Offering Hope to Families Experiencing Drug Addiction (Part 2 of 2)

Well you know your people, especially in Colorado. Marijuana is not a gateway drug that's fine. People want to believe that but for me it was everybody that I ever knew there was a myth started with marijuana so right. I think the evidence is strong is right right that's Mac: describing his own painful and nearly destructive journey with drug addiction, Mac and his wife Mary are back with us today on Focus on the Family your hostess focus Pres. and Dr. Jim Daly and I'm John Fuller, John. We had a powerful conversation last time with Mac and Mary grew up right in the middle of the drug revolution that this nation, during the 60s and 70s and even though they came from loving Christian homes. They were drawn to a party lifestyle at that time and would leave their youth group to join their friends and drinking and smoking marijuana, and even experimenting with harder drugs. That was a normal part of their everyday life. But underneath all of what they considered fun and getting high were feelings of guilt and shame especially for Mary who had been taught since childhood about giving your life to the Lord and following him day-to-day. Tragically, I think many Christian family struggle with the same issues now. There is a growing momentum in the US to legalize drugs, especially marijuana and were already seeing the harmful consequences in traffic deaths, overdoses, and simply what marijuana can duty your apathy, you're just not motivated to get out there and pursue productive lives, and we are hearing from parents who are rightly concerned about their teens and young adults who are at risk of course focus is here to help if you're dealing with this kind of an issue in we have caring Christian counselors that are available to talk with you. Pray with you and direct you to resources call to schedule a time with one of those counselors are numbers 800 232-645-9800 the letter a in the word family or look for a link to the counseling team in the episode notes.

The good news is there is hope and McNamara have documented their story in a book called never let go God story of healing hurting lives and we want to pick up the story right there and let me say Mac and Mary, welcome back to Focus on the Family. Thank you.

Let's go here we mentioned last time that you almost died of an overdose. Tragically, you had mixed to drugs, paint the picture of what happened because this again as we said last time is one of those moments where God got your attention obviously the last was when you went to get drugs and had your two daughters in the car and that just made an impact on you about the danger of it.

Describe what happened here where you felt like this could be the end. Most addicts have a fairly grandiose type of thinking and if a little bit is good that a lot must be better and so at this point in my addiction I had moved to doing something I said I would never do and that was injecting drugs. I was scared of needles us never do that, but a friend introduced me to another. While this is really good. And so it took me to that next level and then another friend said, you know, if you do math and mix little cocaine with it and will even be better. While I did that and unfortunately people in the addiction end-of-life. Don't realize it were not dealing with Dow pharmaceutical drug dealing with people who make this stuff in a bathtub somewhere and so I got some drug, some cocaine, some math mixes together and at the point I injected it my heart I could feel it just stopping and I for I was on the bathroom floor is laid on the floor could not get up after about 15 minutes. I crawled into the living room crawled up on the couch and sat there or laid there for about the next two hours, until Mary came home and at that point I had. I realize that I wasn't going to die or didn't think I was, but in that. Until Mary came home at two hours. I thought the whole time I was going but again at that point. That's when God is clear, small voice said what are you doing what are you doing and I heard that but I still chose not to really listen to it. I heard it but I didn't listen to that make telling us yeah I get that and I will make sure people listening. This isn't about lifting up the life of a drug addict at all. I mean this is a breaking process of going through. Let me ask the question that probably in your recovery program that you lead is often a question that an adequate us. Why am I doing this to myself why it into that there is not a good reason. Our good answer to that question other than the fact it starts out fairly innocently just a good time.

Good times with some good friends and then before you know it it ends up in a place where you can't stop it. Your body and and I this is my own belief, but I don't believe this is a disease. I believe this was the choice that I made. By this time in my choice of using drugs. My body was saying you can't live without this because it had become a part of every one of the cells in my body and so my body craved it and so I needed more and more.

So again it wasn't that you know that thing were I woke up one day and said I might be an addict that almost nobody does. And I don't know what it is that it almost happens unaware and overnight. He wake up and you, your body craves it so bad. I think some people from us being in recovery for so long. All the stories that we've hired a lot of times people will start smoking pot or drinking or whatever it is that they start doing is because they have this pain there some kind of pain in their life that they want to numb and this numbs that pain where they don't have to think about it anymore.

But then all of a sudden that little bit they did. That doesn't work anymore so they have to take a little more to numb it again in desk and how it starts right. It is to escape that pain that there feeling maybe something happened in childhood, etc. Mac you then. Mary's going to church, you have an encounter with your daughter.

