#411 Caregiver Principles For A Chronically Impaired Nation

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100% of what you give goes to the field and get the ball went gospel fundraiser to support family of Jesus family this Christmas and give them six explanation see chickens and camping John a lot about what's going on and I think I have correlations of the things we deal with this. Caregivers may apply to what's going on around the country. This is the curator the Roseburg. This is the nation's number one show for you as a family caregiver fee will be part of the show 877-655-6755 877-655-6755 would love to have you be part of the show John up and think about this. John, the Celt of money disco himself is with us, you know, I was watching like most people are just the meltdown of the country Of the year were almost like having a national seizure and and and it's just it's heartbreaking to see on multiple levels and I don't think that it's you know that I can add anything to the equation of the political commentary, and so forth.

But when I set out to write about more qualified people that are affirming that job. Now I know is that it's that right there to lift me up moment that that makes you so special to hear how you not on a really taken by the hand through a foggy angle by the hair know I set out to write my book. Hope the caregiver and I was when the publisher asked me to get involved with this book.

They wanted to do this, they said what we'd like you to do this in you and it was one of the same statement. It was a book deal that happened in the space of hours you know I didn't have to picture he feels they came to be. That's always the best. Get a book on said I so what I started doing this I okay what what are the core issues that caregivers deal with what it what we face with because I think when you first think of caregiving and this is within every sense of even talked about the show from pitching the show one before we started was a thought about nursing homes right and that's that that's just kind of general no caregiving is so much more than just dealing with the nursing home and caregivers deal with very very significant realities that are common to all mankind, but enhanced because of the pressure cooker exactly caregiver just makes all of the things that we all deal with way more intense. It's like a Marshall amp if I find so it's it's like a Marshall Avenue it just it just truly cranks up the noise. Okay, so then I thought I started reading you to reverse engineering.

Alright, so what is the noise that's being rigged up so much.

What is it about family caregivers that were struggling so much to deal with and I came up with this thing called the fog of caregivers fear obligation and guilt because I feel like that is a common issue that human beings face but is uniquely difficult for caregivers because of the relentless onslaught.

It is so easy to get lost in that fear that obligation that guilt. How many times have we heard callers into the show. John, who just were doing things that what we can do about this how we can fix this. You know all that fear that just generates an agenda it ramps up up will and and what because that the that the necessary mechanism that we have.

We should be afraid of certain things, but we don't need to exist and that all the time. It's just not built for but as caregivers we often do that and you and we get forced into it yes and then he goes obligation. You know and that's without resentment comes and I'm obligated to this and that I need to be doing this but I don't want to be doing this and I'm obligated and then we get into the guilt management and that you know I should heal peel off. I should get all rushed or I brought this child in the world, special needs or I messed up I went there for mama every single day and the people at the nursing home abused her. And I wasn't there and we have guilty all that comes and then you get lost in the fog of jiggers. What happens when you get lost. Well did. That's when excellent accidents happen. That's when danger at this when you hit a tree go off the cliff hit somebody else you have to slow down and you have to dismantle this and go a different direction. This is what I did what I wrote the book that came up with that thing called unit GPS to help caregivers navigate through it. Something external of themselves to help them get through that will how does that apply the country. Excuse me John. I'm sorry for you.

There is no excuse but are we as a country kind of lost in that fear, obligation, guilt, fog, and I thought about that because there was such unbridled destruction going on and that often happens when people have lost their way and they don't know where they're going and they're just slamming into something and and they think they're in control of something. But the really not in you know it's it's the fog doesn't respect anybody's abilities.

It doesn't respect anything you just think it's right yeah it's it's not you. Either you either navigate it safely, you navigate it poorly. Your choice and and so as I watch these these individuals across the country doing this.

