Fathers: Do Not Provoke - Part 1

Welcome to God first, with wavy, when committing to encouraging you to put God first, while viewing life the window in the Bible.

Now, in honor of the one and only true God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob left doing fine. See Thomas for today's message good afternoon Truth Network family is always a joy or pleasure and honor to spend time with you each week and I thank you for joining me today on the God first program for anyone that is turning in for the very first time my name is Brian Thomas and I greet you in the name of our wonderful Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the one who is worthy of all the honor the one who is worthy of all the glory.

When was worthy of all the praise, for he is a mighty loving God who died for our sins so that we might have the opportunity for eternal life with the sweet folks I want to speak with you on a message to fathers that is dads but mothers. I don't want you to check out and women in general don't check out because this message will apply to you.

This message will affect you as well but I want to focus today primarily on dance because they as we have such a great influence we have such a and E an important role to play and that's not to say that mothers do not have an important role because mothers have a great influence.

Mothers having a very important role as well, but when it comes to our children.

I think that dad's have the most impactful influence and influences can come from many directions, but dads can have such an influence.

Dads can make or break their child's future.

All dependent upon how he uses in his relationship towards his children, and again this not to dismiss mother's mother's don't don't take this the wrong way to say that you are unimportant because mothers are extremely important were both important fathers and mothers. And that is why God made marriage biblical marriage because of the importance of a mother and a father.

But you know the way God wired us is that children typically will see your mother is loving them no matter what.

Often times, when it comes to how children view their parents. Children would just naturally feel like will mom is going to love me regardless mom is going to be proud of me regardless. There are always exceptions to the rule that that there it deftly exceptions to the rules not always the case, but generally speaking, mothers are going to be accepting of their children no matter what, and in children just just know that the sense that in the field that but when it comes to dads is often times you feel like you have a a bar that is a bit high year that you have to get over because Dan's. We are just naturally why you're to not be as expressive as women you know that I asked him typically won't show affection and emotion and express their love for the child and so I will again I want to speak today is today and I want to draw your attention to two simple versus the first verses Ephesians chapter 6 verse four and you fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord in the second verse is similar.

Colossians chapter 3 verse 21 fathers, do not provoke your children unless they become discouraged if you notice in both of those verses you see the language fathers, do not provoke and that is what I want to speak today on his father's, do not provoke your children this provocation by fathers, it can come in many ways and one of the ways is in the time that you spend with your children because of fathers choosing not to spend the time with the children that they should children will often times turn the direction to to seek love and acceptance in a place that is not good. There been so many cases in which young men because they grew up without their father in the home and when they became older they were looking for that love that comes from a father they did they receive love from their mother, but often times they did not receive love from a father and in his two different types of relationships again is not to dismiss that that love from the mother, but we need both. We need the love from the mother and we need the love from a father what you seen in so many cases is that these young men as they get older they looking for acceptance they're looking for someone that is going to say I'm proud of you. You belong from a male standpoint so they turn to gangs and there in the been doing illegal things gang banging out in the streets because they're there looking for something to be fulfilled that that love from a male figure in their lives, and I've heard of cases in which these gang members that often times they they may have even been raised by the grandmother because that the mother was out on the streets. The father was nowhere to be found.

As of the grandmother raised them and they get arrested and during interrogation, they would start to the interrogator was like to tell them about how they were have called their grandmother to come and that the men begin to weep and sob and cry like a baby because inside there there soft at heart, but they are wanting that love their seeking that love. And so it is so important dads that we give that love to our children, especially to our sons for me as a father when I became a father for the first time in 2009, my son, my firstborn made a commitment that I was going to make sure he knew how much I loved him how important he was to me how much I care for him because the Bible tells us that all of us are made in the image of God that is very significant. All of us are a reflection of God. The image of God and so our children are so valuable. I wish children are so important now is just people on this earth but we talk about eternal souls and we as dads can have such a major impact on the future of that eternal soul and so my son was born I made a commitment that I was going to express my love towards him and I grew up I was very much into basketball. I started watching basketball at a very young age I was only five years old when the nuclear Tar Heels during the Michael Jordan days when they beat the Georgetown Hoyas and I can remember to this day very well watching that basketball game and not only did out our varsity games, but I play basketball from a very young age I was out there playing with my cousins and moguls were much older than me. I was out there playing with them. I love the game of basketball. And so my son came along and I introduced basketball to him, but he did not take to. He had no interest in it and what I found is that even before he really could talk. He had a strong interest in cars and that strong interest in cars led to a strong interest in love in NASCAR racing.

