How I Found God Through My Abortion Journey (Part 2 of 2)

Today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly were returning to powerful story of a woman's journey of searching for love in all the wrong places and then living with the tragic consequences of multiple abortions. This is an important conversation we need to have it but it's not suited for younger children so we do recommend you address their attention elsewhere and this clip illustrates some of the challenges that our guest faced. This is where the Holy Spirit was with me in my deepest darkest moments. What she meant. She said we probably didn't get everything what is that even mean in my arm when I said can see what's inside of me and she flips that screen around and you see a little tiny baby. Just think we currently going and you see a deflated sack on the right side of the screen and I had been carrying twins, John the story we heard last night from Cynthia Wentz was so heartbreaking. She started out as a happy, carefree young girl in a loving family only to find yourself a few years later trapped in a destructive cycle of underage drinking, drugs and promiscuity. Cynthia had a hunger for God instilled in her by a loving grandmother but she couldn't get off the path of chasing one bad relationship after another and all of her risky behaviors that ultimately led to three abortions. But God never gave up on Cynthia like he never gives up on you or me and his saving grace protected her from complete destruction and death many times over.

I and were going to hear the amazing rest of the story today.

If you miss the conversation last time, get the CD get the smart phone app the right to Focus on the Family's website to listen to that and of course were also available on YouTube and we did mention last time it Cynthia is an author, speaker and pro-life advocate.

She started healed for life ministries which supports women in the relationships bringing help and hope to the post-abortive community and she's captured her story in the book healed for life, a story of redemption and we have the link in the show notes or call 800 the letter a in the word family. Cynthia welcome back to Focus on the Family. It was difficult listen yesterday. I mean we went through the fact that your family struggled your mom and dad were struggling when you were 12, 13, 14, you kind of wandered off. You became that prodigal daughter right and that led to promiscuity relationships pregnancies at 15 and again and again with 1/3 pregnancy. We did end with the fact that your son, Roman was a twin and you had done abortion, 29, and the one twin was taken you didn't realize and the doctor didn't realize there was another baby and that baby you gave life to me that's Roman your son now who is a fully grown man married and has three children of his own. Let me ask you really for that woman who maybe had the same kinds of struggles just all the way your relationship with the Lord. I mean, I accepted the Lord at 15 and I was in a broken home situation and it took a while to understand what that meant to really give your life to the Lord is probably 2122 when it really, when the spirit really got a hold of me if I could put it that way, and there was bouncing around so I totally relate to what you're saying but describe your relation with the Lord through your 20s is your you're still partying, being promiscuous and God is still leaning into you right listening to you.

I think it's helpful for people to hear that conflict because it's so real it since I don't hear out Friday night and going to church on Sunday. Lord forgive me for what I just did and exactly what you do it again the next weekend. Yes, but cannot go through that what God was saying to your heart how you are getting straight in your soul. You cannot have Jesus this year. You know your friend out here but then you have nothing here consciously, while I'm sitting on Friday and am redeeming on Sunday. I think you living life in the world. It's conflict is conflict.

You celebrate Harold Wright and you're not supposed to be and you know you're not supposed to be evident that your and this is where you know counseling women and you can't deny the consequences.

You can't deny what she faces when she gets back out there and so how do you reconcile the two had he become Palm with the truth of God and who he is and so for me, God was so kind in my lot.

It took a life change in the form of a baby surviving and abortion being that dramatic for me to go God is real because there's no explanation for how Roman can survive William, and I was so far gone that he had to redeem me by having me recognize life and in choosing what, in fact, I want to push the story forward in that regard because here you are, you're not married your South Carolina Dennis on my own country that do take Roman home and now you begin to wrestle with the Lord rightly, but I want a husband I need a house. My son needs a husband. Yes, I could see that feistiness and knew the shaking of the fittest like God would've done this for this reason, don't leave me hanging out here in my filling in the blanks adequately, but any describe that now you're in this struggle with the Lord.

For more Lord, I'm trusting you. I get I said yes to Roman.

