An Interview With Caregiver Warrior Susanne White

A book about the show or caregivers about caregivers hosted by caregiver I bring you three decades of experience is not one that's not to, but that's three decades of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as you take care of someone who's not a love that song because it is a perfect description of our guest today. Her name is Susan Suzanne white. She is a Jersey girl who lives in Brooklyn or website is caregiver warrior.com she is a warrior and we are thrilled to have her with us is anywhere. This will welcome to the show. Welcome to the show honor here, I sought you out because I've been following you on Twitter for so long now and I love your post. I love your passion to get out there and really take it to this issue from from a fighter standpoint, not just were not just passive were not just trying to get through it, but were going to actually gain some ground and and here's a quote that you have on your website. I love this assist caregiving is like going to war every day we fight to keep our loved one safe and supported with dignity like a warrior.

Caregivers are fearless, courageous, and passionate about protecting those they care for and I love that tell us a little bit about your store, your background, how this came to be for you. I wonderful opportunity. Thank you so much for that quote. I can't believe a warrior, and I think that caregivers are just amazing people and I think often we come to caregiving, not expecting to my dad was World War II Bob here six-foot tall guy. My mom was little fire Irish Catholic and they were navigating the early 80s really well. We had no idea that my mom was showing signs of early dementia they were doing a great job of hiding it. My dad was a caregiver warrior himself and one holiday season coming to meet us offer holiday be taken off the plane on in a wheelchair. I got a call from my sister and I think I just got off the plane on wheelchair and I said what and that's when it started, I began to realize that my dad was now exhausted and my mom is showing pretty serious signs of early dementia, so I dad, do you want me to help you. He wants and help and he said yes so fast I I said okay and that was it. Not knowing what it would mean I just showed up when you said you had an unexpected reaction from your mother did, I didn't mean well and expected that it was expected and that he was a very proud woman who ruled the roost and I knew that me taking over what she would be easy with but her violent reaction related to her anger and violence around the fact that she did not want my help me me a little bit was your mom was your dad covering for your mother and her dementia. Yeah, absolutely. And and I think I think that some of us now. I think that they do that people hi because of fear and pride. And yet if you lived and worked really well together. They were extremely close and the two of them worked really well together to hide the fact that they were both needing a lot of help and assistance.

So instead of you know, slinking away, you just roll up your sleeves and jumped into this with with great courage and conviction and talk about that little bit I record everything you know that I think caregivers are hardwired to be caregivers. I think we come here that this way and I think that I spoke to so many caregivers in and they say will of course take care of my loved one up close. I took care of what we do. We don't think about it.

We show up.

I mean that's what caregivers do. I think that were people that want to be there for those that need us and I didn't have a problem showing up on my sleeve that what I did have a bit of an issue with your probably help me in the agreement. I didn't realize what I was in for.

And I got to a point where I thought well I can be really miserable doing all I can make this a journey and that was a turning point for me. Will we see a lot of the show use Ms. Rose Visible or as happy as you choose to be in love and that's I see a lot of caregivers who feel like they're condemned to be miserable with this and I say no you don't have to be. You really don't. But it does take work to not be miserable it's it's a lot easier to just go ahead and be miserable and company will something that sadly people around to listen to complaints and I want my life I have funny feeling in my gut that this is going to be the greatest thing I would ever do in my life and it turned out that way. So you want to make it minute of it. Dirty and great it was. I was going to be there. Will your dad was so you most less than how much, much of that warrior thing you've adopted came from him came from them. Would you like this. Prior to this is a caregiver where you pretty pretty tough. Oh, or did it bring it out in your how to have that work down, but I think that my dad had a quiet man.

I think he had a quiet command is like that kind of soldier. I think he was no serious and had a serious quiet command. My mom was a fighter and and she taught me a lot but fight a lot and I growing up so II was tough to begin with what I you Jersey.

I am John listen to what exit you from jersey number four all that your traffic baby did you did you have any experience whatsoever before jumping into this now you know it was one of the person on the job training absolutely are so if you would tell somebody right now who's just out tuning in the show.

This is the driving we weather would be good love to go hey offender shall by accident used that phrase. But somebody just said that they just turn on the could believe this is a chauffeur caregivers in their dealing with this white male were there getting blowback or anger.

Whatever from parents and their having to just jump in with both feet you've been there you know what that's like. Tell me what you would want to tell them what that person would be would be so helpful for them right now me today that they can incorporate in their life go down. You don't have to be perfect were not perfect which human is no such thing as a perfect caregiver taking evening. Keep it simple, just slow down huge learning curve for everybody and you don't have to do it all at once I jump in on.

