THE Radio Show for Family Caregivers 5/5/19

This is hopefully caregiver I am Peter Rosenberger and we are so glad that you're with us 800-688-9522.

If you would be a part of the show. This is the nation's number one show for the family caregiver.

Those individuals who volunteered to put themselves between vulnerable of what it even worse disaster.

And they do it day in and day out somebody who is dealing with you know a a a chronic impairment of some kind, talk an episodic coming usually stable function in that regard regard what is something that's short-term for you. Sprained ankle things like that but I'm, people have a chronic impairment and what does that look like, what is it look like to help those individuals. What is it look like to help somebody with Parkinson's. For example, for somebody with Alzheimer's and all these things are involved are affecting so many people 65 million people and they are they are struggling.

They are sometimes just going into dark depression, dark thoughts themselves, and we're either at their wits end there somebody different scenarios going on how to help these people and what does it look like I once was the vocabulary say to somebody like that and and the show is all about equipping and strengthening the family caregiver and and and building them up in a way that they can understand and help them get to a place of safety and we are thrilled that you're here with this and a part of the show. 800-688-9522 800-688-9522 if you want to be on the show and we have a lot of things going on. I do want to recognize a new station to it before I recognize something new let's talk about something old, something borrowed something blue that's the barren of the board assaulted the sound, the Earl of engineering. The man who is so cool smooth jazz listens to him. He is the count of muddy disco John Butler everyone Nashville and surrounding areas in everyone across this great nation enjoying this sounds of wing and caregiving.

Whatever sales of Butler and feel brand.

As always, I'm hanging there like arabesque okay we could have done all I need to focus ER you know metaphor idiom for the Udo's from his people. McJunkin yeah okay if that helps you listen came JJ CAM 1230 big talk station in Salt Lake City.

ERISA's her first day with the frogs morphology.

God bless you for your lack of judgment of no we are thrilled to be with you so like a brother lives just south of Salt Lake okay and I don't think anything do with the stay should be back at a pretty sure he did because if it be known.

He probably would've protested the side of the building for locked what you people thinking know it were thrilled to be out there. KJ JC and thank you, thank you for for taking value and what were doing and reaching family caregivers and in the show was is all about bringing folks that have a level of of strain in their life and and and struggles and we want to help them navigate to a place of safety when like their hearts at the end of the show. I know that I've been successful if your heart is a little bit lighter. I don't want you to feel beat up to 222. Fill in any way that that you're coming up short or reinforce any kind of negative things that you're already doing to yourself I want to help peel away some of that, so you can see that you're doing something extraordinary or helping an impaired individual doesn't come without cost doesn't come without scars doesn't come without brutal challenges, but it also comes with joy. It also comes with beauty and you can grow as a person in ways that you you probably would never expect to and you can do this you can live a healthier, and even more joyful life dealing with the challenges you're dealing with is not easy and you can't do it alone. That's what we do the show so that you know that you're not alone, that there are other people that are punching through this. You do not have to to cut your way with the machete through the jungles of Borneo.

On this one but that's a reference and I was keeping my whole body not that's that's a reference and up but but that's what it feels like sometimes a director your Boy Scout your Eagle Scout I am and when you went camping gear go camping over Western North Carolina area know but close enough. You know, in the end of it and in the Smokies and applications well in this but again this in smoke is okay.

Did you ever camp did you ever go backpacking with maps and compass versus trails absolutely yes it was called orienteering yes we did that growing up and it will point the rhododendron it was so thick we had to use whistles.

Oh it was. That's how thick it was. And because we don't get separated with it and out and we were using maps and compass in regard to it was kind of a challenge thing had to get a certain destination by the end of that evening that come stuff and I think the suite is for caregiver. Sometimes we need to use whistles.

It's it gets a little bit gnarly but be careful because whistles can sometimes mean terrible trouble and being along with other kids with special care whistles communicate crackerjack whistles.

But no, that's when he met a boxer But that's what it what it's like. The process caregivers is that that we have to we have to have a team approach to this because if you try to do this by yourself. You can get turned around and and you can't plot a course very easily by yourself.

You can do it.

