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July 20, 2019 1:07 pm
A show FOR caregivers.
ABOUT caregivers.Â
HOSTED by a caregiver.
With millions putting themselves between a vulnerable loved one and even worse disaster, the family caregiver continues to be an "at risk" individual. Not just physically and emotionally, but financial risk looms for caregivers, as well.Â
It's not enough to say,"take care of yourself."Â Caregivers need require regular, specific, and clear reminders of what HOPE for the caregiver looks like.Â
Peter Rosenberger brings 33 years of experience as a caregiver through a medical nightmare that includes 80 surgeries, multiple amputations, and nearly $11 million in medical costs. Hope for the Caregiver is the nation's #1 show for family caregivers and is committed to strengthening those who care for the weakest among us.Â
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Caregiver this is Peter Rosenberger. This is the nation's number one show lab or live on American family radio 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 if you want to be a part of the show will be to call them whatever's on your heart.
Whatever's on your mind this is a show for caregivers and what were doing is reaching out to those who are putting themselves between vulnerable of what it even worse disaster. Maybe your taking care of somebody who is aging. Maybe it somebody who is dealing with the trauma. Maybe it's somebody who has specialist child or somebody who is involved with addiction issues. That's a chronic impairment and if you're in relationship with somebody who has addiction, alcoholism and drug addiction. Whatever just what your functioning as a caregiver, you may not think of it as such.
But your and this show is for you and it's for you to be able to have some place to be able to to bang around ideas with other folks who are struggling in their own journey as a caregiver, you were not to get this right every time, but what were going to do is were going to encourage each other strengthen each other so we can stay healthier along the journey. So the goal is not to feel better. Okay, you never to feel better about this. My wife said 80 surgeries, both legs a bit dated.
She stuck her feel better, but it can feel better, but okay. But we can be better. We can be better in it. We could be stronger, we can be healthier.
I can't fight imputation in chronic pain, but I can fight, high cholesterol, weight gain, I can fight being a jerk and so can you see these things that we have control over us caregivers. I think a lot of times this is embarrassing but you know, why should I stop now of embarrassed myself for years. When I member one time we have been back and forth to the hospital back and forth doctor's office and it was just and we had two small children and and I and we got home from the hospital and in grace to sit in her wheelchair and she was she was feeling very insecure and and she's going to be helpful and she felt bad she was. It was just one of those kind of days and I she said can I help you with dinner will our kitchen was not really set up to have a lot of people in a particular one in a wheelchair, but I was just being a jerk that day and I remember just slim in the cabinet door and I said no, I'll do it. I have to be in control of something that yeah that's embarrassing okay I get it. The reason I share that on the show is is because you want this. This is what happens to us as caregivers, we feel like we got a be in control of something. What we are in control of something were in control of her own thoughts, words and deeds but were not in control of our loved ones issues. I cannot control what happens to my wife medically.
I can't do, and you can either you can't control Alzheimer's. You can't control down syndrome or autism or Parkinson's or anybody's addiction. You can control those things as long as you keep trying to do it you're going to end up doing more than slim the kitchen cabinet door you know and and but by the way I've done more than that to me and I am the crash test dummies of caregivers. If you can fail at it. I have failed it and I have forgotten more mistakes than most of you don't ever have to make and I get that.
So what I'm hoping that you do is learn from this time it and have a time that you can, you know, listen to other people try to wrap their minds around something like this so that she was a caregiver can be in a healthier place.
Healthy caregivers make better caregivers.
It's that simple. And if you're not in a healthy place as a family caregiver you think about this think what your aging parents think what your special-needs child. Think about your spouse's deal with such and such.
Whatever fill in the blank of whoever you're standing between them and worse disaster for and think about okay you know what's the plan. If you go down what's the plan.
If you're not in a good place physically, fiscally, I mean if you're up if your checkbook is just a disaster area. What's the point if you're not a good place spiritually who you listening to that. I want you really think with me on this because the world is offering increasingly more destruction and death and and despair that pretty much all the world is just if it is a cause you pain, get rid of it by Katie exhibit number eight. The governor of Virginia, you know, are you going to listen to people like that. If you're such a parent of a special needs child and and that child is is acting in such a way that is your being pushed to the breaking point, and you can listen to the governor of Virginia. You know this is happening around you people are hearing what's going on in our pop culture and our society.