Now me, I grew up. I didn't watch NASCAR. I was, not involved in it to to any extent I knew of the most famous drivers like Richard Petty you know Bill Earnhardt. I knew about those guys but that was pretty much the extent of it.

And so I had to make a decision though when it came to my son is that I had to to go to where he was. I had to meet him where he was.

So I began to watch NASCAR with him as he grew is a toddler, he will watch NASCAR and he would get the NASCAR videogames I began to watch and play the games with him and so I was relating to him. I was bonding with him now. I could've taken the approach of will. He's not into basketball like me. I'm just going to go and watch the game will play the game and you will do his own thing and where in separate areas of life were not communing with one another. But no, I went to where he was and I eventually found myself now that I have learned so much about NASCAR that I've actually found myself watching races even when he's not around but see dance is so important for us to figure out ways to spend time with our children and now Saturday mornings for for number of years now. Saturday mornings has been the time for me my son to go out and spend time together will get up on Saturday mornings at sunrise and depending on the time of year the season and the weather was usually out the door by 8 o'clock.

9 AM and will go out for breakfast and one time McDonald's was his thing. He wanted to go eat breakfast at McDonald's but now was Bojangles and so will go out and get breakfast and we may stop often and pick up a couple of errands run a couple errands and then will come home will spend time I'll be outside washing the car doing the yard work, whatever it may be. He's out there with me were talking and he's playing which is having a great time together and like all kids today. They my kids, my mother, my son is 11 years old. My daughter is 10 years old. They love electronic devices, but we had to put a rule in the say well you can only get devices at noon, so I sort of set up the time of going out on Saturday mornings for it'll be about 3 to 4 hours and then around noon he can go and play with his devices. But what I found is that he's enjoying that the time to were spinning to go to so much that when noon Combs Hill see the clock know what time it is. He doesn't want to go inside, he still wants to stay outside and kick and continue having that that father-son time together and I'll even ask him. There may be 1 PM, 2 PM now asking Sondra to glissando to say no, not yet, and we're just enjoying the time together where outside which is in joy in God's great creation nature and have moments when I'll just walk of torment.