Now where's your yes I was a little feisty because here I am still you know maybe puffing a cigarette now and again. And I remember saying okay I chose life and I remember Saxena saying I'm ready for my tall dark handsome good Christian millionaire and Lord of asking that a single that he adores you he loves you, but that he loves Roman first and then he loves me because in my mind I was tainted goods now I was tainted goods, and I said so I'm gonna quit dating until you bring him to me and I remember going back into my office and coming back outgoing and I'd like 3.4 carrots are better on my ring because I'm 34 and Eve made me wait while I wouldn't pray that way today. But God in his grace brought me a man that didn't look anything like what I prayed for in the Lord simply and gently said he's tolerating you his hair used to be dark comics like Richard Gere silver hair allies. He said he's handsome because he's my son. He's a good man and he adores me and I truly believe that is a piece of God himself tossed down. I don't recommend missionary dating but when God brings in a healing agent in the form of a husband and marriage.

It is exponentially greater than you can think or imagine. You don't think you are so many audience thoughts on.

Try to process right now hot and well that woman were she's where you were at me. Maybe she did say yes to keep her child, and God bless you for that and she's now that's the same Lord. Where's my husband and you know you start laying out those fleeces and you start to describe what you want, you know, I that's all fair. Chris comes in your life. How did you talk about what has happened to you.

How did he respond, you had to be somewhat afraid about what this man really love me if he really knows me at will she or he love me if he or she really knows me right.

That's one of the core problems in marriage right we don't feel we can be that honest, describe the foresighted person you talk about all that junk.

The first eight years were terrible. Okay, he'll not like appreciate that. I said that we had a good marriage that he had a lot of hurdles to overcome with me because I was unredeemed time I was leaving out all the demons in my life and the insecurity and sexual behavior because I had only known it in ways that were not God ordained so coming into the intimacy of marriage. He was kind and loving and gentle and patient, long-suffering, and enduring and really help me see when Abigail now now now he did say husband and wife. This is and he would refer to Scripture with love and gentleness, so we get to the eighth year of our marriage, and he recognizes years still broken up, he recognizes the trigger points were the abortions and the pain it entered in and the trauma. Quite frankly, and he was the one that recommended hey, some of our spinning students that we work out with her on the board of the local pregnancy center want you go servant is referencing John 15 now give your healing away because he was a worship leader were in the church. Now I'm a worship leader's wife hiding the pain pushing aside the sand and I go volunteer to live it out hopefully make my joy complete and of course enter postabortion healing with a real healing began well this is Focus on the Family with Jim Daly.

Our guest today is Cynthia Wentz. What a powerful testimony she has and she's captured so much of it in her memoir healed for life story of redemption and will encourage you to look for a copy of that online of the link is in the show notes or call one 800 K and the word family, let's move into how that kind of catapulted you into committing to the pro-life movement mean you are the poster child for this movement in so many ways right. I mean people.

A lot of people have incredible stories you have, like superduper incredible story here in God's given you the testimony belongs to him. You have to look out but it's a story that's exactly right. In that context, then what were your next steps you raise. Chris get things together God's blessing you you stay together.

That right there is a blessing.

Chris is in the audience. I could see him so it's happening it's working you're both smiling, how many years later Helen you been married 2020.

So speak to getting engaged now in the pro-life movement. What was that entry point and why go back to your pain. He recommended I go volunteer.

The pregnancy center give my joy away to make my joy complete in Chris. My husband and I began serving in the wise young 24-year-old Executive Director said if you post abortive you need to get to postabortion healing. I did, I went in a very proud worship leaders wife and about six weeks into the 10 week program broke the Lord said this is for you, and I began to reconcile that first pregnancy and I went there the second time as a volunteer and reconciled the second pregnancy I went to postabortion healing 1/3 time. That's where I was able to look in the mirror for the first time and see myself not as a shamed woman that is a simple woman of God, but some years on that is left in treasured workups present the hallway and creeping with me. I later went on to run the pregnancy center for five years. We took it from a you know just the time in 08, no nine where that economy had fallen out. We had a negative budget and we went into a multimillion dollar budget. We were just under 2 million is a pregnancy center with three locations :-) because I think it be hard to say no to you as a donor. You have your $10,000. Well that I bolster 20 gap because now, as I cannot speak pregnancy centers. The thing that I say is, let me help you with your fundraising because the money is God's kingdom and its easy to bring in for the right reasons in life is always the right reason, no kidding yourselves such a right thing to support with everybody everything and so good. Let me ask you with Roman Romans an adult. He's married his children now have you ever sat down with him and talked about him being the survivor so the Lord did that for me as I began writing the ring, the pregnancy center.