I think some of them are being driven. Evidently the reports bear out the sum of the being driven by ideology. I think we know that most people agree that some of that but some of it is just being driven by people who are just in despair and lost and feels so disenfranchised, so so lost of his know the word is law yeah yeah and it the is is is our job to have empathy as humans. That's one of the things that we do and being able to understand that from the perspective of the caregiver that can give a little bit of insight so well. So I thought about the same things that help caregivers get out of that fog or navigate safely work situation with that GPS that grace purpose and stewardship and I think we all deal with grace and I'll get back to that with that word stewardship when you hear the word stewardship child, what is it signify to you the joke I want to make. This is from the signing something really exhorted his fear of the Overlook Hotel now quite like if you it is something that you like a librarian library custodian, a custodian of all of this you don't like that it, like all of the books are in the custody of the librarian, but they they are not owned by them is not is not dating right the books they didn't do anything like that. They they keep them and make sure that they are in good condition for people to enjoy because they feel that there is something valuable to put into the world by doing so when you say stewardship. That's one of the first things that I think of this very interesting thing that's very interesting. Thank stewardship is a word we don't use a lot our country slip $24 trillion in debt. Clearly who we could to which phone use a lot, but are we being good stewards of good custodians if you will do to stave that the wood being good custodians of freedom only being good stewards and custodians of other people's issues, weaknesses, or ghetto things that they're facing. Are we unwanted, whatever their concerns are yeah only being good stewards and custodians of our own concerns or we just stuffing it down and then it comes out in a destructive manner when it's what we talked about boundaries that's that's what his boundaries are not for other people. They are for ourselves and I think that when when you don't deal with your own feelings of whatever they are in a healthy manner. They will come out of the destructive manner ministries that that's a give it it will head out you. You either destructive for someone else or destructive toward yourself being that's what happens yeah and and so I looked at volcano's list multiple times, but from knowing that is but but I look at what's going on in the country. Don't think it okay are we being art individuals or groups of individuals law enforcement whatever being good custodians good stewards and clearly this all was triggered by this video. This law enforcement that you know and he bought the ticket he will take the right.

But but the mission of police forces to serve and to protect not to command into you know to beat down, and if someone gets out of hand. There are ways to do that. But then we've lost that store. We can even have that conversation anymore because of the destructive swath that went through the entire country. The last four heights about him in the same way that as a caregiver.

Unfortunately, meltdowns are thing if there is something there is yeah glad I closet six and in in the middle of of of of a melt down what is it that caregivers need and then if this country is in the middle of a melt down what is it that the country exactly so can we draw can we use the same principles in dealing with a long-term issue that doesn't show any signs of the silly going away or being fixed. Can we deal with that with the same principles that caregivers deal with these things and that's that's the question that's the thought I have, and so I thought well let's talk about that little bit about when you feel free to weigh in on at 877-655-6755 877-655-6755 this is Peter Rosenberg.

This is hope for the caregiver.

Healthy caregivers make better caregivers will be right in you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time the questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help and inmates in Tennessee prison.

We also recycle parts from donated lambs. All death is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others@standingwithout.com. I'm Gracie. I am staining without as a caregiver.

Think about all the legal documents you need power of attorney will, living wills, and so many more than about such things as disputes about medical bills. What if instead of shelling out hefty fees for a few days of legal help. You paid a monthly membership and got a law firm for life while we are taking legal representation and making some revisions in the form of accessible, affordable, full-service coverage. Finally, you can live life know you have a lawyer in your back pocket who at the same time is an empty it's called legal shield and its practical, affordable, and must for the family caregiver visit caregiver legal.com that's caregiver legal.com. Isn't it about time someone started advocating for you www.dotcaregiverlegal.com on independent associate. Hopefully caregiver here on telltale this is Peter Rosenberg. This is the basis of caregiver are you are you doing-877-655-6755 877-655-6755 if you would be a part of the show.

That was my wife Gracie from her new record, resilient, and she is indeed resilient to get back to our conversation. John and I have a very philosophical discussion on this and probably down here to guard its such a strong word but were talking about some things with our country and can the principles of caregivers navigate to say for grandma that help others as well. The country and I think it will and I I was struggling with this as I was watching because at that what you stated this and and I don't know that requires me to say anything, but I'm saying something myself.

I guess at this point to get up right now and read because I think it's it's so big it's so awful it's so horrendous and okay when things look big awful and horrendous was the first thing we need to do and according to the things I've learned over the years had been a caregiver for now 34 years.

