Hope for the Caregiver

And Nashville Tennessee. This is hope for the caregiver. This is the nation's number.

The family caregiver. We are live on American family radio bringing you more than three decades of experience. I am Peter Rosenberger how you feel.

This is a show for caregivers to answer the question of how they are feeling, how they are doing what they are struggling with and how we can help and get them to a place of safety and how we can help the caregiver become a healthier individual healthy caregivers make better caregivers. 888-589-8840 is the show call in number and you can be a part of the show would love to have you with this very grateful. As always, to American family radio for recognizing that the family caregiver is an at risk.

Individual if the caregiver goes down. What happens to that love one that impaired level who's dealing with all kinds of different things. The scenarios are endless. As far as the struggles but the resources of the family caregiver are not endless and that's who we are on a mission to help strengthen and help get get them to a place of safety where they can catch their breath taken me and then develop healthier strategies to live and understand that God strengthen provision and grace are available right in the midst of this that we've expanded the conversation. A lot of people think caregivers were going to let nursing homes know were not of any caregiver since I was 22 years old through a medical nightmare. My wife is now had 80+ surgeries.

Both legs amputated well over $10 million in the list just keeps on going and going and going. My brother has a daughter with cerebral palsy. She's 30 years old, she's basically like taking care of 18-month-old. She has issued she can't walk if she's completely confined to wheelchair so forth. And she's 30. She's been this way you know her whole life. There's no nursing home involved in this. We've also expanded the conversation to addiction issues. If you have somebody with an impairment years and your stand between them and even worse disaster.

You're the caregiver so you're looking at somebody with an addiction issue. That's a chronic disease. There is no cure. There's recovery.

That's a lot of work but some people choose not to go down that path.

But there's always a caregiver and their orbit opioids alcohol doesn't matter, Alzheimer's, autism go down the list. If there's an impairment. There's a caregiver somewhere in the orbit.

How do we help those individuals. What does it look like what what it would. What are the things it what was the vocabulary of helping the family caregiver. These are things that we deal with. These are things that we do and we are so glad that you're with today on American family radio, you know, I do hope I do want to give a big shout out across the country only.

Right now, people listening in and there thinking are you kid me, there's a show for caregivers and said no I'm not getting this is what we do and if we don't do it. Who's going to know where were you going to go to find help with this. The caregivers are isolated but by definition were ice is one of the seven caregiver landmines. My new book and we talk about school seven caregiver landmines and how you can avoid them in isolation is one of those and you can get that book anywhere you want across the country. Million in bookstores, whatever, Amazon, Barnes & Noble doesn't matter just came out last week and isolation cripples caregivers. We are on a mission here with American family radio in this show hope for the caregiver to pick penetrate into that isolation so that caregivers know that they're not alone, that there is help, there is hope.

Also want to give up just if you'll indulge me for just a moment 35 years ago tomorrow.

My wife was driving towards our consultant meet a friend she was a freshman in college and she had a horrible Rick the. The car slammed into concrete abutment flipped over into a ravine and caught on fire. 10 trucker stopped to put out the fire. They rush Devon to call for help and they stayed with her until help arrived and the date they use all the fire extinguishers to put out the fire.

They it was it was a pretty gruesome Rick I one resident later counted at the hospital 200 breaks that we can count. I didn't know at the time I met her a couple years later when she returned back to college. She had a severe limp and a lot of scars particular lower legs which he eventually lost but out.

I just want to share with you with those truckers did and you can read more about this story at at our website up at this blog post update stating with hope.com. There a lot of truckers listen to the station and and there out there right now on the road and I just if you'll just indulge me for a moment, folks closely to these truckers. Thank you because some of them have stopped at Rick's and you never know the story of what's gonna happen, but they didn't go down that that that ravine and and see this horrible mess and start judging my wife or saying anything to her. She just a 17-year-old girl they just said were here the Fetter name that kept her awake. She was able slur out her name come in and out of consciousness and some of them were were crying as they were doing it, and in some of them got nauseous because her body was so contorted in theirs. In this read multiple compound fractures of the whole thing. It was it was pretty gruesome and in these truckers kept saying over and over helps on the way to get you to safety would be okay. Stay with us stay with us would be okay were here were here were here and the paramedics got there they they were able to get her out of the car and get her to the hospital and and the long journey of recovery began 35 years later, all the surgeries all the stuff we launched the prosthetic limb outreach when she give up her leg.

