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Carlen Maddux: A Path Revealed

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Cross Radio
April 8, 2019 12:20 pm

Carlen Maddux: A Path Revealed

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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April 8, 2019 12:20 pm

On the day of her diagnosis, Carlen Maddux shared on HOPE FOR THE CAREGIVER that the world he and his wife enjoyed wasn't just turned upside down, "...it imploded." 

At only 50, Martha Maddux never dreamed alzheimer's disease would invade her very active and accomplished world. That doctor visit in 1997 changed everything and set Carlen's feet on a path of grief, heartbreak, discovery, faith, and healing. 

In a frank conversation framed by his decades as a journalist, Carlen offers insights to those who feel "dropped off in a foreign land and feeling desperate to find their way home."

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And thank you very much for that walkabout show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by caregiver. I do believe I'm feeling stronger. They have what you might you usually struggle because that's what the show was all about to strengthen the family caregiver and we'd love for you to just subscribe to your podcast get regular information to help you stay strong and healthy as you care for someone who is not. This is hope for the caregiver 800-688-9522 I just finished reading the book by Jim and Carmen Maddox and he is on the phone with is from of the St. Petersburg Tampa Bay area, a career journalist wonderful thinker and writer and he is a detailed manner, one that I'm not used to seeing talked about his journey as his caregiver for his wife with Alzheimer's and what this did for him for them for their family and his journey of of self-discovery of his faith of perseverance and it's the book is called a path revealed and he is with us today calling you on the phone. I am here.

Thank you for calling him and thank you for writing this book that this was not what I expected. Not what I expected. You get that a lot. Don't you yeah I was you that a lot of people send me their books that they want to come on the show and they talk about it and what happened is that they they can write the same clichéd kind of things and I'm not meaning to disparage them, but I've seen a lot of this and it's kind of a cathartic thing for them to write it out but you did something much different.

With this book and you want a much different direction. Alzheimer's story Alzheimer's contact focuses the spiritual audit that unfolded over seven years for.

We went through this very but will one of the things he grabbed me right off the bat at the beginning this book is that you refuse to capitalize the word Alzheimer's about the book, which I thought. Talk about about that that was fascinating. Well Dr. authority, but you put a man. The fact the hundred years ago and so hard packed with everything and I had did not mean to show respect him, but Alzheimer's itself is not the disease itself does not deserve to be Electronically meant a lot like David, I think that's illegal I don't capitalize diabetes and Gracie Gracie doesn't capitalize imputation so it is that I think that was a brilliant way you used to the lifetime as a journalist you you you published a very successful business report for many many years in the Tampa Bay. St. Pete area and before that you were an editor, a believable or what would you do before you start a job I start I am started the magazine in my home and that "$2000 with editor, publisher, chief bottle washer and start working when they yeah we rented 25+ years later wife was diagnosed pretty young like she's like 50 years old when this happened to Haemophilus very energetic.

She was very involved in politics. Bob activities she was diagnosed about families in 1997 September 23 and and I was fitted to our three children, two of them are in college and love are still at home in high school so yeah we were young.

If I'd heard about until we got the doctors noted marked impact the year before had one before her diagnosis. At one point open Florida state legislature and frankly lost that will affect primary about 20 votes. I'm glad that she did like that in hindsight, the you of nominal did you you you you talk about you. You had a safe going into this thing that you you really that it wasn't a huge part of your life.

That all changed. It overtime… Today we got our world and turn upside down our world" of dollars and we got home and Martha not Clive and we didn't know what to see Mississauga system very much out of what about her and she looked at me for current. I do not want to tell anyone. I don't want, I don't want to tell our children will tell my brother so I don't tell our friends and there was one, one person that she was going to talk to the tyrant Presbyterian minister in St. Petersburg. His name like Harwell and she was willing to talk to him so I called lately and Lisa came and visited with us and after short breath.

I don't like to expect in their decision. I have a very good friend of the Kentucky who is with the sisters a little letter community, there, and she retreats record and she has the best gift of discernment that obscene anyone upset a lot of my members of church there while my friends regret one project to another and spent time with or not. I don't know what you get out of the meeting.

