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June 28, 2021 6:00 am
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Subscribe today@focusonthefamily.com/kids bags clubhouse and clubhouse Junior award-winning magazines full of games of stories and God find them@focusonthefamily.com/kids may never hear Bible stories he can't then often it just seemed like fairytales. I grew up going to church but I don't remember hearing the words and I thought most important either for insurers faith with me a few years ago. I realize I'd gone to church for 20 years, but I didn't know what the gospel was unfortunately those are some pretty common experiences. Many people grew up in the church, but they never hear the good news the gospel of Christ today on Focus on the Family. We have some great advice on reading God's word with your kids and how to give them a firm foundation for life your hostess focus Pres. and Arthur Jim Daly and I'm John Fuller, John. We've highlighted some fascinating research from a good friend of ours Dr. Kerr Powell she's out of Fuller theological seminary, and they found that a startling number of kids drift from the faith, but a number of them to come back over time. But sadly, some don't. Some kids grow up in Sunday school and church and youth group and they still leave their homes, believing Christianity is a list of do's and don'ts simply behaviors and they don't have a good grasp of the gospel of the core message of the Bible salvation through Christ and Christ alone right and is come to pave a way for us to spend eternity with them. If you're an adult you don't understand that not all of us because that's the core mission here Focus on the Family the good news is, if your parent that you're in the best position to lead your child to God's word and teach them the good news, and don't be fooled.
The research is clear on this 270 80% of teenagers say their most important relationship as their mom and dad.
So don't let culture, throw dirt over that relationship and believe in the relationship you have with your kids and I'll be the first to admit, sometimes you know getting on a steady reading habit with your kids can be difficult but plow ahead. I remember with her and Troy. We were really consistent reading the word with them coming up until 17, 18, and then obviously we kind of expected them to do it on their own at today will have advice to help you open the Bible with your family and maybe a little bit every day is such a worthwhile investment. And I know God will bless that effort absolutely dinner guest.
I think shares that conviction.
Danica Cooley is a mom, a children's book author and Bible curriculum developer and she has a book that word and be talking about today.
Help your kids learn and love the Bible and will encourage you to check that out.
Details are in the episode notes or call one 800 the letter a in the word family dedicate welcome to Focus on the Family thinking. I'm so honored to be here this your first time.
Right now, that's fine. We love that and you have been working hard, not only as a mom but also with curriculum development, all kinds of things. I guess the first question is where you find time laughing and writing about the battle for kids. Since 2009, and a lot of it a dead late at night when realtor started yeah it really glad they wanted to be present for them and I wanted to participate in their daily home schooled so they were there all the time and so yeah I date late at night and then as they became more independent and got involved in sports and go to practices that it would work during that time. That's amazing.
And speaking of that, you have four children two or older, and then you have the two teens to teen boys yeah so I can relate there.
I'm 17 and 18. I love it.
In fact, you reference an argument that you had break them up and I guess I'm going to go right to the heart.
What was going on and why do you have to break up this argument with your boys but I sent them to brush their teeth to get a written essay I wanted them to go to bed.
I was in a hurry and I sent them an argument and I thought maybe someone and squeeze the toothpaste tube, and they came barreling out with their little and toothbrushes and said you know mom.
We need you to solve something for SNA that okay they made. This is a productive argument. We are arguing about burning bush, where God talks to Moses. We need to now with it and God the father, God the sign in the place and remember thinking, I don't know is happening here.
I thought that a lot.
I just don't know is happening here, but to take them to church with us for the first service and then go to Sunday school and they come down with us and under the pews and like coloring thought we were setting a tone for attending church later in their life. But it turns out they were listening to our pastors and serve in that day about Chris Stephanie's and theophanies, and the difference between God the father, God the son appearing in the Old Testament, and then they took it and applied it to a story they knew really well and then they wanted to know how that turned out so that that really spoke your heart obviously about how much a child or young child can absorb comes to I think we often his parents underestimate that right idea kids absorbed and taken so much and what we came to believe is it might as well be God's word everywhere that we can introduce that we might as well incorporate God's word into our lives because it becomes the fabric and foundation of their lives sure you know, one of the practical questions for so many, especially if you have both parents working outside the house. How do you move that up in the to do list of everything else, like feeding and clothing and we do have to keep our kids alive. I think that the primary boys by the healing of girls yeah yeah boys and so we want to keep them alive, but I do think that after that. Our primary goal is to introduce some scripture and I think it can be done in 10 or 15 minutes a day and for us. Our strategy has been to make that a part. I read them.
