Hope for the Caregiver "Resentment"

Love American family radio, this is hope for the caregiver. I have been to Rosenberger. We are so glad you are with this. This is the nation's largest show for the family caregiver more than 65 million people every day but themselves between vulnerable of what it even worse disaster. Highly hopeless.

What is it look like why do we need to do that with the show is all about. And if you're one of those individuals in the right place. This is your show. This is love.

You can be a part of the show. 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 if you want to be a part of the show if you just now joining in your same really show for caregivers. Yeah show for caregivers and were leading the charge here on strengthening, assisting, equipping, helping detangling the heart of that individual who was pushing the wheelchair who is staying up late every night doing laundry is in the corner of the hospital room who is going back and forth doctors offices who is back and forth to hospice taking time off of work doing all the things that caregivers do and we are committed to strengthening that person because we think they are at risk individual. In fact were certain of it.

And if the family caregiver goes down who was helping Loveland at that point.

If the family caregiver goes down. What happens to the whole unit of those individuals who are struggling with all kinds of issues. Special needs children so forth that we've also included those who are dealing with addiction issues.

Alcoholism because that is a chronic impairment. And there's always somebody that orbit who is caught up in that person's impairment. If you do if they're not in a good place than what happens to the Loveland again this is not something that is real complicated, but for some reason it just goes overlooked.

So what were trying to do is it what doctrine do we are doing this we are providing a path to family caregivers where they can catch their breath taken me and develop some some better strategies to live today. Right now, not 10 years from now, not 10 days from now, but right now where they can be healthier, and dare I say it even more joyful while caring for someone who is dealing with harsh realities again at 888-589-8840 if you want to be a part of the show and we'd love to have you to do that also.

One of startle for the Scripture to talk about our topic today because I used to trust over some kind of topic that will connect with the caregiver white male, but also want to give a shout out to a friend of mine and and his wife were longtime listeners of the station in the show we've been on that. We been on American family radio since July and they been loyal listeners, but Tommy is out driving a truck somewhere in Idaho and Betsy coordinates all that from Tennessee and there's a reason I'm singling them out because I learned a lasting lesson from them what I was a young teenager, my best friend and I Jamie used to work for them coming.

His family had a big dairy farm. At the time and a lot of livestock and they had a a barn where a lot of pigs were kept and we had to Jamie and I had to show up in cleanout that barn where pigs were kept. Now I want you to wrap your mind around what a barn where pigs are kept is going to be filled with but it been there a long long time of the pigs been long gone, but they wanted to use the barn for something else now we had to clean the barn at the bar and had a concrete floor but we couldn't see the concrete floor now want you to imagine why we couldn't see the concrete floor. What was on the concrete floor that had been dried and caked on for a long time and so we had all kinds of tools that Tommy provided to us in here Jamie at our 14 years old and were out there trying to scrape off this floor and then also Tommy brings us his high-pressure hose but it was one of them.

It was huge hose and like a fire hose kind of thing but with a very tight nozzle on it. We had a pressure wash this floor off well it it bit the end of the day, Jamie, that would where we look a lot like what the flock would look like before we started that stuff didn't come off without a lot of work, a lot of scraping a lot of of high-pressure that that water hose and it but we got it off.

We got a floor clean and it was it was pristine and Tommy gave us about a boy and Betsy gave us a sandwich. Life lesson I learned from that is that we have a lot of stuff caked on our hearts. We have a lot of stuff that we carry on us and it gets just solidified and calcified on our hearts, that it's not to come off without a lot of work without a lot of pressure and that sometimes what suffering does its is that if I can't if we allow it. It can be an incredibly teachable moment for us and that brings us to Scripture, they will redo you were off me with the Scripture, but one particular give you this one first Corinthians 13 and I think most of us are familiar with this if I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have prophetic powers and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing if I give away all I have. If I delivered my body to be burned, but have not love, I have gained nothing. Love is patient and kind. Love does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrong doings, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. That word resentful is what I wanted to target today.