She wanted to reach her fellow amputees.

So there people walking in Africa right now because Gracie trusted God with with this horrible loss this show exist in no small part to her trust in God with this and the impact it's had on me and all of it can be traced with the fingerprints of those truckers who saved her life put out the fire call for help and who gave words of encouragement in the midst of it. That's what the show is about. We can't fix what's going on and were certainly not going to come in there and judge and say what were what you think of why we doing this by reading this of that that happens a lot with people when when we get into these terrible wrecks of sin. What we rush to judgment would not rush to ministry. The truckers did more about how she got there, they just want to make sure she got to safety. That's what the show is about were not gonna die sick how you got in this place, which is going to help you get to safety and get professionals involved in get you on a path to recovery is a caregiver because if you go down.

What happens to your loved one, and it ultimately I'm not qualified any more than anybody else's.

To be able to fix any of these things you can't fix what I deal with I can fix what you deal with. That's not what this is about but we can strengthen each other along the way, we can minister to each other on the way, we can point to the one who can work through these things and redeem these things and and and and and work fluid of path recoveries with us that we can do it we can develop healthy strategies of of moving away from from bad places we can rush to cars that are on fire with fire extinguishers, we can do that and that's what were going to do together and I need you to do it for me as much as you need me to do it for you and that's how we do it and that is hope for the caregiver is that conviction that we as caregivers can live a calm or healthier and there are saying more joyful life as we care for one another as we care for someone we love has an impairment of some kind really back in just a moment, take your calls. 888-589-8840 888-589-8840.

This is hope for the caregiver. I am Peter Rosenberg and I'm glad you with American family radio and family is the middle name of American family radio and your family caregiver person going after. Thank you for being part of this you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to.

I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs. They became. I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time, my questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs. All of this is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others@thatstandingwithhim.com. I'm Gracie. I am staining without show for caregivers about.

It was hosted by caregiver. This is hope for the caregiver, the nation's number one show for the family caregiver. I am Peter Rosenberg are bringing the three decades of experience is not one Vicki that's not to decades X3 decades of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as you take care of someone is not and we are glad you with this. 888-589-8840 888-589-8840.

Let me go quickly here because of the one loser she's I know she's gotta run to go be a caregiver of this is Rebecca in Mississippi. Rebecca good morning how you feeling well. We know for minimize agent limited abilities that do it all right. Rebecca Hale, no, no, you don't get to do that. Rebecca is not the reason I share my resume is to to set the table here why were doing this because if if I've learned to see God's provision and what I'm dealing with that. I want you to feel encourage that you can see them and what you're dealing with.

Okay, so don't minimize yours Gracie doesn't allow people to minimize their pain when next to hers, and I don't want to do the same thing. We want you to. All we want us to all come together. Trust that you know what if there trust in God and that the national give me the courage to trust God and my stuff okay. I had that that's one of the rules.

We have a show you'd never minimize your pain� I don't know because I haven't done it without help. What's going on January and had a good job job with good and one old man trying all you do about all you don't have to get to this with one of the things I also want to do is we will let caregivers know that it's okay to we, but we can try to weep healthy tears a lot to me. Caregivers and youth see distracts with you have been there myself. We weep tears of rage and despair. What we were going weep list see if we can weep healthy tears and come together and grieve in a healthy manner instead of just with her fist clenched and just or interest despair. So if you got a crack you got a cry. It's all right my strong one para Carl are not that big man and paralyzed his right. I cannot do anything for him at gunpoint and fast on my caregiver. Monday and not comfortably but not pay anything on very good care of Nate. Not good. Plan on he had going down so I'm going to work and and good health is a lesson I was so your doctor can't find that yearly checkup and is good. That's one of the first steps we do is help each other to the doctor to make sure that were healthy. Do you have a plan. If something happens to you, and one of the things that I'm concerned about on children and her hat cabin.