So every day. My kids insist on eating, they are just stickers about it right now. What happens over 6 feet and he can't know you know we have at least three meals a day and so what we did was attach scripture and prayer to our meals to their hamburgers. Yeah Scripture. So now, after breakfast go and pray and read a chapter or three chapters of the Bible and then discuss them because their teens they can handle three chapters you mentioned, but it's a good good practical piece of advice. So for younger children was a chapter to another, and then a little older.
Give the age breakdown all about right. So I'm elementary or preschool you know you can do even less.
If you have a diverse right and then fair elementary you can do a chapter a day for middle grade we get to chapters and then for teens, usually three chapters. I depend on their schedule.
So sometimes it's only a chapter and right you know you're busy yeah the ideas regular steady diet of Scripture right is awesome yes you some parents and can we get theirs a variety of parenting styles and we know that we know that we emphasize different things in different moments. But fundamentally, when you look at it. This is the difference in having your child understand what scriptures about etc. is so important to their true salvation. You know, so it's not just a social response or a family response with so they can make it their own. In that context. Some parents might think that you know the Bible's big book. I mean really you can actually do that and maybe that shows a little bit of an indication of their own inability to sit and read because they're overwhelmed by chapters what whatever might be overwhelming, speak to that idea that no your kids can really digest the scripture and the get yeah it is a big back and it can seem overwhelming. And sometimes we don't even know where to open it rain if we haven't gotten started, so I highly suggest that parents start either in Genesis, or in Matthew and there's pros and cons to each, but that way you your child's getting the story of Scripture and then you just and cycle through so Charlotte's Web is a beginning chapter book for cats. It's around 30,000 words. It's just a little over if you read Charlotte's Web 24 times you would have covered the word count of Scripture. So is yeah and if you're in a spread Scripture out with your kids over three years and you know to say that you could read Charlotte's Web eight times in a year is completely doable and we read books aloud with our kids and so if we break it down in our heads to, you know, I'm just read a chapter a day with my kids and wherever we end up on the timeline is fine as long as were faithful and when we can. We read this chapter a day attached to a major event in our day like dinner or breakfast it becomes completely doable. Sure. So instead of trying to eat the whole thing at once. We can just do it a little at a time. That's a good way to approach Scripture. I remember with my boys when their little younger, I wanted to get them going on the book of Proverbs, and I think especially both boys and girls need that, obviously, but Proverbs really is a great introduction to so many good things for boys, particularly about how to behave and what's important, and who God is, etc. the tenants, the principles you get in the Proverbs 35 in section know don't lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. They could go right there because like that one a lot but then you get into some of the other Proverbs like 79 and I'm going to skip this part right here because it was edgy and human sexuality, and things I didn't feel like they were ready to go toward the exposed to speak to that dilemma in Scripture because the Bible has a lot of heart stuff in battles and about human sexuality.
It's all those issues how to manage that with younger children right so that I can be really edgy and in the historic thanks a lot is that narrative is very descriptive.
So God just lays out there what happened and then we see the consequences that it is not necessarily prescriptive are not supposed to live the sin that is there.
So for a five-year-old. They really don't need to hear. Judges 19 which is the story of the Levi and his concubine, and the tribe of Benjamin.
It is an incredibly violent awful story like as an adult I have a hard time reading it. So I would suggest reading the entire Bible with you teens and that her final to skip that chapter ranges take out the staff that they don't need to know about. Let me ask with a wide range of children so you're talking about at the dinner table you know.
Being able to read a bit of Scripture together when you have in your case. We have the two older children probably in their teens and the younger kids in the single digits.
Is there any difficulty in how to do that for a wide range of age at the same time or do you break it down so that your with the older kids and talking and reading different things and compared to the younger kids. Yes, I suggest that if you have teens in the home.
If there are those edgy chapters that the teens can be asked to rate them on their own and then you can discuss them. That's good.
It is a little entry yeah special thing that they're interested with and you can have a conversation. Maybe after the other kids go to bed and with three little kids like we had my sisters children with us during the day for a couple years on the weekdays, and I didn't want to neglect teaching my cat so I set up boxes of activities enough for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and they were quiet activities and they only saw those boxes during the 20 minutes that I would read chapter with my kids and talk to him about it and this is another eight I tell you as a parent. I'm always surprised by everything by I would ask my kids questions and I hear these sweet little girl voices just pop up with an answer to the question and they had been listening and so on in our kids understands more than we think that if we allow I Littles to do things like put stickers on a page. There's nothing wrong with that yesterday on Focus on the Family is Danica Cooley were talking about her book help your kids learn and love the Bible and it's a great framework for you to grab on to some things and help your children better understand the truths of Scripture. We have copies of that here the link is in the episode notes Danica one thing that's so true with the Scriptures, the multilayers that Scripture communicates to us right you can be a 10-year-old and you get a certain truth by reading it in a course you can be a 67-year-old and you're gonna see something unique and different than what the Lord is exposing you to in your heart and in that context.