The first thing you do slow down just like when you come to a fog of the road you slow down you just simply slow down and do you feel like that as a country as this thing was racing out of control that anybody was saying. Slow down.

John yeah and enter, bring anybody up to speed, who has been around we talk about the fog of caregivers and being lost in the fog fear obligation gills because you know you're clever with words and acronyms and things like that so real, witty, or at least halfway there.

Hello I like that like you know you got all the little that you deserve so, but you know we talk about the fog here and that the fog of caregivers is exactly as I was watching all this and think it okay what's the is there anything that that caregivers experience and learn that may be applicable here yeah and and of course vice versa out you were interested in how you like were always arrows will but but here's the here's the general problem for caregiver it in just a broad brush were dealing with a relentless, the relentless challenges of a chronic impairment okay now some of the lines are going well.

Some of those may be really acute and be dealing with when you did with somebody whose addict or alcoholic. Those those are our wildly out of control. Behaviors right right and then you're dealing with people who have dementia and that is a declining circling out-of-control behavior just relentless yeah but then you may begin with the special needs kid who deals with autism where it can your certain structures that can be learned and modified to help with this Alta single improvement.

Yeah, I can but then you deal with a physical disability and and that can be accommodated with adaptive equipment so they're different because of things. But regardless of which there chronic impairments that create recent array of relentless challenges and this could go on for years. In my case is worded our fourth decade, or could go for you for the lifetime and and it doesn't end a grave for the caregiver because I think the caregiver deals with the residual impact in imprint of this so let's take that thought and then put it on what the nations go through. I think it's very clear that our nation is chronically ill. We have a chronic impairment that is relentless in our nation, and it is fostering the inflammation of rage and resentment and anger on multiple levels. It is not just the disparity of a treatment by police officers towards African-Americans. Then you got the people now who are seeing the impairment of unleased rage tearing apart businesses that had nothing to do with this whatsoever being the cheesecake that are socially living. They were looting the cheesecake factory to the plastic. The cheesecake factory. Well yes, but it had absolutely nothing to do with any of this.

It's just the cheesecake factory and says he want to get super philosophical about it. This is a notice and we do it does have something to do with it there. There are the people who would would encourage that sort of action are saying that this is all part of the same deal.

Burn it on yet burn it all down and and I might not agree, but I can. I could have a conversation with him about that. I could not while you're still you're just not want my cheesecake but I could have a conversation about it and that's the but that's not where we are right now where you really having a conversation. So what I was getting to is that if you said the nation has a chronic impairment.

One of the first things you do is you diagnose and you figure out what that impairment is and I don't know if we've done that yet.

No, I don't think we have an and I think it's too easy to say well it's this right because because the symptoms are what they are, by manifold, but let's go back to the caregiver possess yeah just about all right so those of us who love this country able to care for this country and be good stewards of this country. What is our responsibility.

What is our part in this. What can we do. I don't have an enormous amount of faith in the political establishment bringing any type of viable solution. I don't this could happen. I think that the American people will have to is as individuals and as a collective decide that they want to move in a different direction. Now there'll be stragglers along the way, that won't go there now and and there should be people who are out front.

Well, one of our favorite philosophers. Fred Rogers always look for the help. There there are people out there doing and and and if so, I and I go back to this fog of caregivers. This is where it really goes off the rails for us as caregivers, we were trying to do something, to the best of her ability were usually running short on time were very very pressed for time. It's getting ugly for us and in the tension is building up the tensions that out also. We have a fog, and we somehow mistakenly think we can punch this thing and were just going to have to slow down so I think you can ask when I have to slow down when your letter is linguistic turn on the high beams don't turn on your high beams. No slow down and follow outside help.