All these things are saying you know if I don't want it I just get rid of it. Don't think it's not happening because it is just last year about this time last year, 28-year-old woman or she's in her 20s shot and killed her special-needs child then turned the gun on herself, but she was unsuccessful at taking her own life a little more than a year ago in Tennessee. The father beat his nonverbal child with autism to death while the mother watch.
It was five that he told the community kid read often are boys out there looking for the kid don't think it's not happening because it is and then you got aging individuals who are taking care of themselves.
A spouse taking care of a spouse and then all of a sudden something just snaps and then the spouse is usually a man at this point will turn the gun on his wife, and then kill himself. This just happened to one of the owners of the Minnesota Vikings. They had all the money they had plenty of money been married 60 years but evidently something just happened, and he took her life and then took his own. So for not speaking a life into the situations what's the alternative for folks where they got a go. What are they going to do. Who are they going to listen to. Who are you listening to and so one of the things were doing on the show is were committed to going out and just getting right into the nitty-gritty of this thing with caregivers. We want to make sure that you have some path to safety where you know that you can okay if I could just get here I could catch my breath fermented and you can't you can when I resolve these things, you know to make my wife's legs grow back.
I'm not to fix your situation. But what I can do is point you to a place of safety based on years of expressive and was 33 years it still going on and I've had people intersect me over the years and and help me navigate the place.
But what I've done is I've aggregated all of that into one condensed message for you as a family caregiver and it all stems from the light of the gospel that I want you here sometime and get right to my wife is a lot of scars. Her body was busted up in this Richie had 83 years.
Back in 1983, 83 years emotional beat me for that one and she she has so many scholars, but her scars are temporary.
You need to hear that her scars are temporary, but our Savior, scars are not so one day one day all this is going to be made new for her. She's never have this anymore, but the scars in his hands and his feet, his feet.
Those are eternal and they have eternal they have life-changing significance for you and that is why we have focused caregivers is not the story. 888-589-8840 888-589-8840. This is hope. Hopefully caregiver.com. The book is hope for the care website you to check the shuttle.
It's all there is that conviction that you can live a calmer, healthier and more joyful life while dealing with harsh reality. Talk more about 888-589-8840 will have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time I questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison.
We also recycle parts from donated lambs.
All of death is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others@thatstandingwithout.com. I'm Gracie. I am staining so for caregivers about caregivers hosted by caregiver. This is hope to have you with us to be able to connect you as a caregiver with three eyes that every caregiver deals with is the loss of independence, we lose our identity would become isolate okay and in that isolation, dark thoughts can overtake us or you do are you doing with those dark thoughts struggling and and it's it it they can come in a variety of ways and variety of issues and it's a and they can they can take us done some bad bad bad places.
I know been there done. I am the crash test dummies caregivers. If you can fail at it.
I feel it, but you don't have to. You can learn from those and it's that's I've always found it helpful to listen to a lot of people scars because you can avoid how they got theirs and that's that's kind of the point of what were doing here 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 if you want to be a part of the show are you struggling with this right now.
You cared for somebody that is onerous and nonresponsive to you, or responding in an abusive manner and in a way that is beating you down and it if that's what's going on in your life where you getting tanked up who you listening to what where you going to recalibrate your thinking no, and that's part of what we have to do is caregivers we have to recalibrate the way we think and we have to to change the way we look at a situation you you you realize that it like for example when giving example of Gracie doesn't have any any legs below the knee.
My wife if I cut my foot. Is it inappropriate for me to talk about my foot being cut and seek attention for my foot just because I don't want to say, they because she didn't have any feet, and it's kind of you know that the will whom I to complain about my cut foot when she doesn't have any feet of tea exactly who I am to talk about my cut foot on the guy that's got the feet that she's depending on so it's not only appropriate it's it's imperative that I deal with that the injury to my own foot so that I can better care for her and I'm not doing her any favors if if I'm simply allowing myself to go along with the festering problem that either you and so you're not responsible for what happened to your love what you can do this, you can't change. You can't cure it, you can't fix it. Here's a little test looked at at your hands.
