What Family Caregivers Can Learn From A.1. Sauce

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877-655-6755 877-655-6735. When you call you will hear that voice. That voice did you come to know and love.mod talk about the count of my disco John Butler hearing is everyone so much. It has been some that way speak with you, Gallic cow with really wrong. I high-stakes known for his day job as a stage of his.

His dad showed it's he's he's a genre you will. I am well well and that's that I'm asking the same thing. How you doing man well I had surgery and I've been recovering from it right right it's it's a bit it it barks at me a little bit. It's let me know that you've had surgery and you've also been limping around for two months and so is your knee correct my and so I've the dock said everything went well. It was no textbook got everything cleaned out the need to be done but you know I got it couldn't get this leg back in shape here and because I've been favoring that leg throws you can out of whack right some things about that. The some revelation that I've had about that precious, but I wanted to start off with something kind of different. Okay, well, everything which you it's not boring if we opened your refrigerator. John refrigerator what would we see would see well okay so I got this refrigerator from the I bought the house.

The refrigerator came with it and it functions just fine. Now there are things that need to be done about it. There the bands that hold things in the door shelves item was purchased. Okay okay the mechanics of the refrigerated items like for example John, if I asked you for a list of condiments within your refrigerator. Sure sure rattle off a few others, absolutely.

So Roger, I do like mayonnaise and miracle whip being a foul disappointment to all Southerners everywhere. I yeah and some Dijon mustard. I've got like two or three different kinds of mustard really like mustard sauerkraut accounts to condiment and some barbecue sauce and I've got and got some some spicy, like there's there's some I can what is called. It's basically like so Roger may all right hot sauce, mayonnaise, or something like that. I got I got a me in the overbite of the lo mein and in the grocery store. So now I do have catch-up but catchup is a garbage condiment and we can overlap with what we know we agree on the yes yes yes yes yes I can rattle off several common elements that I have lots of eggs, will I have one particular condiment in my refrigerator that caught my and I was label. It's right there. Now it never expires. I don't think it's A1 sauce.

I label on the label. It says established in 1862 and and I thought about that during the worst time in our nations history. I mean the worst time somebody said we need a better steak sauce in 1862 blood battling through 82 62. The bloodiest battle of the Civil War Took Pl. in September of 1862.

That was indeed the blood is okay. I was glad somebody during that year said we need a better steak sauce. The world needs more flavor and I thought about is our country is so divided that you know and we ought we were mortified and as a country that we've been since the Civil War. I think that's a fair statement to say when you say I think we need more people to step up and say we need more flavor and I want to be that guy would be that guy that says you want in the midst of all this chaos, we need a better steak sauce.

We need a nation of those guys you know we need a push towards that and I am reminded of that Scripture Matthew five Jesus said you you are the salt of the earth that if the salt loses its flavor.

It's thrown out and trodden about or whatever.

I forget the way the King James does it, but it's it it becomes useless and I thought about that for us as caregivers and I know so many caregivers that struggle with all the, the division and the heartache and the discord around them, and I thought can can we have that same attitude we have that same belief system that you know what the world needs more flavor and not by my world, my little tiny world as a caregiver needs more flavor what your thoughts on what like you say you were in the middle of this most divisive time and I'm speaking of when the Civil War when this this run ever with me. This some people might look at that and say that your priorities are to lock that there's way more important things going on and in the moment. They may have a point, but long-term. You still got A1 steak sauce in your fridge so somebody made a lasting decision in the middle of something that that that other people might say is not a priority will I've noticed that in every conflict in every disaster in whatever's going on. Still going to eat no sulks. There are some things of normalcy that are not ever eradicated in in virtually most scenarios, even in the most horrific. Now they may not be good things like you know you look at prison camp something such as that wear shoes, but they would still serve meals.

However awful they were right. Milder and and and so that, but the point is is that eventually the, the discord will will reach such a crescendo that it's unsustainable and there has to be a break somewhere or there would be some type of peaceable agreement or something but the point is, do you wait for all of it to be over before you aspire to normalcy or sponsor something better, or do you just simply accept all this is just go suck for a while and then we'll just have to just deal with this reality it and I just I just find that as a caregiver for that very intriguing that you what I don't have to wait for this to get better or worse for me to start finding things of value in the midst of this and that was what drew me to this A1 steak sauce thing that I thought this scam.

The Civil War had no sign of social slowing down about how somebody made a better steak sauce that has lasted you don't now.

Lo these many years of long after the nation reconciled like you said. I mean, you know, it outlasted and yeah you could you could make a target would listen. You need to be think about better things.