So what is outside help, said the GPS that grace purpose of stewardship and go but the stewardship are we being the best stewards custodians in your word of the freedom that we have. If your law enforcement officer are you being a good steward of the authority you been given. If you are a citizen are you being a good steward of the responsibilities you have as a citizen of this country and when you start changing the account. The conversation little bit, but just those adding those words in is a political leader are you being a good steward of the office that you hold and that's because they really should be. When we talk about you said what what is the steward look like to you while I didn't say politician because although that's the ideal. I'd don't have a lot of faith that they've gotten close to that ideal. It was designed to that way. Yeah that they were's citizen legislature inexact science of that but it's but it's become so much more and then I go back to the first part of the GPS grace purpose of stewardship. This is something I live by myself as a caregiver of these things because I get lost in the fog on any given day. Any given point. It's not fair. The fog is not fair is just the fog and so I get lost as I go back to this grace purpose and stewardship. Okay, so what is grace look like this and this and see a married woman named Grace. I think she is the most beautiful name in the entire English language that is just like I just love her name. Grace and what it means unmerited favor.

You don't have to earn it. It's given in our thought can we demonstrate and give grace to one another in this to ourselves exactly can we give grace distributed.

I read about.

I'll put you up with you on the spot is okay with giving grace tears.

I do, I all the time. I there are times when I'm really good at it. And then there's out.

You know it's even something as simple as this is the joke way of looking at the like lying awake at night thinking about that you know this is like an air supply. So yeah way to fall out when I was dark out here for that joke. It's an antique but that something is and is a silly thing.

But like I said that I said that really embarrassing thing in seventh grade and I'm still stuck with me or something like that. So I sat and then you could just gets magnified or the you know the the argument you have yourself with yourself in the shower that you lose as I get that listed what can we continue this John II this is hopefully caregiver this is Peter Rosenberg my asking/0877.

Join the dialogue.

Even a Facebook lab. Whatever you call it, tell us your thoughts on it. 877-655-6755 877-655-6755, the arbiters of this we just will have the dialogue.

Is there a better way to do this.

Can we show better stewardship. I think we can will be right back speed Rosenberg here helped somebody walk for the first time I've had that privilege many times through our organization. Standing with hope when my wife Gracie gave up both of her legs follow this horrible Rick that she had as a teenager and she try to save them for years and if it just wouldn't work out. And finally she relinquished him and that while this is that I'm now heavy legs anymore.

What can God do with that and then she had this vision for using prosthetic limbs as a means of sharing the gospel to put legs on her fellow amputees and that's what we been doing now since 2005 was standing with hope. We work in the West African country of Ghana and you can be a part of that through supplies through supporting team members through supporting the work that were doing over there, you can designate a limb. There's all kinds of ways that you can be a part of giving the gift that keeps on walking and standing with hope.com would you take a moment ago understanding with hope.com and see how you can give they go walking and leaping and praising God. You can be a part of that@standingwithhope.com as a caregiver.

Think about all the legal documents you need power of attorney will, living wills, and so many more than about such things as disputes about medical bills.

What if instead of shelling out hefty fees for a few days of legal help paid a monthly membership and got a law firm for life while we are taking legal representation and making some revisions in the form of accessible, affordable, full-service coverage.

Finally, you can live life know you have a lawyer in your back pocket who at the same time is an empty it's called legal shield and its practical, affordable and a must for the family caregiver visit caregiver legal.com that's caregiver legal.com. Isn't it about time someone started advocating for you www.dotcaregiver.com on independent associate.

Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you.

I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became it. I questioned why God allowed something so brittle to happen to me. But over time the questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing without more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis.

We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison.

We also recycle parts from donated lambs.

All this is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit staining with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others like you. Hope caregiver here on family talk channel Sears exam 131 were left letting the speed Rosenberg the show and we are glad to have you here. That is my wife Gracie singing from her new record resilient. You can get a copy that hopefully caregiver.Tom just click on her CD cover and you can help me part of what we do at the show of whatever amount you want to give will send you a CD and it's a tax-deductible gift to our organization or ministry that we do we start this a long time ago. We have to program areas.

One is a prosthetic limb outreach staining with how that Gracie envisioned after she gave up both of her legs and she want to be able to offer quality prosthetic help to her fellow entities. We been working in the country of Ghana and over West Africa, the Republic of Ghana for 15 years and we send over supplies purchase supplies and then we also go over there with teams were going to go there in August, but I don't know that traveling overseas right now John is probably the best call we had yeah might be to hold off on that for just a little longer, but were innocent week. We just bought some resin and anything that you will do to help us continue that work. We also were sitting over some funds to help with a little extra cost of some food for some of the patient's technicians we work with, and so forth in the sink is hitting everywhere.