Are you feeling resentful week. A lot of calls of folks who are really struggling with that enough. I want to give you permission to call if that's where you are, that were not to bang you over the head with but we we got have an honest conversation about 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 resentful feelings come when we feel obligated to do something and an offset for longtime caregivers. We get we get into this what I call the fog of caregivers fear obligation and guilt, and in that obligation. Phase we start saying things like I have to, I must I should be a need to. I'm supposed to. We feel obligated and then we turn into very resentful people and what I'm trying to walk caregivers back to is not feeling obligated, but understand because obligation implies that we own this only known on this. I can't fix this. You can't fix this. You know I didn't do this to my wife Sheila Carrick long before I met her. Her legs are gone. I cannot make them come back. Her pain is extensive from all these 80 surgeries plus that she said I can't undo that I don't own this. I cannot fix this and you can't fix your situation either with your loved one.

So what are we were stewards stewards God… Not me, but he's entrusted us with that as stewards that we can do it resentfully or we go to do it with the with a tender heart. This will talk about will come back 880-589-8840. This is hope for the caregiver. I am Peter Rosenberg of subletting with us will be right back. I dispute Rosenberg is nearer help somebody walk for the first time I've had that privilege many times through our organization. Standing with when my wife Gracie gave up both of her legs follow this horrible Rick that she had as a teenager and she try to save them for years and if it just wouldn't work out. And finally she relinquished him and thought wow this is that I'm not happy legs anymore. What can God do with that and then she had this vision for using prosthetic limbs as a means of sharing the gospel to put legs on her fellow amputees and that's what we been doing now since 2005 was standing with a woodwork in the West African country of Ghana and you can be a part of that through supplies through supporting team members through supporting the work that we're doing over there, you can designate a limb. There's all kinds of ways that you can be a part of giving the gift that keeps on walking and standing with.com would you take a moment to go out to standing with.com and see how you can give they go walking and leaping and praising God. You can be a part of that standing with.com and all about caregivers host by caregiver I should take care of someone who is not Jim who was that led Zach Williams or that is a lovely song I've never never heard that before.

That is illiterate. That is wonderful. Thank you for that. Hey 888-589-8840 if you want to be a part of the show. This is the nation's largest show for the family caregiver. We are committed and are out in front of leading the charge of speaking clarity the gospel with with with focus with precision right to that tangled mess this the caregivers heart and so many of them are filled with resentment and were going to address that throughout the show at the Exley pretty much every time I come on the air were going to go after those kinds of things, but only if you want to go out and see new article I have doubted American families blog American family Association's blog is called the stand if you go out to AFA.net right there at the front right on the front page there's a article that Everett called shining a light into into the darkness of the caregivers heart and it's and it's very just read it, read it because the caregivers heart to be filled with a lot of dark thoughts. I get this on the crash test dummy of caregivers and that's why I am so passionate about the show about this message. What were doing because of these individuals are not reached that it's a two-for-one deal. Whoever there taking care of and the caregiver and that caregiver deserves to know the power of the gospel in the midst of watching someone suffer or go through all kinds of difficult times that caregiver is is pushing themselves to extremes and they deserve to know that the incredible message of the gospel and I will talk about resentment this morning, resentment. Are you feeling resentful.

Are you struggling with this. I learned a lot of a pianist I been a pianist woman of the caregiver caregiver long to have started play the piano in us five years old and I ended up majoring in music and I love playing the piano, but did you know I discovered that I cannot play the piano with clinched fist can't do it and did you know that you can't push a wheelchair with clinched fist trot sometime not with your loved one in it, but you will go to get into wheelchair out somewhere and just try pushing it with the with the clinched fist. You can't do it and we have we have our hearts so in knots over some the stuff that we struggle with his caregivers with only way were to be able to make beautiful music is to open our hands.

