Using Your Unique Personality to Share Your Faith (Part 2 of 2)

You've read accounts in the Bible how Christ impacted so many people, but we really know very little about the lives of those early followers of Jesus chosen I've called you by name imagines what life was like those who followed Christ based on the widely acclaimed TV series. The chosen this Focus on the Family book by best-selling author Jerry Jenkins rings color and depth of the people surrounding Christ. You can find out more@focusonthefamily.com/chosen today on Focus on the Family will examine why so many of us struggle to share our faith.

And I remember how I felt.

I thought Kate didn't. I did want to do God's happy with me and I didn't feel the guilt anymore. It's almost like a smoker once have a cigarette. They're not craving it for a while and then a couple months later I was still basking that well. Last time I shared my faith. In fact, last week was somebody in McDonald's and work for a while but then I thought I felt guilty again if I really cared about those people. I probably wouldn't I wouldn't be craving it later. It would just be so satisfying each time and that's when why didn't God make me this way. What if there's a different way. What if it's not the great commission. That's the problem. Maybe it's that I'm listening to the methods and what if there's more methods that I'm hearing that's Dr. Mike Bechtel, recalling his own inner angst about witnessing to others and how God changed his expectations of what effective evangelism looks like and Dr. Bechtel is back with us again today your hostess focus president and author Jim Daly and I'm John Fuller, John. We had a very insightful conversation last time with Mike about what I believe are common misperceptions of evangelism where some have thought, we need to confront people with God's truth instead of befriending them or we viewed nonbelievers as some kind of project or agenda item on our to-do list. Unfortunately, many Christians feel like our responsibility to evangelize is a burden and with completely lost sight of the relational part and what it means to live out our faith in tangible ways before others, I think you're right in there seems to me there's an aspect of fear as well.

Jim, I might say the wrong thing. I might be ridiculed for my beliefs yes and we also talked about introverts like myself and extroverts like you and how that dynamic plays into evangelism, that's all right, John, and the bottom line message from Mike is that you don't have to fit into some kind of prescribed pattern or formula for sharing your faith God can use your unique personality and talents for his purposes.

All you need is a willing heart and a desire to love people. Well everyone I think can do that if you missed our program last time I get the download or get a CD copy from us because this content is so encouraging and faith building and I am looking forward to continuing the conversation with Mike about his book evangelism for the rest of us sharing Christ within your personality style would be happy to tell you more about the book and how to get an audio copy of the last program in today's as well just call 800 K in the word family 800-232-6459 or stop by the episode notes and you'll find a link there last time we included a Q&A session with our live audience. A group of young adults who served as summer interns here at Focus on the Family and will hear more from them in just a little bit right now Jim, here's how you started her to her conversation with Dr. Mike.

Mike let's get very specific on this you you have attributes in the book that described the expert you're alluding to those things. Let's get real detailed on the extrovert and how they act and behave in your touching on it. But again, let's go deeper to give us some data and this is toward the introvert side how God can use introverts. They tend to be 25% of the population, but there 60% of the gifted population and I see that I have a boy. When my son Sue is more introverted when he can zero in on something. Neurobiology is what is looking at right now and he could tell me so much about it as he read it he wants to answer the questions that he has in his mind he doesn't want to be an inch deep. You must be a mild date when it comes to knowledgeable study and all that so I mean there is a great attribute to the introverts. We tease about it, but it's very true. They want to have the right answer, not just an answer. When I think part of it is just how they operate. Most people think of extroverts as being allowed and held in some cases introverts are normally seen as being quiet and reserved and it's usually not the case. They're not shy, that's a different issue. Introverted usually comes from where you get your energy so extroverts they get energy from being around people and so you put them in a room full of people there energy actually built at the end of the party there actually know that there are not don't yell stop now just getting started you and you walk the Annex if it walks into a party and there thinking how long will it take me to talk to everybody in the room was an introvert will go in and say okay what one or two people can I talk to for about 45 minutes each and that'll be my evening and at the end of that event there just drained it doesn't mean they don't enjoy it or they can't communicate well I which is interesting because most people think pastors tend to be all extroverts actually majority tend to be introverts because they have more of a sensitivity, they pick up quicker on what's happening around them and it's just a matter of where they get their energy and how they use that solicit different blogging. I'm the introvert. I'll go find a person I can have a really deep conversation with them at a party and were both loving and extrovert will go in and just want to move from person to person and just loves it is needs on both sides there.