We have no children to Our children.

Children are no way that they found that, that twice a year to thank him for an hour or two live that far away. So the line is in our another, or our another stop. Now that I'm not."

My thoughts are like a cow at least will what about it simply, it may be a good idea to have a family meeting because if something happens to you to meet your one sprained ankle away from this thing turned into a Greek tragedy in if something happens to you.

What's the plan, you may not be over to enforce that plan, you may not be able to even write that plan, but it might be time to sit down with somebody professionally to help you lay out okay. What are the next steps we need to do. Maybe it's a situation where you can you call your pastor and you said that would your pastor say look, we got come up with a plan here and how to enlist these people who are not helping or not involved and and let them know that there's some responsibility they have and if they choose not to do the responsibility that that's their decision. You can't make somebody do the right thing, but what you do is lay out what the need is in assigned roles and if they choose not to take those roles then you know how did you go to work around around them and you don't sit there just get all resentful about it. You just recognize okay this is what it is. Other consequences to the but if you see that with the pastor some type of mental health counselor, social worker, somebody could possibly bring objectivity to this and help you lay out the strategic plan of what this looks like because at some point Rebecca your 75 years old.

I don't know that you're going to get you know much healthier as you get older you know that you say that I delicately have working there. I have real and not just work your 70 caregiving years. Do you have left because of the stress on you as a caregiver is no small thing, and in so that I would recommend that Harley that you sit down with somebody and develop some kind of strategic plan by book is called seven caregiver landmines. One of the landmasses think that this is all up to you and and so I it's it's so Rebecca, I'm embarrassed to say it's so easy to read you'd read in the bathroom.

I know because that's where I wrote and no I'm just kidding. Got it right there.

Rebecca but it's it is it is a road it is, the field manual that I put up blogs of all kinds of stuff for this very reason, because it's very disorienting you don't know what to do any kind of just coast along thinking okay were just get through this little white knuckle it but you can't and so Blake, are you involved in the church that would house your relation with your pastor.

Do you think he's pretty sharp fella older than when you were talking about that. I wondered how much social worker on board that I believe I would talk to her house for more insight than my pastor would. I think she good and I would highly recommend it. Social workers are some of my favorite people in the whole world and in the that they can. They have their finger on the pairs of books available, passionate, take advantage of that. Okay, ask, ask if you can just sit down with her for 3045 minutes and just can't start from there.

Get the book 1st so that you have the vocabulary of what you're looking for and then you sit down with her and you got a plan and by the way the book is it's less than eight bucks.

This is just a little field manual on different caregiver so that they know what they're about and it's seven caregiver landmines and how you can avoid them.

It's real simple and not just me and plug about the right there.

Seven caregiver landmines and how you can avoid the and and it's I mean it's it's really there to to put in your you can carry in your pocket in your purse whatever just okay look here's what I'm hitting today of it I hit these things all the time. I wrote the book for myself. Rebecca because I got up I got a rebound book. I was in my own show. I have caregiver amnesia and forget everything I learned yesterday. You have to go back and relearn it again today, but that's how you doing I just keep everywhere anywhere. Books are sold. Amazon, Barnes & Noble of any bookstore that you want.

They don't have it yet but it just came out this week that they can order and it is also available on Kindle versions will electronic and I'm actually working on the audio version of mother book.

I did do an audio version of that would and on Amazon audible so I did. I got block stuff that I put out there. My podcast is free. It's out it hope for the caregiver.com.

There's so many different things out there put out there for this very reason, because it can get very disorienting that you know this.

Listen, I've got a bunch of calls that are coming and I got I got a run to Rebecca when you keep listening to the show we keep listening okay. You're the reason I do the show not know about your program that I work every other Saturday and I came across that now look forward to listening to it, but I have to get out and go to work now you go to work. We look forward to having you on the show.

Thank you and I will run on okay thank right Bubba billet Indiana good morning are you feeling feeling pretty good.

Good morning. Well what's what's going on. We well I'm trying to make the shortest possible to be 52 next month and my dad who was 75 and I've had a tumultuous relationship. My whole entire life. I was pretty young when I was been diagnosed is what everybody calls OCD. Now, and it was in response to his alcoholism in the way he treated my mom and that kind of stuff and it sounded I'm not the only person that that deals with trying to be perfect so that you don't get yelled at and is been this way.