The one thing I want everybody to be aware of the Bible is clear about some major points and so when you look at it from that perspective. Tell everybody what the overarching messages of Scripture and why it's important, and the Bible story and God fitted us to understand story and he wrote us a great story of his plan for salvation, which I just think it's amazing. So everything in Scripture points to that great plan for salvation in Jesus Christ by grace through faith that he has for us and on that he has other overarching themes in Scripture that are really important for our kids to now, like who God is, who man is he who humans are our sin nature and our need for a Savior and then his plan for salvation.
And then Jesus's commands for his followers for us as parents. One thing I've really tried to talk to my boys about his identity and you look at the culture today. You know everybody's doing education differently. You homeschool with the charter school others to public more public school or Christian school, and I've come to the conclusion it doesn't matter, you've got to be engaged with your children because in any of those formats.
It's not predictable but it's a perfect environment. The right environment and so use apparently do. Make sure you're taking charge, especially your child's spiritual education and what they know about God etc. and that's why I think it's so critical to make sure that your engaging them in this way reading with them and not relying on Sunday school to do it on one day a week etc. but how over the arc of time 0 to 18 do you keep that fresh between you as a parent and the child to where they're not zoning out okay mom's coming again here we go over doing it again. And how do you correct that attitude so they have an appetite for the most important thing in their life. That's their own salvation. Right. Well, I think that our kids are mirrors of us give you notice if parent labs baseball. The kids usually grow up to love baseball, so I think we communicate to our kids how important and wonderful God's word is a lot of times, by the way that we respond to it.
So when their little we can read using a poppet or different voices. I mean we can make it fun and exciting. We can do activities with them when I take my kids out in the street and we measured with talk that link of Noah's Ark while yeah we went out we measured the length of a sperm whale and had them sit down and it may relate we don't know what swallow Jonah. It was a great sea creature by a sperm whale 52 feet long and it could have been a sperm whale and look how big this is compared to you, so we did stuff like that. Keep them active real practical actually right and then as an as they got older we and we went to Scripture again. We involved them more in what was going on and we learn about the cultures that you know happened in Scripture like Egypt to be with look into that and learn about what the Pharaoh was doing and why God might have felt like he should harden his heart you. pharaoh was claiming to be a God so and that kind of stuff. We got involved in and then if they got older. You know we we had a moral responsibility to them and had them help. We talk about how you present the gospel in 30 seconds yeah how you how you lead your friend to Christ. How you answer objections that your friend might have so let's at some of the pitfalls that you've identified mistakes that parents can make when their reading with their kids and again be age appropriate. Just tell us what age you find this pitfall. One of the ones you talk about birds when I say this you know it. Try to avoid moralizing moralizing. What's that sound like when you're reading Scripture. So I think the Atlantic row are children's character and we want them to behave well and so is easy to moralize Bible stories by if you look at like the book of Esther. We tend to see it as like an apprentice in the right time place in the right time, which is sort of what Esther's about, but we she's brave you know we need to pray like Esther, we can come up with morals to the story, when really what the book of Esther about is about is God's sovereignty, his provision for his people, and so when we look at at different books and stories in the Bible.
It's not about and David being brave. It's about God providing for his people and creating a plan for salvation through the line of David. And that's where were really introduced to David and the whole story is about God. So we need to remember to stick to those main themes of Scripture because not only can we moralizing way off in the weeds with some weird ideas and being able to teach her children to discern these things. That's were familiarity with the word God is so critical and I think sometimes we overcomplicate that his parents as were doing this great work. The work the eternal work that we can underestimate what you talked about earlier. Their absorption of this and then over time application as they grow older. That's the goal right right when you hit a problem. What is the word of God have to say about this and you remember that story. This is just like it. I member funny one, which were interest teaching them how to ride their bicycles out in our driveway and we have kind of a steep drop off the driveway and you know Troy was two years younger so you struggled a bit and Trent was getting a bit prideful. I could see he was riding around the cones I'd set out there like data Fast I'm going I'm really good. I say be careful. Member pride goes before the fall is yeah okay Pam falls down and enjoys like see dad's right pride, but it's those little elements.
We laugh about it now. They're older but we still go back to that moment say well maybe the Lord is teaching is yeah I think and familiarity with Scripture is such a big deal. Knowing the stories and knowing how God works through out history and then I think Scripture memorization is a big deal to you, because the Holy Spirit will bring back his words to our hearts at a time when we need them and we least expect it, and I know he's done that in my life just a couple questions are thin.