So were able to do that and if you want to help us do more of it. Good standing with hope and take a look at it it's it is extraordinary work and I think you be very very pleased with it and then the other courses. This radio show in our outreach to the family caregivers is for the wounded and those who care for the hopefully caregiver.come. Oh by the way we recycle prosthetic legs it out.

I was as if you have a buddy who who has a deputy in the family. Please communicate this to him because we empty so with a lot of legs. Gracie is going to have a mentor 29 years as an entity zero semi joking here. There's a but it's still bug me all but I got off the but is the notion you could recycle prussic Lake or leased components of not the whole thing. The socket is uniquely made to that person. That's what we purchase resin because it's used in the elimination process of making a brand-new socket, but you can recycle these the feet. The pylons connectors. The adapter screws the prosthetic socks. The belt sleeve flatters the sleeves of their good shape in the shoes, but I just constantly amazed at how may people listed one leg with one she wanted of the good we don't carry the other shoe here with the police in both both shoes because we will we be glad to give shoes to somebody because a lot of people don't have a lot of the entities we treat where sandals write that are not necessarily good or flip-flops basically right. Right. And that's not good for a prosthetic foot, so I imagine why it would have had more patients come in that with the children for that which he loved children and we bought them. The first pair shoes is a market across street from the clinical over there I would take a little foot, one of the prosthetic feet we get half of all sizes and I go there. Try to match up with the right shoe and usually get lace up type sneakers or dressers of things that have a solid you construction zones and that's the first pair shoes at some of these children of ever owned. You know I have we been doing the show for seven years getting violent and I didn't know that I that's a beautiful story that it is.

There's nothing like going to an open-air market in Ghana with a prosthetic leg to get a few of your white guy and and you with up really early. Well, they think of Bill Clinton over there about white hair and a yellow to spray to Corinth and so it's a bit but I get a lot of stares at the Kolbe or Brody the sailboat and a good topic.

They're just delightful people and so this is something that's been cut. This is completely off topic but you know us, so I think we will allow this for a little bit yeah, but it's out recently, even our president has tweeted something about this.

Have you ever seen the pallbearers over there that the governing Politburo yeah we did of the futures of their something to behold. Yeah I we can talk about this like I just curious it's it's it's yes it is. It is that something that we can certainly talk about this either to write right regulated back to the links yeah about legs but anyway so that your you're doing this in a wonderful beautiful country with lots of interesting interesting things going on. There are interesting things that go on and in their delightful people who we are pleased to serve in this capacity, and if so if you know somebody that has prosthetic leg tell, don't throw away the things they outgrow the discard will take about will recycle them. If you are know of somebody at a funeral homes of the class just pass the word on that. You family members can do this and help somebody else walk and they go to prison in Tennessee course immigrants, this prison is one of their many faith-based programs and inmates volunteer to disassemble, which is a really wonderful program in itself, to use only one of the country like this were inmates volunteer to participate in this one-of-a-kind program so put the word out there it stably them as well. Guessing because when you were young present did you visit me know that ditto Jesus said five things sick, they could have imprisoned Thursday and he's pretty serious that all five of those things like it.

He seems to think so, but it's you know that the inmates love the work that it's interesting work and they get to see that is making a real difference for people and and there and a lot of times patients will send in the note with the family with the family member of that love for that, passed away the sin of the note telling the story we keep those notes was very meaningful to us so we take very seriously at a faith-based programs prison work if you don't, you know, if you want to learn more about that got the core civic.com casino film showed all the different things at work work it helps reduce the recidivism.

