"Hello, my name is ...?" Caregivers and the loss of identity

Hopefully cured of her own American family radio, this is Peter Rosenberg. This is the relations the show family caregiver for those who put themselves between vulnerable level and even worse disaster especially child. Maybe it's an aging parent may be you have someone in your life and of severe trauma left him permanently impaired. Maybe it's an alcoholic addict. Maybe it's a combination of all of the above. There's lots of different kinds of impairments there's always a family caregiver somewhere in that orbit you that's with the shows that were love 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 if you want to be a part of the show would love to have you do that you could also follow along on Facebook. I would stream the show live there and that is that of hope for the caregiver on the Facebook page so we'd love to have you be a part of this will you post your comments.

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We will get the phone calls to talk about and could have been doing her little bit of a review but just kept circling back. Sometimes when you circle back and go to the. The basics and I have been going through some of the landmines in my book 7 caregiver landmines and how you can avoid the seven caregiver landmines and how you can avoid you know what those are and we all hit the of hit every one of them multiple times.

You don't have to keep hitting you can you can avoid 76, one of the biggest ones and it said it's kind of get multiple components to it is the loss of identity that caregivers go through and we do we we lose ourselves in the someone else's story and its it's a big trap for us as family caregivers they limit.

Let me explain. Think about all the people that you encounter who ask you about how your love one is doing now contrast with that all the people who ask how you're doing. One of the things that I do on the show. Is it when you call it a minute ask you how you feel. It doesn't.

You don't have to have a good answer for you what to say oh I'm just blessed. Whatever I don't want to hear platitudes.

Don't tell me what you think I want to hear what anybody else was to hear that we of the show we really want to know how you were feeling and if you're feeling devastated. Okay, that we can have a conversation that we can be a part of real dialogue here because if if you're if you're just blowing smoke at people, then you're not really dealing with reality. How are you feeling and whatever is going on with you that's that's where we start. That's the conversation start. How are you feeling, Melanie. I like to bring Scripture to play here.

I got two of this morning. A lot of times we we caregiver somehow think that this is what we are created to do and we can't get a a twisted sense of who we are as individuals. I want to read something from first Peter 29 says, but you are a chosen people, royal priesthood holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. That's who you are as a believer as an individual that is who you are. I look at Psalm one 3914. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works, my soul knows it very well does your soul know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You may be a caregiver for a lifetime. A lengthy period of time. I have been 33 years. Okay I get that. But does that mean that that's what you were created to do no, that is an assignment that is not an identity okay get that get that hang onto that. Just hang on to that. That's an assignment, not an identity.

So when people ask you, how are you are you doing we caregivers tend to talk about our love will we visit. Well she just got home from the hospital or he just had a bad night or our situation is this, or we did this and we fail to to speak in first person singular. Do you have a hard time speaking in first person singular when it comes to what's going on with you. Are you embarrassed about it. Do you feel guilty if you even talk about how you feel.

If so, then you're you're hitting that landmine that loss of identity, where it just trips you up and you you find yourself just floundering in someone else's story that doesn't mean that they're not important, doesn't mean that you don't share what's going on with them that that's not what this is about all it's about you, learning to express what's going on in your heart is going on with your headspace what's going on in your life and you don't do that with everybody. By the way some people are physician billing handled is one of things I do with caregivers on the shows as I help you find some stock phrases if you will that that there are levels of of intimacy that you want to have in your life there some people that you don't need to involve everything that's going on with you that the they have earned that right and you don't need to just share all your business with within their some people that you do need to cultivate that with that you that is important for you to learn how to speak in first person singular with edits in its very it's very important for we do for us as caregivers to learn how to distinguish between the two, and so for example you don't. Most everybody knows that my wife is an amputee double if you to both legs, but that doesn't mean that they get to see all her scars okay you see the difference there. Some people just don't don't have that access they don't then there are others who you develop this close trust in friendships with that you do allow see the scars that you doing well to see that the deeper parts of your life, but that's it.

That's a process of trust and building that relationship and I think sometimes we as caregivers where so much of what we carry so much of our pain in our sorrow and her loss in her heart ache all the stuff that would anybody comes up beside us.

