God's Pattern for Husbands, Part 2 B

Gentlemen, it's going to start with you when you love your wife as Christ loved his church. That's were to rebuild the whole thing get back into the word of God, get back in the living an obedient life. Get your focus where it belongs on Christ and then on that little family that God has given you, your family from harm. Those are essential responsibilities of every husband. But what should a husband's top priority be consider that today as John MacArthur continues his series. The fulfilled family. And speaking of family, John. I would ask you about your family for a while so maybe I can ask you this. Over these past tumultuous 13 or 14 months with the covert thing and all the rest have you been experiencing new challenges as a husband and a father and grandfather as you've sought to lead your family if you know honestly fill. I don't feel like we've had new challenges for one compelling reason that his Grace Community Church is been open and so life in our church is normal. We do know the staff is there every day all kinds of activities are going on on Sundays. The church is packed to capacity, the authorities have many will shut us down have been able take away our parking.

They tried all kinds of things so Grace Church is normal. In fact, admit sort of beyond normal. It's a bit it's been elevated to a level of enthusiasm and excitement that I've never seen in my 50 years of writing history so it it's it's pretty stunning to to realize what has gone on at Grace Church and that has become such an incredible benediction blessing to our family. It allows Patricia to to enjoy the fullness of ministry. The church, our kids, our grandkids we we have a new little great-grandson little she's the newest addition of John MacArthur, John on MacArthur. He's one couple weeks ago was his first foray on a Sunday morning running around the patio of Grace Church since you learn to walk and I just thought to myself how wonderful is this my kids are there. My grandkids are there now. My great grandkids are there so yeah Grace Church has become the haven for for for not only our family but for our congregation as well. And not only there on Sunday but they're there for a lot of other things during the week and the Lord is allowed us to stay open so it's it's been fairly normal when everything is right in terms of your experience in the body of Christ and of the fellowship of the saints. It did tends to minimize the things that are difficult on the outside. Thanks, John, and I think it's easy for all of us to forget the importance of the local church, not just for our own spiritual growth but for our families as well. And speaking of spiritual growth stay here as John looks at how you can lead your family into deeper worship. Follow along. Now, as John begins the lesson Ephesians chapter 5. Starting in verse 25 we have direct instruction to husbands. We begin in verse 25 with these words. Husbands, love your wives that's the beginning. And Paul says, first of all, it is a sacrificial love. Look at it in verse 25 it is, as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her.

It is a love that knows no tyranny, only sacrifice. Second, it is a purifying love versus 26 and 27 Christ loved the church enough to sanctify her.

Verse 26 to cleanse her by the washing of water with the word that he might present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and blameless you are to love your wife in such a way that you you work toward her godliness. Thirdly, it is a caring love. It is a caring love verse 28 so husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He loves his own wife loves himself forcibly.

It is an unbreakable love. It is an un-breakable love verse 31 for this cause and here is a quote from Genesis 224, also quoted by our Lord in Matthew 19, five here is the quote from Genesis. This was God's original design. Before the fall for this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

This is a coming together of a man and a woman leaving their family creating a new union with that you need unique identity all its own. That is called a one flesh relationship.

What does it mean one flesh. The primary reference is to the sexual union because the sexual union is what yields the most obvious evidence that the two have become one, which is the birth of the child that carries the genetics of both parents. That child is the true emblem of the oneness of the physical union back in first Corinthians 616. Paul says do you not know that the one who joins himself to a harlot is one body with her all so that oneness is when you join sexually. That's right, then it says in that same verse for a first.

616 for he says the two will become one flesh. You become one flesh in the physical relationship. That's where you share life when the life of the man is shared with the life of the woman in the intimacy of that physical relationship that is the one flesh. Even a man who is joined to a harlot becomes one flesh where there's not some mystical marital union. It's not some spiritual, emotional union is the union that is on the physical level. First of all, it goes beyond that it engulfs everything about our life emotions certainly come into play. It becomes unique and personal, but it starts with that physical relationship. So in Ephesians again God's design as indicated back in Genesis is that a man and a woman leave their respective families and come together, clinging to each other and enter into a physical union they become one flesh and a clean to each other. This oneness is intimate, unique and personal. This oneness is special individual identity is lost, you get that individual identity is lost. You become really a new person co-mingled with your life partner and what God has joined together, let not man put asunder. That's why God hates divorce because divorce severs that indissoluble indivisible relationship. Would you notice the word leave in verse 31 to very intense words. Another one of those verbs without proposition on the front of it.