Marcus eyeballed her life and about a year ago I decided I was done dealing with him. I just couldn't take it anymore from him call me at work great and Alyssa Holland doing the do you mind no. No problem at all. We got tickets again take quick heartbreak will be right.

I don't know go because you this is an important topic of don't go away okay I will. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is hope for the caregiver. This is the nation's number one show for the family caregiver and whatever impairment your stand between the doesn't have to be Alzheimer's, be alcoholism used in between that worst disaster the caregiver I would show 880-589-8840 will be right show for caregivers about.

It was hosted by caregiver. This is hope for the caregiver on American family radio. I am Peter Rosenberger. Three decades of experience to help you stay strong and healthy take care of someone who is not. 888-589-8840 is the number if you will be a part of the show were tough with Bill, who has grown up in the home of them when alcoholic father who is now you have the care form. Is that right Bill yahoo this one little other go to the story, about a year ago I just finally decided after about calls at work in and be in a drunken state, and the things he would say accuse me about that.and I talked in a couple times and then this last July he fell and hit his head and but he was completely inebriated when he fell. So when he went to the hospital. They kinda ran through my camping. The medicine I gave them to help them through withdrawals and everything and when he came out of it. He has not. He can't swallow very well as the swallowing mechanism is not working and Stephanie swallow gets into his lungs, which had a peg and I really pray that a fantastic life. Great church and I had prayed you. Maybe I need to stay with dad he finally got to come home from a nursing on the possible monarchical see from the middle July till the middle of October and it still dealing you know it it's his house. It's almost like I'm nine years old again and he could he can take care of himself somewhat but he scared to be by himself and there is so much stuff that is happen in life and I'm always afraid to confront him about because it is like offenders like I'm nine years old 10 years old and I just looking for anything advise the book something to help me do not fear I may get up over the spirit talk to him and say hey you know the reason you driven your two lives away in your family ways because of the Jekyll and Hyde deal with your alcoholism. We need to call what it is and and I I just can't take me in and obliterated anymore I guess is the next let's start right there� That's our starting point. The first step is to get you away from being nine years old you 52 so you not nine years old and you are not in any way bound to this this man's disease and his behavior. Unfortunately, this that's with this disease does it disorient you in makes you think that you are so we want to help you detach from that is best as possible. There places you go for that Al-Anon is I would highly recommend you go into an Al-Anon meeting.

Are you familiar with Al-Anon. I'd heard of it that are all never been to.

Don't don't go there with any expectations other than there's a group of people who were dealing with the same stuff that meet in anonymity and they deal with the same things that you're dealing with with the family member who has an addiction issue and you can hear your story come out of somebody else's mouth and that's where you start because the principles that you can learn that will help you detach from your father's disease you know that I can't shame your father or argue your father reason with your father into recovery he's gonna do that himself.

What you can do is learn for you to live more healthily in this and and that's the go, you didn't.

You didn't cause this.

You can't fix it okay that that that that's where your your power. Stop at the at the end of what you can do all you can do is be in control of Bill not in control of your father or his recovery or his demise, he may not make it.

Bill but you have to you got you got a family that's counting on you to not be nine years old to be 52 years old your fathers made his choices. He's got his life.

He's got his thing going on, he's in a place number. People are starting to see what is happened to him. He may not make it, but you have to it. And those are hard words.

Those are hard words Bill and I don't mean them to be anything other than what they are because it's blunt force truth, but that's sometimes that's what we as caregivers need in the midst of her craziness is that blunt force truth.

You have spent a lifetime being a slave to your father's disease and it will, it will affect you for the rest your life and your children so this is your time now to step in to this and say you know what, no more no more. I'm going to go on a path of recovery for myself, no matter what happens to my father did the best I can to care for, but I am not obligated to fix him to save him. He has a Savior look at the what. Here's what I do look down at your hands if you don't see nail prints this eight years to fix. You know you know he has a Savior. You wait that Savior and and that's that. Your starting point real is okay. What is my responsibility honoring your father does not mean honoring his disease.

