Helping caregivers doesn't mean reinventing the wheel.

Will go take a few calls fearless go with the Susan into the sea and Susan how you feeling what's going on when.

Highly retired and on our family line with a Chicago and his family lived in Milwaukee my father doing about three or four years ago at the age of 92 and he was the primary caregiver for my mom. My mom and years younger.

So now she's 89 and my plans.

I had two brothers twins. They were older one for the Jacuzzi younger one brother never married, so he's been at home taking care of my mom and dad and now my mom. She works full time.

My brother freelances as an architect need in our house. My workable time and she comes every day to my mom after work and we have a brother-in-law who is your caregiver during the day.

It is very convoluted, but that's what it is and I think there is a lot of resentment among one brother and understand that I don't understand it my own family here in Memphis with my daughters.

My husband will I take care of it in an amount care of possible. I want to support them but it's very difficult for hundreds of men and I understand that but I know what to do when you think will go to thoughts this. This is not uncommon but was we have the family you loose but the same tailed and everybody started out with for the family dice Bora and and so you you in one person usually ends up getting caught care of I will never married one review. Thoughtful lot believer, which is part of the problem may be. Maybe I know little believers get resentful to think like my that is not supportive of me all my mom held that there my other siblings are will instead of trying to help your mother.

How about helping your brother how well witnessing the this he need of groceries delivered to him or his interest.does he need somebody to do a lawn care service is a scatter. Okay, this is our urge gutters cleaned is because a lot of times if the caregiver is stressed-out guaranteed their home. Mistress dealt well it's not just the it's not just the house.

It's not just that it's it's the maintenance and so forth wears on you in and you do this long enough that it it will show third lots of different ways of many of you can make sure that that they have. You could also help pay for someone to come in and give them a break once a week you know is are some visitors. There's a service that you can use it and come in maybe just four hours a week on this Saturday much whatever. Though there are lots of different things you can use. You can you can. The higher lawn care service, you can hire don't don't just send José let me know if there's something I do think of a service that they use a lot or could you not is there car in pretty good shape on the tires how the tires on the car you know and you know a gift certificate to a tire shop you know but don't don't send the checks and serve think about every part of the caregivers life. Do they have a good CPA that handles their finances. If not connected with one and underwrite it is there. It was the last time he got he went to his own doctor and don't eat a lot of people say oh I love to be able to since it was on a cruise will I don't know but a lot of caregivers on that but that for me as a caregiver.

I would want somebody sent me on a cruise. I don't want to be around that many people that many, many people on a boat but but I do. I do have certain needs that I have Saba boat. Most caregivers were pretty high functioning multitaskers were very capable people and so it's hard for people to know what health looks like to us but but but if you start to break it down. We all drive cars will have homes that need things we all you know I have certain things that we have to have that require regular maintenance. I don't want people to cook for me.

For the most part of it always like a meal and some he brings it, but it's you don't want to get in that situation we relying on it. But I sure would you don't like not having to go to the grocery store all the time delivery.

There are plenty of companies out there that will do that kind of stuff, and any in a stock pantry is a wonderful thing you know and you know it at all Sunday. If you're not trying to take care your mother but you try to keep your brother you go to start speaking to love that resentment. Well that's that's why I have a radio show. Sometimes they were down and I just get what you know it would don't tell anybody in the room but HootSuite switch in with what we got this little things in and also let you know the resentment issue is a real thing.

Don't don't let that sneak up on you because in the family because it will tear the family apart and you don't want to see if you don't want to.

Yet when somebody when you're at your father right is not your mother to father that these take care of my mom that your mom okay well when your mom does pass away because from what I understand, the mortality rate in this country is still of the hundred percent and when she does pass away. Y'all don't want to be standing there at the grave at odds with each other with clinched fist. Also, you may not be able to get to your mother right now you can get to your brother and you can look for thoughtful ways to care for him.

You know him better than than your sister you got to know him well but look for thoughtful ways of what is what is heavy on his heart, and address those things in a very kind, caring way, don't make a big production about it.

Just do it you know if if if somebody came up that if you do it next time you see his car out of the hell do you see them but since she's carpet look at his tires and and and I don't know that if anybody ever bought me a new set of tires. I wouldn't even know what to say that that's incredible gift. You know any that yes it's expensive but at the same time you know it's thoughtful to say hey look I want you safe on the road and and you're doing a great job but I don't know what else I can do but I thought maybe I saw your tires last time. I thought maybe you could use a good set of tires you don't know. I don't know your brother but you know your brother, but look for ways that are meaningful to him that don't but but again don't make the production about it, do it because you love it because he sees think about what he's doing for your mother is not doing this so that your mother will say every day just gush over my how wonderful he is a student because he loves his mother.

And you do this because you love your brother and don't don't don't don't don't expect him to gush over it just love just just give and and and watch what happens you get it's it's a reflection of what's in you, not what you're getting from him and he still he may still be a little bit of a curmudgeon about I don't that's okay love him into none curmudgeon. This, if that's a word that's how we do it as believers you know Jesus did that for us while we were enemies with God. It's not like we were doing something that warranted what he did for us. He did it because he loved us first. And will again, I shall not you want to will show don't tell you know was that Augustine said would preach the gospel always, it is necessary use words basically are sequences of the sissy or somebody said that somebody important said that I don't know who said somebody said it and you don't that's what you do preach the gospel to them, and if necessary use words night house at selves is wonderful. Recommendation will thank you for listening and thank you for calling and it just means a lot that you're out there that you care about your brother and and and now will go, and any other other people have the same thing. They don't know what to do and so in that absence of the just. They just had to let it go and I think this is a good thing that we can bang these ideas around with each other and come up with ways that we can we can model this and a lot of driving around looking great those wonderful things.

Those are wonderful things you know in the images, some people like to do their own lawn onward okay that's good that you get some out there you know some people just love sit on the mower. That's their way of decompressing.

I get it. So that may not be the thing for about did you know when you look around just as I don't rush to do it think it through and do it with a with the strategic plan and you watch and see what happened but you know what let me know how works listen, this is hope for the caregiver dispute Roseburg be right back