It just cut all tumbles out with this and we we make people drink from the fire hose of wheat we share with think that share things with people they don't they don't necessarily need to know they're not necessarily equipped to handle and so there that with this loss of identity, grabs hold of it, or would we bang into this particular landmine it it it it it gets us a way out somewhere. We we weird which is all over the map.

Sometimes. And so what I want to help you and myself to his learning to navigate to the smoothly where we have the trust people that we can share what's going on her heart and then we have the ability to cut a navigate smoothly for folks that just want to come along the periphery and you know how you doing while you sleep fine, but you can't say something else you can kinda move through this smoothly without getting kind of hooked into these areas when you get share more than you really need to share.

This is confusing. I got to unpack the 888-589-8848 885-8884 Peter Rosenberg's gear saying 589-8840 888-589-8840 were talking about the loss of identity that every caregiver struggles with if you haven't struggled with the given time you will and it will it will take you down some dark places just listen that. So coming and I am redeemed happy songs. Have you heard about their great hymns of the faith. Everything else that says he is redeemed she is reading. They don't write songs in third person singular like that, they will we wheat we do it in first person singular is where we want to talk on this show a member had a fella call him one time who was doing with his granddaughter and she was really had a lot of stuff going on and asked are you doing and he kept giving me his granddaughter's chart.

All the things going on with his granddaughter and I interrupted three times to finally sit, hold on, but I get to the fact that your granddaughters get all the stuff but this is hopefully caregiver and I hope the patient hope the parent.

I hope for you know this is hope for the caregiver and I said how are you feeling in this we got very quiet. He said it devastated. I can tell you I go through just scenario after scenario stuff different about his wife is going through esophageal cancer, choose bad shape and I said I how you feel and he went through just the whole gamut, Peter. She's having a rough time or we are doing this are our situations. This knowledge is, and finally stopped an accident on how you feel and that's when the tears started. That's when the stammering start because he wasn't used to expressing what's going on in his heart, see that's why we do the show because I know this about caregivers. I know this about myself. I can't count how many people have asked me about Gracie over the years she's been hurt since 83, 80 surgeries all the stuff that's going on with her.

Are you kidding me think about all the people that have asked about her and just try to put a number on that mean she's out there in public. She's television all these things are people house.

Gracie has Gracie having surgery. No all the surgeries and riling up all these procedures but I can count the one to ask about me and as a caregiver.

I think you understand that don't 888-589-8840 888-589-8840. This really drove home for me one time when I was about pastor left ear. The store several times, but this is, this was kind of one of those pivotal moments in my life or understood the concept. My pastor back in Tennessee I we we live in Southwest Montana now. By the way I drove 15 miles in the snow this morning were lava Saturday morning, I drove 15 miles in the snow. To do this uphill both ways, but I did drive in the snow.

It's beautiful snow outside.

I was back in Nashville and my pastor some years ago and he asked me Peter, would you play as people coming into the sanctuary before the service starts just create a more reverent new atmosphere so the people are just partying and talking and loudly no catch up all the stuff that this is the sanctuary is the place were we worship and so I did another pianist longer than a minute caregiver have been a piano since I was five years old and it was my degree in music in college and so forth and I been doing this for long time and I've been playing for Gracie to see Gracie is a no kidding singer and you'll hear so for music on the show and and for she's got a new CD coming out in November. We are supposed to in October, but her producer was really really slow on it away but that's me, but it's coming out and it is a phenomenal record and Gracie can absolutely just tear it up.

She is such an amazing singer. Sudden playing for her for 30 something years and I got to play and I was playing all these wonderful cords and it dawned on me on him started playing since I was a kid and about, you know, 1/3 of the way through the soft. I realize I wasn't playing the melody. I was hearing Gracie's voice sing this in my head and I was playing around her voice even though she wasn't there and I had to go back and force myself to play the melody now my piano professor back in Nashville at least 80 years old and still stay in touch and that he was my professor in college. Wonderful. Just professor.

In fact, he didn't do it. He's got it. He plays on a duet with Gracie on this because he played when she auditioned for the school of music at Belmont in Nashville this forever better for her Rick in the spring of 83 he play he accompanied her when she auditioned there and then she had this terrible Rick. She set out for a while.

I transferred in and then we met later that he and the planar wedding and that he played in her son's wedding and but he had a way of teaching and Telesis pianist.

He said the best way to do this to start off is to take one finger and start playing the melody with one finger now is a pianist.