Do you see male prints know well then this is not for you to fix what you are stewarded and you could be a good steward of this and all you have to do is keep reminding yourself of what your role is in this. If you do it out of obligation that it's only a matter of time before you start doing it with resentment. But if you're doing it was stewardship understanding that this is not yours to fix that you are doing the best that you can with it and you leave the results to God because God owns us, not you Gracie get hurt before I met her I didn't do this derived on my own stuff I've had make amends for a lot of things that cause a lot of pain and trauma my own self, but I can't fix amputation and and I can't fix chronic pain. I can't fix somebody with 200 breaks but that's not my job job is to care for her and the more you do this, the more you realize there are things in your life that are going to bubble to the surface that God will show you you deal with those things and you find out determine Monday and you realize women, I'm a little bit stronger. I'm a little bit healthier.
I'm getting better.
This a little wiser. I'm understanding things I can love and a deeper place until some of the other day as an interviewer I been a pianist since I was a kid. Major music and so forth. And I love the way you play the piano. I love the way I write a love things that talk about now.
I just hate how I got here and and but that's that's hoping I can appreciate things of beauty and appreciate things of value much more that I could before going to this and suffering can do this and watching somebody suffered can do this and and this is what the this is what the goal is of the show is to help you Walter that you not doing alone and not listening to to really dark thoughts that are come from, you know, the world basically do not offer you anything that's positive that's about things like take care yourself for whatever day that that's great, thank you for that basic information or to point you in the hope of the gospel. What is the gospel mean this wasn't me to be a Christian. This was me to trust Jesus.
This what is it mean when you're scared hand is being held by his starting was all let me and that's what we can talk about marketable to try to take a call. Here I know you have some trouble screen right now but I will try to take a call here and let's just go forward.
Good morning, how are you feeling good morning aunt Carol and Carol Carol thank you for: those are your goods was where are you, by the way I was going to cry about my calling three children for nine years Scripture that the Lord gave me general you at your are you a caregiver for these children know no have you been a caregiver. Well, okay, I know no no have you been acute. Have you been a caregiver somebody with a chronic impairment.
No okay with. That's what we do here. That's what were talk about is family members were taking care of somebody who is dealing with a chronic impairment or aging or disabled, or things such as that you you track it with and without but I sure do appreciate you calling about that because I think it's important you do that, it obviously you very committed in your work. There's a mother, but if it's okay with you about it.
Go ahead and focus on folks at been caring for impaired levels possess true that focus of what we do here but it means a lot that you call okay and and I do appreciate it very much and and that's what the show was for is is about individuals who are caring for chronically impaired love ones. Whether you dealing with something that is trauma related or or suffering anything of impairment. That's kind of where we go with this because that's the person we want to reach and as parents we all go through things as when taking care of children so forth Annette but those children are going to get older and they're going to get wiser. They're going to get stronger and healthier and be self-sufficient and some of the things overlap with the point of dealing with the chronic impairment is that you know it's not to get better. It's probably going to get worse and it's going to wait on you pretty heavily. It's a one of the things that we want to do is make sure that those individuals have have a time to be able to talk with her 668 hours in the week and this is the show for characters is one hour for caregiver so were to be very stingy and jealous with that time for the family caregiver because we don't want them to lose themselves in it. A lot of times caregivers will will just completely lose themselves in someone else's life in someone else's story is that loss of identity were talk about not prove it to you as to caregiver.
How are you doing and that they'll say well you know he is. He's had a bad night or she's not doing too well. Our situation is this over name it that that but they won't speak in first person singular and so that's one of the things that I do on the show was asking each caller and asked you as a list or how are you doing, how do you feel what's going on with you and you may stutter and stammer as you get the words out.
It may be difficult for you to get those words out, and that's okay. That's what this shows for because I want you learn to speak in your own voice and and I remember one time with my pastor has been used by the way, for those who watch on Facebook live and you're certainly welcome to string along Facebook love that hope for the care I'm out out in the little church in Montana now that we've moved to Montana and I got up this morning to do the show it under the show the house and the power was out about that.