I mean you know when you're out backpacking with the compass and map you can ball you can use treason on the cost of doing but it's so much more easier if you got another person with you and in this way it is with caregiving. It's it's hard enough. Don't try to do this alone.

Friends don't let friends caregiver loan so the body system.

Yes, that's true, use the buddy system.

It will be your buddy for this hour, a right onto everybody say 800-688-9522 if you want to be on so you can follow along on Facebook love it, hope for the and then also we put the show out on podcast little bit later annual BMC that ended hope everything to help the caregiver.com.

If you want to follow. Let's get right to our caregiver tip of the day. Caregiver tip of the day brought you by ERP of Tennessee earpiece of Tennessee ERP.org/TN take advantage of the resources they have. Think about it today. A ERP.org/TN so many resources out there available for caregiver specifically for caregivers.

I want to take advantage of those that you you we we as caregivers need to look for help wherever we can find it and would you do that today are triggered to the days of other odd tip well yes I know Chuck it's it's an odd tip and I'll tell you why because it's it's related to the culture we now live in some of the tips we do transcend the culture they are universal. They are indeed in the end they stand the test of time. This one is unique to our timeframe. Moving forward okay and that is watch the pictures you post of your loved one in public. Good call.

Watch the pictures. I'm a member of several online groups and I am amazed at the horrific pictures people post of aging parents in the throes of whatever they're dealing with. And I know these are closed groups, but it doesn't matter what you what you give that picture to Facebook.

Facebook owns and and if you don't believe the mass them, and this is all of the discussion of whether or not this is right or wrong aside the practical nature of this is that if you put anything on the Internet. Assume that it will be used against recordable yeah and and and so you know I grazing out the public quite a bit so there a lot of pictures of us okay and and and I control that I think as well as how it if you're out in public. There is no expectation of privacy right so that's you chart control what you can. But know this is the way that we we live in a free society so you you you takes about but there are pictures of Gracie that I'm not a post-course and and III want to protect her. In the pictures of me in a post.

Well, I mean nothing but the thing is is what I'm what I'm trying to great grab across to people that sometimes I think people lose sight of just what social media is and it would you post the same picture out on a billboard on the highway now because that's what you're doing and this is not to say that there's something no conspiratorial going on or anything like that were just trying to you we we got this this digital age merge, feeling our way through it, we we have really, we haven't really grown into the technology yeah yeah level maturity. This is only this is not a good idea. It's like we had said it. It's like if we dropped a fully functional printing press into biblical times. You know this is it's it's very strange and powerful. What we have here and we haven't figured out the ethics around. Yes. Will said and and I think that we we do ourselves a favor if we err on the side of conservatism on this of just being a little bit more discreet and and a lot of times people use social media to gain some type of affirmation itself. Substitution for things like social clubs or you know whatever and that's fine but we haven't figured out yet.

Like if you need affirmation. There are healthier places than social media and and you know what you can buy what you could call into the show and will it work in a firm is a caregiver without exposing your identity, probably crack some jokes and have a good time so we will not get exposure, identity, and that's the whole point of this is that we don't don't do this on Facebook or or twitter or anything else or Instagram and and really think through before you post a picture of of anything really nowadays because it is. It's the stuff gets out there and it's out there and and and it is the wild West online and so it's just a matter of being a little bit more prudent and also caregivers themselves tend to what I need to reach out somehow yeah but here's here's a thought it if you're processing these things don't process your pain and your angst and all that stuff in a public forum. Okay process. The pain privately share the process publicly but process. The pain privately say that seven times because it will but but that's that's something that we as caregivers can learn to do and do more in a healthy manner. Okay we don't need to share all our business out there on the Internet okay and and you certainly don't want exposure love one about okay we get it is tragic. Don't put those kind of pictures out there can just be very careful on what you do friends come and go but the Internet is for.

It is hey this is hope for the cure. This is the nation's number one show for the family caregiver will graduate with us 800-688-9522 800-688-9522 don't go I will be right back to the show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by a caregiver.

This is Peter Rosenberger. This is hope for the care.

This is the nation's number one show for the family caregiver.