I put my mind my arm on his shoulder around the shoulder of put my hand on the shoulder and youdoagoodsonproudofyouandIcanseehimbeaminginsidethatthatmakeshimthatthatmakesthemfeelgoodthatBeelzebubandI'lljustyouknowhavemomentsinwhichroutethereandImaygivethemaFSBOyourgoodson.IthinkGodforyouandandIcanseethatthatfeelingofacceptanceinsideofhim,andthatissoimportant.I'lltellthemIloveyousonandImadeacommitmentatayoungagetodosoandI'mnottryingtosaythatII'mthisperfectdad,I'mnotvirtualvirtualvirtuesignalinghereandtrytosayIgetitallright.ImadeanumberofmistakeswhenitcomestoMike.Heisreactingthewrongwaytothings,accusingthemfalselymakingassumptionsororpromisingthemIwouldtakethemsomewherebysomethingforthemandthenforgettingaboutitandseeintheirdisappointment,butIhadtohumblemyselfandgotothemandsayson,wouldyouforgivemeI'msorrydaughterwillyouforgivemeI'msorryandthey'venevergivenmeahardtimeaboutanyofthosecasesissoimportantthatweasdadshavethatinfluenceonourchildren.SoIwanttochallengedancetoday.Taketimetospendwithyouryourchildren.Taketimetogotowheretheyare.Don'tjustsaywilltheirinterestsaredifferentthere.Theirpersonalityisdifferentifyouwere,especiallywhenyouhavemultiplechildrenandmultiplechildrenandyouaremakingaveryobviousthatyoutakethetimetospendwithonebutyoudon'tmakethatsameefforttospendtimewiththeother.Trustmeeventuallythatchildisbeingsonisgoingtopickuponitandisgoingtohaveamajormajornegativeimpactonthatchildbecausethey'regoingtostarttofeelnotaccepted.They'regoingtostarttocomparethemselvestotheotherandmaybethatofthechildthatyouspendtimewith.Maybetheyaremorelikeyou.Maybetheyhavemoreofyoursamepersonality.Maybethey'remoreobedientmaybethey'rejustmoreoftheoftheuprighttypeofpersonisforishowtheirlivingandamnotsenttocondonewrongdoingortocondonesin,butyoustillhavetoshowthelovetobothkeysequally.Favoritismneverturnsout,willweseenumerouscasesarethroughouttheBibleinwhichfavoritismcallsverystrongriftswithinafamilycallsalotofheartache,alotofheartbreakanditissoimportantthatweasdadsthatweequallyloveourchildrenequallyspendtimewithourchildrenequallysharetimewiththem.Sharelifewiththemandletthemknowhowweareproudofthem.Letthemknowthatwelovethem.LetthemknowthatwecareforthembecauseitissoimportantandIjustknowsomanypeopleaffectpersonalfriendsofminewhohavetoldmeofhownothavingafatheraroundinourlife,orevenifthefatherwasaroundtheirfatherjustseemtobecheckedout.Hedidn'tseemtohavemuchinterestinthem.Heseemedtobedisappointedinthem.Hedidn'tseemtotoreallyapplaudtheminlifeorhowthingsturnedoutforthemandtheysaidhowmuchitishurtfulhowmuchtheystrugglewiththetryingtotogothroughlifeandandandandfeelacceptedbytheirdads.Wewanttotakeashortbreak,butdon'twillwaitontheothersidegoingtocomebackandtalkaboutconclusionondad'sloveforthechildrendon'talwaysgotunedintoGodforprogramyou'relisteningtoBrianonlygotfourmorecrying,pleasevisitGodnotorbrowseourlibrary.ThereyouwillfindarticlesandmessagesavailableasMP3downloadsonvarioustopicssuchassalvation,marriagelessonisjusttonameafew.Also,signupforourmonthlynewsletterandvisitourwebstorevisitGodbacktotheconferenceprogramIfindThomasinjoiningustodayaswearelookingatafather'sloveandinparticularfathers,donotprovokeyourchildrenifyouwanttolistentothismessageagaininitsentirety.YoucanvisitusthatGodfirst.orgthisGLDthenumberoneST.orgyoucanalsowriteusatGodfirstBibleFellowship,POBox266,Knightdale,NC27545ifyoujustnowjoiningasIwanttoshareagaintheversesthatwe'relookingattoday.Ephesianschapter6versefourandyoufathers,donotprovokeyourchildrentowrath,butbringthemupintrainingandadmonitionoftheLordinColossianschapter3verse21fathers,donotprovokeyourchildrenunlesstheybecomediscouraged.IhaveseensomanychildrenthatIbecamediscouragedbecauseoftheirfathers,provokingthemandafathercanprovokeagaininmanywaysbynotspendingtimewiththechildrenbybeingtooharshonthechildrenbybeingtoocriticaloftheoftheirchildrenbyneversmiling,neverlaughingwiththem.Yes,wearefathers,butwealsohavefunwithourchildren.IlovetohavefunwithMike.Heisallowedtoplaywiththemjustjustdosillythingstomakethemlaugh,tohaveagoodtimeandwecanwecanbethatIheardsomepeoplesaywellI'mnottherefriendontheirdadandtheyandthatistrueyouaretheretheredadbutyoucanbetheredadandtheirfriendanditalsoifitjustbecauseyourthatdaddoesn'tmeanyoucannothavefunwiththem.YouhavealotoffunyoucanhavejoyoustimesyoucanlaughyoucanplayanditjustissomuchbillsthatrelationshipandIknowsomanypeoplethathavebecamediscouragedinlifebecausetheydonothavethatlove.TheydidnothavethatacceptancefromtheirdadandweseehereagainintheScripturethatitsaysinEphesianschapter6versefourbutbringthemupintoanadmonitionoftheLordbecausebynotdoingsowouldyouprovokethemyoucanprovokethemtowrath,andtheremanypeoplewalkaroundinlifetodaythatareangryandtheyarelookingforpeopletherelashingoutatpeopletheretakenitoutontheirtheirtheirfuturewivesandtheirdebttakenontheirfuturehusbandsbecausetheirfathers,provokethemtowrathbecausetheywantedtheattentionandlovetheirfather.Theydidn'tgetit.SonowtheyarewrathfulpeoplethereangrypeopleandItalkedinthefirstsegmentaboutmyson.Well,asmentionedalsohavecontinualdaughterdaughterwhothoseaffection.Imean,fromthetimeshehasbeenbornasfarbackasIcanremember.She'salwayscravedgettingupsnugglinguptoyouandandjustcuddlingandshelovesphysicaltouch.Shelovesaffection.Shelovestotojustcomeupandgiveyoukissesandasadad.IlovethatIwouldtellyounoneistruethatloveit.IeatitupandIsaytomyselfIhopeshe'salwaysthatwaywithmebecauseevenat10yearsold.ShestilllikestocomeandIcanjustbelyingthereonthecouchwatchingthegameissojustcomesnuggleupnexttomeandjustwatchitwithmeandIjustloveit.Buthere'sthething.WhatifIwasshowingherwhatifIwouldpushheraway.WhatifIdidnotinitiatethatbecauseyoushecomestomewiththatalsogotoherIwillgotoherandI'lljustputmyarmsaroundherandalsosweetheartIloveyouasasweetheartyouaresobeautifulsweetheart.I'msoproudofyouandshedoessheloveZachandIcanseeandfeelthatthatthatfeelingofacceptanceboilingupinsideofherandImadeacommitmenttotakehertoadaddydaughterdance.Thefirstonewewenttoshewasthreeyearsold.Shewasnotevenpottytrained.Yetshewasinpull-ups,butwewenttothedaddydaughterdanceandwehadagreattimeandImadeacommitmenteveryyearsincethentogotothedaddydaughterdance.Wehavegoneeveryyearsincewehaveawonderfultimewegetdressedup.Iputonmysuitshallgetanewdressandgetafancyhairdoandwegooutthereandwejusthavesuchawonderfultimenowwillsavetheveryfirst,whenIwasIwasabitapprehensivebecauseI'mnotadancer.AnyoneknowsmeknowsIdon'thaveatalentofsinking.Idon'thavethetalentofdancingandIwasalittleapprehensiveofhowwasgoingtobeabouthere.ThedaddydaughterdanceandIcan'tdance.ButwhathappenediswhenIgotthereIfoundit,probably95%ofthedancewerethesamewaycouldnotdanceeitherandwejustgotoutthereandjuststartedhavingagoodtime.Thoselaughingateachother.Butguesswhatthedaughtersdonotmind.Theydidn'tcarethatthedancecouldn'tdance.Theyjustwantedtospendtimewithherfather'shaveagoodtimewiththemandjustshowthemthatloveandandthatishowyouyoubecomeanencouragertoyourdaughters.Showthemthetypeofmantolookforwhentheydobecomeolderwhenit'stimetostartdatingandAda'sdaddydaughterdanceisaChristianeventandagainIwasmodmydaughterwasthreeyearsoldwhenIfirsttookherandsoIsawdaughtersevenyoungerthanthat.DadistherewithherdaughtersandIevensawallagesupto.Therewereyoungladieslookliketheywereteenagersintheupperteens.Therewassomelittleliketheywereintheir20sevendadsthatwereseniorcitizens.Theyweretherewiththeirdaughterstellyoufewpeople.Itwasjustabeautifulbeautifuleventisabeautifuleventeveryyearandnowthisyearcomingup.Itlookslikethedancewillnottakeplaceduetocovert,19becauseofalltherestrictionsinlockdowns,butI'vealreadytoldmydaughter,we'regoingtostillhaveadaddydaughterdancewithhertodoitrightyourhomegoingtogetdresseduplikewealwayswantlikewealwaysdo.Wewanttomakethesamefoodsthattheytypicallyservinggoingtodothesamethingsaregoingtotakethepicturesandwewanttohavethatgreattimetogetherbecausesheneedsthat.Andagainthisnottosaythatshecan'tgetthatfromhermother,butwhenitcomesfromadad.ItitjustcarriesaparticularweightbecauseofthewayGoddesignedthingsGodsetthingsupasthemantobetheheadofthehouse.GodsaidinhiswordforhusbandstolovetheirwivesasChristlovedthechurchhowtoChryslerthechurchhesacrificehimself.Hemadeit,notabouthimselfthathesacrificedsothatwecanhaveeternallifeandhediditontothepointofdeath.Nowthatdoesn'tmeannecessarilythatGodissayingthathisdayiswehavetophysicallydiebutitdoesmeanwehavetodietoself…Toourowndesiresforthebetterofourhomesbacktoourselfishdesiresandwantsforthebetterofourlivesforthebetterofourchildrenandwhenwedosowecreateabetterhome.Wecreatebetterfuturesforourchildrenandissoimportantpeople.SoagainIwanttochallengethatastodayyourdadoutthere.Ifyou'renottakenthattimewithyourchildrenwithyourchildrenstartdoingitfigureoutways.Justbecauseyourrelationshiporyourpersonalitiesaredifferent.Don'tletthatbeadeterrent.Don'tjustgiveupsoeasilyandsaywellhedoesn'tdesirethethingsthatIdecideddon'tgiveupandsaywhatshedoesn'twantthistoseemtodesiretototalktome.Childrengothroughphasesofsadismwithmydaughterandthedaddydaughterdanceslongershedesirestotogotothedancewithmeaslongasshe'snotashamedandembarrassedtogohelptherewouldneed.I'mgoingtocontinuetakingherandIseesomanydaughtersoutthereanditisjustthisisjustsobeautifultoseebutmaybeyouareadadandyou'relisteningtothisandyou'resayingwillabluejustandthatyourchildrengrewupandyouwerenotthereforthem.MaybeyouwerenotwiththeLordatthattimeandnowyouarehereinyourregrettingitbecauseyousayyoumissedoutonyouryourchildren'schildhoodyouwerenotabletoinfluencetheminthewaythatyouwould'vewantedtowillallisnotlost.Idon'twantyoutobediscouraged.Idon'twantyoutotolosehopebecausethebookofJoelchapter2tellsusaboutourGodandaboutGodthesonandhowheisaRedeemerinJoelchapter2verse25wefindthetextsoIwillrestoretoyoutheyearsthattheswarminglocustshaveeaten,thecrawlinglocust,theconsuminglocustinthechewinglocustmygreatarmywhichIsentamongyou.Youshalleatinplentyandbesatisfied,andpraisethenameoftheLordyourGod,whohasdealtwondrouslywithyouandmypeopleshallneverbeputtoshame.ThisisaTexanwhichthenationofIsraelwhentheyhavebeendisobedienttoGod,buttheyrepentedandGodletthemknowthatbecauseoftheirrepentance.Hewouldrestoretothem.Yousee,therehadbeenaagreatlocusinvasionthataCaymanthathadravagedthelandandthepeopledidnothavefoodinthelandwas.ItwasunderGod'sjudgment.ButGodsaidifyouturnedbacktome.IwillrestoretoyoutheyearsthatthelocusofEdensohegavethemthoseyearsback,andGodwilldothesameforyou.Maybeyourchildrenovernowgrown,butifyouwillputyourfaithandtrustinJesusChristbecausefolksweareeternalbeingswearegoingtoliveforeternity.AndItrulybelievethatGodisgoingtoallowyoutohavethoseyearsbackineternity.Theyearsinwhichyourchildrenwereweregrowingup.Youwerethereforthemhewouldallowyouthosetimesineternitythoseyearstospendwiththosechildren,youhaveallofeternityspendthattimewiththemthatyoumissedoutonbecausemaybeyouweren'twhereyouneededtobewithGod.SoIwanttoencourageyoutoday.Don'tgiveup.Don'tlosehope.Askyourchildrenifyouwerethereforthem,gotothemandsaywouldyouforsomeoneyouforgivehe.I'msorry,askedhimtoforgiveyouandtoacceptyouandagainIjustwanttosaytodayisoutthere.Maybeyouareaanewdata.Maybeyouaresoontobedad.Don'tunderestimateyourimportance.Theinfluencethatyoucanhaveonyourchildrenonyourhomeissoimportanttoleadourchildrenspiritually.Itissoimportanttospendthattimewiththem.Itissoimportant.TellthemIloveyoudon'tdon'tdon'tsaywhatitfeelsawkwardnoteisthishowyoufeel.SayIloveyou.ItellmychildrenthatIwanttomakesuretheyhearthatIwillIwillgototomydaughterandinandoutandIgivemorephysicalaffectiontowardsmydaughterthanIdo.Mysonandandthat'sokay.Youmeanitdoesn'tmeanIdon'tgiveanyphysicalaffectiontowardsmyson.Butasmeals.Icantellyounow,hedoesn'twanttositinmylap.Youwantmetokisshim.He'sfinewiththefistbump.He'sfinewithme.Justputmyhandontheshoulder.WehavegreattimestogetherandIandIsharewiththemhowmuchtheymeantomeIwoulddoanythingformychildrenandtheirsomanytodaythatcravethatloveandattentionfromtheirdads.Thedadsyouareignoringyourchildren.Bydoingsoyouwillprovokingthem,youarecausingyourchildrentogrowupintoturntopromiscuityyourview,causingthechildrentogrowupandturntogangscausingthemtogrowupandturnedtodrugstototurntoviolencetoturntoeverythingbutthethingsarethethingsthatareofGodbecausetheyareseekinglovetheirseekingattentionandifyouwouldgivethattothem.YoucansetthemonthepathinwhichtheywillgrowuptobegoodupstandingcitizensthatcanbegreatvesselsforthekingdomofGod.Sodancersdoourpart.ListlessloveinthewaythatJesuslovesthatshowourkidsthegreatgiftsthattheyaretheGodhasblesseduswiththatastheyaremadeinhisimageandwehavesomethingthatissowonderfulsomethingthatissomuchtobetreasuredandwe'renotgoingtobehereforever.Makethemostofthetimethatyouhavewithyourkidsmakethemostofthetimethatyouhavewithyourfamilies.Again,theremaybechallengesunderstandchildrenwillberebelliousattimesandyoudon'tcondonethatthatthewrongdoingyoudisciplinethemandaskedwhattrueloveistrueloveisnotmeyoujustgoalongwiththeirwrongdoingbuttruelovesaysnodon'tgothatway.GointhewayoftheLord,supposeIhopethismessagehasbeenablessingtosomeone.IsomuchjusthaveitonmyhearttototogivethatloveofJesusChristtosharetheirloveofJesusChristwithmychildrentotoencourageyoutodothesame.Iwantyoutopleasecomebackandjoinyouagainnextweek.IthankyouforjoiningmethisweekwearegoingtoencouragecontinuetoencourageyoutoputGodfirst,whileviewinglifethroughthewindowoftheBible.Untilthen,remembertoprayforthepeaceofJerusalem,blessGod'sgreatnationofIsraelandtotheonlywiseGodbeglorythroughJesusChrist,forever.Amen.YoucanthinkoftheBibleblameGodforRyanandIfirstwasarightprotectedunderourcopyrightisavailable@ourwebsite.org until next time great nation of Israel first