God's Pattern for Children, Part 2 B

God has established what is right and apart from God. You can't know what is right and the only way you can raise your children right to raise them according to the word of God. So we teach our children what is right.

We call them to obedience as if they were playing because we are passing. His word is real. You asked that question in a survey you get answers like a good education, positive encouragement, unconditional love, no, those things are all good things there, even necessary things, but none of them addresses the most important issue for children, namely their need for salvation. So how can you raise your kids so that as much is it depends on you.

They will commit their lives to Christ.

Consider that today on grace to you as John MacArthur continues his study, the fulfilled family. Now here's John with a look at God's pattern for children God has established what is right and of course that's a major component in the problem today. The parents have is they don't know what is right. There is no moral standard as we been learning when these parents come through university education. They're basically taught, there is no right and then how can you teach your child what is right. If there is no right all you can try to do is keep your chin from irritating you.

God has established what is right and apart from God.

You can't know what is right. Nehemiah 913 says God gave right ordinances true laws and good commandments. Psalm 19. Eight says the statutes of the Lord are right, Psalm one 1975, says the judgments of the Lord are right. First, 128.

I esteem all thy precepts concerning all things to be right in Hosea 14 nine says that the ways of the Lord are right.

Romans seven the law of the Lord is perfect. Paul adds holy right and good and the only way you can raise your children right is to raise them according to the word of God. So we teach our children what is right. We call them to obedience as if they were obeying the Lord because we are passing his word, his will to them. We not only do it by verbal instruction. We not only do it by reading to them. We do it by modeling it in our own obedience to God. And of course if you try to teach it and don't limit the confusion is devastating. So we teach them to obey. We teach them to obey because it's right and you see we have an unusual relationship to our children listen to these thoughts. The child's relationship with God is mediated through the parents. That's how God designed the child will eventually grow away from the parents and come to a direct relationship with God through Christ.

But while that little child is small, their relationship to God comes through us.

When a child disobeys his parents.

He is for all intents and purposes, disobeying God when a young person repudiates his parents. She's repudiating God.

This is tremendously serious. A child who fights against his natural rebellious tendencies and submits to his parents is submitting to God. And this brings wonderful blessing.

Tell your children tell them not just say I want to obey me because I told her to, and I'm tired of telling Tom I want you to obey me because in obeying me your obeying God and obeying God means you're going to be blasts and tell them obey me because if you don't obey me. It is disrespect shown the God whose will I'm instructing you in and if you disobey God, you will bring upon your self serious judgment chastening tremendous concept, children need to understand it, but how they respond to you is how they respond to God himself. They need to understand the implications of their disobedience because their relationship with God, which is a special relationship defined by Jesus, who lifted those little ones up and touch them and bless them. They are special to God, but his relationship to them is mediated through you. His parents, they need to understand that they need to know that their greater accountability is to God, but they manifest that through their obedience to you. It also from your viewpoint is apparent, takes out the arbitral arbitrariness doesn't it can't just be firing off all kinds of commands to your children unless they substantiate some biblical principle I think the story of Absalom in second Samuel 13 to 18.

The story of a rebellious son.

His father David, of course, was hardly a perfect father had failed to discipline his son. He had failed to discipline Absalom so what did he get he got a rebellious son either his mother or father taught himself control Absalom's half-brother Amnon followed his father David's evil example of talking about David's sin with Bathsheba. David did that so Amnon's son followed his father's example and rate Absalom's sister team are second Samuel 1113 and David did nothing about it. David did nothing about it. Absalom wasn't happy that his half-brother had raped his sister so he killed Amnon, but he learned that from his father, who killed Uriah the Hittite will David finally acted out of fear of Absalom, not out of fatherly concern, but rather out of fear and exiled Absalom and still refused to deal with the situation until he was forced to do so. David was a weak, ineffectual father and Absalom had reasons to be hostile and out of control and angry. But in spite of what reasons he Absalom should have submitted to David should have done what was right.