I guess that's one of the important disclaimers we have to give as the gods wired both of you next. It's interesting to me that it's a set pattern that there's not 1/3 type in that regard is introvert, extrovert.

Maybe somebody that can operate in the middle with some fluidity but generally that's it. There is another type God is wired this for purpose and I think there are different methods because for an introvert to use the methods of an extrovert and vice a versa. It's like a an eagle telling a turtle how to move around site you want to learn from an eagle, you learn from another turtle or from another eight.

It's not the ones bad or the other ones get website being who God made us and then using that. That's why there's some real specific things for an end in that regard. Talk about the comment that is very common which is you know I just don't have that gift. I don't have the gift of evangelism in the Bible does talk about in the way. Some will be teachers, some will be evangelists, etc. certainly provides a big door for a person that struggles with evangelism to walk through us on my gift. Well I think it's how it's positioned because I think introverts probably can do better at evangelism. In a lot of cases they're just not going to do it in the same way and it's like I don't go door-to-door. I don't go stand on the street corner, but there's other things that they can do me one example I had was when I was in college I started. That's when I started writing and I work for the largest Christian publisher, Sunday school curriculum in America and I was doing their high school lessons and this is back when they had dated curriculums on a particular date, every church in the country were 60 x 60,000 churches using this curriculum so they were all doing the same lesson as I would was writing their high school curriculum and once 1/4. They wanted the plan of salvation presented. I remember that I knew what was happening each Sunday. One Sunday morning I got up and thought okay did the math. We had 60,000 churches that I had written this lesson for with training for the teacher and how to present the gospel that okay so the 10 students was average back then in America. How many students were in a Sunday school class. A high school Sunday school class in America.

So that means that morning 600,000 people got to hear the gospel because of what I wrote and I thought what if 1/10 of a percent responded to 1/1000 accepted Christ.

That means that day. I got to be a big part of leaving 600 people to Christ that that's what an introvert does and is that less valuable than what an extrovert, as it's a different method. Anything to see the strength that comes out of that.

That's why I seen so many people just wake up to evangelism that are introverts and when they realize they don't have to do it the way they were told, but God speak with them when I like that idea that by all means share the gospel. Whatever gifting you have, whatever that your personality is it in your book evangelism for the rest of us, you identify three ways that Jesus lets go to the source that Jesus modeled God's love for others. How did he evangelize. Obviously that's a great thing to do was what was the example that Christ gave us.

I think the we usually think of him with a multitude but it's interesting he didn't spend much time with a multitude and he didn't go after the multitude he hung out with his disciples. All these people started showing up so was in a prepared event. He spent most of his time. He had his disciples that's were he put his focus and built into them, and of those he had the three that he really involved with and then those three went on really change the world and so he invested one by one, and so he always cared about people, and then the idea that he met people right where they were.

Think of the woman at the well, he didn't start sharing the gospel with her.

He talked about water. He was thirsty. She had the ability to get it and then he started talking to her about her past and her family and those kind of thing so he met her at her point of need. It wasn't a project, it was a compassion type of thing was considered the other thing to visit Jesus didn't seem to concern himself with how people responded to what he shared many just he went right to it and most people responded with wow, this guy is spoken right to my heart and of the woman at the well is a great example. She ran to counseling.