The Bishop whether I should expect it would be very important and so after like to laugh Martha not talked about it at Colchester Lane relief after the diagnosis was enough to Kentucky to visit with her weight. I will have time to get into all the work.

There, but it was a most meaningful kind of time and one-of-a-kind stated that she told me that Stan, Martha, not more. I understood she could do my water. Explore the difference between willfulness and welding to know what you thought about.

I have the magazine on their minds they might listen. Politics and a career sure Woelfel Beaux-Arts about that began to sort of establish and rail track with my life bounce back reportedly went down this road, but her parting words much ingrained in my mind now and this is what Switzerland told us she said your brain college at this time the trust that you belong to God and not yourselves and their love for God and between yourselves about very naïvely thought to myself, we should be up to do and that was just the beginning. I'm folding out this audit. You will set out on for seven years. They use the word audit more than I do. The one journey per our situation were journey for the displays lack Alzheimer's feels a little preplanned and a little too came audit for McCloskey sent from the you wake up one day in a foreign land you lost your heart and your confused and you want to get home to do anything to get home and going to work, try to get you literally went around the globe on this would mean that we had several mentors just live through the whole.

There was one minister and Australian Anglican minister get a healing ministry there and we became good friends after connected and I was you that was that was offered kind of thing for me to get connected around the healing ministry stop. I grew up not arguing Cookeville just to give value over and put them to my mind, Bob. What I've seen from quote faith.

Figures for the preacher to come through town and not on the sawdust trailer could've pent up and they did two things as far as I could tell they they put.

And to you and they entered your pockets in the middle and on down the road not far from us further easy for the sledgehammer and called upon the state liable Kentucky and so that was my experience but I found some book that got me looking at healing ministry in a different way and a mutual friend of ours, but be in touch with Hannah and Jim Glenn about it and that she sent me a set of escapes and compares called your healing is within you and primarily began began to have a fax and phone conversation with Jim and of one part after Martha had had a seizure and I never send message of the whole cannot go on popular person I'm I'm not getting, and AutoZone yada went with him and some other folks that were just short of amazing to me as I look back on the folks sort of arose out of nowhere. Seemingly overlooked, fire Odyssey.

I know that it's it's hard when he wants me to go into the seizures hard_wrap your mind around the whole healing ministry think is been there done that and and I have watched you and I love the way you approach us about you. You really approach this like an investigative journalist and but the thing that you investigated was not Alzheimer's.

The thing you're investigating it. It really turns out it's see if I get this right you investigating your own heart and you were seeing that you got your senior own heart in this tremendous need and how God's provision was there for you and for Martha and for your family in ways that you just did not expect and in ways it became deeply satisfying and meaningful to you and even to the point of deeply beautiful for your whole family. As I read this and of and in the little time I have left out his window to couple things you said here towards in one thing she said his odds are underneath. Every crisis is a serious dose of fear and resentment talk about that a bit on the water. Maybe talk about other people that are occurring there and have come to conclusion that with an ever coming proxies all crises are definitely physical but there's also embedded emotional and psychological and spiritual issues that written to be reckoned and dealt with wanted clear of the trail at all or just being overwhelmed with everything with everything, never got to do during the and you see another way, every crisis be it health, financial, family relationship carries a significant spiritual dimension. I don't think we often look at those things.

I don't think we see that the spirituality of our daily crisis that we we get ourselves all torqued up about it and you push back on that thought. It's a you know what you really need to look for God working in this and every crisis that you think that this coming your way and that that's not how you started all of it.

That's how you ended up with that is after the fact. After got reflected back on what was done for 17 years and doing well and then putting the book together. I will recognize even as I reflect back on our lives, leading up to the diagnosis just saw that there were issues that we just we just did not paying attention. Just stop out forgiving someone was a nice quote Christian thing to do whatever he could get around to it. I just didn't understand how that can have a direct impact on my health and well-being.

I didn't address this almost immediately and try to clear the and of that was part of the process of what Mike and I went through in terms of third going to the forgiveness process by going to several forgiveness processes yes not want to fill in the billing August. One minute I have lived here somebody right now is is getting that diagnosis somebody is in that place that you get rid in just 30 seconds. What which is what you say to them.