What of this is not cool and that I wish we could look at what we can do here that I realize that the car was in the garage okay this is really not kill it had the power came on, but I made the decision for to come down here and do it in the Valley. And there is Montana and I decided to couple data very early in the morning and I saw that they were working on the parlance of made the right call but it was a kind of a oh when I go to do cut a moment here and but I'm a member years ago when I was playing in Nashville, Tennessee it at my church and and my pastor came and asked me to start playing as people coming into the service just created more you know, reverent atmosphere and and so forth and I did but I haven't accompanied Gracie for years.
Grace is no kitchen sink and wait to hear some the stuff that becoming a later in the summer she's going to do it with rust half that of the will be releasing her soon and done a couple with John Erickson, Todd, and then she's got her own records put together such as really great which couldn't come down the pike with her, but I bet she had I been doing music together for 30+ years and as I sit on the piano. I started playing hymns that I've known for a lifetime, but I wasn't playing the melody and and so as I was playing I was playing great cords it as we say Nashville great changes, but nobody knew what I was planning and I had to go back and teach myself for the mill because I was hearing Gracie's voice in my head I was playing around her voice.
That's what we do is caregivers. That's exactly what we do is caregivers so we have to learn how we have to learn how to go back and speak in our own voice. Are you having a hard time doing that is at hard with this the place to learn this to work this out. This is a chauffeur caregivers as you can see him I'm very specific on the 888-589-8840 888-589-8040 will get because you fix it. Thanks… Peter Rosenberg will be right back. Trust God when lousy things happen to you.
I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time the questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis.
We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs. All of death is to point others to Christ.
The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others@standingwithout.com. I'm Gracie and I am staining without live website hope for the cure.com the podcast there. Please subscribe to it. It is free, and we put out the show. We put all types of different things with that as well. The books are there. The book is hopefully and my newest book is seven caregiver landmines and how you can avoid them. These are easy books to read.
I wrote them specifically for a caregiver in the so you can take it to the hospital the doctors office. Whatever. And it's it's super simple. You can stick it to the seven caregiver limits you to put in your pocket or your purse.
Whatever and carry with you, just remind yourself of these landmines that we can all fall into give you talked about two of the date loss of identity and isolation and another one is thinking that it's all up to me and it's not it's not all up to you.
It's not all up to me and these are things that I want to help caregivers re-train their mind on how to think about this so that they can do the long haul because otherwise you got a bird out of the sling. I promise you will if you don't think you will you know give it time. I know people that have called up. Sometimes they'll say oh I'm just blessed to be doing this will they had done it long enough you know is when you say things like that. I will never I'll probably get some letters about that would so if you want to send a letter about that said to Peter at the Internet.google no I'm just kidding.
I must go the phones ear marks have a little bit of time screening them so were just coming how to go cold. These things here. Good morning this is Peter how are you feeling hello good morning how are you feeling very I can hear you. Okay your data table. I'm not doing very well this morning I caregiver I'm now hiring I'm I'm I had okay so you not granted when I went in on.
I would while I'm disabled myself and I was trying to God my husband watching him get weaker and with your every day.
He can barely rock kicking around a star someone even saying what you say some pop and lampshade it breaks out in a flat is tightlipped or like 70 may have leukemia.
He refuses to calculate Dr. oncologist. He doesn't want help.
He said if I want to sit here and die my right not.
I am disabled myself. I knocked myself out in the garage trying to pull a box because he can't even lift a bomb.
I knocked myself out. Don't know how long I went out and I screamed for 20 minutes he couldn't hear me sorry hearing a long call the doctor for that either. The government must back in LA I've had Holland hold on this backup just a little bit like a hole in Glen Potter backup Mark, I can't make him go to the doctor you write like Scott leukemia your right you can't. Looks we've lost the call there and we have will be the technical problems, let me just when is this scared you can't make you go to the doctor. You cannot make him go check out his hearing or anything see if he will sit there and I that's what he needs to do it.
That's what he wants to do and and that's what he feels like he needs to do. You can't stop that from happening. What you can do is go to your own doctor what you can do is do things that are safer for you what you can do are healthier things for you. And if you're going to be out the garage, lifting boxes and run the risk of knocking yourself out the need to have a better backup plan than him, and if you count on him for anything. It's only going to get worse and so what what your starting point here is not sit there focusing so much on him and what he's doing. As sad as that is.