I can't. I can't play if I'm all clinched up some got relax open my hand and let the music come out and we got open our hearts and deal with that as well. As caregivers because wouldn't but were not to do any good if we we are so bound in this is a said in the first segment. You know I remember when I was 14 years old and in my dear friends Tom and Betsy, who live with who elicited Bill regularly and and listens network regularly and the top and a life lesson when my best friend in 14 years old were cleaning out a big barn and that thing had just been out of how long they had pigs in that barn. The been gone for a long time, but everything was just calcified on that concrete floor and Jamie and I worked just brutally lease we thought it was at 14 years old. Cleaning this stuff out with a high-pressure hose and all kinds of tools and it was just it was it was it was a grueling job and I saw a visual of what it's like for our hearts.

When we are just cohort with resentment and how it just is. It takes so much work appeal that off and it it it takes at high-pressure hose that we had to just lash that stuff off and that's what God does was suffering. That's what God does with these painful things in our lives is uses that to bust up our hearts get that stuff off of us so that we could have a heart of flesh, not a heart of stone.

That's the gospel that we are caked with sin in resentment and anger in all those kinds of things that stuff gets exposed when were caring for someone there's nothing like taking care of somebody with impairment to expose the gunk that's caked on her heart. Are you willing to let God clean that off of you. Are you willing to let God go into that in all that stuff off of you because it will kill you if you don't that's what the show is all about is helping caregiver understand how that is affecting them.

Let's go to land in Arkansas Lynn good morning how you feeling well, we don't.

We mostly electric organ of bio if you will merely show 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 U with this look good morning, are Peter. That's Peter Clark, Fred, but everyone we have your thank you for you to get you to turn your radio down here tell me what's on your heart this morning. Kelly Herrmann waking you have adult yourself to anybody if you go to compare yourself years to realize so you know what is good.

If they failed God to be faithful in their situation that I will and to trust that he'll be faithful in mind to about them is that a fair comparison. Tell me what to tell me what you feel so resentful about that when we get a lot on what art can't have a gap outlining 900 years now financially and caregiver and Dominican man everywhere and bring the matter down for years now. I might rather my only brother doubt will let me just go out on a limb here and say that it hundred years old. He's probably not the change. You know to go ahead and just cut a spitball that would out there. He's not that a change but you and your husband can change and you're not responsible to make you happy you're responsible to do what the best that you can do with the best you can do is the best you can do Lynn and that the key is is you know he's not going to.

He's not going but it's probably much at all. However, you will have to make decisions on what is best for the unit not is not much just best for him what's best for Lynn and in the unit here because if the unit goes down, then what what what what what happens to him. I do yet, but it is their plan case, you and your husband something happens with you guys daughter and how it now. We have not when John Deere tractor with louder and I mean only God, not hard little world were all away from overall just like one phone: one step away from something having to assist caregivers if we don't have a plan for love ones, and if were spending all of our time try to make her love one happy then where were missing kind of the point here. The point is to make a sustainable and a viable unit as a family doing these kinds of things and not everybody's will get everything they want and your your dad is his mother's got a guys and he's going just have to be grumpy. He's going to have to you be whatever but but there's no need for you and your husband to put yourself into all kinds of turmoil just to appease. You can like boundaries and sleep okay.

That's what it's gotta be and up but but if you're resentful for the whole time. It doesn't do any good if he comes to be with you are not there.

It would be terrible for both of you for all of so what up.SSI he's cognitive the right is not, but is not going out and so so the main reason you want him there with you is is just for convenience of going back and forth their work married to Gary L and still alone and not do anything.

Will distillates know your lowly peers options what you want to do, let him let him gotta deal with that himself with these cognitive at all was said like he is to say, okay, I get your lowly here that here's a reality in here. Here's the options we have an end.

Take the burden off of you try to figure this out for him and let him make his own decisions with that when you're not getting resentful man list. We got to go to break the key is live for you to not live in resentment and bondage to what his webs are let him feel the weight of his own decisions and then somewhere come to a meeting of the minds.