What would people they don't want people coming back. You know it's on the hotel. We don't want you to come back. We went out a lot live a productive life and that's a part of it so steady without.com if you want to see more about that sin without.com jumper talk about the fog of caregivers and continue this conversation because I been thinking as I watch the nation struggle with this. It's very easy to be on the sidelines. We caregivers understand that because a lot of people in the silence, always telling us how to do it better exactly and and I don't want to be that person in this situation. I can't tell the Minneapolis police and the state trooper, the governor of that how to do it better. I can't tell the mayor of Nashville how to do it better when he did his thing yesterday and it would little walking there in Nashville. I can't tell the president how to do better. Me, I can't. But what point does it have exact it's like you're taking care of a loved one with Alzheimer's and your family members or friends. Whatever was that there beside lives and judge you, tell you how well you do it or not doing it. Some skin in the game. Okay you know yeah that visit, but right but but the question I have is, are some of the principles that we as caregivers deal with on a regular basis are they helpful in a situation like this and so I just you and I do not rehearse this. There was no plate. We are not coordinated in any way fresher for we don't know have rehearsals but but I wanted to have this conversation. I have looked to John over the seven years that he is helped guide the show would produce it. Look to him. This is a tremendous sounding board to be able to just bounce things off of and throw it out there and then he filters it through his barometer and whatever it is he filters it through and and and spent it spins around wasn't what we talked about how the sausage is made are probably best not to but you know what I just thought about that. I thought okay, what can what can we learn from this is, is there something particular because clearly were not learning the lesson very well as a country, while the more we talk about this during the course of this hour, I II think that one of the more the things that we can learn is just having having some empathy for and I see so much about everyone has someone to blame in this and we leap to that very, very often we like to put blame on something or someone, or some other thing and blame is a form of moral I meet while it's taking your hands off somebody else's throat being forgiveness and let blame the kid that goes back to our GPS model to get to the fog exactly what happens in airplane pilots of what they use a GPS and external orientation in time and space rights are GPS in dealing with this that first that G stands for grace instead of blame can we give grace there you go and graces on merited favor and as a believer I can tell you that I'm often asking for mercy for myself and justice for everyone else man and that is a bad place to be just the faith that is not a healthy play but but when you asked for mercy for yourself and justice for others to we can we flip that little bit in and and or at least shift the thinking and starts it.

Okay, what does mercy look like what is grace look like in the situation. What is grace look like to the that that the perpetrator of this thing that started this whole thing with George. For the that that the police officer. That's good, that's a separate transaction that's gonna have to be dealt with in the course of law enforcement. My thing is, what about grace for the Minneapolis Police Department.

What about grace for those people that have to show up the next day and go to work in an environment where they know that the entire world.

I was looking at them and thinking oh my gosh, what kind of you know what I grace there will, and if you if you if we are talking about the country in the context of having a chronic impairment. That's grace for everyone that ladies already think that's an extensive grace isn't yeah yeah and and we can we give you we can emphasize one group 3 groups five groups whatever but to try to get out of having a say in their this is bad.

These are good right right yet. If you, our job is not our job so you really have yeah we have we have an impairment you know somebody with dementia you don't come after them and say you're a bad person, you have a document yeah and if you can do that to people who engage in property destruction or just peacefully protesting or are the police officers or whatever but you give like there's it's can be fair, it's good to be very difficult because getting grace often isn't nearly as loud as the opposite know it's not his yeah and and and grace doesn't mean that they are absolved of consequences of behavior and consequences themselves can be an active grace because it allows people to learn. It allows people to to have to deal with their own stuff, you know right and if you want talk about like reforming the white adjusting the way that we protest, or adjusting the way the police interact with certain aspects of the community or adjusting that that's that's part of the deal were were still trying to figure out supposed to work out well and and then you get there. There's a lot of opportunity for grace and stewardship all the way up the food chain here.

Yeah were officers put in situations where they were not confronted over there issues and they were not having to answer for behaviors long before it becomes this level of distraction right and if so what can we do to back that up and start putting in those kinds of places so there warning flags with caregivers.

I can tell you there always warning flags with caregivers. I called the seven caregiver landmines in one of those is we start gaining weight.

We we just do so many caregiver start gaining weight. That is a warning sign that that that caregiver is seeking to comfort something something is not balanced.