We are thrilled to have you along with this welcome again. KJ JC out in Salt Lake. Thank you for being part of the show in this network now and just welcome. Thank you for caring about caregivers and what we can do to help the one we help the caregiver what what's in it. What was was the deliverable for this and it is when you when you help a caregiver. He actually helped to people. A lot of people in this world that are struggling with various afflictions with everyone of them have a caregiver in their orbits somewhere and if we don't help that individual. What happens to that person struggling and I look at all the people out there talking about things and and this this particular ailment. This particular affliction so forth. But they should, they usually fail to mention the family caregiver and this shows committed that because I understand the journey 33 years into it, live with my wife and I live with a tough reality 80+ surgeries both of her legs amputated multiple times minute not only just the empty then go back and re-amputate certain times on both legs and 9000 doctors of trigger 12 different hospital seven different insurance companies. I get the journey and and she lives with a significant amount of pain since 1983 since Reagan's first term so so we get this journey we did it extensively and also understand what it's like for the family to go to watch the singing and go through this kind of angst and torque and so what we want to do is help provide practical help and navigate caregivers away from that cliff where they can be hanging just really in great danger. Move the way to a place of safety and start developing healthy strategies for their life and that we cover everything from from physical stuff, fiscal stuff emotional things your professional things. Whatever we can do to help the family caregiver will pretty pretty one-sided and pretty focused so and you can always follow it. Hopefully caregiver.com. Let's get right to our today's senior moment. I don't know the the one and only George Jones.

Hey listen, today senior moment brought you by morning point senior living and memory care center, morning point.com POI NTE John. It is my so it is now.

Do you know what this means this time of year you you try to sell me a couple of weeks ago and you failed to know I did not point will not is note this time a year.

We got a lot of graduation. Yes we do. We have a lot of weddings coming up is a lot of family reunions coming up in July around July 4, and so forth a lot of picnics and in events that are coming up outdoor grilling. All the above yes and yet so many caregivers are isolated, they are just there that they're having to turn down. Don't say no anymore on these RSVPs.

If you're caregiver. I have a solution. Are you ready rhetorical question already on dad love you morning point morning point has a program they do you give them a call and you set up an appointment with the nurse and they will do an evaluation of your loved one with all the special needs that you have with that level. Whether it's meds with mobility impairments. Whatever it is. Dietary doesn't matter. And then once you are in their system.

You can call them up at a moments notice and for less than the price of most hotels per night.

You can take your loved one to a place that knows them is prepared for them is equipped to take care of them will feed and clothe, bathe, engage all those things that are not just sitting in a room they can engage. Have a great time with the have activities at whatever level they need to have it and you can do this for one night you could do it for weekend you can do it for a week. Do it for month whatever is necessary because now you have somebody who's going to have safety security. All the above, involved in caring for your love meals everything. Now think about what is going to cost to bring somebody your home to staff them all day long throughout the night.

24 seven. When you're gone and all the prep work you can do and make sure that is getting done right versus people that this is what they do all day long.

This is what they do in state-of-the-art facilities. These art rundown facilities are. These aren't, you know, some kind of Shady acres retirement home. These are engagement centers they give you that piece of mind that you can trust your loved one in a place no strings attached as one might to nights doesn't matter. So if you want to go to that commencement. If you want to go to that wedding if you want to go to that that family reunion. If you just want to get away for the weekend. How'd you like to have a partner like that that you can count on to take care of your loved one in a way that you wanted done that, you know they're going to be safe. That's morning point call this number ready. 615-482-8643 615-482-8643 Lori don't call you don't have to live in Tennessee you can have a loved one and one and one of the states they cover called 615-482-8643 friends don't let friends caregiver will don't do this by yourself.

Call friend 615-482-8643 dispute arose murder. This is hopefully caregiver will be right back show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. I am glad that you with us, you would be so 800-688-9522 800-688-9522 and also you follow along on Facebook love, hope for the and our twitter handle is hope. The number four caregiver you know it if you just run out of things to do plug-in just Google me, come out there. Google John out of his out there don't you know, I know because my mind, my name is John Butler there's a lot of us on buffer you're going to get a very good guitarist from Australia that's what you worry. I was wondering what your fine pianist from Nashville will thank you were out there. John R but but we want you to be a part of it. We don't want you to be so disjunctive caregiver suffer from three eyes you hear this a lot in the show strengthens the Devo to student. That's what you said would be so disjunctive or whatever. I'm being silly. You don't have to tell me twice to ignore you exactly like we digress. 800-688-9522 but note caregiver suffer from three eyes, we lose our independence become isolated and we lose our identity and that's what we do. The show was to speak to those three things, in particular the. The latter two I want I want to help caregivers understand when they're not alone, that they're not isolated, that they're not separated from everyone is feels like that it really does.

