To Marry or Not to Marry B

So we are to get married then because if we don't go to put ourselves in a terrible place of temptation, but that doesn't mean that you run out without really considering doing Mary the first available person just so you don't get in trouble you will be in more trouble and then you sex marriage. Note maybe some of the people you know figured that the changing views about marriage are not exactly earth shattering and they think maybe it doesn't really matter who a person Mary's orb even if they get married at all well today on grace to you. John MacArthur will show you why it is still crucial to have a biblical view of marriage whether you're married or not, stay here as John MacArthur continues the study. He calls restoring marriage. Now I want to look at will look at the seventh chapter, I want to look at four key ideas that appear in the first seven verse they deal with the whole problem of whether to be celibate or Meriwether to be single America number one celibacy is good.

Verse one now concerning the things about which you wrote on to me.

It is good for a man not to touch a woman. So verse one is saying is good not to have a sexual relationship. Any simply saying is good to be single.

He does not say it is the only good is also good to be married is simply saying it isn't evil to be single you're single. It's good not bad not evil is not wrong. It's good, but .2 celibacy is not only good, it's tempting. And this is usually the complaint of single people yeah I understand it's good, it's just really hard to be single very difficult verse to nevertheless, even though it's good on account of their moralities, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman ever owners now does the command let every woman have her own husband. Let every man have his own wife. Those are commands. He says everybody get married, it's good to be single but everybody get married.

Why on account of what immorality listened. Being single is good, but it's tempting, it's tempting in the gross style of Corinthian life made it harder for the unmarried to be pure just like it does in our day.

You know so many unmarried people have problems today because of the constant barrage of sexual temptation being thrown now is not saying that that marriage is the absolute demand for everybody. He is saying.

The norm is everybody gets married because it is normal physical desire and I'll show you how this works in a minute you say well polisher got a rotten view of marriage. Marriage is just so you don't get in trouble if you got a lot of desire find anybody just so you don't get in trouble just anybody. Mary's hours. You know he's simply answering one problem is simply answering the argument that everybody should be single by saying everybody can't be single are you going to get into immorality because it desires to strong the norm is everybody has his own wife. Notice the word own prohibits polygamy and Everywoman have her own husband. That's God's design. Now you save it is that the only reason to get married know I got six reasons to get married. The Bible six biblical reasons for marriage all start with a P ready number one procreation Genesis 128 says, be fruitful and multiply.

It was have children. That's one reason to get married, have children and that's a good reason to get Mark God wants to reproduce especially godly people. Secondly, pleasure. Another reason to get married is pleasure. Did you know that God designed marriage just for physical pleasure just to enjoy.

Hebrews 13 for the bed is on the file. In other words, it's an enjoyable experience. Marriage is honorable marriages enjoyable.

Proverbs 5 talks about the satisfaction that a husband finds in the physical body of his wife and vice versa.

Song of Solomon from beginning to end. All this is physical satisfaction is pleasure you read in the Bible about one of the Old Testament patriarchs boarding with his wife.

I was like that and that's part of it.

That's part of the married situation pleasure. So, procreation, pleasure. Thirdly, marriages provision. Another reason for marriages provision God wants a man to provide what a woman needs the woman says Peter in first Peter three is the weaker vessel and God knows that a man can support the weakness of a woman. God wants the man to provide for the woman to nourish her Ephesians 5 says to cherish her to strengthen her to give her something to lean on to fortifier so it's procreation it's pleasures provision. It's also partnership marriages for partnership in the Old Testament God says you need a helpmeet right. You need a helper you don't need to do things alone. You need a helper. And so it is for partnership God gives us a friend and I think really the key ingredient in marriage is friendship, a partner forth marriages a picture marriage is given as a picture. Ephesians 5 says it is a symbol to the world of God's relationship to his church, and lastly marriages for purity to keep us from committing fornication. So marriage is for procreation pleasure provision, partnership, picture-in-picture was of the reasons the Bible gives him.