You can honor your father without honoring his disease and it's hard because it looks like it's the same person but it is not underneath all this dysfunction is your dad. The man you want to honor and you can but you do not have to honor alcoholism. What you have to do is back away from that so that you can be healthy no matter what he's doing when you go home to your wife and your kids after being with your dad.

They don't need to have a nine-year-old walk in the house right beside my my wife is fantastic you been so supportive.

She's always been supportive of this and she knows how hard it's been, and I just it's been this last few months really hard trying to figure out where I draw the line and I get to be maybe the second part of this question is as far as just confronting him and Santino bad. Here's the deal. Here's the whole situation is that something should come point.

Should that come to you can, but not right now, not right now.

You not in the place where your you you have the vocabulary or the strength to do that on your own.

You can get there and that's why working a good recovery program for yourself is going to help. That's why you go go to Al-Anon go to the usually have means they means everywhere you score the website if they're everywhere and it no, it is the is the best hour you'll ever spend.

And it's not necessarily because your dad's an alcoholic that you go in because you can go to Al-Anon for anything, you know, if you just go if you're if you're dealing with something you can't control and you're struggling with that. That's the place because that's what the whole point is to learn how to come to grips with this sitdown with your pastor. Sit out with a counselor I would recommend getting a counselor involved with you at this point Bill and just send out and lay this out because that's what they do there. There are lots of resources out there that you can go to that that will take that will strengthen you and give you the vocabulary of do this you don't have the toolbelt right now you know it beeped to be basically like you going out there trying to build something with with only the screwdriver you just don't know I don't have really good tabular and so but but you know what world to pull together with you and help you get the vocabulary and you can do this and your family will have the vocabulary and they'll know how to minister to you and know what's going on with you and you and your wife will be able to be able to that ship should be able to better understand what's going on with you and why that nine-year-old kid seems to emerge all the time in the face of this in your and your children with the same weight this. This is there is a recovery path for you on this. That's work, but you're not afraid to work and it's good it's it's good work Bill. It's it's it's a way of you reclaiming that which was stolen from you by this terrible disease. This disease has more than one victim and an you can move through this and that this is this is what God can and will do through your life when you trust with this is GoToMeeting your learning at a different set of skills and in words and so forth. That's okay. But know this thing will it will disorient you. It will take you down to some dark places and in you've Artie been there.

You're not responsible for your dad's destruction, you're just not, he's a grown man who's made his own grown man decisions and at some point you can see where God keep God's even interested in and helping him get to a place of recovery to God is and abandoned them right but but but but but alcoholics you got it all, but you gotta step away from this and let them spiral out of control until they get to the point where they want help more than they want alcohol and you also have to understand this bill.

Alcohol is not his problem that his idea of medication right whatever's going on in him. He's numbing that with alcohol and and now the alcohol is taken over, but but the even if he stopped drinking today, even if the if you get sobered up and never drinks another drop for the rest of his life he still got a deal with the inner turmoil of what was going on his life that led him to that place.

So this is a long, long, long journey that he may or may not be able to make.

Now these in physical bad situation here so your your challenges is to detach from this so that not not sever it. Just attach so that you are focused on the healthiest bill that you can be that that's that that's the goal.

And and and for you and your family that this thing stops now for your children say that for your wife's sake, for your sake that that certainly does and their domain conduct out like I'm just in a whirlwind of not knowing what to do know there's no way to talk to him about get upset I thought my driving and heard your show.

I thought you know you can have some have an idea what I should do next because I can't. I can't seem to theater light at the end of the tunnel.

I really appreciate you taking the time to talk will bill this is why would you want to do the show and I when I'm preaching to myself here because some real quick that he got a go but I can't argue with my wife's amputation.