It's a working to take community to you. That's what we do the show. I want you to hear friendly voice who has been there, done that, got the scars and is is blazing the trail for others to be able to travel this a little bit smoother. I don't have of national radio show when I was doing the start now have given caregiver was 22 I have all this, but I've aggregated a lifetime of of of experiences to help things I've learned to help you and myself better navigate the future stuff that's coming down the path. I'm still doing this and on any given day.

My situation is not as dire as some and on any given day. My situations more dire than most graceless with a lot of stuff me in the machine she deals with a lot of real serious challenges that we've learned to navigate to the things we were not just over here just groaning and wine and all the time. My wife anybody knows or knows admin.

This is woman who loves life by the way John. I can give any details today but I will soon she's getting in studio next week before he laid on the track. She did come scratch vocal and she's doing this with the very very very cool artist. The two of them are doing to do it together all right on an limitation of that. I was watching her sing.

I don't think she's ever sound sound better. I mean it. She's just got this richness to us were she's really kind of found that place in her life or she sings and she owns what she sings about, and it's it's beautiful to watch and and you will debut the song on the show but I promise you we will that's the advantage of having your OSHA community is out and speak of, just a little programming note 1 of my favorite guess we've ever had on the show and I loved him as a comedian before I started doing the show.

Jeff Allen is coming back right and be at dinner this month.

These out on his tour right now that is just whole areas we discussed is just so funny and I want to start introducing more comedians and and people who but the people who are not working out their angst on stage but just are able to see the funny side of life in the midst of sometimes great sorrow in it and they are able to offer that lifeline of humor to others. I think that's really important for us as caregivers is that we we learn to lighten up a little bit that that's only grace you have been able to make it. We weave with pride enough tears, but do we laugh enough. I don't think so and so that's what one of things one doing the show and that brings me to a letter that I just received from a list or and and and I sought it really broke my heart and the show is this listeners opportunity just kind of listen that the they use this is that there is a time for just to decompress from from the stuff that the deal got it. The seven-year-old with special needs, but also this individual had a father that was disabled and had chronic pain for many many years and was on a good bit of pain killers and was sent to the store to pick up the prescription when when when she was 22 and the pharmacist said this not ready yet to be couple days so she went home empty handed and her father were so distraught that he ended up taking his life. Later that night, and it it was it was as you can imagine, just in a horrific event and the chronic pain that her father was dealing with. Plus the dependence on on painkillers took her father into some very dark places and as caregivers and and and and and the reason I share this not and I would be very careful not to expose anybody for this, but I want to say to that individual and out and I wrote them back, but also want to say to those who are in any way living with this kind of stuff right now and these kinds of events happen. I'm asking you for him to take a leap of faith that this is not on you. This is not on you.

You're dealing with forces that are way beyond your ability and if somebody makes this type of of decision I I'm a big if you please detach yourself from owning that because you didn't do it now. Here are some things that we can do. We can't guarantee results, but what we can do is we can commit ourselves to speaking life and hope into people's lives who are dealing with these kinds of things and maybe they're medically dependent, which is far different than being addicted, but it still has a lot of the same properties on an individual. Maybe there maybe they are in the deep place depression maybe you are as well and is can be very difficult for you to speak life and hope into someone else's situation.

If you're not if you don't have any yourself. You can't give what you don't have what you don't lean on and so I'm asking you to back away from this and and raise your hand and get some help for you. If you have somebody in your life was taking any type of behavior altering chemicals, whether under doctor's care or doing it illicitly. I don't care which one no matter what the reason is, or that the impetus is I'm asking you to get help for you to help you deal with this. Whether it's through a 12 step recovery program like Al-Anon and things such as that weather's going to counseling, please get help for you there. Lots of license mental health counselors know don't don't don't go to a life coach for this one. Okay God bless life coaches, but this is beyond their their their scope. You you really need a trained mental health professional that could be somebody. This is a licensed clinical social worker or mental health counselor or psychologist, psychiatrist, but somebody was license was really taken the time and something that's not fresh out of school and speaking from personal experience my disabled if the first one doesn't jive with you shop around this. It was not Dr. shopping like that. Yeah, this is just if this is you are free to get up and move around and and you.