He may not make it, but you have to and I'm sorry I am. I hurt with you. I think we all can hurt with you with you because we we we we know that that's got to be an incredibly frustrating heartbreaking thing to watch. But it's not good to make it any better. If your leg and the garage passed out because you're not being cared for either and so your starting point is to say, okay. He's evidently check it out, but I can't. And that's where I'm hoping that you can get to where you could start thinking through these things and realize okay.
I can't count on him. I can't cannot him to come for me and help me even if I'm screaming because he's hard of hearing and he will get it checked out so you don't put yourself in a position like that where you got to reach out and you keep your phone on you at all times. You have other people that you call that's how you do it and that's what's going to have to happen here. Let's go to good morning.
I don't have out barks have a little bit of technical difficulty screening call so were just goading cold this is Peter. Good morning. Who are you and how are you feeling Maryland hey Marilyn hi feeling sad home to take care of my mother in 2008, and she just went home to be the Lord, not she had Alzheimer's and I don't answer you happier. She was in the wonderful nursing facility, but I wanted to tell people that when there when their loved one. Even if you know during heaven. I live my life still feels like I got dressed. I think I need to get them something for mother and it's not not like my mom that need it anymore so it's hard to let go of that caregiving mentality will I'm going to have to trust you on that would and I believe you. By the way, I just I've never let go because I been doing it for 33 years, but I've got a theory and you're the perfect person help me see if my theory is right okay okay I think that there is an S element of PTSD that comes with being a caregiver and then when it's over that it's gonna take a long time to kind of detox.
That's not really the right word for but it's gonna take a long time to recalibrate your body your life your heart your brain and everything because you're so into that routine of doing stuff and you don't know what to do with free time. You don't know what to do to be still, and this is that does that sound right like she still here. You'll feel like you're still like all the millions of things you need to do is your your lovely wife is still at home with you in all the things that you would be doing what they're you still your mind is still in that mode yet think that that will not of it that way, but you and she's only been gone for just you know of weaker surveys yeah yeah and so I give yourself some time. I know Gibby gives us a dump. Let me ask you this, what are you are you are a good church situation and Lily Pastor Nino come to visit her in and and yes that's a really wonderful do they come to you yeah yeah okay yeah absolutely slow, Tubbs loves him.
So come visit the Fernwood, but they'll overlook the person standing in the corner trail and I'm glad no U Glenn here. I yeah I just I just wanted to mention to people that the era once your loved one is not here anymore.
It still is like the PTSD which I don't know yeah that analogy kinda stands stand in my life. You don't really know exactly what to do now know now that you know there are all kinds of things to deal with that need to be dealt with like you know just estate recovery.
If Medicaid can come take a lot of things legally financial stuff, let me ask you another question. Are you are you going to any kind of grief therapy or grief counseling or grief support group. No, no.
Would you have an event on would you be willing to share their programs out there around the country like grief share and all that kind of stuff that are the really good programs and it's not there to just sit just you to feel sorry for yourself it's thereto to be in in a group of people who can all work through the stink to get stronger it it's too much to cut a bear by yourself.
You know and and you don't don't just have to cut a greater share with the Latin Google it there so I don't know what where where are you, by the way, because when I don't have a lot of little rock I am I am 99.9% sure there grief share being done all through the Little Rock area need to progress.
Let Google and will out, it's… What and then there yet do that too much. My friend John is watching this and he's a big fan of that to so I'll just do a shout out to you. I because EEs want to put… Goes a lot. I like your style of that but what do do do explore that because I don't think it's one of those things where you can just kind of assume okay now that my mother is gone and I know she's with Jesus and all that. I'm just going to be fun because that's not your knuckle be fun. You've your body and your heart and your mind and your spirit. Everything else is been consumed with this and give it the respect it deserves. About bioprocessing that out as long as it takes. Don't don't beat her either melded at right away, wanted to call and let people know it. It just kind of linger. I needed it for mom I need to get nail polish in on just like all the things that you still there and it was a lot of it was a joy to have her for so long. She always knew I was. It was a joy to me that she was a joy. There and every day I would pray that she would find favor with everyone she met 11 this and she would. She was in a wheelchair because she would do or need therapy and not printed any rate, she would go around and tell everyone you're beautiful. I love you Taylor on and hang on to those hang onto those things.