That's a lot of work that too much work. Go play one note at a time.

If your trumpet player. That's the way you do it with your pianist. You used all 10 fingers move around somewhere and it's it's an enormous amount of concentration and work to play one note at a time. Expressively, as expressively as you can.

That's what he would tell us. And so I went back and I was playing the songs when I knew do it right there with us .6% of a cut I got through that first service in arrest but okay I gotta go back learned abilities of the souls I went back in one finger played these hymns that I've known since I was a child but had to do it. One note at a time that I realized that's the journey for us as caregivers. We got to go back and sometimes painfully train ourselves to speak from her own heart to play our own melody. Have you lost your melody.

Do you know your melody can you do it now I can play with all 10 fingers for these things of what you you advance to that point. But you don't start off like that you have to sometimes play it. One note at a time and in its awkward it it's a little bit different and you don't do it on stage in front of 10,000 people. You do it privately. You start playing one note at a time. Learn how to say I hurt. I'm tired. I'm scared afraid I'm resentful I'm mad whatever comes after the word I am okay with. That's why do the show that you learning to say it.

One note at a time that you learning to find your melody and pretty soon the more you do this in a trusted environment, the more music that's going to come out of your soul.

You want to see and that's why I did a CD called songs for the caregiver you can get any good.

I hope the caregiver.com and get it or you can go online and stream it at all the stringing places and it was on so forth. Download, but I put on there.

Jesus loves me, that old hymn, Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so I want you. Can you speak in first person singular about your relationship with Christ.

Can you speak in first person singular about how you feel. Can you speak in first person singular about the things that you're caring right now you struggling with it. This is your time. This is your place. This is your hour to be able to wrestle with that and avoid this landmine is a caregiver.

If people keep coming up and asking you how your special-needs child is doing or how that alcoholic and your families doing or how your parents are doing or whatever and fill in the blank. I don't care. That's not the point. The point is if they're not asking about you. Who is I you know what, more importantly, Christ is in your identity is in him.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

You may have an assignment as a caregiver, but that is not who you are. You are so much more than even Christ had an assignment as a caregiver, and he delegated an assignment as a caregiver for his mother from the cross assignment is one thing, identity is a whole different ballgame here. Do you know who you are. Do you know do you know who your diva know how you feel. Are you willing to express it. If your this is the place to do it in the end it may sound really awkward. The first time you do this right.

What I do the show you'll have to give out to tell your real name you just say you're Fred but you could, but I would prefer you so you firstly because that's you hurting how to you don't speak that. But if you feel so embarrassed and feel so awkward we will work with you whatever you can do but but understand that the goal is for you to learn to speak from your heart for you to learn to play the melody for you to learn even if it's one thing at a time to play it out and learn how to speak, from your place because then you start to carve out and regain or reestablish, or maybe just discover for the first time your own identity really important you understand because that's that that's a big step to being a healthy caregiver but healthy individual. Healthy caregivers make better caregivers. How can you be healthy if you don't know your how can you be healthy if you've lost yourself in someone else. If you think it's someone else's life at your expense. How does that work because you do that well enough and always cling to his foster resentment and depression for that those that those of the those of the end results of this is just resentment and depression. You lose yourself in this thing and you don't even know which way is up. Sometimes, how are you feeling are you do you know who you are. Do you know how important you are as nauseous and my name is engraved on the palm of your hands. Go back and look at the Scriptures now and look at look at the way David writes in first person. He pours out his guts, and these things and sometimes go back and look at it. I hurt them tired. Yay though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. We will third fear no evil noesis, I will fear for thou art with us heard him know thou art with me. You know that 880-589-8840 888-589-8840 calls will be right back. This is hopefully caregiver of Hogle was about caregivers host by caregiver.

This loss of identity show 888-589-8846 low graces owes it slower. 888-589-8840. All right, loss of identity. How are you doing there's a caregiver.

I know your level to a lot of problems, so the how are you doing are you hold up as one of the seven caregiver landmines in my book 7 caregiver landmines and how you can avoid the hate about getting it right now for somebody you know if your pastor get this book caregiver struggle with three eyes, we lose our identity that's over time, but today we become isolated and we use our independence to focus on that. I didn't want you to understand how important it is for you to have a grasp on who you are as an individual, Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. Okay he died for all of us. He died for each of us hold onto that told me in Arkansas. Toby and her are you feeling well. I'm doing all right, limit limit required backup Toby Libby first to get you turn the radio off and the second thing is to begin.