Legs are going. I can't argue with that. I can't reason that I have to accept that it may not like it just have to accept it. Acceptance is not agreement is just except it's okay this is the reality reality is your father's an alcoholic and he has taken everybody. He's that's in his orbit into a bad place with that's acceptance. We don't like it would not agree with. But we do have to accept it in order for us to be able to say okay here's it is what it is that let's get to a place of safety. He may not make a car, but you have to bill. Please keep us in the show and feel free to call anytime. Artie, thank you so much appreciate your quite welcome bill. Thank you so much. 888-589-8840. This is hope for the caregiver and this is part of what we do here is is understand that that this is not about nursing homes, folks, this is not about learning how to caregiver. I'm not here to tell anybody how to cure gift. I'm here to to help point, my fellow caregivers and myself to a place of safety. We can live a calm healthier in here. I say the more joyful life. No matter what's going on.

That's the whole point. 888-589-8840 will be right back with more because this is Peter Rosenberg. This is hope for the caregiver were glad you with this. Hopefully caregiver.com. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time the questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs. All of this is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others that standing with.com. I'm Gracie. I am staining with help show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by caregiver.

This is hope for the caregiver on American family radio 888-589-8840. I am Peter Rosenberg are bringing more than 30 years of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as you take care of someone who is not with try to quickly squeeze in as many calls as possible for the end of the hour. Here Dane and Alabama to caregiver husband Dane good morning how you feeling later limit. This is Dane, and Alabama is a caregiver husband. You're not a husband, Diane, I'm sorry. It was a typo on that. I apologize for that. I attended to school and when I start I'm calling you thank you thank you you're right for your your program. I think that the caregiving thing and everything you're trying to dictate on radio today. It's absolutely trying experienced it. You know when would not allow I would not lie when the generational alcoholism and drug use and an I just wanted like to thank you thank you what's going on with quail hunting I'm 61 years out of my 60 it was quite different. I been married since I was 14 years old and had a dad with alcoholic dementia and psoriasis and and and he was out like a strong man in and controlling and when he started nine. My daughter, not what you know it, with very different product.

Thank different products thing him you know not recognize sin and the crazy thing that day when I got throughout that night we came in and it went often in case we thank God for that. I really feel like that is, no way God known as Wales United family there weight and having help taking care of him.

It was I had to take a leave of that word. My daughter you know she help me as she could but he was a younger person that I got there late and I got the Medicare hospice. Thank God I taken to the hospital and we came home after a week can day one hour later, hospice, count me in on thinking for like a minute. I know what this means MRU colony.

Medical professionals may own my husband never tell me that day.

The counselors we were saying never prepared us forget that we did not know that and it was a struggle 24 seven because that basically all alone and advise you Kelly Facebook no no and get you some time.

I felt like I live my life. I live my life and I want in my life that I got my like night banana college you doing okay you back at work back to work after my husband, you engage the church how you want to belabor and help of the father started hauling outstanding motion as well start now you know you building a life now independent of all that you're doing things in a fun you have a good time with things are you what what activities do you like to do. Diane, where are they what I can. Day one cancer which is nightly working on the way can doing thing that I have to day and attending church right now my daughter confessed to me after her father's dad that she had an opiate drug addiction.

Thanks.

I will wait had to deal with that.

Forget you know sent to Stanton right now she is a lie in a program getting help that she made that he had become born again.

Thank God he will be coming home time he got a life to rebuild at that point so well, why not have the blue-eyed spiny name doing next project and mission. What are you doing for yourself is your daughters going through the recovery program. What are you doing you develop, you can report the recovery program for yourself. You getting some counseling and all that to deal with, or you can just pray her through this lychees, you can have to do some work as well. Your rhizotomy what will it like until the last call of their recovery programs for people are in addiction issues with the family members, and so I would recommend starting with the counselor with yourself just just go get some counseling with this incident with the train licensed mental health counselor and look at going to a support group of some kind of opioid addiction, family members, and so forth like Al-Anon like some others and and that would because your daughters could go through all kinds of different stuff okay when you do this now with two family members. You had a husband there with addiction this you know you got a daughter with some really you got it. You gotta take a step back and realize Diane that this thing is affected you when it's affected you in ways that you may not even realize what I know it all in my mind even know it might listen its tail controlling my mind and my body and it will mind if you like a square cage that sometimes you feel like you just on on some kind of a hamster wheel is dressing that very thing in online a while ago but yes I was on that little whale and I would not bring academic at Colorado around and around on that wheel and I was so tired and weary of that IT would Diane slow down you still on the wheel well, you're right, you still in the wheel with no window help walk you back a little bit she could slow down just slow down because if you don't take time for stillness.