This is hopefully caregiver IP Rosenberger 8885 8.80 840 will be right back to speed Rosenberger dear help somebody walk the first time I've had that privilege many times through our organization. Standing with when my wife Gracie gave up both of her legs follow this horrible Rick that she had as a teenager and she try to save them for years and if it just wouldn't work out.

And finally she relinquished him and thought wow this is that I'm not happy legs anymore. What can God do with that and then she had this vision for using prosthetic limbs as a means of sharing the gospel to put legs on her fellow amputees and that's what we been doing now since 2005 was standing with hope. We work in the West African country of Ghana and you can be a part of that through supplies through supporting team members through supporting the work that we're doing over there, you can designate a limb. There's all kinds of ways that you can be a part of giving the gift that keeps on walking and standing with.com would you take a moment ago understanding without.com and see how you can give they go walking and leaping and praising God. You could be a part of that@standingwith.com back and forth. It was about caregivers hosted by caregiver I bring three decades of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as you take care of someone who is not. 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 glad you with us. Caregivers can live a calm or healthier Dara save more joyful life even while dealing with harsh realities. We can do this. That is abundantly clear throughout Scripture I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. We can do this.

He came to give us peace come unto me all you are weary and heavy late and I will give you rest well it rest and sleep are two different things. Sleep is a state of body rest, a state of your heart. Can you rest in this or you so torqued up with resentment that it's killing me forgiveness. By the way, doesn't mean it doesn't matter that's not what forgiveness means me to go take our hands off of somebody else's throat. Because when we're resentful. That's what were doing and were going to learn to live peacefully with this is not easy. A lot of work but it is possible that it is doable.

And that's the standard that's how were going to do this. We do not have to be at odds with where God has us right now and if you are then you understand the, the agony of that been there done that got the T-shirt I I'm telling you it when you when you stop fighting with the Almighty about where he has you. Is this really your fights with your heart can slow down and you realize that you can see beauty and joy live more peacefully. No matter what's going on around you that the promise we have. But it's not to come just because you squint your eyes real hard when you pray it's going to come when you release this to God on a regular basis. It is not something is not a one and done, we are constantly coming back to this and there's nothing like suffering or watching someone suffering or caring for someone who suffering to expose all this and to keep squeezing it out and that's what we're here to talk about today on this summer. Go to Beth and Virginia whose caring for her son with a mental disorder.

Beth good morning-hi all how I feel that I feel it, I feel I'm pretty good good good. I tell was going on with a lot and I have never heard of this program, and knowledge with care for me to get that a lot that we get that a lot like wow that's me know and I heard you talk about. Are you caring for someone out of resentment or with resentment or tenderness in heart and you know I do both. Five.

It is really easy to be present falling and I have been acting mad at God. I know I hollered at God and then I asked forgiveness because I know I'm not been a believer all my life.

I know that Gothic doesn't come from God and so I guess that statement is resentment versus tenderness was huge for me not really stopping in my tracks will limit very clear. This is not something that old. This is something I am aspiring to and I have to be reminded of this. Just like everyone else.

The difference tween the show and maybe a lot as I have not achieve some level of superstardom as a caregiver. Are you kidding me. I mean if you could fail at it. I failed at it and regular do and if it if you need proof of the just asked my wife shall tell you that it but here's here's what I'm learning through it. Here's where the path this here's where safety is precious caregiver.

So when we get off but you know what I have to be reminded of the gospel with.

I have to be reminded by on a daily basis of how much God loves me and what the cross means in that regards. If I had to be reminded of the gospel, how much more so, do I have caregiver amnesia like I have gospel amnesia and so rightly that they are here to do was that's what we are to do on the show, you and me in an everyone else's listening is rooted in obeying these ideas around and build each other up and remind each other where safety is in safety is learning to let go of these painful things that are that are just burdening our hearts their their crippling us that we can't even breathe.