How are you feeling better.

I am a survivor I am strong outside I would suffer some primary reason that I'm probably worse. Bring up my walk in this conversation we adopted for our grandchildren five years ago while Special Agent psychologically, three of them are girls are going very well. We have a young boy about eight years old now and very intelligent, highly intelligent, as a matter of fact, but a Hessian church behavioral problems is really like Lydia, backup of all of this just for second to look into this tiny tiny tiny steps okay little one, I know your survivor in a million strong.

How do you feel at times up. Very discouraged daughter hold that hold that thought for just a second here now, why did you adopt these grandchildren.

My oldest daughter had gotten into some serious problems with not being able to hear the children. The wife and I were praying about it. We didn't want to bring the law and cure herself that we were praying about their legitimate and eventually DHS did get involved in the process of trying to take away show my wife and I got involved to keep the family together. We we made the decision to adopt a new Yogesh now is nine boy and we have two twin girls leadership like yours ago we adopted him so no Microsoft made the statement. In no shape her whole life is being concerned with their send. I can tell she's a very creative woman herself and took your sexual should excuse from work.

All of them still working 56 character work now and really don't mind if I make a child of God care but wife and our relationship very disturbing that little fluid, but decided not to exist.

Currently Dracula long percussion. She said it would just be transporting the dark here home down there and should and she is correct well and I get that is both of you do need a break. The break is not to become probably the way you hope for, but it there is that there are past with this but let me back up a little bit where is your daughter. By the way, one the mother of these children is she out of the picture completely well. Court take away all parental rights.

We went out got totally out of the picture. It is going through recurrent ratios, recognition, progress on her way back. Got a ways to go and that we have shared our home periodically you because you daughter? Library and treatment for children like to her late notice but I Hessian positive and negative spirit dispersed website young boy I wish episode knowledge can work. My contraptions from four to Cherry Coke that shocking.

Well at least another way, these things are going to continue okay as they grow older and get into adolescence the fourth. These issues are going to continue to erupt and you're already 71, so by the time you're 80 years old. You could be having a bunch adolescents going through all kinds of stuff. Okay, just know that now in your work. Toby, do you have any special education for social work, counseling, mental health counseling anything like that in your job have a training or artwork or monogram truck driver and ministerial training, I will. Crush nations to trying to ministry my wife and I actually meant to measure away. We met on the midnight but the point is you don't have any of the family therapy stuff in your background and you wouldn't turn over. Would you at the what your truck driver what you got 18 wheeler. You would give the keys to that they need just anybody. Would you know I think you going to find that is can be helpful to you to find trained people who do this all the time that if I got behind the wheel of your truck. Toby IBM, I'd be a basketcase. I mean that is just not my skill set.

I'm a pretty good pianist but I am that that doesn't translate to being a good truck driver and so I would want to have somebody with some real training to be able to deal with this and there are people that have this they can deal exactly with what you and your wife are dealing with and help you guys get to it that back on to a better road that are going to be able to help you with the sort of things and you can have to knock a few doors but I would start with some type of social worker who has a family of background with its cabin with with working with families like this and they're out there. You may have to get a referral from your children's pediatrician assume you children have a pediatrician right into the wrong therapy okay to limit you and your wife are you in various stages of therapy. I know I don't know that we've actually shared it exactly how it made my wife about Gracie Shank when she shoots critically about latent in our view) we have no video should be put into herself. Well I think it's important to let a few close friends know but I think it's even more important right now to let a few close professionals know this is that you know I love truck drivers. I learned a lot of things from drug is one month dear Francis, it is a truck driver and there's always these lessons learned you're carrying a full trailer full of weight you really have to respect the weight and everything you do. You can't break fast he can't turn fast. You know you can change lanes fast you have to really think through this you're carrying an enormous weight right now. Toby, I mean you and your wife stepped up. This is been probably I can't say for sure. I don't know you but I would imagine of all the heartaches you've dealt with in your life. This probably is right at the top and it's an enormous weight. Toby on both of you and you're not young people respect the weight and get some real professionals in here to help you with this.

