A Podiatrist Provided Teaching Moment Regarding Caregiver Stress

Sometimes the pain that we feel is not the source of the pain that's in our lives and let me let me explain explain this. There are times I know for me that you look at one thing said that if this could go away than I would feel okay. Do you feel that way as a caregiver. I know that the lesson was for me driven home when I went to the podiatrist given to the podiatrist. I went to the podiatrist a while back because I have a foot dysfunction and I was having a very significant pain on the left side of my foot. Okay.

And in and in particular were certain types of shoes and it would feel like it was just a likable appearance sticking in on the left side of my left foot. It was right there you'll cover below the middle took over the little toe which the little toe serves no other purpose other than to let you know where the furniture is in your home at night. That's the only purpose of the little, too.

But in my case I had it right below it and it was it was very uncomfortable and it it was it was a situation where I was try to make all kinds of accommodation for it for shoes.

Whatever putting something on it in whatever and if I'll just broke down when somebody monies podiatrist said what is going on with this and what what's happening with this and he said will you have a bunion in the suit was yeah but that's on the other side of my foot and and I said that's not where the pain is in and he said the pain is being caused because the bunion is throwing off your gate and is putting pressure you have a deformity in your foot that is causing pressure in another area and it's it it's creating a pitch. He said I bet your left knee hurts two dozen, and I thought well yes, as a matter fact does he said your entire walking gait is being thrown off by this deformity over here on this side of your foot, which are feeling the pain.

On the other side of your foot and then is throwing off your walking gait and making your knee hurt so you're feeling pain in two different places but that's not the source of your problem and I thought you and I aren't I just wanted to sit on that for a while and think about that because I realize that is caregiver. Sometimes we are looking to certain things as being the source of our problems. But the really not. There's a deformity somewhere else that is creating a pinch. Other places of our lives.

We have a loved one who may be acting out in a way that we don't particularly like it. We think if they could stop that behavior then we would not feel the pain that we would feel okay that's not really the way it works is because if we are considering ourselves okay based on someone else's behavior whose really got the problem and is my podiatrist buddy explained to me. I have a deformity in my foot that deformity buffet didn't really hurt that much, but it was throwing off everything else in his caregivers. I would suggest to you that maybe we have some kind of deformity some type of defect.

Some types of character defect in our own lives that throws off everything in the least little bit of pressure will calls pain and issues to erupt. That will, we think that that's the problem that will make all kinds of allowances for the pain will take medication for will will want to treat that place where it hurts all the stuff in reality we got a deal with the deformity. The character defect. The issue over on the other side it's creating this ripple effect through our lives. This is what happens to us as caregivers and and and it it spent enough time doing it and you'll see it, you firmly say often on the show. There is nothing like taking care of somebody with severe disabilities for couple decades to expose the gunk.

This, in your soul or in this case, my soul, and this is this is my journey.

This is why I do the show. This is why I write books.

This is why I speak on this because I understand now after 34 years of this a little clearer picture of what's really going on. And I've heard too many callers too many people see if I could just get mom to do this, or if I could just get my dad to do this, or if I can get my siblings to help me with this or this Dr. would just do this that I can be up if I could just relieve that pressure on that that spot that I won't hurt as much and I'll be okay. In reality there something going on in our hearts. That's it that's causing all types of alignment issues with the rest of our lives. Utrecht, with music to mature way of the hinterlands because that's I believe the battle for us as caregivers that that we can learn to be at peace. No matter what is going on.

We can learn to be up to two to learn how to be calm her in the midst of whatever is going on and if we're not doing that. Why not, why not and and I hi, I used to think this with I could just we could just do this and I learned a lot of this from Gracie, because as the number of surgeries that she endured, soared past 80 then it it and she used to think okay if I just get through this surgery. This will fix what happened to me. But in reality she slammed into a concrete abutment in 1983. Something still get fixed and she came to a place where she was at peace and I'm not doing this anymore. I'm not going to go down this path anymore. I'm going to learn to live life here and accept this reality that I'm in and not fight against it with more more surgeries that are constantly chipping away at my body and causing all levels of dysfunction. That's a physical manifestation of what I believe is going on with us on a heart level