God's Pattern for Children, Part 1

Discipline is that function by which parents reward obedience and punish disobedience conformity to the divine standard results in positive consequences. You say, do you believe in positive reward absolutely. I also believe in negative discipline is very simple. It is getting the appropriate for the conduct banned corporal punishment, even by parents, she called it a form of child abuse. When stories like that make headlines when influential voices try to make it illegal for parents to use various kinds of discipline for their own children. Is it any wonder that Christian parents think twice about whether even to correct their kids. But instead of looking to government for parenting techniques. I urge you to look to the one who created families God and his word for counsel on how to discipline your children the right way. John MacArthur does that today on grace to you as he continues his study titled the fulfilled family hears John with today's lesson part of the book of Proverbs with me because the book of Proverbs is the heart of the teaching of parents to their children.

When you get into Proverbs or getting into the book which basically parents talk to their children something you are to teach yours.

Chapter 1 verse eight here, my son, your father's instruction and do not forget to forsake your mother's teaching. Indeed, they are graceful reads to your head and ornaments about your neck. What that means they make you a beautiful person they make you a gracious person.

They will bless you.

Listen to what your father and mother teach you. Chapter 2 verse one my son, if you will receive my sayings, and treasure my commandments within you make your ear attentive to wisdom. Incline your heart to understanding a father saying listen to what I'm telling you, as he passes on divine truth chapter 3 verse one my son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments for length of days and years of life and peace.

They will add do you do not let kindness and truth believe you bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. In other words, listen to what I tell you and wrap it around your body and live it out in every area of your life. Chapter 4 follows with the same idea verse one. Heroes sons the instruction of a father and give attention that you may gain understanding for I give you sound teaching do not abandon my instruction when I was a son to my father tender and the only son in the side of my mother. Then he taught me and said to me. Let your heart hold fast my words, keep my commandments and live not that's a faithful father chapter 4 again down in verse 10 here my son and accept my sayings in the years of your life will be many chapter 5 verse one my son, give attention to my wisdom. Incline your ear to my understanding.

Chapter 7 of Proverbs verse one my son, keep my words and treasure my commandments within you keep my commandments and live in, and my teaching is the apple of your bind them on your fingers and write them on the tablet of your heart say to wisdom, you're my sister. Chapter 8 verse 32 just goes on. Now, therefore, all sons listen to me for Blessed are they who keep my ways and then just a couple more chapter 13 a wise son accepts his father's discipline.

Chapter 13 verse one. A wise son accepts his father's discipline. Chapter 15 verse five a fool rejects his father's discipline. There are some samples of how we are to instruct our children how our children are to respond. Go to Proverbs 30 and you see the opposite. Here is the, the opposite went when a child does not respond does not obey is not properly disciplined. Verse 11 there is a kind of person man or woman, a kind of person who curses his father and does not bless his mother. There is a kind of as pure in his own eyes, yet is not washed from his filthiness is so typical of children who are rebellious and against their parents, they got their own way their own wisdom, their own approach to everything you're not gonna tell them what to do they think they got all the answers and the fact is, they've never been washed from their filthiness. There is a kind how lofty are his eyes and his eyelids are raised in arrogance.

This is the proud, selfish, self-centered, rebellious child who listens to nothing that his parents say there is a kind of person whose teeth are like swords in his jaw teeth like knives to devour the afflicted from the earth and the needy from among men, their own kind.

Their merciless their brutal children. They never been taught kindness. They've not been taught the graces that make them loving people. Verse 15 the leech has two daughters give give let's talk about a horse leech, but had to teeth if you will or two prongs came out of its mouth and it sinks it into the horse and sucks the blood and he says these kind of children are like a leech that sticks both of its teeth and sucks the blood out there bloodsucking rebel children there are in verse 53 things that will not be satisfied for that will not say enough. She'll in the barren womb that's very, very graphic language. Hell never has enough the barren womb is never satisfied earth that is never satisfied with water and fire that never says enough. You can add to that that leaching child no matter what you give them no matter what you give them. He never has enough and that's that's good word. You know those people who have rebellious children and think they can buy their loyalties or by their obedience or by the respect you cannot do that because they never are satisfied there like the grave there like the barren womb there, like the earth never has enough water for its parched ground there, like a fire but never says enough. It is the eye that mocks the father and scorns her mother what is God's response, the ravens of the Valley will pick it out in the young Eagles will eat it pretty graphic language where you have a child that doesn't get the discipline, training and instruction about obedience and honor.

You have that kind of leech bloodsucking child who, in the end, with all of his merciless unkindness all of his animosity and filthiness is going to feel the judgment of God and how sad, how sad. How many parents. Many of you have a child that has fallen under divine judgment. Some have even perished.

It's absolutely heartbreaking know how how do you do this process.

How do you bring a child to obedience and respect back to Proverbs chapter 3 Proverbs chapter 3 verses 11 and 12.