Another one is the loss of identity. We start speaking in first person plural third person singular. That's a warning sign and so there's an interesting thing there because I think I want one of things I look out with the with the sickness of the country that were talking about is I I feel like that. A lot of this is people searching for identity and that's one of the best in all kinds of stuff you know with weather like it if if you are a what it doesn't matter. As you make something political you are, forcing people into your walking somebody into one side or the other, you know like if it's if it's worth talking about one thing or no incident that removes the polarizing person yeah yeah it ends up being polarizing. And that's running out of time. But that's that's where my brain was no that's it is a good place to go because I think that this is what happens to us and we sit it has to be this way doesn't know sometimes you can build a better mousetrap and as a caregiver.

I can tell you that sometimes as caregivers we have to learn to build better mousetrap. We can't just keep doing the same with talks more about this. This Is Hopefully Caregiver St., Roseburg. This is the show for you as a family caregiver 877-655-6755 877-655-6755 and caregiver here on five 6755 I thank you John for taking the time to indulge me with this because I do think that the principles that we face dealing with chronic impairment as caregivers can be applied and it takes a little bit of thinking and a little bit of elbow grease and I had a heart love heart. When we got yeah well and and and this is part of this is counterfeiting the theme for what what I try to do all the time, which is I I'm probably not going to be right at the very beginning of the conversation will often really married to the idea that we know.

I commented coming to a thing and and owner know I've got the answer I noted that Kevin Bacon was in footloose you know and maybe you're wrong. So you look it up on Google or whatever because you're more interested in being right at the end of the conversation and then we hear sitting of learning, you don't have to prove someone wrong in order for you to be right now and and and and hopefully you have a lot of being proven wrong ahead of you because that means you got a lot of growth ahead of you, but if you're if your goal is to establish your rightness by proving that they are wrong is a path to collaborating and moving the conversation forward your info subdiscipline is just it's not good.

It's not that I have a happy ending for you and I think a legal release discount is not productive. It is counterproductive, I think, and I think that it it is and sometimes it can be destructive because they would become like you said before, went to the break being polarized a look at the country in the country is clearly very polarized and and so what we do about it and and I you can't look to Washington or any other political entity on down to fix this because Washington dispelled its it's the condition of the human heart and and so maybe just starts with one weary heart connecting to another weary heart is that you know enough's enough and brings back to the farm thing this yacht the way we get through this is because while I feel like one of the causes of of the polarization is the fact that we are increasingly isolated and we don't have a lot of other voices from different walks or or different political persuasions, oral different. Whatever different experiences and if we can combat the isolation we can do a lot of work on the other thing because you can make it personal and if we want to do better caught gardening friends. That's a good whale art when I was in your with when I was in Ghana. There's a castle on the coast of got it Kate Coast about three hours east of Accra.

The coast beautiful castle in this museum and you can go and see in the tour and you go down below and there's all the dungeons where they had the slaves that waited to be hauled out to take to the ships to come to America and other places and there were thousands and thousands and thousands of went to the edit town they would hold them in their just slammed in their hundreds at a time crammed into their with just filth and an almost ill just hardly any sustenance and and no light gets worse above that, in the castle. There's a chapel and they would conduct worship services in that chapel, but they would have the slaves be quiet down below so the people could worship undisturbed and nobody nobody saw that as a prophet. Yeah and and that is not the church. The church leaves the chapel and goes to the dungeon and then the dungeon becomes the church because that's what art our mission is is to stop insulating ourselves in our own comfort her own systems of of whatever makes us feel better, better Christians, we make me feel better is better, believers or whatever whatever it is that's were trying to do to make yourself feel better.

That's not the right goal and the better know it's not and we go into places in this world. The third part of this GPS comes in the grace, purpose and stewardship purpose. There's purpose that we have purpose to go into those those painful places to be elbows deep into painful places. If were not willing to do that this will never end.

This will never end.

Somebody has to leave the comfort and go into the discomfort and and equip each other to be stronger through. That's only way this is and is caregivers. I can say that the goal is never to feel better. Cannot be the goal was to be is to be better people and that comes from learning to be healthier not try to be happy, healthy, happiness will come helping. This is the goal, healthy caregivers make better.

Christina Roseburg. This is hopefully caregiver, hopefully caregiver.com check out our free podcast. It's all out there. Thank you for letting us be part of your serious family were to switch everything out to the podcast from here on out, so hope you check it out. Hopefully caregiver.com