There are lots of people out there that can help you and it may not be the right fit into may not be that the support to go to, may not be the right fit. At first, that you may have to try couple things don't fight with it trying to to force the issue, but glean what you can and then moved to the place that best suits your needs and and when I say that they don't need to be right out of the factory. You could have to have somebody with a little bit of experience on this, but not a little bit. A lot of it because I God love the ones coming right out of school there to be the ones in the future that that you and I have to get experience somewhere and if it happens to work out. It happens workout bites you take a look at some of the other little bit of age on little long in the tooth and for this and and and be be relentless in protecting yourself be relentless in and recognize and how important this is to you. If your dealer somebody has a mental illness.

Same thing see a lot of times caregivers make this mistake. We we think that if we can get someone to stop behaving in a way that makes us uncomfortable or that's causing his pain. They will be okay. The absence of pain is not necessarily healing and and it's going to take a long time to unravel certain things you can get here overnight and I could get out overnight and you become conditioned these things and so what I'm asking you to do is if you don't see it yourself.

Take the advice of someone who has been down some some dark roads and get some help get some help and and you know you may say what will are not abusing drugs or under doctor's care, and they're doing these things. My wife doesn't abuse drugs. Never has she took off a lot of she be the first day this and and that's that could take the patient and the caregiver down a dark path. The chemistry of your body does not care whether it's under a dock. Yeah, it doesn't matter and and we can debate the nature of addiction or substance dependency all day long, but we do know there are chemically things that happen after you take these things and at high doses for long periods of time in your body becomes dependent on whether or not a doctor has told you it's okay to drink six red bulls and see if your behavior changes well coming I'm being absurd yeah because I can, but Inc. about that if you if you drink a bunch of of red bull what's I going to do to your behavior well and now that's just that's just something you can just buy in the grocery store now and then tomorrow you're probably have to drink six and then seven and then you know who knows it doesn't work as well because the chemistry doesn't care whether it's legal or not or whether it's ethical or not.

It just does it to you. But how does that affect your behavior and then your relationships all right and you you I'm asking you please respect what this is doing to you. Respect the trauma that's being done to your own heart because the healthy you become, the better equipped you're going to be able to be to your loved one when the darkness overcomes them so much that they they are even at that at that cliff of making very, very dangerous decisions.

And I'm also asking you to to secure things in the home, make sure that firearms are secure. If you got an addiction, a medical dependency.

If you've got any type of behavior altering chemicals being introduced over long period of time like that or any premium short trip. Make sure that firearms are properly secured in the home.

If you don't know how to do it as somebody for some help to come over safety and secure the weapons write weekly talk about taking car keys away from folks.

But with the shotguns and for those of you who are out there right now that are pastors that are listing or church leadership of any kind and in somebody in your in your cognition has a substance abuse problem or addiction issue. Would you please ask that question of the firearm secured if there is a diagnosis of Alzheimer's or any kind of dementia which asked that question. If somebody's battling severe depression, which asked the question. You know it, why not. Let's let's let's practice safety here and and don't think for one moment that when the funeral comes then you'll be okay because even death doesn't stop the long-term impact of these things and you as a caregiver deserve to have a fighting chance at being healthier which it would you to take advantage of that. Go visit the 12 step recovery recovery program today. Call it look online. Thereafter, everywhere. If you're doing something with the drug market monitor Al-Anon or all those kinds of things are out there and their free. What if you got to lose hanging around a bunch of people struggling to wrap their minds around something they can control and and building each other up in that if you got to lose. Keep listening the show. I take varies as goofy as John and I are and we are we take very seriously the fact that we may be the only person in your life right now that is willing to speak specifically to that level of heartache and I take that very seriously. I know what it feels like to be floundering. I know in ways that I hope many of you never have to know that I'm asking you to please respect the trauma that's being done to your heart into your body and raise your hand and asked for help.

