#416 Expensive Real Estate For Family Caregivers

One of things I talk about here on the show is what can we do to equip you as a caregiver to stay strong.

I get emails in and I get phone call to see people around town when I go out and speak and so forth. And it's the same thing. You can just see it in their faces, I got a mailing from the slaves of the data just I want to just take a moment for this Roma heart of her husband. He's become disabled and and and just bitter and she's got children that she's trying to take care of and so forth, and a couple of them have some special needs going onto an and she's working three part-time jobs to try to keep it all on the rails. She is truly coming apart how you stay strong in the see how you function in this thing.

That's what I told her what I'll tell you what I tell myself looking upward to go real slow to take her time will take quick moment here just to catch her breath and then we look at playing for inches not miles. Don't try to throw those 90 your passes don't try to go there. Just as display for inches that's gonna be tough to estimate some of the most expensive real estate in the world is the real estate of your peace of mind that you're trying to together and it's not good to be easy because this is this happens over over a long period of time to erode your self-confidence and erode your identity, it erodes your ability to even think straight. Sometimes whether you're taking care of your parent where you stinker of a spouse is gotten better with her as a child with special needs. It doesn't matter if you been doing it for any length of time you understand exactly what I'm talking about. If you don't know what I'm talking about just wait as if you love somebody you gonna be a caregiver. If you live long.

If you need one.

I know this is very serious right now we have a lot of fun but when I would plan around and play all kinds of crazy music is try to give you one hour. That's all I have is one hour to give you a respite where you don't have to worry about thinking that you don't have to worry about.

Does he really understand what I'm going through.

You have to worry about being isolated. You can be a part of the community if it's only for justice. One hour it's all I got. But I'm give you all I got one hour to laugh, to cut up, speak in your own native language. So you have to worry about it. Do they understand. Yes, we do. I truly truly do what this lady is going through the that email me. I get been there, done that. Still there at times. For now, three decades, I get so what you do. How do you function and you go back to just very very small income that's I go back to what Col. Helm or Mel Gibson played a man in that movie we were soldiers. I've quoted many times before but is probably one of the best examples of how to deal with this is a caregiver when everything is flying around. I mean, when the grenades are going off when when bullets are flying when people are screaming at you and everything else with it.

The whole thing is just going to hell.

That's when you have to have that voice of authority that says okay look we're going to just take this creek bed were just gonna take this piece of real estate. This is all were going to do to stop working to secure this. That's it. And if you notice these guys were not while they're doing it.

If you ever see the movie that's it that's tough movie to watch but it's a great movie ever see it you'll see what I'm talking about. They weren't thinking about their taxes. They weren't thinking about this. This is this whatever they were trying to map out their future. Whatever they were living right there in the moment and give us this day our daily bread is a wonderful saying that to you have to live it every day and this lady that email me this week she's live in that every single day, every single hour. There's an old hymn says I need the every hour I mean the this is not something that you get a handle on.

You just go live your life right off of the sunset. You are trudging through peanut butter and it's going to be hard and it's going to be unpleasant and I want to give it to you straight because you deserve to hear it straight. Anybody else is going give you platitudes in hearts and rainbows and unicorns and lucky charms and clovers and all that, stuff really cares about that when your husband is is turning into it. Just a bitter, angry, abusive guy right there in front of your eyes. Plus he has health bombs in your head, cleaned up all the stuff and you had go work a couple of jobs and you get a kid with special needs. You don't need a Hallmark card.

You need a path toward sanity you have to do that alone. That's why I do this you