I jumped in so fast and try to take everything over and try to do it all and you know my parents were overwhelmed that I simply slow down you know you can't just come in here take over everything feeling chilly all have feelings and you just have to sorta read the room once said you know we need this family we move at the speed of our slowest member and we caregivers tend to be what I call high functioning multitaskers a mean, you know, we can just we can rock 'n' roll you never talking early before the show in your listen. I had the Amazon deliveries the house. The dog dogs bark yours making tea for gracious pack that most of us did all this a Bluetooth. Did you hear all this clatter go to see what is this guy doing the beating of pots and fight it but that's what our life. This is a caregiver. It it is slowing down is a big part of our challenges because we want to hurry up and keep it all from flying apart and I guess you've learned the hard way. I'm guessing I know you've learned the hard way it's gonna fly apart no matter what we do know I don't go back to court. I feel guilty home phone matter what happens. So slowly down. Look at the pros and con change in the wrong one you change it, you know, why don't you know try to be perfect caregiver, and no thing like a perfect caregiver right I share that with more people in on the show we we judge ourselves by our performance which if were going to be fair.

Let's judge yourselves also borrow attendance because our attendance is perfect weather is our poor performance is not that's not an issue because were never got your right were never to get it right but we keep showing up and that's more something that's valuable I don't yes the crash test dummy of caregivers have had ample time to make much every kind of mistake you can make what are some what are some big I got a book coming out this fall called seven caregiver landmines and how you can avoid it. What's a big landmine for you that you found this like all man I gotta stay away from that what it what's a big land. My big mistake your big party carrier whatever that you just look back is all that is. That's a hard thing for me to learn whatever I want was slow down and enjoy having that that whole thing with talk about slowing down.

I got in there. Everything right away. Try to hold everything you know, my mom, my dad, sometimes in China on the phone I get that appointment to make sure the right when I could just stop and help Buddy's hand a little more you know any so I was a land like really really help myself.

And please slow down and hang in there with when they're gone, you know you're going to look back and I wish I had really spent more time and the other landmine not acting like not good enough and not affecting my love one could feel that they had control parts of their life. I know Nina, I gotta leave the room saying you gotta read you know I got taking care of other family members also and sometimes don't let people be and we don't let them be living today and we try to change them change the circumstance I concur with those a lot. I love that we don't read the room were so busy trying to fix it and I think a lot of this for me it was driven by fear.

If I don't do this this thing is really going to spit spin out of control and that fear would cause a manic missing me to have the same approach with you so much. I mean, I would like morning so much fear caregiving for me a lot about fear caregiving gave me a self awareness that I don't down myself to find out why I was the way I was acting my parents forget my other one way because I was frightened or scared. You know think that like I get that list were almost sometimes only trade you folks information on how to get in touch with you. Your website is caregiver warrior.Tom caregiver warrior.com your blog is euros considered one of the top 50 blogs of of all of the subject out there just admire you are the work you're doing.

I appreciate you. You've you've logged in enough time at this with so that your season that you really know what you're talking about it in your advocate and you're passionate about this in a way that few I think are I just I really appreciate you taking the time to come on the show to talk about on our you know I feel my dear, I think that Han and talking about her feelings and talking about what we go to it. Caregiver is so ordinary caregiving isolate and I think no one can talk a caregiver like another caregiver you know how much bigger one with you and speak caregiver to show that's why the show exist is to reach those folks in that isolation.

They can't get out were to bring it to you were to bring you stories from other folks like Suzanne who have really done that she cc she's done the work. She knows the journey and this is good stuff that she offered to do.

Hope you take advantage of this is Suzanne what caregiver warrior.com Susan, thank you so much for being on the show with this today and I part part of being a caregiver. By the way, is getting a good nights rest and I can tell you something. This is kind of cool if you go to my pillow.com try my pillow.com you see the guy do it. You know, Michael, Bill, by the way, I could do a mic with Bill John Michael.are you sure you want high IQ talk like Mike Lindell by pillow.com if you got my pillow.com and type of the word caregiver for the promo code caregiver. I'm not kidding 50% off of the four pack to get the two and the two travelogues. I've got these pillows you would their good stuff. They are good pillows job and a great pillow fight pillows to just kidding. Their good grace. He has one. I have one and you came to my pillow.com type in the word caregiver for promo code hey don't go away. We got more to go. The numbers 877-655-6755. We will be right back 65 American service caregiver for sick or disabled. You're one of them listen to my friend show really good