I think it was Callie and she said something I think she was only four years old. I remember the story correctly describe what went on how this was now the third event that I'm aware of reading the book. This was the third in breaking point in my life where I had been awake for a week and that's them literally had not been asleep for seven days. It was a Saturday night. I came in early probably's five or 6 o'clock in the morning to go to bed Sunday morning while they went to church and so I came and got bad just hoping that they would leave me alone not say anything to me and just I just really that point knew I needed some sleep.

While our youngest daughter Callie came in the bedroom as Mary was getting ready in the bathroom I'm laying in the bed. Callie comes and stands beside the bed and looks at me with talks to her mom and said that he doesn't do anything with us anymore. How come that he doesn't go to church with us anymore. And in that moment I heard that Mary, who was at this point a classic codependent and didn't want to ruffle the waters in any way said you need to leave your daddy alone. He's been working hard, he need some sleep and she said Callie said well he's not going to church. I'm not going to go either and that's what I heard in that moment, God told me I was, not only killing myself but I was killing everybody. I claimed to love and I would say love. But if I really love them will be doing the things that I was doing so all this complex going through my mind right now and I just said they just need to leave so I just acted like I didn't hear anything and just waited for them to leave when they laughed God use that little girl that morning break my heart. I went outside immediately got all my drugs paraphernalia. Everything went outside and burned everything because I knew if I didn't I would use again.

So I said I just got clear the house of everything. So I went and got everything out there. Came in and I start writing Mary a letter and remember now. I still haven't been asleep right for a week but I start writing her a letter and telling her everything that I've done and what I've been doing and was there any way that she could ever forgive me and that we can have a normal I just him writing all that stuff down so I left for church with the girls.

I was just I was crass because I thought thought I was keeping it a good secret for my kids and that they weren't knowing that they and their daddy weren't getting along really well and some went to church that morning and the last song of the day was actually the sermon was on confession and how good it is for the cell, Goodenough think how man I wish I could tell somebody else going on in my life.

In the last of the day as it is well with myself and thought he was saying and I said it's not well with my soul is not well with our kids, and it's not well with Mac and I just want to run out the building and I cried the whole way home. The girls were singing church songs in the back of the car and just happy and I get home and I see him sit in his recliner and he had this yellow notepad and financing and he been crying and I hadn't seen ever cry before. Since we've been married because room" rest without yeah and so he said I need to tell you something and so he started tell me what I've been doing and I was just dams like I'm just thankful to know what is going on with the said let's call our pastor and let's get some help now and I know I will say that that was the first time I could remember crying really crying and what I found in those tears that morning was relief like I've never known my life and just flooded over me yeah what I mean.

I think I understand the core of that transition but if you can elaborate on it for me. I mean it was at the theater that you were going to lose your family the fear that you were in many ways crushing your family that your daughter would never know God, because of your behavior.

All of that or what am I missing it was all about, and the fear that I would be lost forever. Then finally came into the picture. Okay so my daughter who God used to break my heart that morning was the catalyst for me saying not only might you lose my family. I want to lose me. And so when Mary came home that morning and and said can we talk to the pastor. My first response was well I told you I'm changing.

What more do you want me to disease that that was a sufficient good first wrote a letter to them changing their let's go. And that leads and even to the rehab you entered program you were convinced that you really needed it, which is also kind of addict behavior. I mean, some people aren't quite there yet. I I'm functional I can do this by making progress. Don't bug me. Praise God and the Holy Spirit that Mary was being directed by the Holy Spirit because she stepped out of her codependency and said I don't care what you said we need to talk to somebody that's good and so that's when the pastor came over that afternoon and met with us and said you know you don't have to tell the rest of the church. This because again I would show up at church enough that if I thought I was a faithful member to just because of my attendant uses busy I was bit is a bit ago and also help build the church building and so anyway the pastor came over and said, look, you don't have to share this with anybody else but if you do it might help someone else is struggling with addiction to yeah and so that night it at our church.

I went down for altar call and I just told him I said look, a drug addict and I need help and I really thought that they were going tell me we don't want your kind around here, but that's not what they did. They said well your first drug addict. We don't know quite what to do with you, but we want you to keep coming back for his honesty and everybody heard that loud and clear to yeah I can keep coming back right, not that they didn't know what to do with me. But there was little lady there that didn't know exactly what to do and she came up to Mary and myself and said Mac I think you need to go to AA and I said is that like a car club. Jesus know that's AAA you need AA Alcoholics Anonymous and so along with that. She also told me about a rehab that she could we go to I could talk to yeah October is that I really don't need a rehab I'm going to do better, but if you want me to go talk to the guy will go talk to the guy but you'll see he will want me to stay but I got there and talk to the guy because he didn't want me to stay in a civil I got my stuff. I knew he was going to say that. So I packed him a bag and put it in the trunk ahead of time and I said that's okay your steps in the trunk and he looked at me like way and so he stayed at norming that's great and all that takes courage. Mac mentioned in the book the friends that you had the didn't for whatever reason and I would like to tackle this they didn't heed any warnings they didn't get off the highway of the drug culture and what happened. Most of them if not all of them. Most of them are not alive today, which is pretty tragic disease were people that I grew up with, but in this this moment of clarity that I had when our youngest daughter came in and Kellan talk to me.