Don't try to somehow figure out how to restrict all this thing done it yourself. You're going to have to get some real professionals in with this. School counselors can make referrals pediatricians can make referrals don't just share this with a couple of close friends, but you and your wife all of the everyone of you need various levels of therapy and is not a sign of weakness and is not assigned to defeat it's a sign of wisdom because you will and asked for help, but you got asked for help in a smart way for people who really can't help you know if if somebody's not trained in dealing with this you don't need to involve the minute because they're just gonna send you down a rabbit trail of their understanding. There are people out there who deal with this. Sadly, they deal with it day in and day out because this is this the culture war email and this is part of what this drug culture is done to us into the family, but there are people that really do know the sort of things in your area or close enough to your area but but don't just think that your children, your grandchildren have to go into these things. Points of counseling you and your wife due to the whole family does, and this is going to take a lot out of you guys, and you need to be plan set in place of a digit. There's a lot of things that have to be dealt with Toby. I'm sorry, but they are. This is the reality live with and I'm glad your daughter is getting some help in getting into some kind of recovery program.

But what about you guys, are you guys getting some kind of recovery program and and there are family programs like that out there that help with people who are relationship with addicts and alcoholics, your kids, you got your grandkids are going to start having various things going on in their lives that are going to act out behavior issues, and so forth this going to just make you and your wife will pull your hair. There are places though that could help with that. I want Toby don't don't go away. I am going to hang on to talks more about this okay don't know go away all right.

We go take a quick break. We hang on for I don't Toby spit Roseburg this is over. The caregiver will be like. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time I questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis.

We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs all — is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others that standing without.com. I'm Gracie.

I am staining without daughter had a drug problem to her three children. They've adopted the children. Children behavior issues, and it's just overwhelming to this is what we show this is why we do the show. There's word where you'd even go how to even start to speak in your own voice that I do. I'm not going to be solutions because can't. I don't have all I'm going to do is point you to place where you can start speaking in your own voice and then you can better ask for help, we can identify what help.

Looks like and then point you towards right you would be a part of the show.

888-589-8848 885-8988 for if you want to sponsor the show go to staining without.com you heard the ad from Gracie. We have two programs of study with hope. It is for the prosthetic limb outreach.

She envisioned after giving up her own legs and for this particular show. The hope for the caregiver show is for the wounded and those who care for and when it involved today standing without.com specs for gift and you can be a part of the show but to Toby Toby. A couple things to think about this over the break. Woodwinds last time you saw your doctor or doctor are only going to show every career. Victory drug vehicle night was last time you wife saw her doctor a few months ago on my periodic unbundling does not change with age.

Those only to get worse with age.

Here's what I was think about during the break that I know you're busy not want to take a lot of your time with it, but I do appreciate you take the time to call means a lot to me. It's a big deal that you called okay what I can get this thing so you can get here overnight you and I can get through this overnight but what we can do is we can to start establishing some things right now where you can do.

I think the first order business that was Toby is is you have a regular doctor you're out there drive the truck stresses on you a regular doctor involved in your life, making sure that not only just qualify to drop it, but that you're actually healthy and moving towards being healthier as you do with this. The stress on you is enormous.

Okay, so I'm really encouraging you to regularly see your own doctor check your blood pressure how check all these things up because Toby Toby.

If you stroke out with all the stress this thing is not to get easier for your wife. Okay, you're the one is providing right now and you, being healthy, not just qualify the draft I'm qualified to live. Toby so that's the first step second one is your wife the same thing in and tell your doctor look at 100 enormous amount of stress here and it's all on you to be able to provide for this family. If DSS is involved.

DCS involved up arbitral services of whatever state whatever they call in your state go back to them. Whoever is the caseworker for this and tell them some the things that you told me today and lay it out and don't leave them until they have an action plan of the family getting various types of therapy, not just you but not not just the kids but you and your wife there people there that are do this they understand this thing understand the whole concept of what's going on with your family but you gotta be willing to pin them down as a little weird not leaving here until we have a plan when you go to Dr.'s office you you asking for. I want a plan of care that one of things I tell people with when you're dealing with chronic physical maladies like my wife's, we don't go there ducks as well as try this for couple weeks and signaled on on the working of a plan of care. If the plaintiff gears were to wait three weeks and they were going to do this, then you can expect a call in three weeks because I will follow up with that and expect them to do as well well your family needs a plan of care. The whole family, not just the kids both you and your wife. If either one of you guys are one sprained ankle away from this thing turned into a Greek tragedy. Okay that's help deadly serious.

