My Mother's Behavior Makes Me Want To Start Drinking Again

Hope you're doing this is relations them will show for the family caregiver. I am Peter Rosenberg. Three decades of experience to help you stay strong and healthy should take care of someone who is not, and we are glad you're with us.

The phone lines are open, and evidently I could've nerve with this topic because stuff started getting very full and will talk about relationships and people who are trapped in this this very difficult place of thinking.

I've gotta make somebody happy who has an impairment whether it's Alzheimer's, whether substance abuse, whether it's drugs weathers prescription drugs under doctor's care, or whether there taken illicitly.

Whether they have autism. That doesn't matter if you are in that bondage of thinking. You gotta make somebody else happy with that. So make someone happy know that's not good theology compact have cut here to help make someone else happy. What I am do is to live a calm or healthier and even more joyful life while I deal with sometimes very difficult realities. And that's our that's our places caregivers at the safe place for us as caregivers will realize I'm not responsible for that I am responsible to treat them with respect, I am responsible to honor my mother and father. Scripture tells me that's our Scripture for today but I'm not responsible, all in honor Alzheimer's. I'm not responsible to owner Lou Gehrig's disease. I'm not responsible to owner autism. Okay, it's really important that we understand the difference when the disease calls you don't have to answer the phone right. You're not responsible. That list go to the phones as go to Kim in Michigan. Kim good morning welcome to show how you feel wonderful Mr. Rosenberg. I really appreciate your program to quantify weaker, more like this I need you speak with ministers and pastors, and nobody has an answer. Nobody on my mother that we don't have an answer on the show but we do have a pass. Okay, that's the difference we had. I can't give you answers anymore. You give answers to me with my situation with, but I can what I can do is help get a will that path to safety where we could always caregivers catch her breath taken me if we need him and then start developing better ways to deal with. This would tell us what's going on in your life okay.

My mother 92 and are back if I can remember.

She from England, Scotland, and not affect medication take her like it only suspect that there is a little bit of an imbalance with her since they wanted to remember five pictures old. However, she has progressed, I felt like a brand-new heart share quadruple bypass. But you got a lot energy.

However, I what was happening as I have to go over to her house every morning before work. Give her her pills almost dropped the matter mouth Earl. She won't take out which is the hypothyroid on and it it's very difficult when we went got her check her B12 levels are very very low which is dangerous for the elderly and she said I don't care. Talk to me again I'm not taken that B12 shot and she has become increasingly aggressive nasty toward me, five concern got an adult protective services in box. I'm worried and worried about her and she is fine with that. She is normal she clear she's kind and sweet, but she save that all up. She states that all up for me and I was talking to. I'm not Catholic even though everything I listen to is on the American family radio station, but he just didn't know what to say. I mean, you tried on your parents.

You try to do the right thing and it's just continued nastiness take the pills in which don't take the pill what you reap with not taking a high for hyper thyroid is it.

It's you only believe that it there completely unbalanced. The digestive system doesn't work and it's just it's cyclical goes on and on and on and nastiness. I don't really I think make it progressed a little bit with old age. But it's been there since I was very young I finally will probably probably won't get better.

Kim I mean you know it. If it is 90 something years old, she's probably not the change from that too much probably get a little bit worse. In fact, however, you got somebody that's helping you with this services you she's nice to them, will she take the B12 with them. No show pretentious like on finding financial talk them into leaving, she is very true. She's intelligent there's pocketbook clarity done. The word you look at public manipulative out narcissistic. I don't know in I don't know what to do I pray about it. The last episode very nasty but intelligent enough to voice you can really pull it over and then you try to discuss this with care worker outside of the family and they looking like you're crazy because here's the little old lady.in it.

It's exhausting and it makes you just I quit drinking nine years ago.

I have I had an alcohol problem to become family grow and evoke any it's okay to put it is.

You can either carry around. You can fix the porch with what the AA quit drinking, but she makes you just want to gobble a gallon outside.

I mean it. You try everything. Everything will first off, congratulations on your recovery okay Atlas AA.

Here's here's the deal with with your mother. You can't be responsible for what somebody else puts in their own body or doesn't put in their own body coming at some point she said she's a grown woman 90 some years older she may be impaired. She may not be she may just be mean she may be manipulative.