Cotto level it means to to leave behind. It means to abandon literally leave and of course we have to give advice about that. Lots of times the young couples who who have who have started the cleave but forgotten the leave, which is very helpful. The word cleave frost allow it means to be glued to you come together to stick oneness of physical union which incorporates oneness of mind, oneness of purpose, oneness of heart. Oneness of a motion and you enter into this most private magnificent intimate personal relationship even appalls me all these books that are written about how to express your physical relationship. Certainly, somewhere along the line enough information is circulated and if it hasn't. You can certainly find out rather quickly. What ought to happen in the physical dimension and when you sort of blatantly proofread all of this stuff you cheapen it magnificent beauty of intimacy belongs in the marriage bed.

Hebrews 13 to his soul.

So beautiful. Hebrews 13 for rather it says let marriage be held in honor among all at the marriage bed be undefiled. You can also translate that in an indicative mode the marriage bed is undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge there's something wonderful about that marriage bed about that union something personal and intimate and private and magnificent as two people come together in an in a relationship that in and of itself is God's perfect and private and special union that they share is an unbreakable union. That's why the Bible condemns divorce. That's why in Malachi it says God spoke and said I hate divorce.

Malachi 216 the Lord, the God of Israel says he hates divorce. God hates anything that breaks up this union and what is it that assaults this union sin sure you say what I want to keep my marriage together, but the boy, he's a bear to live with the sky or man might say, I like to keep this marriage together to but Doc, I don't like a lot of this one.

I actually had mended me. Men say to me, and not just not just a few, but quite a number. What would happen if I divorce my wife without biblical cause.

Well, my answer has always been known. I don't know, I know you're in direct violation of Scripture. And I know God will not bless that and there's a reasonable assumption that God will chase and that you may come under serious chastening from God and I've had men say to me on. Not a few occasions. Okay I'll take it. I would much rather put myself under the chastening of God than live with this woman really say that you know what that indicates to me they have reached the point where they are either so sinful in their own lives that they themselves are at fault and of alienated that woman or perhaps more likely, they have ceased to understand how to forgive you know what happens. It doesn't take a lot of stuff to get to that point. It just takes the continual pattern of un-forgiveness and it just accumulates, just accumulates how many times is the Lord forgive you all day every day in his love never changes in his love never wanes and you're still his chosen bride and he still gonna bring you to glory. How many times are we to forgive each other interest that did me in Matthew 18. How many times so I forgive seven times Jesus at 70×7, 70×7.

So you love your wife with a sacrificial love you love your wife or the purifying love you love your wife or the caring love that nourishes her and cherishes her you love your wife with an unbreakable love. It just keeps forgiving and forgiving and forgiving and forgiving can a man cast off his wife.

I can answer that question with a question. Can Christ cast off his church and at this point it would be appropriate to give a warning to you young people pick carefully.

It's for life pick wisely. It's for life. She will boy it makes me nervous make you nervous so what's the key to picking wisely simple be filled with the spirit walking in a godly way so that your mind is tuned to the will of God. Why, when young couples come in for counseling here. The first thing we asked him when I want to get married. They come in for premarital counseling is are you involved with each other physically because of their office.

They are there in a sinful condition and people in a sinful condition can't discern the will of God right so you have to separate and live a godly life so that you can understand the mind of the spirit. The will of God can be expressed through your love, your life, then you'll know I always tell young people don't worry about finding the right person worry about being the right person and if you're the right person, then the person God has for you will recognize what you look for when we give you some suggestions.

As for those of you who aren't married and you know it's for life.

First of all, find out someone's reputation. Proverbs 22 one says a good name is better than riches.

Find out someone's reputation a good name is better than riches. Try to avoid a reclamation project and wait until the spirit of God has done that they were all reclamation projects are only but let the spirit of God do that before you jump in at square one. The idea of marriage is not, so that you can lead her to Christ. I think that's what I'm saying. Secondly favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Find someone who worships the Lord from the heart, look for reputation look for a worshiping heart. Listen to what they say because out of the abundance of the heart.

What the mouth speaks.

What's the conversation like you can check out companions. What kind of people do they run with shallow people, deep people, godly people first Corinthians 1533 says evil company corrupts good morals and check out their wardrobe is a really absolutely check out their wardrobe because godly women are not so much concerned with the outward adornment of the body as they are the inward adornment and when they do call attention to themselves they call attention to their virtue. Well, enough said.