Sometimes I am only asked a question you don't feel free to disagree but other times when it just it's waste on you so happy you don't feel like you can breathe not breathing by angry. I'm pretty, very strong part and on like I feel like I'm being well I got going on now but I have to I will have a choice and I will keep going on because I love my son and will learn on but but the point is that we don't have to white knuckle it rhino because all that's going to do is tearing hearts of Vanessa Cambria been there times and just when did you just hang your head you think I don't know what to do a movie or just flummoxed and I and it just weighs on me, so heavy sometimes, and yet that's when Christ speaks with clarity into our situation, click the word come unto me all you who are weary and heavy late every feel weary and heavy like Beth. I know I had.

And yet what I tell myself that many learn to do a caregiver.

What does that mean when Christ is that to us.

What does that mean, come unto me all you are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. What does that look like in caregiver terms when you're take care of her son with a mental disorder and that's that's what we're here to do today. Just you don't just sit around and in conversation about these topics. So if I say that Scripture you when I say that to you. What does that speak to your heart knowing what you're dealing with on my parent care unit ready to help me get an ever present God in an ever present help in our time of need you now. I tell myself that and I know that's what we have to do we get back to encourage yourself daily delivered deliberate story, they were stories and scriptures. In that story when David and his men were all fighting a battle, they came back in the Amalekites and taken off all of their possessions. All of their families, their donkeys are everything livestock, everything in David's own men.rocks that they were going to start stoning and David. It said David encouraged himself in the Lord and right in the middle of that heat of the guesswork of stoning his own men and I thought okay that's the lesson for us as caregivers in the midst were not in danger. Big Stone but that's the lesson for us as caregivers is that in the midst of whatever we can encourage ourselves in the Lord and we can be encouraged by others, and we can encourage others in this and that's what were you and are doing right now we just haven't have a whole lot of people listening on American family radio, but that's what were doing with each other up.

Either people driving cars or trucks are sitting at their homes or at hospice there at the hospital there.

Coming off of the third shift and also there turning and just like you are to show for caregivers in nursing their hearing caregivers encouraging one another and said okay we can do that are out there were struggling. Yes, there is some with thankful for that. I am what I am too thankful that I have a show that I can listen to it.

I can hear people calling in just like you and saying to me. Hey, you know, here's where I am and always said I don't feel so alone with you. One of the things we deal with this caregivers is isolation, and in those that that's a bit if you get a chance please go out to AFA.net. The homepage of American family and look at that article I wrote called needed light into the dark thoughts of caregivers because to check that out. Read the article and share country seems out there because I want to I want to give language to this I want I want caregivers to know that we speak fluent caregiver here.

But guess what, Beth. I've learned to speak caregiver over 37 years of this, but it's our Savior's native tongue that somehow I knew our Savior is.

He didn't learn to speak caregiver. That's who he is and he's been caring for us with all kinds of disorders, mostly the big disorder of all and in that in that comforting though to know that we have a Savior who is not unaware of what we deal with and has been caring for his wounded pride for eternity, which is us where the wounded bride of Christ, we are messed up people going on and I'll you're right. He knows this, Beth. I'm so glad I'm so glad you're part of the show and I want you to feel free to call in anytime you want. Okay, I think your we have a support group every Saturday morning at seven central here on American family ready. It's just for us as caregivers. That is an exclusive group visited beta well I'm glad you're with us. Thank you so much for calling in and really appreciate it all right. Let's go to live and we had to live from Arkansas.

That's what got me confused with exiting Linz from Arkansas going to the show same tab.

Now that's got me a little bit offkilter there. So sorry about that later you with this and how you feel how fine I am actually not here getting right now where I care I care my mom for three year.

I got eaten up with three McCann no matter what I did and it went the wrong way dad branch of my family with offer.