I think I've met the Messiah right as he shared every he knows me, even though he doesn't know me. That's how he built trust because he met her at her point of need and what can we do to Mashable. I'm not Jesus, but if I can build trust someone through meeting where they are the common ground the real issues in their life and just being there for them. Jesus had a lot of patients. He didn't force people to come to him and I think if I can have patients do not have to push to try and wrap things up, but to be intentional mean we are called to present Christ to people and that comes especially for an introvert through relationships when I can care and people know that when I build that trust. It gives the foundation so at a certain point. If someone is going through something really rough.

Who are they going to talk to the person that they built trust with yes they perceive that their project and they're knocking to come to you at her point of need, etc. but I think this is one of the great weaknesses of the church today and modernity and doesn't have time to develop those relationships and it's probably the greatest weakness that we have the unit were busy were all running around doing things and we have meetings go to and places to fly to.

We don't really stop to know our neighbor to find out where their point of need is right to what Jesus did exemplify for us and somehow we have to get control of that and understand what the eternal things are in this life, starting with your family, your kids and then beyond that your friends and then your neighbors and people that God brings to the well in your life. When I think that goes back to your earlier question about what's changed now. Why are people sharing and they use to any part of it is they tried, and it was never something people are comfortable with. It's easier to just stop doing it and to deal with the guilt and now were in a place where after having not done it for a while. There's a lot of other things we can do and we get busy with things that are urgent but they're not important Mike. I think one of the key things that I've experienced in my life is just be on the ready. Yes, you know what I mean by that.

You never know when the Lords can the present or bring someone across your path and you just haven't have have an attitude of that antenna think sensitive enough to hear the point of pain question, whatever it might be in there so much going on for news and everywhere else that you don't have to look very far to find a carrot back to your daughter's analogy that's ready to pick you know you can identify somebody who's actually struggling and then the sensitivity to actually ask questions like the Lord did that lead someone into an internal discussion right in their own heads like that's a good point and that's great work if you can do that. I think it's a wonderful way to say thanks. Let me go to the last question and word and have some Q&A now and and we do have some interns are so young people were gonna let them come to the microphone and stump you with some great challenges on evangelism but probably the most difficult people to evangelize our family members. They know you.

They know your warts. They know when you came to Christ as you told him 14 times you may have even called the family meeting together to make sure you know where I'm coming from and that's all good but they can be some of the most difficult people to win to Christ for all kinds of reasons. So in that context, what advice or encouragement. Do you have for the family member situation. You know I think about the fact they were supposed to pray for opportunities we pray for family members but it's almost like when you read a book has got a scripture passage and it would we know it already, so we skip over it.

So when we hear that were supposed to pray for our family members. We take that lightly and realize God is the one that is drawing people to himself and so what you do with family members and I think they know were coming from and we can still present when it's appropriate.

But in Romans 24 it says that God draws people through kindness is his kindness and brings them to repentance.

It's not the logic in a book like Romans. It's all logic from say what brings people to Christ.

It's kindness and to be able to build that into our relationship to keep loving him. Be intentional about kindness intentional about building the trust. The relationship and still be intentional but too often we get desperate because they have a respondents week trying to even harder to love them hard. All right at this point, the conversation returned again to our live audience of students for a Q&A session starting with this first question I Isaac Irvin from Indianapolis, Indiana, and my question is, Steve mentioned a few times the importance of relationships when sharing your faith in him just what your opinion is of cold evangelism so approaching a stranger to have a spiritual conversation but without really an intention to form a relationship and if you think that there so place that in Christianity today.

Good question. I think there is a place for it for an introvert is not going to happen very often for an extroverted could happen a lot more often. But he think he goes back to the need of the moment that if God is nudging me to do that and I've been in those situations where he says that person now. It's like that's what obedience is. But in a lot of cases. If he isn't nudging me to do that, then there's a chance that I could turn somebody off based on just approaching them.

That way when I was in college I had a classmate that went out on the streets of downtown Phoenix and he had a project he put together. He wanted to see how many women he could ask to kiss him before they would actually do it and he just got on the street and he asked. I think he gotten 98 and he got slapped.