I knew at that point that I had to separate myself from these friends and you know that's easier said than done. When this is the people you grew up with and so I stopped associated with any of my old friends, but from a distance I watched them continue to go down this road of drug addiction and an sadly enough, many of them died because you know it was ironic though that they didn't think less of me for getting off drugs as a matter fact in years that come later on down the road when any of them had any problems. Death in the family. Whatever it was they would always call me and say let's call Mike because he'll know what he became, like their pastor right right of that group of people. That's really interesting and you know I'm reminded of the beginning of your story. When we first started talking last time about doing this for fun going to the keg party.

Mary described that these people were not judgmental. Everybody just seem to be having fun.

But for those listening, especially those of us with teenagers that the need to open up the dialogue and talk about that journey and where it most likely will end with death and destruction so critical to have that kind of conversation. Maybe this is the catalyst for that conversation. It takes courage.

But one of the reasons we wanted to have Mac and Marianas because the power of their testimony. This is the work of God in their lives, and we shouldn't bury it or hide from it. We should celebrate the fact that they chose life, not death, and that's why were airing the program and I know people can be critical that we don't want to elevate drugs we don't want you to make that sensational, not about that. It's about teaching your teenagers particularly what it means to choose unwisely.

I'm glad you use the word critical. I use the word vital yes conversation with our kids is vital its life and death. Yes because that's what's ecstatic not only their physical death, their spiritual death to and if we don't have a place in our homes. We can talk about anything yet it is so important to have a safe place in the home needs to be that Mac Mary owner with us today on Focus on the Family sharing their dramatic story about drug addiction and how God intervened to rescue Mac from almost certain death will thanks for downloading this podcast from Focus on the Family, please leave a review on iTunes or wherever you're getting the content and make sure you tell a friend about this as well. Let me continue. The recovery time you unpack your bag from the trunk, which is terrific. Thank you Mary for thinking ahead, that's incredible. But you did go through withdrawals you started to feel the pain of that math is a terrible thing to withdraw from and that would describe what that was like what was the onset like how did unfold for you. What first I'll say this, I was sleeping 16 hours a week on average week when I got into treatment. I was sleeping 16 hours a day while yeah because my body was just it was just tired of my biggest withdrawal was just finding a place where I could sleep and then that the the hospital I was and it was a medical detox so they gave me lithium so I said at this point they were afraid if I just stopped cold turkey that I can have some hard issues in a cardiac arrest of our vet so they gave lithium for about three or four days and I just let you know. And let me same for a week because there yeah because I said he is in critical condition that you know he might not survive this. Because they could not believe how much he had in his body that it it could kill him and so basically he's just got a rest with that. Give him some medicine and so will will let you know when you come same, but now I will say this to were not rule out how God the Holy Spirit help me through that withdrawal with the church family.

This church family that said, we don't know quite what to do with you the next Sunday when I'm in rehab. They stop the service and wrote cards that the passive times of her screenwriter card and by what I want to write a card Mac. So on Monday morning at 700 cards.

My goodness, saying we love you.

Here's our favorite verse God's pulling for you to make it through and so I had such a love and support from this church family. I believe there was God and his Holy Spirit working through that. To help ease my addiction pains that this is a 30 day program which I've come to find out that most thirty-day programs are great way to take your money there. Not a great way to get you off addiction within. That's my follow-up question because so many programs the person doesn't achieve their goal or achieve a goal of getting off of the drugs that's why support is so vital. Yeah, it's gotta be if you don't have support and that's why I only went 19 days after 19 days in the program. I didn't asked to leave.

They said we think you're ready to leave for Mecca.

Mary, as we close today. I think we need those practical handholds for parents and for individuals who are maybe you are in to drug addiction and they're not even sure how to get out and what they can do give us some of those practical insights from your recovery program and what you seen with the people you've counseled what are some of those things that we need to be aware of for our own addictions as well as maybe our children are those around us.

What one thing that we've learned. I think they 30 years in recovery is that everyone has some kind of heart or hang up her habit and we've all been hurt her with heart somebody else and we hurt ourselves that everyone has had some kind of pain at some point in their life. So that's why we love about the recovery program that we work with celebrate recovery.