Paul wasn't only simplifying everything to this. He just dealing with one aspect so we are to get married then because if we don't go to put ourselves in a terrible place of temptation, but that doesn't mean that you run out without really considering what you're doing. Mary the first available person just so you don't get in trouble you will be in more trouble in than you ever thought you were in. But that's just one of the reasons don't just marry for the sake of purity. If you're not also marrying for the sake of pleasure if you're not also marrying for the sake of of the picture of Christ and his church, and your attending on nourishing and cherishing her etc. etc. so marriage is the norm. Celibacy is good, but let's face it, celibacy is also tempting third point celibacy is wrong for married people say will that's obvious.

Well, I don't how obvious it was to the Corinthians that Paul had to spend three versus clearing up verse three leaving the background. What happens is here's the Corinthians.

They get saved and immediately say order for us to be totally set apart to God to stop all of our physical relationship. Some overzealous husband decide he's going to give all of his devotion to God and says I'm not can I do anything physical with you anymore dear or some overzealous wife says I'm not totally committed to Jesus Christ. I can't have anything to do with you, especially since you're not a Christian. I want the thing to do with you physically and that's what was happening in Cora, so how you deal with verse three. Let the husband render to the wife.

The translation is the debt let the husband render unto the wife.

The debt and likewise also the wife under the husband look you have an obligation in your marriage to give to one another. What you will one another.

This is a debt you are a debtor mend your wife ladies you are a debtor to your husband even if he's a non-Christian, you owe him a debt marriage has its obligations friend you are to pay your debts to one another, fulfilling your duty to one another, pay what you owe present imperative in the Greek continuously rendering to the wife the debt, and likewise the wife continuously rendering to the husband.

The debt and what is the debt I think is talk about physical sexual relationship. What he saying is left now you're a Christian doesn't change that you continue in marriage to fulfill the sexual desires of each other. I believe that's what he's talking about here, but simply because that's the context that immediately follows most legitimate. She God made the physical great part of marriage I know there's some Christian people who even in their marriage a very prudish and and I don't want to shock you. I just want to show you what the Bible says, but in marriage your union physically can be expressed in any way that you want. This is God's design for the fulfillment of pleasure. The Bible glorifies. In fact, the book of song of Solomon is a whole book written just on the physical part of Mary God designed marriage to be the physical expression of lab he honors the sexual desire of marriage. So Paul is saying you have an obligation to one another to fulfill the physical desire and the physical love and the physical need that each other mutual sexual love and marriage is God's design at your duty to one another is a vehicle for the expression of that love. And you know the very act of sex itself strengthens that love.

So Paul says pay your debt to one another. Verse four here explains it further. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband and likewise also the husband have not power of his own body, but the wife, now two imperatives in the preceding verses are followed by two indicative here, the state facts pay your dues one another.

Why because you have release the authority over your body to your partner look adverse for the wife has not existing authority over her own body, but the husband ladies. Your body belongs to him. Mend your body closer. That's right, for whatever particular expression she has in mind or you have in mind that sharing is the thing that God designed and it's a present tense. Incidentally, here lifelong. The wife continually lifelong does not have authority over her own body, so when you say to your wife dear your mind, and she says to you, honey. Your mind you, that is the truest thing in the purest sense that you could say right out of the word of God. You can quote this verse to each other in its fullness and know that God supports that desire that you have for one another.

Now in the simple since the wife's body is her own as God is given to her in a spiritual sense. It is the Lord's. According to Romans 12 one present your body but in a marital sense, the body belongs to the part and the same is true, the man a beautiful way to express the sharing of merit. The physical I am for you and you ever meet. If you need me, then I am yours and if I need you, then you said don't break up your marriage because you became a Christian there is any high-level sanctity to celibacy, it's good to be single but listen, it's great to be married if that's what God's given you don't violate that he's given you the gravy man if you're married Peter because of the grace of life. What he means. It's the whip cream on the Sunday is the gravy the grace of life.