My story got out there and you're thinking to yourself how I tell my kid I aborted you your keys and hate me and so I was on the phone at my home counseling. A woman who had just come through miscarriage. We were talking about reproductive grief and loss, and as I was counseling her and praying her in recommending the Christie novel song about you now seem to have vanished beautiful song Lori Fabian Roman overheard the whole thing and he walked into my room is eight years old at the time and he began asking me questions and I could just feel a gentle nudge in the spirit to just answer and say anything. Mom did you as I was telling her my story. Did you get. I have a twin yes is where is my twin in heaven.

Did you want me Roman. You're the best gift God has ever given me okay is it and then he began speaking on shows with me and then he went. We went to the capital together and he wrote chapter 13 in my book's birthdays May 13 settled in in the defendant. Now he's married and focus on family and children and he is in his own swirl that he embraces and appreciates the miraculous nature of the story. Looking at that.

That's one aspect of the book you talk about going to the state capital in Texas and testifying describe all the swirl of the pregnancy center and the growth of it brought some attention to the story, the miraculous nature of it. One of the right to life groups called and said hey which he tests find a I was like I don't think you should print out on that and went to my prayer closet kneeling and down Lord now, or save in my sleep pregnancy centers enough quantity.

This, in the Lord had me turn my head when she reckless in my closet and I saw a pair of red pumps and it was just in that moment wife like the Lord said, because it's not about you. Your history to your point is his story and he said you're walking on the blood of the Lamb.

I am the one telling the story and by Revelation 1211 by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony. What God does is make known okay and so I packed up my red heels which I'm wearing today and went to the state capital said Romulan ghetto school come with mom. The answer is yes cool and in my mind at that time I wasn't thinking he would lock up with me.

I just thought let's go.

Respect our state officials. Let's go see the capital in action.

And so we drove down and you wait hours in the House of Representatives and the lands come forward by setting an assortment bring my son with me because Roman and leaned over to Tyco up with you. I said Pray and that he got a yes.

Then we went up and I gripped my hands on the podium because in my insecurity at the time I thought I don't want to be too dramatic. I want to be heard and would be received as a serious intentional woman crept on the podium put those hands down and held on said like this gentleman. What we didn't get what was inside of me, son. Just need the JV water polo team at his high school and he was swimming then and he's swimming now and I had a right to know what was inside of me godless of the choice I would make had a right to be informed if I was making a choice. I had a right to all of the information and room and put his arm around me and in that moment house leader comes up over that chair were in Texas right pieces. Best thing I've seen all day. House reps with applause and everybody's clapping room and pulls back his shoulders and I'm, you know, grabbing my chest and the sonogram bill passed in the state of Texas that it was required before abortion we got to be part of the annals of history in Texas. You know it's amazing in that regard.

That's our option, ultrasound, what you have seen when we that's placing ultrasound equipments and pregnancy resource centers and an additional trainings that we do to help train them to use the equipment, etc. a majority of women will and these are abortion minded women will choose life when they get the counseling and the picture to your point when they can see the ultrasound that makes this huge difference. Yes, it's not Bob tissue is a baby, you can see the arms, the legs, the fingers and you know were always demonized. I've been in those debates.

I've been called all kinds of things. It is not true but at the same time I have compassion for them to they are blind people chuckles once told me you don't get mad at a blind person who steps on your foot people in the abortion industry.

We think about if they knew what they were doing from God's perspective.

I don't believe they do it. They just don't see it. The spiritually blind and that's what were trying to do is open the hearts up to the fact that these are human beings.

These are babies and we need to help them and I'm so grateful for what you've done throughout your life for me and all the turmoil all of the pain and now you're sitting here focus on the family and talking about. Thank you Lord Roman and your son and helping other women and I think this might be a good place to go, Cynthia. Again, I'm just I can't get away from women that haven't gone through the healing process gone through an abortion. Let's be honest it happens in the church's and women are holding that and they feel guilty and they haven't really reconciled where they're at with God. They still carry a lot of shame and guilt speak to her right now. At the end. What would you say to her pure counseling. Her you called me a poster child. 26 supportive symptoms that a woman is challenged by I was the poster child of all 26 in the book of Romans. We can exchange the lies she's believing for truth liberated to left and I would say take the journey through the book of Romans. Go back and redeem ally bringing into truth is a journey does require help, God will gently peel back like he did with me. The artichoke of healing. I'll be a part of that my goal to raise the post-abortive voice, the one healed and one healing toyed with the idea of the ministry being called poster child medical cycle liberated to laugh because there's hope you Cynthia couple of occasions I've met people in the abortion industry have incredibly frank discussions no promissory people's confidential but the there is some regret that I could hear in them if I could say it that way, that there was a sense that there are better options doesn't make our day to do what we do what we do believe it should be a woman's right to choose, and you know all those typical statements. You have a powerful story of a woman who was vehemently defending her right to abortion. Describe the discussion and how there's days I want to stand up and say God is pro-choice.