My brother and they had similar outlook on how things began, you know. Mainly I need a cleaning lady and I went in my mother's Holman. It went real dirty or anything but air like you know very very perfectionistic and on the question they were perfectionistic but were they helping clean now. There you go that day that when I caregiver get 3F because the people (outside ties everything down now listen, you will break to go take a quick break right next don't go away.

Hang on, and I will talk about this a bit more.

This is hopefully caregiver 888-589-4888 589-8040.

This is the nation's number one show the family care with us you ever struggled to trust God when things happen to you.

I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became it. I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time, my questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs all — is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others standing without.com. I'm Gracie. I am standing without some and if you will hear the rest of it.

Go to stating without.com because that is my wife Gracie.

Her dear friend John Erickson taught singing through it all fun never had a problem I would not know the Jesus consultant that when those two women sitting that line 23 others disabled when those two witnessing. They have 85 years of suffering and disability between the two of Gracie has had now well over 80 surgeries and at least another 80 9000 smaller procedures, both legs if you did to Johnny's been in a wheelchair for 51 years with quadriplegia andin her second round of cancer.

Gracie lives with intractable pain all the time in their singing. Through it all I've learned to trust in Jesus, if you want to hear the rest of that goat that I do recommend it as a they've they've got a couple duets. They put out there to see all that it standing with hope.com and that is the of the ministry. Grace and I found it years ago.

We have to put two programs.

One is for gracious fellow amputees. We provide prosthetic limbs to them. We collect used prosthetic limbs from all over the country go to local prison in Tennessee with the inmates there volunteer to disassemble so we can recycle parts from ship all kinds of purchased and recycle products and everything else over to West Africa regularly and Ghana where they with a building, maintain limbs for their own people. We teach them how to do this and we been working with them since 2005. The other programs the family caregiver outreach for the wounded and those who care for them stating without.com would love for you to get involved to see all kinds of stuff out there, let's go back to live in Arkham so she dealt with resist. I love that you don't you you are doing all the work and your family was perfectionist that they were that much were perfectionistic chest. Critics I don't have a lot of patience for people who tell me how to be a better caregiver and do things better when they're not helping him put the shoulder to the wheel and I want to incur idle caregivers to go ahead and detach from people like that who sit in the sidelines of the cheap seats until he had to do it better slightly, try to tell you know Dabo Sweeney had a coach from the sidelines of the of death Valley Stadium in Clemson.

I just threw that in there because I'm originally from South Carolina and they just won the national championship. So I just threw that if they brought you clips and faith. You know, sitting in the cheap seats does not give you license to criticize people who are out on the field doing if you want to criticize somebody keep that to yourself and get on their put your shoulder to the wheel to help with lid up so you are a recipient of a lot of criticism but very little help her home and at heart and another from where I land actually moved out there for three years now, but what I mean.

I went To find and failing that when I get like that when I trying to get them to understand. I Got what they never looked at it from a different viewpoint other than Mary. I want right now trying to be so important to me well and they're not people in this is going to do it. Let me back up to listings that were never justified in feeling recent we self but were not present were not were never justified and I think that what we we had there certainly it's understandable why he felt that way. But when we write herself permission to feel resentful, then work were already down the path that we need to we need to stop the backup what we can do, however, is recognize that their toxic and week we can be justified in detaching from that and not engaging with that in the instance because we recognize that is a bad place wheat we don't need to go down that road when we start justifying ourselves and feel resentful and tried to always it and in it when you try to explain this to people. It's like trying to buy rid of the hardware store. You know that's not to get it. And so what you what you do would you just back up and you put some distance between you and them. If you can't put distance physically. George Burns used to say. Happiness is a warm and loving family separated by two states, and to which a horse that was conflict but if you can't put physical distance and you need to put some emotional distance and some conversational distance.