Right this moment of our site as not start beating yourself not give in to hear that you probably are feeling and I would find a good friend or a good mentor that you can talk to, maybe longer. Yeah, and you do need to bring someone close in the district and helped out with all this thought dealing with you. The book is called the path revealed: Maddox: Maddox duck, put it on the podcast on the website: thank you, and you have a struggle to trust God when things happen to you. I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became it.

I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time I questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs.

All of this is to point others to Christ.

The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others that standing without.com I'm Gracie and I am staining without a show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by caregiver IMP Rosenberger bring you three decades of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as care for someone who is not, and what you do is you get by with little help from your friends. Thank you for that count of muddy disco and let me just give out a Collins website again see a RLE in Maddox MADD UX.com if you want to get that book a path revealed. I recommended it is a very insightful read and it will challenge you and it is not what you expect.

I think it think that when people have gone through the kind of things that it did you go through, over and over lengthy period of time you start to get with the core issue is.

And a lot of times as caregivers, we think the core issues we just gotta get you to we gotta get out for this and we gotta make anything better get back to normal in time is his way of showing you what normal really is and and so is it is a good book.

It's it's a very good book and appreciate them being on here and I'll hope to have it back on again. I listen earlier in the show for our caregiver tip of the day. We talked about securing the weapons okay safety to get somebody in your orbit who is gotten a very difficult diagnosis that involves some type of impairment whether it's Alzheimer's. If he gets child with autism in the home. If you got addiction issues in the home.

Alcoholism, mental illness, severe depression any of those things then have the conversation about gun safety.

Let's make sure those weapons are secured.

I just got a fundamental accident that the father had the wrong ammo in the gun in the Sticking and he was an infant. They had got that taken care of it would've.

It would've hurting and it would've been a disaster situation so you have to jump into the situations and make sure that things are properly secured.

What will go after the keys will go after making sure that the stove was turned off but will we go after making sure that the guns are properly set safety. Do you know where they are and and that's just one of the things here on the shows we like to talk about here because we see that this is this is something that it's become so politically charged. People don't get anything done when I let it be politically charged regularly. Caregiver charged and that's our mission here on the show.

Also, I've got a bunch of supplies heading out to West Africa tomorrow going out to the clinic and Donna got a whole bunch of pylons for above the amputees of God, prosthetic feet, socks and blades for Saul's name it we got it in there and it's hitting over and we could use your help with the sort of things that we were also trying to raise a significant amount of money to about $8500 to buy a large container 55 gallon drum of resin of acrylic resin and the catalyst agent that goes with it to make these sockets.

We make brand-new sockets on site and this one drum will make about 350 links. It's expensive but it's expensive to ship but it makes a huge difference and we would welcome the help on this. 350 legs that people can walk it staining without.com stayed with Oprah's the preceding sponsor of the show you for Gracie's ads throughout the show.

What she started envision years ago when she give up her own legs and on this shipment, or some of her own feet, going on the she took some of them over there just recently and she she goes to a lot of prosthesis over the years been a patina for 28 years so she's gone through a few legs and she still needed her own feet.

This so Scripture says how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news intended to be flesh and blood fleet feet did have a been a part of that state without the two programmers are due for the wounded and those who care for them with the prosthetic limb outreach and then this show is the second outreach of reaching out to that family caregiver who is discouraged and frustrated and is thinking that this is this is just going all just circling the drain here and it's not. And I've watched God move through our journey on things that I thought how in the world can anything good come of this. And yet I look at feet people right now who were walking and leaping and praising God because of this, and I look at the if the folks that that is the caregivers that are engaged now with this getting strength to be able to go back into the some very difficult situations and continue on and getting healthier and stronger just like plague coming in getting stronger every day.

This is how we do it and if you go extending without.com you can be part of that we would welcome that today to help this written get this resin out the shipments up the show out and let's go out and straighten some of the folks right pay all of the silly little but hopefully caregiver and I'll have the podcast available. Subscribe to this free party letters, free blogs out there. Just just take advantage of it. Don't do this by yourself. Friends don't let friends caregiver loan.

Healthy caregivers make better caregivers to a great start. Hope for the caregiver.com will see next week