You do not have to go down, you do not have to be destroyed by this you don't.

There is a path to safety is not an easy path never is, but easy is not our goal here.

We don't were not looking for easy. We just don't crazy in what we do ourselves sometimes is crazy. We push ourselves to to reckless extremes is time to change plans here. Let's give you a fighting chance at safety for you. Being healthier not try to make anybody happy you're as happy as miserable as you choose me, but I'm hoping I can point you to healthiness because health caregivers make better caregivers. This is hopefully this Peter Rosenberger 800-688-9522 800-688-9522 will be right back is assumed caregivers will wake up to the show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by carrier and produce about one crazy count of muddy disco John Butler everyone and shall be lovingly knowing that we are now dominant over 800-688-9522 shows brought you by staying with her, but got an email from Nigeria John Guillot emails from Nigerians.

Yes I do.

As a matter like this but this is not a scale this is a thank you note. That has to be he's not a princess looking to offload somebody downright of things to get those back that's our routing number know this is if it was that was Joseph and we put leg on and and through our ministry.

Standing with hope, which is pursuing sponsor of the show and he's walking in Italy we we treated him over the years, but his leg broke and he has to come only from a jury to be treated, which is good. When he heard that it know it didn't hurt but it frustrated me. He has to go to Accra Ghana which is where we hub out of we work with the government of Ghana and we teach and equip local workers there to build limbs for their own people and then we recycle parts from prosthetic limbs come from all of the country to local prison in Nashville where inmates volunteer to disassemble them is run by core civic core civic.com is one of the many faith-based programs. They have and the these inmates volunteer to do this and they take these legs apart to come in from all over and we were used to foot the need to pile on the socket that prosthetic socks.

The liner's sleeves.

If they're in good shape belt systems whatever whatever can be recycle.

We will then will purchase new material shipped all over Africa and the workers or the local clinic will treat these patients that we sent teams over there periodically and were in constant contact with these individuals and and I got beautiful thank you note from Joseph, thank you sir for helping me walk again. Everyone give the gift that keeps on walking. Well, today is your day about what you got standing with hope.com and and be a part of that you know this is what you're helping do in your advancing not only their mobility but their heart because were sharing the gospel with and they go walking and leaping and praising God would like to be part of that.

It's an extraordinary ministry born from extraordinary vision of Gracie. After after she give up both of her legs and is a double amputee. She had this vision of being able to share the gospel to share the hope of Christ your fellow amputees in a unique and profound way and she does and we been doing it since 2005, and we invite you to help us do it. Help us do it more and and or response of the show be a part of what were doing here and were all about for the wounded and those who care for them and you see more about that standing with hope.com that standing with hope.com go on. Take a look at it. Standing with hope.com and be a part today of something extraordinary to squeeze in a call here from Trinity and Carolina South Carolina Trinity how you feeling pretty good today. Well that's good to know I'm not caregiver. I just wanted to look at your show and I just want to make sure that your listeners hamper their mother next Sunday on Mother's Day their mother to caregiver notes for the meal they can bring in mom mom if the patient make sure that you remember her being forgotten on Mother's Day. Will said. And you know what and for those whose mothers and thank you for that. Thank you for month and those whose mothers have gone on you know you could still honor and and and one of the ways you can honor is if it ended poorly and there were some hard feelings there because of you are serving as a caregiver. In the end it got kind of spicy letting go and and just just released that and and and honor the beautiful individual they were in their heart before whatever took them over and in transform them something that might was difficult to deal with and you can honor the financial disease so you got children at work I have for and what are they, were they planning to do for you. You get the ideas out. Hopefully leave me alone said like a true parents give you the remote holiday and wish you the best of luck listed. They forgot happy Mother's Day in advance to you and thank you call and I will do that as well and listen. This is hopefully to hopefully caregiver.com. Take a take a look at taken some steps for yourself.

Go out there. I put it out there for you. There's so many different resources you can take it manage of the podcast is free. The blog all the stuff I write it, say it with video we do it all, music. It's all out there today is a great day for you to take advantage of that and start your path toward being healthier caregiver health caregivers make better caregivers still together hope for the duck, Peter Rosenberger seen