As you will do your own grief on this thing on those moments. Okay and thank you and thank you for taking the time to call and share this and and feel free to call back. Just let us know how you doing awesome. You're quite welcome. Thank you.
All right, good morning this is Peter gear on the show and tell me your name and where you from morning my name is Homer and Oklahoma yes how you feel is Homer.
I'm looking out for you. I have been lost and my will.
Great to hear that Homer, we are up against the break here.
I got to go. I want to know if you want to hear from you again. Thank you for calling on that will be back in just a moment I dispute.
Rosenberger never helped somebody walk for the first time I've had that privilege many times through our organization. Standing with when my wife Gracie gave up both of her legs follow this horrible Rick that she had as a teenager and she tried to save them for years and if it just wouldn't work out. And finally she relinquished him and thought wow this is that I'm not happy legs anymore. What can God do with that and then she had this vision for use in prosthetic limbs as a means of sharing the gospel to put legs on her fellow amputees and that's what we been doing now since 2005 was standing with hope. We work in the West African country of Ghana and you can be a part of that through supplies through supporting team members through supporting the work that were doing over there. You could designate a limb. There's all kinds of ways that you can be a part of giving the gift that keeps on walking and standing with.com would you take a moment ago understanding without.com and see how you can give they go walking and leaping and praising God. You could be a part of that@standingwith.com here's Dr. Carl Truman from the American family Studios documentary, the God who speaks the church fathers view the Scriptures's divinely inspired. Often they were using all musical instrument subscription being written in the way saying, the right to the spirit. Certainly they regarded Scripture as authoritative varieties of apostolic fathers have been happy to quote Scripture consider that close down the tremendous self which implies that a very high view of its inspiration.
Visit the God who speaks.org but we would call Marcus told me her producer ears told me that when it will be a problem with the call screenings and what he will do is call put you on hold for the show and were doing the best we can know Trotta connect up with you before you come on the air and if so if you sing a little disjunction with that.
That's why no explanation Mark will get on it will have top men getting on this top men will start proposing to take it to get you also want to do, remind you if you want to be a part of the show in a different way and help us stay on the air and do the things that we do stay with hope. You just heard the spot for it, stay with opus presenting sponsor of the show and it's the minister grace that offended many many years ago when she give up her legs. She wanted to be able to provide quality prosthetic limbs to her fellow amputees started doing that 15 years ago in West Africa and we have an amazing program will take used prostheses and they go to local prison and in Tennessee and they will. The inmates will volunteer to recycle them strip down always symptoms of the screw level will take all the recyclable materials and send them over to West Africa along with purchase materials were due. And then we train and equip local workers how to build their own prostheses for their own people and it's been a great program for successful and then we launch the whole caregiver outreach so that the two programs we have are for the wounded and those who care for them. You could be part of that today it standing with.com and I would just encourage you go out there and look around see what we do. Why we do it.