He didn't. So in spite of a failing father God killed Absalom, just as God had said he would do to rebellious children talking about a very serious issue.

Teaching your children obedience.

Also look at verse two. The responsibility to teach your children respect and honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

You're not only dealing with action here in the regard of obedience which are dealing with attitude here in the respect here honoring Exodus 2012. Honor thy father and mother that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God gives the clue back to the commandments. Honor your father and mother not only obedience on the outside but obedience from the inside. Obedience based on respect and reverence and honor, not selfish will be obedience, not a bitter obedience, not a non-willing, resentful, or fearful obedience, but a loving, respectful obedience. The word honor. There from the verb tomato means to value at a high price to value value. Your father and mother put a high price on numbers realize how valuable they are to you children understand how how great a treasure they are.

This is the first commandment with a promise. It is the fifth of the 10 Commandments Exodus 20 but it is the first commandment dealing with human relationships. The first four deal with one's relationship to God and there is promise, there, but this is the first of the commandments that deal with human relationships and among those commandments. The first one with the promise and the promise that it may be well with you, that you may live long on the earth.

You want a happy life wonderful life, obey your parents, your children need to know that your children need to be taught that you don't hold that back you say will it might them. It might frighten them.

That's that's fine if it's balanced off with the security and affirmation and love that you give to them in the name of the Lord.

They will understand. It is absolutely essential however that they know that God promises blessing and long life to those who obey him, and that that obedience is mediated through their parents single. Why is this commandment the commandment with a promise of all the commandments regarding human relationships.

Why is this so important because beloved. This is the heart of all relationship.

This is at the core of the family. This is at the core of the family. Therefore, it is at the core of the church. Therefore, it is at the core of the society, both of which are made up of families, a generation of undisciplined, disrespectful, rebellious, disobedient children will destroy families, churches, nations, and when you have a disobedient disrespectful child.

It is a tragedy in many ways, and a terrible grief.

Listen to what it says in Proverbs a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother bitterness to her that bore him some of you women know that and you know it well. Not only agrees to the mother but listen to what it says regarding the father. He that begets a fool does it to his sorrow, the father of a fool has no joy. Proverbs 19 says he is a calamity to his own father. He who assaults his father chases away his mother is a shameful and disgraceful son is a grief. The mother agrees to father a disgrace to parents humiliation to the whole family a distress to the church and a burden to society. It all starts all the wholeness of relationships start right there and I take you back to Deuteronomy 2118 to 21. If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and that when they have chastened him, will not listen to them, then shall his father and his mother lay hold of him bringing him out under the elders of his city. Under the gates of his place and they shall say unto the elders of his city, this our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice.

He is a glutton and a drunkard. By now you can tell he's at least a teenager and all the men of the city shall stone them with stones, that he die things life. Why, because the infection of this in the nation's devastating and infection which we experience. Even at this time. So says Deuteronomy 2121 you shall put away evil from among you, and all Israel shall hear and fear.

See, God knew the preservation of that nation was bound up in the parenting process. The obedience of children turn to first Corinthians chapter 7 and let me digress because there's an issue there that you may come across in wonder about somebody says welcome children are to obey their parents and they come to this passage, and maybe get confusingly read verse 36 to 38.

Make a comment or two. First Corinthians 736 if any man thinks he's acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter if she should be of full age and if it must be so let him do what he wishes. He does not sin. Let her marry, but he who stands firm in his heart being under no constraint but has authority over his own will and has decided this in his own heart to keep his own virgin daughter. He will do well.

So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well in you does not give her in marriage will do better what you appear to see here is some conflict.