My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord, or loathe his reproof, for whom the Lord loves he reproves, even as a father the son in whom he delights. By the way, that is quoted in Hebrews 12 verses 5 to 11, or talks about chastening the category here is one of discipline, the father who really loves his son. You say you love your child then you'll discipline your child every son you love, you will scourge. What Hebrews says the Lord loves one. He scourges him chasing him and it's grievous for the moment, but it has the effect of the peaceable fruit of righteousness. So first of all week. We learn here that the process of teaching obedience and respect is a process of discipline. Discipline can simply be defined in these terms, discipline is that function by which parents reward obedience and punish disobedience that is discipline nonconformity to the divine standard results in negative consequences conformity to the divine standard results in positive consequences. That is exactly how God disciplines us.

You say, do you believe in positive reward absolutely absolutely. I also believe in negative reward you say should you try to motivate your children, though with a positive reward absolutely doesn't God motivate us with that is any promise good to us.

Doesn't he promised blessing. Didn't he say that the child who obeys will live long on the earth. In fact, the whole motivation.

The only motivation given in Ephesians 6 is a positive motivation. There is no threat there.

It's good to say to your child. If you do this I will reward you in this way, knowing that the child desires that reward discipline involves both discipline is very simple. It is giving the appropriate reward for the conduct when I say conduct, I don't mean simply what they do.

I mean, also what they say and I also mean their attitude. I can tell you and so can my children.

They were discipline far more for their attitudes than what they did and if you start with the attitude doesn't work its way to the act is readily we tried to catch the discipline at the initial point of attitude.

Now look at chapter 6 of Proverbs, and let's talk some more about this disciplining process in 620.

My son observed the commandment of your father. Do not forsake the teaching of your mother, bind them continually on your heart, tie them around your neck when you walk about, they will guide you when you sleep. They will watch over you when you awake.

I love this. They will talk to you for the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light and reproof support discipline are the way of life.

What you do is you pour the word of God into them so that it informs their conscience and it talks to them. The conscience is only a warning system.

It's a buzzer it's a red light Isabella to whistle. That's all the conscience reacts to the moral system in the mind. It reacts to your highest moral standard. Now child born into the world as the law of God written where in the heart Romans to the law of God is written in the heart. It's there. They understand right from wrong. They just love wrong and they must be trained to do right now. That law of God written in their heart can be negatively listen carefully can be negatively affected by the messages coming from the culture. The culture wants to reconstruct that moral code it wants to come in with lies.

It wants to read form their whole moral system.

Their whole moral ethical system and if it succeeds in doing that. Then, the conscience, which is the warning device that should go off when you violate that is misinformed.

It's misinformed because of you have a warped theology. If you have a warped moral ethical system, then your conscience will react to that warped system so when you come into the world. What happens this little kid is exposed to television, radio, movies, music education, the whole process of the culture and it re-informs the great truth that has been placed in that little heart from birth about God and about what is right and what is wrong. Romans one tells you they can know about God. They can know his eternal God had his power and something of his attributes. Romans two says they know right from wrong and then society blasts that it blasted with evolution so that all of a sudden they come to the place where they no longer believe that God created everything they come to the place also because there blasted with the immorality of the system to the point where they no longer know what is right and wrong and relativism takes over. There are no longer any absolutes in the conscience is helpless. All conscience can do is react to that ethical system and if that ethical system is warped then the conscience is going to get misinformed. What you have going on in our culture today two things a massive effort to sell children and young people and non-Christian ethical system, its massive get rid of God. There is no creator there is no God, there is no moral law, whatever you want is for you.

Everything is purely a lifestyle choice what the society wants to do is create an ungodly satanic system of values reversible, so that what is being said in the heart is wrong. Second thing it wants to do is double the conscience. How does it do that by telling you, you shouldn't listen to your concerts. In effect, it says you shouldn't feel guilty. You shouldn't feel shame you didn't do anything wrong. What really happened was you were abused your mother did something to your father did something to you, you're just a victim. It's not your fault.

You shouldn't feel guilty.

You should feel responsible society as it will at the blame for this and dispossess the person of any any need to listen to the voice of conscience.

So you assassinate, as it were, the function of conscience, you rewrite the script for moral values and you have a potential disaster and that's the kind of young people we have in our generation. Now you gotta go back to the very beginning right here in Proverbs 6 and you gotta teach them the commandments of the word of God.

You gotta bind them continually on their little hearts tie them around their neck. That just means attach them so they can get away from them and so that when they walk around their functioning and their little minds when they're sleeping those truths, even in their sleep are guarding them, as it were, because they're so deeply embedded in as soon as they wake their their first conscious thought that little child walking to the kitchen and the first conscious thought of the morning is whatever mother says immediately. They respond, whatever dad says immediately. They respond because it's in the fabric of their life now.

Chapter 10 that then becomes the lamp in the light for their life. In chapter 10 of Proverbs, and verse 13 we'll get a little further into this process.