Is it deals with that the 12 steps, Christ centered 12 stamps and eight Beatitudes we talk about each one, and that is we had them as recovery principles and so it's actually a family recovery ministry where we had it for the children age appropriate for teens, and then for adults and this is our new addiction. Now a scene change lives because we see it every day and it is just so exciting to see where someone has come before and it might not even be a drug addiction or alcohol. There it could be anger codependency. Yeah, gambling what ever you know any artists abuse, sexual abuse, something will it take you away from God daily intake takes you away from a healthy relationship with the Lord and that in that regard, and that you know again it's just one of those expressions of the human failing right in the fallen world, the sin nature that we possess in our nature is when we have people in our lives a child and uncle or whatever that has these problems will send them somewhere they'll get help and then they'll be okay for us to be around while my suggestion is find a sober recovery and go with them because if they've got this hurt in their life and you don't want to be around them than they'd also put hurt in your lives that you need to deal with to and so no silver cover is in over 35,000 churches is a great you know and then 23 different languages been translated, and because let Mary sit. Everybody got some hurt.

Have her hang you Mary in this is good to mention I mean you're watching Mac go through his issues over years right. Since you were a teenager and in you participated pulled away participated pulled away begin to pray work on your own life with the Lord. Yet you still needed some help to mention several times I have this tendency and I didn't even know what codependency was at the time I thought being a Christian meant saving others from themselves and so whenever he turned his life around. I was like a cell.

Exciting.

I thought so anybody only start recovery ministry. Before we knew about celebrate recovery weight start another one and I wanted every person to have what we had. So I started out I had major control issues, and I didn't even know it because I thought if I can just fix them or tell them what they need to do, then maybe they'll get their life straight yes and then when I finally realize you know I can't be anybody's Holy Spirit. All I can do is work on myself and say what worked for me and go with that. Now, instead of trying to fix that you actually thought when I turn my life around that that was the point where things will be okay in the white picket fence with a government play would have a couple dogs and all that stuff in. Yes, I did actually, I just got myself well.

In fact, when I went to see Mac in rehab when I was driving across the light going to sing for that first time I heard a voice say you're going to tell your story and about had a heart attack because I thought I'm not telling a story to anybody.

He's just going to get well and working to move on with our life and then heard it again. You can tell your story to many, many people I was just I couldn't believe it and that I just I don't know where this is coming from that that's not happening that you go to meetings with me. Go to and that was really instrumental in my room yeah yet. First she just went and I thought he'll get face will be good to come with me and so I did and let's start going with them. I start realize man I've got some issues myself and I gotta stand up for myself and say what I believe instead of just what was on other people that were inclusive to not just the party people. We found people in recovery were extremely inclusive group of people to and they were having fun and they remembered what they did. The next day and that's a good thing is so good and I know it's going to help so many people to kind of capture the more thereat. Make them think I like your daughter. You know that he doesn't have to go to church. I don't want to go to church. You don't want that is a legacy and you certainly don't want to see your teenagers go down that path either. So this is been terrific.

This is a reminder of what a person's testimony. What a couple's testimony can do to help change lives.

Thank you so much Mac and Marion for being with us.

Thank you so appreciate your vulnerabilities. You shared with us these past couple of days and as a listener. I hope you been encouraged by the conversation with Mac and Mary and I let me remind you that we have their book available. It's called never let go God story of healing hurting lives.

In fact John, I'd like to provide a copy of that book to anyone who is able to send a financial gift to Focus on the Family today to help us do ministry.

We need friends like you who will support our efforts to rescue and strengthen families who are in trouble and thanks to the generosity of our friends. We've seen marriages saved and parents empowered to raise godly children and so much more, but we need your ongoing support so please be generous when you get to Focus on the Family today and you can donate to and get a copy of Mac and Mary's book when you click the links in the episode notes or call 800 K and the word family and if our conversation today is raised concerns about your own family. We do recommend you contact us to set up a time for a phone conversation with one of our caring Christian counselors will be happy to hear your story and pray with you when pointing to resources in your local area color number to get that started again. It's 800 K word for coming up. A simple way to regain control of your busy schedule sometimes was loving. He can do is say no, so you can say yes to the right things and unleash that peace that joy that comes from something like on behalf of Jim Daly in the entire team. Thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family I'm John Fuller inviting you back.

As we once more help you and your family thrive in Christ and I knew my marriage was falling apart.

I just did not affix.

I felt like I would always be alone even if I stayed married at Focus on the Family's hope restored marriage intensive. We offer hope to couples in crisis so they can have the marriage they've always dreamed for the first time I felt like my husband truly heard me. I received some great tools from the counselor said of change my life and my marriage to begin the journey of finding health go to hope restored.com today