Listen to what's going on. There's there's newsletters are podcasts all his things and and just summing things out there standing with hope.com all right, let's just go to call this is Peter. Good morning, how are you feeling tell you who you are where you from. I am indeed. I know we were having a little bit of call screening technical difficulties here so you're your own how I'm I'm kind North Carolina and I guess more. First, I'll come and help. Tell me your name and that how you feeling and and Mark tired and weary now and in my situation. I mean, I've been a caregiver might in light of my life. My mom had cancer and died when I was 28 and I father five years later and Dan my wonderful had been with PTSD and chronic pain and general problem with flash injury still functional but you try not to grow weary doing good and you hold on to pay and you know you're in a body and you Shabbat. I think the hardest thing that Christian I'm really afraid to hire that you feel bad that you feel angry because you get yourself about your not the particular Peter Christian and you don't have faith that you can't get more of a comment to share to let people know it okay to admit I don't think we allow ourselves back, but I think it's not only it's imperative. I think it's and it is critical to admit it. I mean, that's where you you list. Let's have real conversations here were nothing to try to dress it up with Christian knees and God talk other people calling to say how you doing oh I'm just blessed but I hate my mama you know that kinda stuff out and now I don't talk to God here. I think I and another note, depending on the moment day that all knowledge is pretty challenging when it long term and there is no end. You know something chronic in nature that never got to find the balance and I guess that's being honest and accepting. You know the comfort of friends and being able to be vulnerable I think is hyper thinking like you got a hold it all together and you can well that's one of the things that we address on the show a regular basis of sublets about that because I think we do feel like it's caregivers. It's all up to us. As for the landmines in the book 7 caregiver 11 months it's all up to me and it's not all up to me that's a llama that is a dangerous place to go to. That is when things start happening that will be bad for us and you've really done an extraordinary job of just eliminating that this morning and it is said it's work. It's sad. It's frustrating and it starts with the waiter to do work through. That is to start being honest with yourself and say it's sad it's work it's frustrating and it ends not necessarily go to get better. What do you do for you so I am going to counseling our church has agreed to share.
I have uninvolved and I have made Bible study, like eating much help and get a wired fight. I'll show my two sisters that I can call back cried you whenever you just really need Riel and find out. I checked them and I trust her counsel and LMI involved in my church on Sunday service and I'm just what you do for fun. I guess I will ride by my workout, you little camp and will North Carolina Pl. to do that. I grew up camping at North Carolina Western nuclear that's a great place to do that and her husband right now.
It is a city of your husband cannot work out a bike ride in capital that with you now and when and where start walking Christian aligned very, very functional and down when all of this helps.
That started kinda pop and back to carrying out a lot of the things that we share together are are gone.
So he's locked away from the light because she's hurt and angry so we don't share that we don't share the ability you exercise in the way we used to get together and then there's some job stuff that's gone on a changes that I think we share training.
Things are really don't go off Ken and Alex and function of organization and schedules and planning in August and that at functional conflict is in all parts of the lands is that if you live in on his attitude pretty lousy all the time you not sure what you get on a daily basis, preparing yourself why what's going to be today and you get good people around you that are cut. I hope you can recalibrate and deal with that you said so that you don't get cut and walk around and excels around him. That's good that's very good is that that's that's not a good way to live now and I guess like me, and everything with my dad. I guess let people know that there are things you can give you an where added. Not sure and that how your faith and your walk anywhere.
Trust in the Lord and being connected help you through the process because if it's not going to and long term barn trying to do what you can do for your own virtual mental and physical health and is all you can do a lot.
Not perfect, and while it's not always going to work out as well as you can plan that is still going to be out K even though it will do you ever envision yourself reach the point where you just feel like you need to work out anymore. I don't really care. I can't without knowing what file you are you do you ever think that there's a destination place where you said okay have worked out enough that I'm done now.
I don't ever have to do this again. I now now since it's the same thing with is the same thing would be to caregiver with big healthy caregiver with your Christian walk. There's not a a in place you were going to keep doing this until the day we go home and not to submit a caregiver, but having to recalibrate ourselves having to push ourselves how to take care of ourselves of the work out its work and working out his work your sweat and it's tiring and you you you you stretch muscles and in all those kinds of things it's work and the best not bad work, it's good work. Strength and resolve your strength and your chest and the lighter and even if you don't yet know what happens today had no future or posited any thoughts as well. As you know heavenly staff that I don't even understand well and I don't think any of the stupid and that's okay. That's what we trust, and if we knew all the answers I would need to trust but you know I since it begins soon I will say to you, I just want to hear your feedback. I say this regularly. The goal is not to feel better you not to feel better about the stuff with your husband. You know, with my wife. She certainly not to feel better about all the things she deals with the and neither my goal is to feel better not feel as cells like like you doing exactly that that you're being better. You're doing a great job you're doing a great job and you inspired me and a bunch of people listing this morning and I'm very grateful that you took the time to call it really means a lot.
It does this time were up against the clock here hope for the.com will put the podcasts out later and I'm so glad you with us. What hope for the care.com more information. This is the most