At that point, the manner of love in our passage or sacrificial purifying caring and unbreakable. Let's talk about the motive. What should motivate us to love like this, verse 32 this mystery is great but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. What why should I love this woman like this. Why should I lever sacrificially. Why should I love her to the degree that I leader the holiness that I care for her. Why should I commit myself to an unbreakable love, which means I relentlessly forgive her and never become embittered motive because of the sacredness of marriage. That's the issue because of the sacredness of marriage. Marriage isn't just marriage. Marriage is a mystery, a marriage among Christians is a picture of Christ and his church. This mystery is great and you need to treat marriage with reverence and awe because marriage is a sacred symbol of Christ's relationship to his church and then one final word. Verse 33 just reviews everything nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself, and with the wife see to it that she respects her husband is not tough to understand this, but you can't fulfill it. Apart from being spirit filled, you have to go all the way back.

Don't you back all the way in this text. Verse 18 filled with the spirit of heart filled with song and joy thankful for everything an attitude of submission see where the spirit of God is in control. This can come to pass. The commitment of two people to be controlled by the Holy Spirit filled with worship and thanks devoted to submitting to each other in humble love. I'll tell you.

That'll bring romance that'll put springtime in a marriage and it'll keep it there why marriages break up after the kids go you noticed lata and I suppose I used to wonder what marriage would be like when you were chasing them all around when your whole life wasn't seemingly focused on them in off in those early years control is the issue. Just get those kids in control obedience line them up. Help them to learn how to think and how to act and how to react and how to submit. I will pay you work hard on that and they go off to school then it's homework for years and years and your focused on the homework every night.

Papers, papers, daddy, could you please explain this to me. Could you help me draw this. I don't understand this or daddy I got a bad grade on this. Could you talk to the teacher. I don't understand in your life is just focused all over the place and then it's Little League and then it's soccer games or whatever and it's football games and baseball games and I tell you it in piano lessons and then you have to go to someplace to to buy clothes for all of these kids that goes on and on and you know your whole life is focused on. Then they got to get to the age where they have friends and they all come over to your house and now you go to sort all those friends out and say you know I don't I don't think this person is a really good influence the energy expended in just coordinating this to say nothing of the taxi service that goes with your whole life is just focused on all these kids and you get to the age where they start to think about serious relationships and then it really get serious, I'll tell you, not five pretty will have my boys wired by the time they got to the place where they were going to treat choose and you know how how they know what to choose.

While they they love their mother and she was kind of the standard, but the girls I was protective I confess you know I mean, it's that you spend your whole life protecting your daughter right just protect her protector and then one day she's gonna marry some guy and you just say here.

Not only did I have to say that I had to pronounce a man and wife.

That's a pretty dramatic moment in your and then your life is just focused on this and you you want to get them to the right place and get into the right partner you want to help them as they go through that process of sorting all of that out and ligament of the rights study and get them through school and your and and all of a sudden they're gone and I've seen some pretty apparently noble servants of the Lord, even in ministry have their whole life collapse in front of them at that point, when the truth of the matter is you should be on your second honeymoon when they're gone. We should look at each other and say boy we've waited a long time for this. I have to tell you, you know it's the best of times at our house. You know what we we would we was okay when they went, but you know what's happened there back only their back with little tiny kids and were saying in the famous words of Yogi Berra this is déjà vu all over again. It's sad when it kinda declines as I read a Saturday evening Post old article called the seven stages of the married cold stage I first year marriage sugar. I'm so worried about you. You got a sniffle, and there's no telling about such things.

I'm in a put you in the hospital today for a general checkup and some rest.

I know the food's lousy at the hospital all of your meals catered. I've already raised with four superintendent second-year was in darling.

I just don't like the sound of that coffin and I've called Dr. Miller to to rush over here now you go to bed like a good girl please third-year that many there lie down honey. Nothing like a little rest when you don't feel well.

Have you got any soup fourth-year look there. Be sensible after you feed the kids and get the dishes washed you better laid out for fear that you get yourself a couple of aspirin six dear, for Pete's sake, stop sneezing to give me pneumonia seven dear know if you just gargle you would be sitting around barking like a seal well does it have to be that way, not in God's plan. Billy Sunday said gentlemen try praising your wife even if it frightens her worthiness is not the issue is not the issue with Christ. He's tender, sensitive, forgiving toward us were speaking about a divine ideal and is not too late for us no matter what may be the condition of our marriages and gentlemen it's gonna start with you when you love your wife as Christ loved his church and loves his church that's worded, rebuild the whole thing. And that's going to happen when you begin to come back to where you need to be in your own spiritual life. Get the garbage out of your life get back into the word of God get back into living an obedient life. Get your focus where it belongs on Christ and then on that little family that God has given you as a piece of his kingdom to disciple put your whole heart. There and watch how God rewards that's John MacArthur continuing his look at God's plan for your family. Today's message is part of grace to use most in demand study, we call it the fulfilled family and of course friend.

Knowing how to please the Lord with you single or married always starts and ends with the Bible.

Bottom line, you can't honor God.

If you don't know his word.

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