Woman Shares Her Struggle Caring for Husband's Ex Wife Suffering With Huntington's Disease

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As we talked about last week with you the were told to go with the report to back that there were giants in the land Johnson. There are things worthy of being afraid of this world.

That's why Scripture tells us over and over and over to fear and remind us that it's hard to see that it is hard to see that edits that's why we do the show is because we mutually help each other, remind each other these things anchor ourselves and work that muscle of faith and trust.

888-589-8840 888-589-8840 if you will be a part of the show. Texas good morning Terry how you feeling you know that a middle inventory. Most of these here so I think I'm okay. The sport what's on your heart right now taking care of your we can't know when I get a lot of wellness backup of Huntington's disease and basically with this.

I have worked with the HD community. Many times, and HD had a presence in my own family and my dad side and is a for those you don't know what eight Huntington's disease as it is a very very ugly disease that has all the heartache of Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and ALS wrapped up into one and it is genetic and it is fatal and it is a brutal disease. I don't I don't know how to advise you as far as what to do with it but I think there's there's the point where you make the decision am I going to compromise everything else. By doing this I don't know the dynamics go on with your husband's ex-wife and your taking care of her where's your husband in this.

Now how did how did this just out of curiosity, you don't feel like feel obligated to share it but just how did you come about taking care of your husband's ex-wife where mom and I can't remind me where I'm going now and how active is your husband working on finding somebody call night control of her trunk like I have is your husband.

What is your husband doing to solve this problem solver, but addresses okay but will these got you to do it for sounds like how's that working out for the how's that working out for you know not how's that working out married. I carry now and he's technically technically you're honoring the promise that he made to her while where you think this is going to go HD is progressive, but it's going to get worse as they get harder and your bearing the brunt of this week in and week out while he's out of town two weeks out of the year of the month right. I think it's time maybe that my opinion is irrelevant. Do you feel like it's time.

Maybe you and your husband had a different kind of conversation. If you must honor the promise that he made to her, that's fine. That's his decision to do that, however noble, that is, but that's not your responsibility. That's his responsibility. According to him, and it's what he's out of the house two weeks out of the month. HD is not HD doesn't take a vacation now and I would and I would imagine that you don't either and and so when he comes home. Does he help with all the things that you do okay. Well, there is that and but this is your life now weekend and week out and it's only going to get worse and I appreciate the fact that he wants to euro care for her not abandon her, but he kinda has put this on you. Sounds like to do your hear that you're the answer to this problem for him at least two weeks out of the month and I you feel comfortable with adamant is that sustainable for you. I yeah I and and I gotta tell you, Terry.

My heart hurts for you because I this is a this is a member. Hearing the present Huntington's disease Association say when I spoke with her conventions and she said it's a crappy disease. It it it really is it in for those you don't know it.

Try to imagine the magnitude of what this woman is doing and in the emotion.

She's doing taking care of her husband's ex-wife in this and what this can do caregiving and in a situation like this was somebody that you love that you are in a committed relationship with Ken strained the best of Boris to do it for your husband's ex-wife is to me it's it's beyond the pale and and I I applaud you for what you're doing.

I really do affirm that you are trying to do something extraordinary. I think you you have set yourself. We both know this is really unsustainable and in the face of this disease that is not going to get better.

The hard decisions are that I have to be made and go back to what we said okay.

That word is a lamp to my feet alighted to my pet.

I don't know how this is going to manifest itself out. All I can tell you is this is unsustainable. I could say that it is unsustainable HD is to beg for you to do this with only a two week reprieve every when he comes home and you've taken care of other people with cancer. You've done this thing. It is aging you the stress on you all these kinds of things and I II applaud both of you for not wanting to put her in a nursing home or she's abandon how I how far along this you have dementia now really really well and and as their son increases in his thing.