Father wants to keep his virgin daughter single and a virgin daughter who wants to be married and verse 36 tells the father letter be married so the question comes up to wait a minute, is she free to countermand her father's well and do what she wants to do. And in this situation, but me explain the scenario in Jewish culture, parents, and particularly fathers were in the unique and dominant role of deciding who their children would marry was a father's decision as it always should be the same general because I say that tongue-in-cheek as you understand the same general custom prevailed in many other societies in certainly included that of Rome. In fact, some historians if you've read any of the history of Rome. Some historians credit rooms decline in part to the weakening of the family and they say the family began to be weakened when the parents stopped arranging marriages in New Testament times.

The arranged marriage was the norm now in light of this teaching about the advantages of singleness, which is what the first Corinthian seven section is talking about.

They had learned that being single could be an advantage. You could serve the Lord and honor the Lord, and you were distracted by marriage and a family and and it was a wonderful thing to be single for the Lord and saw some well-meaning fathers who would come to Christ and were all excited about the prospect of serving the Lord had dedicated their young daughters to the Lord to be single sort of dedicated them as permanent versions.

But when the daughters reached marriageable age. They had a different idea. Some of them wanted to be married and their fathers were sort of in a quandary about should they break the vow they made for their daughter.

It is likely that many of the girls did not have the gift of singleness and were struggling with their natural desire for a man they wanted to get married. Their desire was to get married, but they also desire to please their father and to please the Lord in the problem then was brought up to Paul in the Corinthian letter, Paul simply says this. If the daughter wants to get married. Letter get married if it must be so verse 36 you're free to let her marry.

It's all right you had good intentions when you made the promise, but if she needs to be married, but her marry. But verse 37 and 38 discuss the girl who doesn't really need to be married and you as a father can stand firm. There's no constraint on you.

You're not under constraint verse 37. That means you don't have your daughter pull in on your pant legs and please daddy release me from this thing.

I want to get married so. In either case, whatever is the desire of your daughter's heart. With regard to marriage is acceptable to God, so I only want to mention that passage because I know some people brought it up and said well yes I know were supposed obey and honor our parents, but there may come a time when we we are needing something in it might be against the will of our parents, we feel it's right for us. What do we do, and there's a perfect illustration when you reach that age if it needs to be so let it be so, and you may bend to the wish of your child.

At that point, and certainly that's illustrative of other points. I don't think parents for the rest of a child's life have some kind of demagoguery some kind of autocratic authority and control over them when they express their needs within the framework of God's purposes were free to let them follow those needs and heart desires well, let's go back into Ephesians verse three that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

This is tremendous. Two things it says there will be a quality of life and the quantity of life, but it may be well with the that's the quality of life full, rich, joyous, happy, peaceful, rewarding life that general qualitative blessedness. I really believe that folks, I am convinced that this is exactly what Scripture is saying by look at my life and my life is blessed, blessed and blessed abundantly, and I look at Patricia's life and the life of our children and I believe that in great measure. Of course that is related to obedience. That is the fulfillment of the promise of God not only quality but quantity of life.

Life it says here will be long on the earth. What is that mean well I think you could interpret three wonderful ways. First, physical. I think you live a full life, I don't think your life will be cut short as lives are cut short by soon disobedience you live the full life God planned. Secondly, you live a millennial life. If you follow your parents to the faith in Jesus Christ will come back for a thousand years on the earth and even ultimately live in the internal new heaven and new earth.

The plan is clear. Children obey children, honor, and God will bless you and God will let you live a full, rich life. The alternatives tragic. I close with his the child was born on November 12, 1934, born to 16-year-old Kathleen Maddox.

He was entered into the ledgers as no name Maddox was a classic abuse child left by his mother four days during the first years of his life in 1939, his mother was arrested for armed robbery and sentenced to five years in the penitentiary when she returned no name was eight years old. His life became a long line of rundown hotels and brutal uncles came to live with his mother and drank heavily when he was 12. His mother tried to place him in a foster home, but since one wasn't available.

He was sent to the group to the cobalt home for boys in Indiana. It was the first in a long line of progressively more restrictive institutions.