Life is great. Life is abundant life abounds for the Christian, but the gravy is to get Mary exciting marriage.

That is a permanent surrender of everything I am to my part, I am hers, and absolutely the fullest and truest eye goes a step further and he makes an application verse five stop depriving one the other night here with these people depriving each other of the physical relationship. Well, I'm sorry dear.

Now that we belong to the Lord. We must do that, no, no.

Stop doing that, except it be with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to prayer and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your lack of self-control. Nice is look there may be times when you agree not to have physical relationship because you want to pray you have decided to pray, that's the exception.

He said now I give you some guidelines they really are they If one of not enter into sexual activity, physical activity, here are the guidelines number one except it be with consent. You have to have a mutual agreement, the word with consent is the Greek word that is the source of our word Symphony unless your hearts are in Symphony abstention is in voluntary on the part of one then forget it because if you force a withdrawal if you force in abstention from the physical that's robbing the partner unless there is mutual consent and notice this for a time, not for a long time but a set time, not indefinitely, but a prescribed time we are going to pray for this next five days dear and were going to agree to this because God is laying on our heart a burden to give ourselves that that's a time notice and it is to be prayer, fasting is not in the better manuscript.

It's not that to be part of the prayer time, but doesn't seem to be any earlier manuscripts you give yourselves to prayer. Now this should be mutual agreement, it isn't. You know when your wife whisper sweet nothings in your ear and you say don't bother me I'm praying that isn't the idea the ideas when you've agreed to pray about a specific thing. There's a definite article in the Greek deep prayer, indicating there was a definite specific continuous kind of burden, and what may happen in your life in many of the experiences probably all of us that is that there comes in your life a great spiritual reality. A great spiritual struggle or something that you recognize is a tremendous need and and you lose the desire and the craving for the physical and you become lost in the struggle of the spiritual and seeking out the will and the revelation of God's plan that becomes the consuming think that may happen many times in your life when you fall under sin and you go through a time of purification in your heart need to be given over totally to the Lord.

If that's the case then you need to withdraw from the physical relationship for a while. This was done in history. Exodus 1915. For one place, the Mosaic covenant had been given God. One of the children of Israel to straighten their hearts out and get right with him. So I said come not near your wives Exodus 1915. Separate yourself physically for a time, talks about three days for a time of purification and concentration on the things of the Lord in Zachariah the future when our Lord comes in the great day when he arrives in the world and the Jews realize who they have slain in the past. It says in Zachariah 1210 God is gonna pour on the house of David and on the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the spirit of grace and supplication.

They will look on me whom they have pierced male mourn for him as one mourns for his only son, etc. etc. and it says let verse 12 it says let every family be a part of the family, the house of David apart their wives apart. The family of Nathan apart. The family of Levi have semi-all the families it remade every family apart and their wives and that great time of morning and spiritual concentration separation, so there may be times mutual consent for prayer, a greater desire for spiritual things takes over and that physical falls will but notice the end of verse five and then come together again. Let it be only for that time of prayer. Temporary why simply because of this that Satan tempt you not for your lack of self-control.

Listen, you know there are people who use the sexual aspect of marriage I mean so many do to manipulate what they want. Well you know if the husband doesn't do everything the wife wants.

That's it. Manning always on the couch or if the wife doesn't do everything he wants. He couldn't care less meaning bother with her and the husband knows just exactly what he has to do to get the right response so he doesn't like sort of like a poor little puppy dog who has to do what he has to do in order to get what he has to get listen when you withhold from your partner for any reason you put that partner in a place where Satan will tempt them for their lack of self-control.

The first thing that happens is not only the bitterness and the anguish and anxiety that comes between the two but then the evil thought that comes into the mind and then the entertainment of the evil thought and very often it can lead to an adulterous situation.