It says here and in verse 13 of chapter 10, a rod is for the back of him who lacks understanding never simply folks. How do you get this little guy or this little girl to obey bottom-line you had them was something Mr. Colorado seizure. That's what it means well, what's the point of just saying, look, here's a rod, would you please obey if the rod is never been applied.

I don't think they understand the picture. You basically are called to use Cpl. punishment. That's what it says. A rod is for the back of him who lacks it and isn't it interesting the Lord.

He tells where him, not on the front and not on the top on the back where they been designed to be hit. You know I really think I really think there's more back there than is necessary, and I know some of you would affirm that and part of it acts as padding for the discipline process. God knows Proverbs 1324, gets a little deeper into this stuff. Proverbs 1324 says he who spares his rod. What hates his son, I don't know that it could be said any stronger. If you love your child hit him on the backside with a rod and if you don't you hate yourself. Why because your content to let that child grow into sinful life patterns that what you want for your child.

He who loves you disciplines him diligently stay after stay after who you say, but you can't just be hitting your children you should be sure God wants us to to do that to hit them. I'm positive that's what sets let's go little further. Chapter 19 verse 18 discipline your son while there's hope was that you can wait too long. You can be too inconsistent discipline your son while there's still hope, and do not desire his death literally do not desire to cause him to die if you don't discipline your child you're really potentially spelling his death warrant.

Because antisocial, undisciplined behavior can lead rapidly to death. We see that in our society.

Don't death the drunkenness, death, or drugs, death, or criminal behavior. Death through venereal disease all over the place. Children dying young people dying teenagers dying. Somebody didn't know the truth of God. Somebody didn't discipline them enough. While there was still hope, and they wished death on because that's what comes to irresponsible sinful, wicked people who never learn self-control. Chapter 22 takes us further chapter 22 verse 15 and this sort of sums up what we been saying.

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. The rod of discipline will remove it far from him to me.

I just I think this is so great.

Now if we were to take 15 secular psychologists out of it whatever University want to pick just bring them up here and say no. We want to raise a responsible moral quality citizen is going to make a positive contribution to the world.

Maybe change the quality of life in some way.

Who's going to be a noble person of high moral values. What you suggest we do. I think they could probably go on for months with their psychological nuances and talk about all the stuff the psychologist talk about in your parents get pretty paralyzed about it to uneven Christian parents can get pretty paralyzed about all the stuff you're supposed to do the work. This will be a lot. Can I suggest you it really and that hard bit where it says here is pretty straightforward. You have a depraved and foolish child.

If you want to not to be so foolish spank him said you stood up in the midst of some great conclave of psychologists on child behavior and said that they throw you out the door and then sue you for abuse, but that's what the Bible says foolishness is bound up in the heart of the child as part of his depraved nature and the way to get rid of it. Isn't it wonderful that God is made it so simple.

Just inflict pain on them and they'll finally say I don't think I'll do that because when I do that it hurts. I took a lot for me to get the message growing up, but I finally got the message that pain was not particularly enjoyable. My mother says to me that she would feel guilty because she spanked me so often and so hard.

Listen, I can only thank my mother for that. If she had not.

Who knows what kind of criminal person I might've been saving all. You might you might hurt your child. You might somehow wound your child or you might leave sums some emotional scars in your chart what the Bible says you got a foolish child. It's deep in his heart. Isn't it wonderful that you don't have to do some psychological training with the kid for 14 years to get it out. All you have to do is spank him.

I mean, you need to go to college to do that is so open it, but it might hurt a look at chapter 23 this is for all of you who have little fear. Verse 13 do not hold back discipline from the child dawdled back. I mean, it's so direct, although you being with the rod he will not die to kill him survive because that's the typical response.

All I don't want her to my I'm afraid if I hurt me will like me, all you hear that all the time. I wouldn't dare do that he will like me. I love you because you showing the path of righteousness. No go ahead and spank him he will not surely die. I love that even indicates that though the writer of Proverbs had a sense of humor, not curriculum. Say what you will do your bidding with a rod and deliver his soul from Bell how important spanking your children would you say it's a major thing I think it's the major thing I think that's what this is all about.

What a promise. You know were always looking for promises in the Bible that are practical. That's practical. That's grace to you with John MacArthur. Thanks for being with us. John is a pastor, author and Chancellor of the Masters University in seminary. He is currently making his way through his most popular series titled the fulfilled family, you know, a key point that's coming out in this study is that families need to be characterized by sacrificial love John sacrificial love is what our listening family certainly is shown in recent weeks, and in the past few months toward the work that we're doing here you have some thoughts on that. That is what marks the faithful family of grace to you givers sacrificial love. They love the truth. They love the word of God. Consequently, they love the ministry that feeds them and teaches them the word of God and we are here we are doing what we do here and around the world because of the expressions of that sacrificial love now and we could start with a radio station were on. We were grateful for the fact that they allow us to be a part of their broadcast calendar and they give us this open door. We also recognize that there has to be support to make that happen and people are so faithful to support us.

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