Stay with me.

I'm with you. Deuteronomy 3019. Today I set before you life and death, but choose life that were not God's puppets. He gives this choice so only make those choices with choice comes consequence.

I am a mother to three children that live in heaven.

The consequence of their lives being lost doesn't go away I don't get to see them until I get there. The woman in the state capital. This is the compassion got deposited us the imminently defended a child.

She waited forever to have at 16 weeks she got a spina bifida diagnosis. As I was testifying the capital. She was testifying in the capital. She was in hysterics and as I looked at her. I sat back and I thought I just want to have a conversation with her and say I don't think Sir I would tell her she's wrong. I don't want to scold her. I don't want to shame her. I want to say I understand what that feels like I am so sorry for your loss and I wonder this is the question asked were no longer in a day and age where I am pro-life or pro-choice, where past that water her circumstances and how can we make abortion unthinkable, so that life is the obvious and only choice and it's gonna come through the poster child of redemption. The poster child of family transparency truth, and the willingness to journey through that truth. I wonder if she is so stuck in the pain she's never unpacked the white what is and has never had anyone journey with her in love to get to that place where she can make that child to rest because you have to defend what you think is right is the second you realize you took the life of the 16 week child out of your women then you have to realize you take a knife and that's unbearable. So what happens vehemently defend what you did and the truth of it is God's heart is for her for her, not against her. You don't have to say I've had an abortion God's forgiven me and tucked away. You have an abortion God holy restores and fully redeems that moment in time. What is the truth of where that child is now hello, -1, one of the labels somewhere. How can I be fully present, fully transparent in the truth and retell the story but not reliving, and it's God's wholeness God's wellness.

I don't know how a woman would deem some reconciles an abortion without that's so true Cynthia I want to choose these words really carefully.

This is been painfully good. I think you already relate to that and I hope the listeners catch it. This isn't about relishing promiscuity or that life you were. It's really rejoicing and what God is done for you and what God is there to do for each one of us, whatever that pool of pain. This is for us and he just wants us to lean into him to accept him and then that wonderful truth is worked out in our life. And again, you're such a great example.

Thank you Jerry, thanks for being with us.

Think you will return to the listener. I hope that you have been impacted. These last couple of the center story is an amazing story and here focus or we are getting up every day working in this pro-life space there so many wonderful pregnancy resource centers around the country. First, I want to encourage you to go volunteer Cynthia used to be in charge. What would that be awesome if you had 100 volunteers show up yet can we help and support the local resource center near you and focus were doing our part, we again are trying to equip these clinics to be able to do those ultrasound so these abortion minded women can see their baby get the counseling they need and choose life and I hope you can participate with us. You know the metrics Cynthia new you know this working in the clinic world for us now doing this over 1617 years. We got down to $60 to save a baby's life for $600 to do the abortion and I hope the Lord is challenging you. Can you help us a one-time gift of $60 or every month.

Save the baby's life was $60.

I mean it is working and were nearing half a million babies saved in the optional show program.

Thank you Lord and to him all the glory goes I can't beg or plead any more than this you want to do something for the kingdom.

And for those women and men that are struggling in the specific area support focus and support the testimonies of the Cynthia is that you haven't heard from that you will touch this is your opportunity to do ministry through Focus on the Family partner with us. Make your donation today.

Our numbers 800 the letter a in the word family or stop by the episode notes for the link, and when you make a donation of any amount would be pleased to send a copy of Cynthia's credible shield for life story of redemption will have a great weekend with your family and your church family as well and please join us again on Monday for a look at how to navigate expectations in your marriage often call. Expressing their expectations that they so much desire requesting different things expectations from your spouse and they forgets all about on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team.

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