It's you know where this is going to go with him that and and you can be right back here in the same situation. In the end they could overlap in these are hard choices to make me really hard choices and I don't I don't castigate him. I'm not I'm not doing any of those things up to simply say in the reality of what you have put out here today is about as hard as it gets. It's about as hard as it gets, and you going to need some some real professional guidance on this on what this looks like to move. Do you have the resources to put her in a facility. Do you have the resources to have homecare. I can't tell you where to go with this think that would be appropriate and and that is punching above my weight class. I tried not to dispense advice I can just affirm. I think what your heart already knows this is unsustainable and this will cause you to go down some very, very tough places. Physically and emotionally and yeah and it's it's it's not going to get better next week will not see it improvement in this because we all know where this is going with her to question is how much time is it going to take and then what can be left of you in the process. Have you guys sit down with any kind of a counselor on this now. You think that might be a good idea and probably would do you know of somebody and give those who whose search do you have a treating physician neurologist involved in this. I would assume you do now.

Okay with last time you saw your doctor can maybe get a referral from your doctor. Somebody that you could sit down and talk with and cuddling the things that I see what your options are and how that may work in the in the coronavirus world. These decisions become even more painful and there there. They're not going to get less painful by just putting off next week and I think that for you. I really in my heart hurts for you because I know this is this is beyond about the first step is seeking seeking counselor to sit down and look at your option. What callback effects, they still want to get your information I will send you some theologians would get you okay we got take a quick break this hope Rosenberg will be right.

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Standing with hope when my wife Gracie gave up both of her legs follow this horrible Rick that she had as a teenager and she try to save them for years and if it just wouldn't work out.

And finally she relinquished him and thought wow this is that I'm not happy legs anymore. What can God do with that and then she had this vision for use in prosthetic limbs as a means of sharing the gospel to put legs on her fellow amputees and that's what we been doing now since 2005 was standing with hope. We work in the West African country of Ghana and you can be a part of that through supplies through supporting team members through supporting the work that were doing over there, you can designate Olympus all kinds of ways that you can be a part of giving the gift that keeps on walking and standing with hope.com would you take a moment ago understanding with hope.com and see how you can give they go walking and leaping and praising God. You can be a part of that@standingwithhope.com. This is just touch back something like four months with Terry in Texas. I I am. I have seen too much of the devastation of this disease and what she's dealing with is just percolating at that at best it is it is it is an excruciating task of what she's doing and the fact that they're facing it with her stepson down the road.

These are these are brutal brutal things and that is whether the show I can't offer advice I can say you should do this you should do this if I ever do that. I want you to stop listening to the show okay because I've gone off the rails. I I that is highly inappropriate for me to say that all I can do is speak to the train wreck consider heart as a caregiver, and the fear and the weariness and despair and even the resentment that lurks in those places and try to anchor spec of Scripture clear the room so that we can make healthy decisions that think in Terry's case that it's is the time for her to sit down with the train mental health professional who can look at this thing for what it is and give them viable options of how this is going to proceed. I think she already knows where this is going, and I think her husband knows and certainly I think your son stepson nose doesn't make it easier and so I'm also asking you all today to lift her up in prayer. Okay, you don't have to know all the scenarios you just go to the Lord on her behalf. Just like we do with the president just like we do with any one of these others put this put this woman on your prayer list. I don't know how many hundreds of thousands of people are listing on AFR right now but we could all live traffic for if I will do that right now, Lord, I just thank you for this woman who is selflessly doing this to take care of her husband's ex-wife. She's already done this through kit for cancer patients for previous test. Herb Herb her body and her heart. Her soul is weary. She's afraid she knows the reality of this disease and she's fighting this thing on multiple fronts and two weeks out of the month.

She's doing it by herself, we would ask for for her to be strengthened today for clarity as they make decisions hard decisions on what to do with the situation and that whatever decision they choose to make father that they do this with with clear guidance from your word and whatever path that you lead them on father that they had that assurance that you are guiding them in this that next right thing that you called him to do is the place for them to go and I know that there are people all over this network that are green with me in prayer right now about this and this is a hard place for this woman. And for this family fun and in wheat we recoil at the brutality of this world and that Harding that we have, but we also know that you did and you stepped into this and you took all of this on the and that even in this father you're working out something this extraordinary we just can't see it so we trust father we trust with with tears filling up at her eyes, knowing that this is this is not an easy thing to do, but you didn't shy away from reaching into the mess that is our sin filled world. You took this on yourself and asked that you infused Terry and her whole family.