You have to make time for illness and that you have not yelled like that. Now that's break that's pretty profound and I just said I cannot actually write down on the couch. What you would you slow down any vocabulary to speak and really really fast. The reason no no don't apologize you never apologize for it.

You just we just got this. Just do it out of a cup of coffee here okay that matter, that there are tens of thousands of people listing Diane is just you and me and went, but with incident handcuffing Ritalin how to speak slower, we can learn how to how to calm ourselves down right now your mouth is racing faster than your spirit is and will try to get this tingling thing the right window. No, it's okay.

Don't apologize for the don't don't don't don't know more about all that lets you slow down� Brief and that will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on the you know that Scripture don't trout.

I don't know where or how can I get I can't make it without a need not only how I understand, but you every time you start to talk to you know you realize you go through this long litany of things here. I want you just slow down just slow down this okay and because sometimes we would go so fast because when we slow down the grief comes in such waves that we will break down will start crying and that we don't know how to deal with it. It's what I'll let you know that this is a place where you can just slow down you can just relax you ever get on iTunes or Amazon whenever I got a CD called songs for the caregiver and I didn't specifically for caregivers that you can go out and in downloaded and and it's just it's coming to play the piano, gracious things about half the sovereign grace is a new kitten singer and I guess I do all right on the piano and but it's something that you'll find this very calling to you because I think right now to the most thing you it sounds like you your meeting right now is that just a place of calmness because you're so tort and and and and every time you start speak you just go down this long, wordy things here and you're speaking so fast and I know this because your mouth is engage more than your spirit is and that there's nothing be ashamed about that. That's part of that's how we know were caregivers is what we do things like that and so let's back you up a little bit but slow you down and let you be at peace, and the tears will come. Diane but were looking to do it in a way that you the stuff and overwhelm you.

Okay problem pay on a plan to stop crying. My heart was so broken� I'm just going to die that I cried. I learned to tell those people that I will cry, and finished crying when you did.

That's a stupid question for them to ask stop breathing all of creation is groaning right now waiting for Jesus to come back and make this right.

That's a stupid question for people that when he got stuck right after your son does and that's it. You can't fix that, stupid. You know that there is no pill for that people people as that, stupid question you stop crying when you get the presence of Jesus in eternity.

In the meantime were all going to be groaning as is the Holy Spirit groans sharing in his sufferings recommends this broken world is what it is.

We agree that we don't agree with those who have no hope. Okay listen.

I would've about a jump really quickly here to see if I can squeeze in one more call here but Diane listened to the show going all right.

You are right.

Thank you for your are you doing right like you for being a part of what were doing and God bless you and I want to jump real quick thank you all right Eric and Minnesota. We only got like a minute and I'm so sorry I don't mean to shortchange at all. But tell me what's going on with welders measure things will tell Karen a little inspiration when you talk with Bill about some things and reminded me of my alcoholic father growing up. I took care of them for 33 years of group or Agent Orange got my woke up when I was 10 years old and he couldn't walk well through life. I've been through two marriages along the way. My third marriage, I have become the very thing he was the alcoholic now through certain series of fence.

I put on days over and going to AA go to celebrate recovery at cornerstone church. I talk with my church counselor and I'm getting help these things and stuff like that. So thank you Lord that's left the stubborn boy in the face and work my way back to my wife just wanted books. I do, but I didn't really get to make this let's make a quick hour but I do have something to say first off, good job. Congratulations, you are on the way now.

The second thing is ask your wife would she be willing to consider some type of recovery program for herself because she's in your order and this sort of thing has a way of affecting everybody around so look at your family and say look, I got a problem getting help from a problem, but I know that I've affected you will imploring you to look at a recovery program for yourself and get counseling to learn to deal with my illness and how it's affected this family because I want us all be helping together okay. Would you do that all right. I listen we got a jump.

This is hope for the caregiver go see hope for the caregiver.com. If you want more information, were glad you're with us. Thank you so much. We'll see you next week