Well, maybe I am thinking about better things more able say it. You can pick up young people so you gotta pick your battles well, you can pick an awful lot of battles you know to bring a bigger mall but yet you can you can do more than one thing at one time, especially caregivers. Yeah okay can yeah yeah it it it it doesn't have to be the circumstances don't don't have to be perfect for us to sit down and have meaningful moments yeah and if we wait for them to be perfect even if her eating steak on the battlefield, you know, if we wait for them to be perfect were to be waiting a long time, but if we will accept the fact that even in the midst of a battle we can still have a meaningful moment of a meaningful meal or something and I think about that with caregivers because I talked to so many of them who were just beside themselves with angst and frustration and anger and resentment and rage and you know all the things that accompany the journey of a caregiver and can you stop for a moment and be flavor in the midst of that. Can you do this and and and if so what is that look like, how do you do it, how and when were were coming up on the holidays so this is having. We just had we just had one small it and if you're and if you're if you're a Catholic.

This is another one bites were coming up on the holidays and and that is a sometimes very difficult time for caregivers, but it's one that is very related to flavor and very related to a very human experience of being together with people that you live and being able to take that break and really breakeven, but just you know sitting with the feeling of normalcy was a word that flew out of my brain.

Those thinking of it that that you can divert some of the tension away now and mealtimes with caregivers can be challenging anyway. But when you get together the holidays you write the Thanksgiving and and and into Christmas and New Year's and so forth. But those that the holidays are stressful times on anything and is gotta be particular stressful with the coronavirus. Yeah, especially with Carl, and over again on the auto at all, but but with a caregiver distress is is just aunt beyond.

Sometimes the pale were already running from a deficit. What are some things we can do to bring flavor to the moment.

Even in the midst of the craziness and I think part of the first thing I it if you if you want to stay with the allegory of treating steak sauce is to let things simmer for a while. Sometimes it is just slowly, but I don't know how to make steak sauce but I would imagine that whoever's doing this. They're not cooking it rapidly in the microwave.

All the ingredients there letting things simmer slowly and the flavors all kind of merge together there there letting things just cut it slowly got you. I love a crockpot and also some hot dogs and low-down yeah I say and I say Cox I will love to cook just really III said I hide. I did make steak this weekend was fantastic. I made somebody off this weekend but I really love to cook and I can't tell people what the secret ingredient in most things is time not the spice. Although I can be. But the clock got gotta be patient with it.

Gotta let it sit. Yeah, you know, it took me two days to make a cheesecake last week because I didn't write you have to let the time. Work on. So if you did cheesecake it took you two days.

Imagine dealing with a fractured relationship fractured relationship and and I thought you know it was week we got to give it time we got it just not push it. Don't we don't need to put things in a pressure cooker.

We only live in one. Anyhow, I just I died I don't mean to overstate this metaphor. I really don't. However, it's a really good one because I want.

I still want to be that guy in the midst of whatever creases can I bring some some better flavor that's going to transcend the craziness that's going on around me. Sometimes it's music, which is a big part of my life. Sometimes it's learning to just be quiet you know, one of the ways we can add flavor to it is not to put too much stuff into it and will and it sometimes is not a lethargic way in and out.

I rarely have had to make amends for things that I don't say it happens but it's very very rare but but you don't. Sometimes the best flavor is the silence in the quiet, and you have talked about this before, that the great 60s 70s artists as she still around him is she doing is wrong to have a Joni Mitchell Arab of a quote she said to a bass player one time on the session. She said you have a marvelous use of space and I thought that was really good quote that we don't have to fill up everything with sound noise. We don't over salt. We don't have to over spice. Sometimes we can just moderation in this caregivers.

How about that maybe can we use that as a principal to be that guy.

This is in the midst of whatever craziness let me answer more flavor. Let me be positive in this and not just the same old conflict and think about will be back after the break open a caregiver dispute Roseburg along with John Butler caregivers but better caregivers basically start.

Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm Gracie Rosenberger, 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident, leading to 80 surgeries in both legs and became I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time the questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased in ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs. All of death is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength these visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others@standingwithout.com. I'm Gracie.

I am staining with help and hope I am so glad and you can get a copy that if you if you like what you hear if you like what you are a part of with the show review will sponsor the prosthetic limb outreach whatever he wanted to just good hope for the caregiver.com. Click on the donate button whatever's on your heart matter what what amount you decide will send you a copy of her CD, and I think you'll enjoy Gracie's and amazing singer and she has a powerful message through her music. She is indeed resilient. She's tough and 80 surgeries both of her legs amputated hundred doctors 12 hospitals. This been going on since 1983. So that's that is a tough gal right there in and she has an amazing voice so check it out hope for the caregiver.com were talking about any amazing work of his two by the way, so check it out. Masonry yes yes she does because of she was the one that envisioned the whole prosthetic limb out and so she she said she's tough you she's good. Gail and W all times.

We did want to go there. That was was necessary that was uncalled for.

That was called but it's my apologies are. It's all right is actually very cold for about were talking about being flavor, being part of us, others of the saying that we learn a martial arts if you not part of the solution you're part of the problem. You know, and I ice I stand by that.

I think that we could all be part of the solution and particulars. We watch the political climate in this country and there's so much discord there is so much angst going on and we all have our strong opinions.

I John this the first time I've ever heard Aikins unit with only consensus among the news media is on what industry to try the window whether you watch MSNBC or Fox or or whoever, Rush Limbaugh, whoever it doesn't matter no matter who you listen to that. I think they're all agree on one thing, the number of independence in this country has dwindled down to almost nil cited voters. They don't exist.