After 10 months at Gibraltar. He ran away, but his mother rejected him. He then drifted into a life of crime. At 13 he was caught for armed robbery and sentenced to an institution from which he escaped. At 16 he had a long series of crimes under his belt. Finally, in federal prison.

He was homosexually attacked and raped at 17 depressed a razor blade against a fellow inmate's throat and sodomized him. He was transferred again and again classified as dangerous with a long record of violent activity. Finally, at the age of 33 he was released from terminal Island prison in California against his wishes he had become obsessed with the satanic. He told his jailers the prison was his only home no name Maddox is better known as Charles Manson, somebody's tender baby who became a monster.

The worst case scenario, the best case scenario is given to us in the truths of Scripture teach your child about God and his law all the time make him conform to that law when he doesn't punish them physically do all of that in an environment of the sweetness of the love of Christ and your children will be your joy. Father, thank you for the instruction which you give to us so practical, touching every aspect of life.

Lord, thank you again for wonderful parents, godly parents, precious children and grandchildren.

Or, thank you for enriching our lives for making our family.

Such havens of joy, sweetness. Thank you, oh Lord, thank you in saving us for teaching us these things so our homes could be such happy places such wonderful places.

Lord, may we continue to be faithful. May our children be faithful that we might raise up a godly generation and enjoy the blessing, enjoy the quality and quantity long years of loving relationships bring us such fulfillment. Bless our children may we all be faithful to bring them to you but you might bless them truly with the grace of Christ, in whose name we pray.

You're listening to Grace to you. The Bible teaching ministry of John MacArthur.

He's chancellor of the Masters University in seminary in Southern California and his current study is titled the fulfilled family thinking about these principles for raising children who hopefully will love Christ and spend eternity with him. John, we received a question from one of our listeners revert. This came in on our Q&A line and it's a question I'm sure many Christian parents have wondered about maybe even worried about so let's hear Roberta's question now and then John you can respond MacArthur Roberta South Carolina several times about children who die in innocence that they go to heaven. But what about the children in innocence at the time of the rapture and keep the Bible doesn't say anything about that. It doesn't say that the Lord is going to rapture the innocent children.

So really there's no way biblically to answer that question we rest on the fact that the Lord will do right.

We also remember that after the rapture, the seven year tribulation comes in the gospel will be preached during that seven year tribulation. It's obvious that some very young children will still not have reached the age where they can believe or not believe that if it's only a seven year. So they would come to heaven. Basically, in the end because God will redeem them because he would not send them to hell for unbelief because they hadn't willingly been unbelievers.

So Bible doesn't really say, but for those who were left on earth and who are able during the period of the seven years to come to true faith.

There will be a salvation revival the likes of which the history of the world is never seen people from every tongue tribe and nation are going to come to faith in Christ. And so it's going to be a great great time of salvation and for those who never do reach the age of accountability. I believe the Lord will gather them to himself at the end of the time when Jesus returns the PSE will, and thank you John and thanks Roberta for that question also friend.

If you have a question for John do what Roberta did and call our Q&A line. You may hear John answer your question on a future broadcast get in touch with us today. The Q&A line number 661-295-6288. Again, you just leave your question and you may hear John answer it on a future broadcast the Q&A line number one more time. 661-295-6288. You'll also find that number at our website TTY.now turning the corner a bit much of John's current study, the fulfilled family comes from the book of Ephesians. In addition to the roles of husbands and wives. Ephesians also looks at the incredible blessings of salvation, how to overcome temptation why Jesus came to earth and much more to help you dig deeper into all that biblical teaching John has written a commentary on Ephesians. It's a great resource for pastors and layman to order the Ephesians commentary or the entire MacArthur New Testament commentary series, call 855 grace or go to TTY.that's our website. TTY.org now for John MacArthur.

I'm Phil Johnson. If you're looking for encouragement this weekend. Tune into Grace to you television this Sunday. Check your local listings for channel and times and then be here next week when John continues his look at the fulfilled family with another 30 minutes of unleashing God's true one verse at a time on grace to you