They got sworn that by finding the 98 one said okay and she gave him a kiss and the thought would be well and was be like cold calling and since I hold that evangelism is looking for a response and you know you could say well it was worth it because of that one person did it. 1/100 yet but what about all the other ones who now are even more jaded and because of what happened there sites I think is a place for it, but I want to be responsive. First, what God asked me to do.

You might get a story about been on airplane.

This is so typical anybody that travels a lot. So a story to get to that point we just want to put the headset on and is to be snooze time or catch up on work time and and then you hear the Lord say I'll three whatever and what was your experience so I was I had been a leading couple seminars for several days and I was just exhausted.

It was the end of the day got on the plane was completely packed and the only seat that was open was right next to me and so I'm thinking this is sweet I don't talk to many. I want to put my head in the window and just go to sleep and so I actually was thanking God for the fast one open seat with that and then they opened the door the plane again and this man walk in. He was probably I think he told me he was 85 years old Chinese man and he stood at the front and he looked around and then he saw me he saw the open seat.

He smiled so big and I thought know and I thought okay I'm not going to share my fate with my mind going to talk to him.

I'm tired and I told got is I am not happy about this and if you if you want me to talk as I knew he was coming there I said if you want me to talk to him you going to have to make it so obviously knowing that let's make a deal yeah and so he came. He said I got settled and he turned to me goes hello you tell me God and Ace what is it you tell me God said you want me to tell you about God exist yes.

Oh my goodness okay you know people are going to gotta be kidding me, I mean it was okay so this was kind of obvious that I still doesn't say much for your willingness to respond to God's sake, that clearly I'm still ramping know about it at right after the end.

And so I had a cow talk to him but I told got a set I am not very please with you right now because you made it obvious, but we talk and turned out he flew quite a bit and he was learning English and this was. He thought that was a good topic to bring up the so we went to the spindle that course he was hard of hearing as well so he's I'm happy to almost yell answers as I react as the Lord has several aisles nearby ready to hear your great presentation of the gospel you and that was even worse for an introvert to have to yell the gospel in in a plaintiff could have been intended for entirely different person.

You never know. Well we finally almost we were just about the land and it'd been quiet for a while as we probably talked for half hour and as were landing. I thought I had a little copy of the track.

The four spiritual laws in my wallet and I thought I felt like I was saying just just give it to a mental note, I am. I don't want to talk to him anymore and I said okay if he says one more thing about God.

I will give them the tract and right before anywhere almost wheels down and he said thank you for telling me God told on the track.

I handed to him and that's funny.

But it was because I had prayed in the moment before in the moment. Show me what you want me to do. Now that's cold evangelism but it was because he told me to do it and I think that's what being responsive is why prayer is so important that we ask God to set things up and guide us into what he wants us to do right next question hi my name is Ellie and from farmers branch taxes and I just think Scripture so clear that we should surround ourselves with fellow believers. People who are to punish us. Our relationship with God.

But how do we avoid limiting ourselves to only those Christian circles so that we don't limit the spread of the gospel because were comfortable. I use it years ago I taught at Baylor University and I had a class on evangelism and discipleship, and I gave an assignment similar to what John had mentioned that sometime during the semester. They had to have a conversation not share their faith.

Have a conversation with two unbelievers all had to do was talk to him and I thought it was a pretty simple assignment at the end of the class. Two girls came up to me in tears. He said that's not fair.

We go to Bilo don't know any non-Christians. I said they were joking but they were seriously wanted to do a paper instead have an alternative assignment, and I start thinking about it thought okay so we got to that point Howard Hendricks at Dallas seminary used to say it takes the average new believer about three years to eliminate all the non-Christians from your life. I'm teaching this class I'm teaching and by all and then as I was listening to that. I realize I don't have any non-Christians and that was one of the impetus is where God moved me into a corporate setting for the second half of my career because I wanted to be around so I have I have far more non-Christian people in my life now that I do Christians, they're just friends their coworkers or colleagues that opens door for trusts that they don't have this kind of relationships with other people. So I think it's really important to be not only just open but to seek out those kind of relationships, but at the same time have that strong base with your Christian colleagues and friends so that you get the encouragement to get the accountability but also had the opportunity might be something as simple as just pray in the Lord to bring people into your life to make you uncomfortable and paving not baby just to have friendship. That's a good thing hi Kelly, Lance, Matt home Arkansas and Dr. Bechtel.