Any time you withhold from your partner. That which is rightfully theirs.

You become the agent of Satan. You say you love your wife men women you say you love your husband and don't ever put your husband or wife in a situation where they are open to the temptation of Satan simply because your selfish is right… Practical step. This gets right down to where we live right where were at.

That's the way the word of God is if I say I love my wife, if you say you love your husband. If if that's really true, then you would never willfully openly put that person in a place where Satan begins to tempt them to carnality. Sometimes you know we deal with people in the church and friends we wonder why it has to have so much trouble walking in the spirit and maybe the reason is because they are so frustrated physically in their own marriage that they are constantly being bombarded with thoughts of this is not fair.

You're not only robbing that person you're putting them in a place of temptation and you become an agent of state celibacy is good. Good thing be single but it's tempting and thoroughly done belong for merit for this sums it. Celibacy is a gift. It is a gift definitely and some have it and some don't.

And the ones who don't find it very frustrating.

Notice verse six, but I speak this by permission and not by commandment. I say what is that mean well probably the word permission is not a good translation word in the Greek means in its verb form to think the same as someone to think the same as someone in extra-biblical writings.

For example, in second Maccabees 1431 the same word is translated aware it means awareness. Paul is saying. I'm saying what I'm saying because I am aware of your human needs, not as a commandment. In other words, when I said let everybody get married. I don't mean that I am commanding you all to get married. I'm simply laying this out is the norm because I'm aware of your human need.

Look, he says don't you people be celibate.

Celibacy is a good thing but get married and when you get married, fulfill your marriage and I'm not commanding that you have to get married, but because I am aware of your needs. I'm suggesting this is the best thing and the only reason you should not get married and fulfill that is verse seven.

I would that all men were even as I myself but every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, another app that lets face it, he says I wish you could all be like me and not have to be married, but this is a gift. I happen to have it you may not. Here's a beautiful thought people while marriage is not a command is stressed as the norm because of the problem of staying pure and within marriage. The physical should be continually dealt with in fulfill in order to keep that pure, it is best to be married, but there are some he says, like me, and I wish there were more who don't have to be married because they have a special gift of God. Next time you see a single person.

Don't assume in your mind. There's something warped about them.

Don't assume poor soul must have bad breath or socially unacceptable personality traits.

Don't assume that you might assume first of all, that maybe they have a charisma of God that they are uniquely prepared and design human being gifted with the Holy Spirit and gifted by the Holy Spirit for singleness.

I have a gift several spiritual gifts.

So do you. Well here is another spiritual gift that perhaps could be added to the list in a little different since and that is the gift of being single also sure it's the norm to marry. I wish you could all be like me single Paul. Why would you want to be like you man alive. I couldn't stand being single, ask if you have the gift. What is the gift follows the gift to be single and not be consumed by lust.

You see, it is the gift is just being single. That is in the gift to some people. That is torture. The gift is being single and loving it. The gift is being single and not being tempted. The gift is being single and not being preoccupied with not being single.

That's the gift and pauses. Hey, I'm not married and I don't need married or maybe was once in his life but he is now God, since he was saved gave him the gift of celibacy the gift to be single and never need a woman second measurement know because if you don't have the gift. You can omit. I can imagine you know that I've often thought to myself.

I love my wife. You know, totally, completely in my kids. I would have it any other way but you know, I can understand what Paul says Mrs. I wish you to be single. There are some things in the ministry that a single man could really do that a married man can't look at verse 32 of the seven chapter I would have you without Jeremy would've been if you never care if he if he that is unmarried, cares only for the things of the Lord, but verse 33. If you're married, you care for the things that are of the world. What value please your wife gets right down you know if you're married, let's face it, you've got certain things you have to care about you got prepare and you gotta take care of you gotta give time your kids in time your wife men. If you're single sometimes I think, wouldn't it be amazing, you just move and just before he got is given some people this marvelous, marvelous gift on her forget meeting missionaries always think runaround down in the jungle from one Indian fiber.