All those things.

But at some point she's going to be responsible unless she is mentally incompetent for her own well-being. You're not, you are not dishonoring her.

If you take your hands off of this for little bit. Now you can do what I call a cutout and you have somebody else that gets involved with this and that may be her primary care doctor now does her primary care doctor know about all these things that it is just Iraqi said that actually I they called the other day and said your mother's meds are ready to be picked up in a sublime I'm I really can't take care of her anymore.

Got a lot energy she walks she talks get around so they went back to her doctor, the primary care and I have a feeling you'll find somebody else in the family. Now my other sister we don't. We've never been close, but she looked on the other side of the. The United States and she was over there for couple years and just she was just dropped back so the other sister can't care for her, if any, she drives everybody not it's very difficult for me to drive everybody nuts will. What is nice if you go down. What's the plan there's no plan, no real family communicates. I know I try to get that you get the legal thing involved got the attorneys involved get everybody on a conference call what we get to do it all. Her legal work.

Did all her beneficiary work and then the other sister came in took everything over.

Put everything in her name drop her back off in Michigan. No one called or told me how tight this road and find it very it's it's in the fine line with me is you know you want to do the God thing you want will don't want to disappoint her. Dear Lord and its loose lips eliciting her view of God little bit that you're not somehow able to struggle with this. Anything else in God's at the with the big grading pad try to say okay Kim you really you really messed this one up. You know where you have to slap you around little bit that's not the way God works okay. He understands the pain of this he took care of his own mother from the cross okay was listless but all this in perspective, and first off, it's Peter you have to call me Mr. anything and is just is just Peter. What we don't stand up for more formalities here at 7 o'clock on Saturday morning here in Nashville so we don't we will stay at a finality sweat. We I think that the the first thing you do is is continue working your recovery program. Okay, because the stress of this is going to affect your own journey. If you struggle with alcoholism. This is not exactly what you call a helper for that and so you keep working your program.

You stay in touch with your sponsor.

You do that for you.

First, that that is that is paramount for you to be the good place on your recovery program. The second thing is you can talk with her primary care doctor and let them know. Look, I got take a step back. My mother is is unwilling and abusive and very difficult for me to deal with. There's too many family dynamics so you guys work it all out how to and if you and if you think that if if if if you tell this to the doctor say look, if you think that she's a danger to herself or others. Your doctor okay I will do what I can, but I met him at a stand standoff with her from having to fight her to take care of her and I don't think that's a good place in the something and until the doctor said look if something happens to me there is no good plan. So it in and the doctor may be able to refer you to some type of social worker who can help arbitrate this and move you guys down a different path and I would I would probably recommend that but I think you could need those cutouts of of buffers between you and your mom so that you can on the you can help her, but you may have to help her from a little bit further distance than you been doing, there's no need to walk in to that link stick your hand in that blender and every time you do by your own definition this morning makes you want to start drinking and that's a bad place for you. So if you turn if you turned back to drinking this thing is going to turn into a Greek tragedy and so what we want to do is help you get to a place of safety where you realize okay I'm gonna work my program. I'm to be going to AA and then be working on this acute listen to the station. Keep a list of this show and keep your self in that very narrow path of safety and then have that honest conversation with her physician and with her care providers and say look this is what's going on. If you don't like it. Help me because she's she's going to hurt herself this way and I can't force her to take these things and you can independent mentoring to hospital because our bodies were shut down. I can guarantee you if if that doctors dealing with a 92-year-old patient.

It's not the first 92-year-old patient that Dr. still with and and that's that's where we started. That's not an answer, Kim, were not giving answers on the show. What were doing is trying to develop strategies to deal with something that is way beyond our skill set.

You do not have specialties in geriatric medicine. I'm I'm assuming no and so I would its way beyond our skill set. But if you if it takes you down into path where your addiction starts cranking back up. That's a bad place for you and I can contain them. Speaking for pretty much everybody listing across the country right now saying we want you to be safe. That's important to us. Kimbo okay direction. I listen God bless you, thank you for calling Kim this is hope for the caregiver. I am Peter Rosenberger will be like that