Unfortunately, many of my close friends and family members that were once believers have since rejected their faith. And I know you mentioned when evangelizing to your family members pray intentionally show kindness, but what else can I do you. And how do I approach that when they already know the nuts and bolts of the gospel when they already know the gospel. They have turned away from it is probably the time when a lot of believers have turned away from them as well so they feel like because I am not doing that anymore that I've been rejected. They need somebody in their life that still accepts them and still loves them unconditionally, just the way they are. That's I think where the door gets open to be able to have those kind of conversations and just be the person in their life that stayed with them more than anything else, especially family members.

I don't want to reject somebody because they rejected their faith. It's like that's what they did but there's still the same person and I still need just love the pieces I think to just living it out.

At that point you just need to live your faith so well that they see a difference and that to me would probably be best witnessing I could do in that context is almost anything you say will be used against you in the Family Court. So I really I think living it well was probably your best way to build trust with the family member again and then to believe that eventually the Lord will give you that opportunity. That certainly my wife's situation. She's the only believer in her family so you can imagine her family.

I think sometimes scratches their head about sin.

What we believe but she's living a very wonderful Christian witness in front of them and pray for them and loving them. It's beautiful to watch. Right.

Last question hi my name is Matthew Wolf am from St. Louis Missouri and I have a similar question. See mentioned earlier, it's very difficult to evangelize the family members and my father is not a Christian and he is told my mother and I are both Christians that he does not want to be evangelized to anymore. So how do we go about that situation while still respecting their boundaries, especially with an immediate family member. I think in that case, I probably I want to be open and honest with them and have a real relationship and that real relationship is going to talk about whatever Zana and I could even say I know you don't want me to share anymore. You know where I'm coming from its part of who I am, in fact, it is who I am. It's my it's my life to not share with you what's happening with me is disrespectful to you is not part of a real relationship so I work on the love side of it. I look on the working relationship side but I can I will still share things God is doing with me or the experiences I'm having just to share my story I will respect his not wanting me to tell chapter and verse and you need to come to Christ. He knows all that, I just wanted love them but still live that in front of him just like you shared because that's my opportunity to use my story and I have a little different take on it and that all those things are true, but I do think if your fathers in the place. The best thing you can do is be the greatest son you can be and what that speak for itself because I think when he's on his deathbed, in your next to him.

That's what he'll talk to you about is you been the greatest son of father could have and then you could say because my faith in Christ. I wanted to honor you not to be powerful Mike, this is been so helpful.

While good stuff. It's little outside of the normal discussion that we have here in Focus on the Family but what a wonderful reminder that we need to be intentional about sharing our faith not take the bait of the culture that we can't or shouldn't share our faith and encourage young people, men, you have heard some great comments from young people here.

That's why have so much hope. Those were wonderful questions and I think the bottom line is share the gospel with in your temperament within your talent that God is given you.

That's what you're saying Mike and I hope you pick up a copy of Mike's book evangelism for the rest of us right here from Focus on the Family. The great news is every penny goes right back in the ministry.

I don't think that works with the other online retailers and you know help the ministry get a copy of Mike's great book and also save a marriage helper. Apparently a better job, save the baby's life. I think that's worth it and will say thank you for that gift by sending a copy of Mike's book. Donate today and get your copy of evangelism for the rest of us when you call 800 K and the word family or click the link in the episode notes and if you are listing along or watching and thinking. I don't know. Even with this Jesus stuff I don't even know where to begin to know what to think about Jesus call us. We have resources that we have a little booklet called coming home that we can send you it's online as well. We want you to know the person that we spent the last half hour or so talking about Jesus again. Her number is 800 K word family on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team.

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