This is so Monday morning three calls. One of them is to your family physician or whatever if you don't have one, get one and start start of path of healthy physical care for you to make sure that all your lab works a good bloodwork not just qualify the drive qualified to live then your wife same thing and then to that DCS whoever it is is handling the kids. They look the whole family is we we are really really strained under this we need a plan of care and don't stop to you get. Okay, those are your action steps that you can do better.

It we had a major court battle. Just to get. One of the sidekick brand that was affected working architect Carolyn subject this is not a friend word not to flee but you don't have a lot of friends in this land now so you have to do something.

Somebody's going to have to step up and help you guys so if it's not them go to your doctor and get a referral to a social worker that they use, but somebody's got have to advocate for you and your wife you're advocating for the children whose advocating for you and your wife so they're not your friend.

Okay, if that door is closed, we gotta go knock another one. Our greatest warrior woman heard.

During this conversation later that weekend. We need to seek some spiritual counseling with her counseling, not just not just spiritually, you need you need you need more than just that to you. You need spiritual counseling. I agree with that but but here's the deal. Allow my ask you one straight up question if you stroke out you have a wreck. Something happens to you. You die your wife does what happens. The kids there. I world you where I stand on the site and is not going to take me out before I get my job that is not stand that is not notably from Roger saying it. That is what I will do with my life I am living where excerpts from some call from you. Have a plan.

I understand your faith. I got it lead to but I still have a plan for my wife. If something happens to me. Well I like to receive support from your conversation and I'm going to follow and what and what you do the task at hand. Toby, I wanted to spend a little extra time you kids are going to have a lot of emotional needs that are going to be just compounded is a step in the puberty and adolescence and you and your wife are going to be approaching 80 years old when that happens. So if you can start putting some things in place right now you going to be able to better care for them and I understand the whole point of faith.

I'm the same way. I'm a man of faith, myself, and I have a responsibility to do these things, but also have life insurance for my wife to make sure she's okay if something happens to me.

Okay.

And those are things that we can do as caregivers to be responsible. We can't if we can guarantee outcomes, but we can be responsible Toby, I appreciate you taking the time to call and means a lot that you took the time to call it know it's hard: is this a hard things with you but I do appreciate it okay God bless your work there.

Thank you Toby, thank you very much see if we squeeze in one more. Tim in Oregon to month. We got just a little bit of time here, but I didn't want to. I just wanted to grab use quick as I could tell he was going on.

Real quick. How are you feeling good. Have a follow along with pancreatic cancer stage IV so he probably has less than a year. He's living in my home and that upsets my that set my special needs eight-year-old thinks we spent much time with him. I have a 12-year-old. This is why I'm calling who, at his at 12 months or friends that at school and middle school budget gender confused get some who identify trends gender who are changing their names his parents about along with anything and what I'm I'm thinking is that we need to connect that she's interested in talking with someone we tried to fake opening. Keep the lines of communication open.

Even as she says will call me to call me a boy's name so the girls name out. I gather this is not terribly uncommon in our society now and that at this age of 12. Yesterday in our society. There seems to be gender fluidity, but that counselor if their regular ADA counselor deposit until the APA line which I think is politically motivated and unconcerned bill. It can be very hard to find somebody who is not going to say oh yeah, that's great but will try to pull them towards towards the right towards the good towards the truth and what Christ that's well. It starts with you doing. It starts with you doing and personally I don't I don't buy into what the culture says of the culture right now is got there kids so far will never month the week. We need a lot of cranial proctologist in the medical industry right now in the psychological industry because the culture cannot dictate to you what Scripture says I created this is I've got like one minute to address an issue that is gripping our society.

Our society has lost its collective mind right now and mental illness is crept into all these things and on into our dialogue and I'm probably going to get a lot of heat for this but you know what I do. Scripture is very clear on this, it will be hard to find somebody maybe in your area that will back you up on this.

That is mean you can't do it and that is mean it doesn't happen. This station has resources if you listen the station you understand the policy of the station and there are people out there that can help guide you in this but don't buy into the culture and don't buy another language. I refuse to allow the Scripture says okay this is hope for the caregiver observer Tim.com