I don't think there around and in and so we all have a strong opinion of some level. But here's the reality. No matter who wins the election. If your caregiver today, you could be dealing with that caregiving reality the day after the election, and the day after that. The day after that and even after your loved one passes away, you still be dealing with that caregiving reality of how it's affecting life so why do you want to who you are, your personality and everything like that. Everything you are haircolor that I say that is white but but it so while why wait, let's go ahead and start and end this is preaching to myself here to because I need to be the flavor in my life I Gracie doesn't need me amped up on this or that with politics or that whether she needs me to be centered. She needs me to be clearheaded and thinking you know with with measured statements. I don't do this regularly, but she does what she now like to see me. You know I had others trying you know I think I'm getting better that I used to be, but that's that's the reality of our life is caregivers, and so by getting ourselves involved in drama that we don't need no we do our civic duty.

We sweetly vote and import them do the things we do but but we don't have to get out you can't get embroiled in some of these things because you're lucky to win when you know it's there's no there's no upside to getting into an argument right but I met Matt about this many times that you like. We we talk about priorities earlier and flavor should be more priority and everything. But you know when you get down to its there's like you said, there's whoever.

Whatever the results of whatever election were talking about.

It's going to affect caregivers very little in the short term. Now you can be long-term reasons and everything like that but it's starting to get up your statement.

Bring home the bacon frying pan you know and never let her forget about me and III that's not to change my life is nothing to change in that regards. And so I have to be a little bit more measured patient like as it was simmer and not boil and and as you said the best food of the really that the key ingredients were for most food preparation. This time, and an entity. I think it is for relationships you're going to have conflict. It's okay to let the air clear for little bit let cooler heads prevail in the same thing with our country were going to have to come together after this thing is a country we cannot stay divided in this capacity, as we have start having conversations with people maybe people that are on different sides of issues than we are and that's okay. You don't but we can to win hearts and minds you don't use a baseball bat. It's hard to break bread together when the restaurants and flames so we got we had to just dial it back a little bit and learn to try to see.

It may be from someone else's perspective if we don't end up not even if we are still not agreeing with him but to be able to see it from their perspective to be able to know why they are leaving the way that they believe everything like that is incredibly difficult, but also really, really important, and how does that relate back to being a caregiver form but also a different mindset.

Yeah, try to see it from someone else's perspective and and we caregivers by nature tend to be a little bit more empathetic that we discover caregivers. I get it, but you know that's part of our journey is, is also learning the sink so that we can be a bit more measured along the way and I think when we see things like this, it will be to try to understand or see the big picture it. It helps us and and realizes that it helps us realize okay this is a very broken world with all types of travails but go back to this thing here during the year of the bloodiest battle of the Civil War. Somebody had an idea for better steak sauce and I I I gotta tell you, I just want to be that guy you know and and in the midst of all this chaos were going through is a country where my fellow steak sauce makers where they found what were your fellow optimists is really broken to go with this like that is an optimistic thing to do, like bloodiest battle of the Civil War.

You know what this is going to be over at some point right I I have to believe this can be over at some point and we were still in have to eat them and we don't want to we want to eat rice cakes all day yesterday wants to meet and by the way I like a woman on a baked potato just that kind of weird but it it it and steak for us and steak fries not that's pretty good, but but that that's the whole point of this is a caregiver you know eventually were going to have to reconcile with some of the realities in our lives. We just can't change and we have to live life in the midst of an and and that's a hard thing and I remember him a lengthy conversation with a close friend of mine and one of the issues that I have struggled with John and I freely admit it is accepting reality and realities. A tough companion but it's not a Sprint man and I'm learning to make peace with certain things that I have to say goodbye to as a caregiver we all do, but as a human being we alter and but that doesn't mean I can't say hello to some wonderful new things is a caregiver as well.

These are lessons that I'm learning and I hope that's been important to you. We got more to go after the break John is going to bring his his wisdom to this as well and that we had a job as I I Rosenberger this is hopefully caregiver healthy caregivers make better caterers will be right back pay dispute. Rosenberger your help somebody walk for the first time I've had that privilege many times through our organization. Standing with hope when my wife Gracie gave up both of her legs follow this horrible Rick that she had as a teenager and she try to save them for years and if it just wouldn't work out. And finally she relinquished him and thought wow this is that I'm not heavy legs anymore. What can God do with that and then she had this vision for using prosthetic limbs as a means of sharing the gospel to put legs on her fellow amputees and that's what we been doing now since 2005 was standing with hope. We work in the West African country of Ghana and you can be a part of that through supplies through supporting team members through supporting the work that were doing over there, you can designate a limb. There's all kinds of ways that you can be a part of giving the gift that keeps on walking and standing with hope.com would you take a moment to go out to standing with hope.com and see how you can give they go walking and leaping and praising God. You could be a part of that@standingwithhope.com as a caregiver.

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