on the website. When using your promo code caregiver. That's my pillow.com promo code caregiver. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time I questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis.

We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated limbs. All of this is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others standing without.com. I'm Gracie.

I am staining with help. I am into the heart of isolation and the challenges of being a family caregiver connecting you with others who have journey down this bringing a lifetime of experience to offer a lifeline to you as a fellow caregiver and a caregivers hard enough. It's hard when you're doing it alone and were glad that you with were talking with Ellen Rittenberg she is from Long Island. I would have say that today have Long Island on the guy that she is a seasoned attorney. She's a journalist she's an author, she's a caregiver at her new book is called wash grandma naked caring for your agent. Which I love that I did tell John know you know will end as we talked about earlier.

We fans of humor and and see the way it can be used to really help out a caregiver.

You can get and get us through some difficult times, or even just process it afterward.

What were talking earlier so I just I really appreciate your you putting this, work out there.

So thank you.

What this book comes out next month. Can you believe that spring is a week from seven a month from Saturday.

Don't say things like that. Elsewhere I am in selfless Montana Rockies spring seems like a distant cousin construct here. In fact, it's so cold today.

How cold is it Starbucks serving coffee on a stick, but anyway no so would this book comes out in an would you would you share this book with people so okay this is my new book publisher you fairly well the stuff what was a response to the title on the condo with my wonderful to stand up on the ballot like we were. We were sitting in a writing white and I don't know if some of you caregivers that are caregivers of people who are older something something Angela you will find a they want to take off their clothes and they don't think you start and they do it not mom clouds moved in with my shield onto a major streets in her community on the issue with getting a bit stable not quite altogether, but certainly not in the state of drastic, ever, ever being in front of an open window, and I will just see what was your answer a question gave me that kind of smile which you know.

I shrugged and felt he had declined all that my belly think I can tell you a couple of a couple ones that are just go right out the window. Belfast would you like me to tell you one of them really for John. Love floor nostrils and mouth like we can tell your writer because there was lovely wordsmithing on exploring what what you've done in this book Ellen and and I think it's going to you. I'd like to like to find out if you get this feedback. Indeed, I think what you could do in this book is help people not be so freaked out about some of the stuff I have all think I'm almost certain that you're going people to read this article to say all okay okay alright so this is not abnormal. This is not something I did go see a shrink about. This is something that is just part of the journey and it's it's going to be okay and I think you you've taught you the amazing job of of the stigmatizing Zetterberg, John is a much more but up.

You have you've normalize us a little bit and take away a little bit of the embarrassment of staying or the comfortability of it discomfort of an uncomfortable looking. I like to think of things as I go along with. No, I think this is important Ellen because you you know you were there you have the ability to use words to help other people to not freak out so much in and your words are comforting. They're engaging there. There there that they still ascribe dignity to the individuals all and and and help depressurized the fear that's in our own hearts of God.

This is this things coming off the rails will unit is a little bit. It's good to be all right. You can tell by the way, I'd love to was your son involved with with any of your caregiving journey with his grandmother realized something was happening and I was not inclined to date item like you know grandma at this stage exactly and incontinence. Okay, I'm a nice tactic that laugh out loud funny about, and they come to a point sometimes unfortunately where you think they were in pain and I sitting at a table with their grand grand son or daughter and my son Contini said to grandma, grandma, are you okay grandma was okay but it's okay there you wouldn't want to hear what your fellow log Islanders Jim Brewer comedian Jim Brewer was on her show some years ago we talked about that with his daddy to kiss dead on the road with when he was doing stuff from 7-Eleven and all these other things he's done it was just a wonderful tribute to his father, yet he he he talked about heat, but he did so. So was so much humor and clever ways of saying it that it took away all the whole bunch just like this just life is just life. And so I'm a big fan of standup comedian. So we may have to have your son on the shows will and this week we love you because humor is so critical to this. I've said this often eligible leave you with this quote I want to hear your response to this caregivers we we have no shortage of tears, but the laughter is is very scarce responded that really quickly just 30 seconds or so in your heart, you're a parent of very young children little soft and wonderful play will set the place and that's where humor can help us live a little bit easier.

Those places this is Ellen Rittenberg. Her website is all right your G.com will link to this on the podcast I am on the jury for your aging. Hello Ellen, thank you so much for being a part of the show really my will be right back.

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