The next totally alone without any need for marriage. The gift of celibacy. Your life is absently fulfilled in pouring a solvent of these people and there'll there are people like that around the world. What a unique and blessed gift and it comes from God but not everybody has it. So Paul says to the Corinthians were some people be single if you have a gift of God, for it and you can be single and not be preoccupied with sex, but the norm is be married and stay married. Jesus even said the same thing. Jesus talked about the fact that being single is a good thing he didn't disparage it in Matthew 19, listen to this. He says there are some eunuchs who were so born from their mother's womb, and there are some eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake, that is, people who have decided not to marry so they can serve the Lord. He that is able to receive it, let him receive, I mean if you're able. Jesus said in Paul further defines it as a gift of the Holy Spirit you know to be single means you can do certain things that you otherwise could do and God needs single people think God if you're single and have no desire from her.

That's a gift of God use if you're married, you got the gravy on life lived.

Enjoy. One is 11 is choice as to the Corinthian church was every man has his most of you be married statement fulfill the physical part of don't abstain from except for a brief time of prayer you that are single. If it's single and without desire for fulfillment in marriage single and totally given over the Lord and loving it.

Then thank God for the beautiful gift so he lays the principal celibacy is good.

Marriage is good, just depends on which God designed that's John MacArthur, Chancellor of the Masters University in seminary laying out a biblical view of marriage showing you how to honor Christ in your relationship with your spouse. He calls his current study restoring marriage of the series is highlighting the blessings of marriage reasons Christians should honor the institution and Jon, I imagine there are single men and women listening today who want those blessings but they're not sure they're ready for marriage. So what about that how can someone know for certain that he or she is properly prepared for marriage. That is a big question, but what I've always taught to young people. Is this the most important thing is not finding the right person. You hear people say I just can't find the right person.

I can't find the right person.

The most important thing is to be the right person so that the right person can find you. I thinks this this culture has postponed marriage because of protracted immaturity in adolescents people not wanting to get serious take on serious responsibility and face the know the rigors as well as the joys of a marriage union and so what happens in that kind of setting is people are looking for some perfect person and therefore more conscious of the person they're looking for. Very often, than the person they are so much my instruction to people has always been the same.

You just make sure you are the right person you're walking in the spirit you're demonstrating love, joy, peace, jealous goodness, faith, meekness, self-control, that there is that there is a mark of the Holy Spirit's work in your life that's visible and manifest that your humble that you're serving that your inner strength and inner masculinity. Your inner beauty is is manifest be the right person and first of all, you'll be content. And secondly, the right person that God has for you will recognize you so look at your own life and start there right thank you, John. That's good advice. Another friend John's current study comes from the book of first Corinthians, and epistle with a lot to say about marriage, and many other crucial doctrines.

So, let me suggest you pick up John's commentary on first Corinthians. It clears up confusing passages and shows you how to apply this biblical teaching to your life to pick up your copy, contact us today. Call us toll-free at 855 race or log on to Jide TY.org the first Corinthians commentary costs $19 as do all the volumes in the MacArthur New Testament commentary series, or if you'd like to purchase all 34 volumes. You get a big discount again to order the first Corinthians commentary or other volumes in the set or the entire commentary series, call us at 855 race or go to Jide TY.that's our website one more time.

Jide TY.org and while you're at the website.

Be sure to dig into all of the study tools you'll find there. For example, the four daily devotionals written by John make it easy to nourish yourself with biblical truth that is a great way to start your day. You can also listen to what John is currently preaching at his home church was all free resources and there are many others available Jide TY.now for John MacArthur and the entire Greece. Do you staff, I'm Phil Johnson encouraging you to take some time and watch Reese to you television this Sunday on DirecTV channel 378 or check your local listings for channeling times and then join us tomorrow for another 30 minutes of unleashing God's truth one verse at a time on race to you