With this level of courage and strength and wisdom. Father give them complete list of what to do about this about the situation and we thank you for that. In Jesus name Philip in Texas. Philip good morning, how are you feeling, Philip I doing excellent. There, the Lord had been neglecting me alienate and one thing I wanted to call and they about it for your encouragement left, but the house is having a great big pity party in you help bring me out of that after the lady that I cared for and finally passed away with needed more in heaven and she was here. I'm so grateful that I'm so grateful for the hope that the radio show and help bring through all the different things that I found out I think that you're doing a remarkable job encouraging people people bring imports Get through the mall.

We have relief that would have boilers. We are we're failing left and right in the Lord is righteous, including our help with thinking birds things like you people supporting angels I'm not angels stressing niceties and aware of it that you will know I'm I'm pretty aware pretty aware that I'm not an angel of death, I am.

I'm grateful to be passing on what I've learned in the things that people of invested in the me and I'm I'm highly convinced I'm no Angel on multiple levels.

Theologically, I just on other areas, but I do appreciate your call and appreciate the fact that the show was able to be a source of encouragement to you as you were dealing with some some tough realities yourself there what you doing now that your wife is passed away how you living your life what's what's what's that, well, it wasn't my my wife waited one woman up respected them out that we had been great friends for a long time family with like they reflect the national.

FBI.

She was really don't know give me her biography W what you're doing what I'm doing now and I am just now opening the shop and going to work my my wife when I got ill. She decided to divorce me on my home and I became homeless for a while there is actually living in my truck and utilizing the parking lot next door. You have a home email to yes I do have ground and you got it you get a career panel 52 year they should be retiring. I haven't had time to plan on retiring I have no plans to retire a little work through lunch.

On the day of my funeral and so I have I have had no place to retire. Definitely. But that's okay let me ask you question would you do me of wood you would you would you consider something for me.

Would you consider focusing from here on out only working on right now building up your business and your health in your life and your well-being and not taking on nonfamily members to care for for a season. Would you consider that my heart all which you could, would you consider that maybe the Lord is putting something on your heart to baby focus on not ever being homeless again and losing your business and so for the focusing on your business to not take on any more caregiving responsibilities for a season.

Not forever.

Just for a season. Would you consider that may be a better path for you yet. I believe that would be a better path that I'm taking a nap stating I have because from other not.

You're not in much of the positional care for people if you're homeless and right well on my helmet. Now that was my wife let me in that position and with the Lord help my way out of it. That is, that is great news. So you healthy caregivers make better caregivers and part of being healthy is being financially healthy, emotionally healthy, spiritually healthy, physically healthy. All of these things and so it may be a season now that this lady is passed away. Now that you've not homeless in your building. This may be a season for you to cut a tank up before you take on any more responsibilities that are not I were set of that of commitment and can give little David.

I said good morning.

Listen, I got a run here.

Thank you so much for the call Philip and Ed all the best to you. All right this is this part of her journeys. Caregivers is learning when to not overextend ourselves and get ourselves in situations where were obligated, or were somehow running to the rescue of people there a lot of sad situations out there that we can't always address it is not always appropriate for us to address and one of things I've learned as they have a Savior and I'm not that Savior have God bring something in my life that is clearly mine like in my situation. I'm married to woman who is not my covenant partner. She's my wife I'm going to care for her. I have parents that are elderly. Their listing right now. Yes, mom and dad. You are elderly you know I don't know if you consider yourself elderly but the rest the world does have parents who are elderly and I am commanded by Scripture to honor them into careful that's that's part of the journey is is family members but I don't have to overextend myself in this thing because what happens that I start completing the resources that I have and I end up compromising the care of the ones I'm charged with an invasive these important things for caregivers to learn. This is called stewardship stewardship and that's a word that we don't think about a lot in our in our society and our culture were $25 trillion in debt clearly are our government is not concerned stewardship and I want to end on that note, we talked about fear. Today we talked about trusting God of these brutal things we talk about God seeing us and seeing his power working in us. The last thing I just want to leave you fully go is understand the stewardship of what we have as individuals of our own health of our own well-being of her own clarity of thought, spiritual health and also as a citizen of this country. You have a stewardship responsibility to participate in the freedom of the democracy blessed to have this be a good steward.

Are you a good steward of the liberty something this is over. The caregiver hopefully caregiver.com will be a part of the show go out there right now. Spent some time looking what we have to offer and see if you can participate today. Whatever's on your heart to do grateful have you hope the caregiver.com