You just don't need to engage in no is a complete sentence. By the way well with her with her all the time they holiday together, etc. I really didn't have any power over them coming over. They came when they wanted care back on and led when I said I would get the fiber theory I let it when I said I would eat an applet that I would wake up in the middle of the night she with terminal so I went out with lifting her blacking out that consciously and I would start thinking about it and it looked like a big circle. I knew I should quit thinking about but I couldn't quit thinking about it I think about things they think about you now things they did and I tried to explain it counting on get Dan. It it without self-defeating in out willingly and help. How did it negatively affect their life much were you hear something here so that I learned that this is going to sound incredibly simplistic, and sometimes the most effective things are. But when my mind is turning into a squirrel cage and in racing like that and just eating me up or things such as that a friend of mine gave me a tip and he said go through the alphabet that gets a little hard with you and see that X the growth of the alphabet and think of one thing for each letter that you're grateful for and by the time you get it halfway through it, you'll find that you, your your your model start settling down because it's hard to feel resentful when you're spending so much time feeling grateful that then it I've told you I know it sounds simplistic in it.

You people say op… Stupid will have heard that many times about why Peter that's just a fish quite often, however, I can just say for me it's pretty effective because it is mighty hard to be hacked off when you're spending so much time and energy from your heart and your mind. Being grateful and start with a go all the way through and find things in your life that you're so grateful for a grateful for it.

When you do that, I promise you it will settle your heart out in your spot different now that doesn't mean you don't keep boundaries with people like that.

I'm a big fan of boundaries. Boundaries are good and we we have to protect our own hearts from the toxic behavior of others in their ways that we can do that and the word no is a complete sentence. And so we we separate ourselves, but we were lucky to get therefor so busy, torqued up with resentment and but but sounds like that that part of your life is over, but have you been how is the relationship with the rest your family know we don't have one. I mean it hard to keep a relationship with anyone longer. When I laughed my brother where and he's the only at the announcement direct relative but like I said it with. It can at Derek and etc. I'm weighted down you now connect anymore. He's older than me like eight years older than me and I anyway click on something real quick because I would get close to the top there here how's your relationship with yourself, with your own heart. While I don't think about it all the time anymore, and I even start you I say don't dwell on that and then I also want to turn it into something good.

As far as helping someone out there. Whatever I called the library to see if they had your black and they didn't affect that person night hockey that will look at purchasing that I'm a dead and now that with the landmine back and I would think Anyone on that radio here to purchase that for your church and so it would be available for any caregiver to read because it catches short little black and it fell helpful and then I haven't read help with a caregiver that you call your librarian request bucket.

They don't have it you can get it from an interlibrary loan why they may get purchase that indicate that that little landmine but that's so inexpensive that that they might do that like it will I wake I like will thank you for that. It's it it it is the simplest like a field manual for caregivers. That's all it all it did for just something carried your pocket with you to remind yourself that hey this thing is going off the rails here so I get back and it's easy to do that is that Lynn yeah it's it it is this they can go off the rails really quick for us as caregivers. It think that is one thing to have to do all the incident of taking care of somebody with it.

When you have family and friends will parachute it and give their opinion. It really can torque us and torqued her hearts pretty hard. Lynn I want you how much appreciate the call.

Feel free to call in you you you appreciate very much and and I'm glad that your working through these things and I'm sorry that you don't have the kind of relationship with the family members that you'd like but I'm glad you are looking at the person in the mirror and have relation with that person in a healthier way and that's a good thing. Hopefully, in turn, and something that I now I have a couple idea that anyway will that's good we have a Savior that is highly invested in reconciliation and redemption, and so I have great confidence that he who began a good work in us is faithful to complete the day of Christ Jesus. Listen we are out of time. Sadly, sorry about that. We are there's more extending with hope.com stating with hope.com. I have lots of resources out there.

Lots of things and put up their own blogs are so much would you go take a look and today is a great day to start being healthcare healthy caregivers make better cared. Listen, thank you for joining us will see you next week stay with hope.com