Some days you'll try your hardest. I'm sure is apparent, but you still won't get to the Bible reading those challenges the scheduled out-of-control sick child. Whatever might've happened, but in that area where you may have that sick child or may be an emotional teenager. What can you do to not get discouraged. You had a challenging season when you were dealing with several cases of I think pneumonia yourself, how did you and your family get through that hard time and I think it helps to plan for the unexpected. Because we just now it's time people are going to get sick. Where can I go on vacation. Things are going to happen where your routine is thrown off and for me with with pneumonia. That was certainly true. I couldn't have read Scripture to my kids if I wanted to drink. Yeah, it was just done so and we put into our home videos that that relate to the Bible adventures in Odyssey had yeah does and Bible related podcasts that we would listen to that we had and they international children's Bible in an audio cassette and I would just play it for them before they went to bed and they absorbed it in ways that extend expectancy, but there are passive ways of learning the Bible and that you can have available in your home for those times when things just don't work out the way think they're going to you. Reference one of your favorite Scripture. It's kind of a tough Windows the man who has the demon possessed son. Why does that story particularly catch your attention. Have you related that to your own kids so I love that story because the man brings a demon possessed boy his boy to Jesus and that boy has been throwing himself in the fire, and in that water and foaming at the mouth any foams at the mouth in front of Jesus and and he says the man says to Jesus, if you can help us please have compassion. Please help us and Jesus says to them if I can, and he says all things are possible for those who believe in the man says, I believe, and then immediately after that, he says help me with my unbelief and for me that's a great picture of how we like to depend on ourselves and we just really can't do in our own strength. The things that we want to do so.
I pray that prayer all the time, I believe, help me with my unbelief.
I wanted leave my kids to you through your word. Help me to open the Bible today. You know I I want to do these things that are righteous and good, but I also don't want to do them. I also fail. So in the end here. I feel the angst of mom's particularly again on all generalized fear shoe could be on the other foot I get that you don't need to let me know that sometimes can be on foot. I get but for the moms that are carrying a heavy burden because they feel like it's not being accomplished and whatever is in the way my husband's not helpful. He's not taken the lead. He's not whatever and it's a burden. What can they do differently to look at it differently so that they can all participate so the husbands don't pull back and withdraw from the assignment. How can she encourage Bible reading in the study way without discouraging her husband and generally as moms we have more time with her cats and more time at home sometimes dad had different responsibilities. I think we can be joyful and bring Scripture into our daily experience and I think that not making our husbands is a big deal and I think joyfully joining their husbands in raising up our kids for Jesus is important you know we would go on blocks and talk about nature and how God created everything and talk about what what was in Genesis, we would we would pretend put on the armor of God every morning and we forgot about how exciting that was. You can joyfully bring Scripture into your day without. I think without circumventing your husband's authority and without harming your relationship with him and I think sometimes when we are already doing something joyfully husbands are glad to join us and it's also something we can bring to the Lord in prayer. What a great book and I hope this shows folks just the practical advice of how to do something in your parenting journey. That is, I believe the most important thing you can do is always an easy no are there going to be days where your kids are seemingly in tune yes should you do it absolutely and just keep moving forward right and all the creativity in your great book.
Help your kids learn and love the Bible can't even think of another statement that is more critical right it's on the resources people made. So thank you for being with us today.
Thank you, thank you for having me.
I'm honored and let me say this area excite you get a hold of us and if you can make a gift of any amount to support the ministry effort of Focus on the Family will send you a copy of Danica's book is our way of saying thank you you do that monthly.
That's great one-time gift is fine if you can't afford it on trusting others will cover the cost of that we believe in you as a parent and again I've said it over and over. This is the most important job you have is to help your kids understand Scripture so that they can have a biting relationship with Christ is nothing more important and we want to be a part of that with you to get in touch let us know how we can help.
Donate. As you can and get this terrific book from Danica.
Help your kids learn and love the Bible link is in the episode notes or call one 800 K work-family will join us again tomorrow as we have Kathy live.
Some tips and tools about pursuing and living out dreams believe that there is value in writing it down and putting it before God and praying about it and and asking the question. I do believe that so we need to make sure that when we are saying these are my goals. It can be for your benefit, as well as the kingdoms benefit but if there's anything on their is not the kingdoms and only for your needs to be off the list.
That's something you need to deal with Jim Daly and the entire team. Thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family I'm John Fuller and putting it back once more help you and your family thrive in Christ you are asking people to define the word appreciate it's like when something goes up in value. It's telling someone they did a good job Focus on the Family invite you to give a gift, appreciate when you give a non-cash gift of stocks, bonds or mutual funds. You will avoid capital gains tax action and help families thrive for generations to come.
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