Using Your Unique Personality to Share Your Faith (Part 1 of 2)

You read accounts in the Bible how Christ impacted so many people, but we really know very little about the lives of those early followers of Jesus chosen I've called you by name imagines what life was like for those who followed Christ based on the widely acclaimed TV series.

The chosen this Focus on the Family book by best-selling author Jerry Jenkins rings color and depth of the people surrounding Christ.

You can find out more@focusonthefamily.com/chosen by right. I asked how often do you think about your eternal destiny. My wife who's on the throne of your life. No vacuum inside. I see right now that I listen this is turn or burn heaven or hell. Well, I just WJ what would Jesus do you know what that means. Well, it's an awkward conversation and maybe you been on one side or the other of that, wondering what that really accomplish this is Focus on the Family and today were to be talking about evangelism and the angst that many of us feel about sharing your faith your hostess focus presidency and Dr. Jim Daly and I'm John Fuller John many people know that I tend to be an extrovert writer really friend of my mom's when I was a young boy, pray five. She asked me why do you have diarrhea of the mouth actually shut me up for a while and just talking. I like to engage people.

I think it's fun.

That's what life is about. Well, sometimes other temperaments like introverts may not appreciate guilty do I irritate you out and not at all this to your diarrhea never that this is not about that today we want to talk about evangelism and the way your temperament and personality type can play into your evangelism style yet. I watch you Jim talk to strangers.

And you just win them over and it's really easy for the Lord and for me, not so much. I remember a seminary class I had and it was an assignment I had to do some evangelism. Think about that and will explore that more sure is we get along with our gesture, but I decided that I would go to a little community college campus on a Saturday afternoon that this is that we can be threatening to me. Of course I walk for like 45 minutes. I went back to my profit. I said I didn't see anybody to talk to. He's like yes really hard is it to go out and kind of force the issue, but that was that was really a challenge from you never know what you can encounter member in San Diego.

One time I was part of the street evangelism group.

You know I was young and we went out and member the first guy we encountered started the claim he heard voices from Jupiter hard to talk and laugh at his peril, but I mean you don't know what you're going to walk into your doing street very much like that opening clip.

It's a challenge for a lot of folks to really figure out how to share their faith. That's why we have Dr. Mike Bechtel with us once more.

He's an author, speaker, and consultant coach is written a number of books is been here before and the one were to talk about today is called evangelism for the rest of us sharing Christ within your personality style and we have copies here, just click the link in the show notes. I should mention that we have a group of young adults with us as well. Summer interns here at focus who are participating in a Q&A session with Dr. Bechtel later on in our broadcast Mike welcome back to focus thanks. It's always a privilege to partner with you so good to see you again and I love your attitude I love the way you approach things. It's quite a task to write a book on evangelism and especially to type personality types. Let's go right to your love-hate relationship with evangelism. That's how you express that it makes me wince a little bit that you could actually have that battle within you, because I think it's a command that we go out and tell the world about Jesus. Why was it a love-hate relationship when I think it is for a lot of people and I didn't hear anyone say that because I was an introvert and I'm listening to you talk about your story of going to let the campus John in the as I'm listening. I'm thinking I would've gone into in the morning well because that is a better chance did not have yet you reduce your risk. So let's mention that. I mean, again, some people find that to be far more natural to talk to people they don't know.

Partly because Mike is I don't care. I member in the talk to somebody and I don't really worry about what you think of me, not that introvert does worry about that, but why is that temperament so critical why what is that play into it like it because God made us unique and everything that I heard when I was growing up was.

It turned out to be guilt-based because you have to do this God will be upset with you if you don't, he commands this he wants you to do it and most of the people I heard it from the pastors and the similarly were extrovert right speakers skaters exactly and so they're saying this is how you need to do it so it wasn't so much a matter of should you do it or not it's here's the method you need to use. You need to be bold you need to do and the harder it is and the more uncomfortable it is, the more real evangelism. It is, and I always wondered then why didn't God make me noisier. Why did he make me with a quieter personality was much more reflective because I talked to somebody you can talk to somebody and you're not intimidated if they come up with a question you can answer these move on or you make up an answer for extrovert part but but for me I always think of the perfect response about 10 minutes after they left the site and so it's like well why can't because I think most extroverts assume that introverts just need to be healed, that if they could be noisier if they could just type up a little bit and learn how to do it their life would be easy. That's what they need to do when I so appreciate that perspective and I think certainly one thing we need to not have his guilt. I mean this is the good news. That's the great part of this, you know, when it should come naturally within how God is wired you to express it. Let's get to some of the data to paint the picture for the listeners and the viewers.

It's interesting the stats about evangelism only 64% of Christians believe sharing the gospel is something were supposed to do and for younger adults, almost half don't want to convert someone of a different faith because they feel it's inappropriate. That's a big change from a few years back what's happening there more introverts being born. I don't desire it is, but their social pressure and there's a high sensitivity to other people's feelings and beliefs and yet the same time. This is the contest of ideas. He knows Jesus who he said he was. We as Christians believe absolutely it would be remiss of us not to share that conviction with others when you know what I think part of what happened years ago was that there was so much of an emphasis on the method that it had to be in this bold kind of way that I always felt guilty and a lot of people that I knew felt guilty as well because it's like I'm not doing those methods see have to work up to it and then okay I'm find a way to do it. I remember to going to an evangelism seminar wants a three day class and overnight.

We had to go find somebody in witness to him.

That was the assignment and I remember a friend of mine we did it together found somebody a McDonald's employee on his break. He was sitting on a table.

We snuck up behind him sat on either side, and I'm sure I jumped right into the gospel presentation first as if I didn't he would and I have to find somebody else and we talked to him for a while and finally he's well I gotta go back to work. Thanks for preaching, and I remember how I felt. I thought okay did it.

I did one supposed to do God's happy with me and I didn't feel the guilt anymore is almost like a smoker that once have a cigarette. They're not craving it for a while and then a couple months later I was still basking that well.

Last time I shared my faith.

In fact, last week was somebody McDonald's and it worked for a while but then I thought I felt guilty again site if I really cared about those people. I probably wouldn't I wouldn't be craving it later. It would just be so satisfying each time, and that's one. Why didn't God make me this way. What if there's a different way. What if it's not the great commission. That's the problem.

Maybe it's that I'm listening to the methods and what if there's more methods and I'm hearing well and I love that revealed you mention several misconceptions in your book about evangelism you're touching on one now successor. Nothing. Maybe that when you're mentioning we also talked about the blood on your hands, quantity over quality, so just talk about those concepts or misperceptions we had was a lot of misperceptions. One was that idea that if you don't lead somebody to Christ right then you failed it was your responsibility might go to hell because you didn't say some yeah and then there's a passage in Ezekiel that says their blood is on your your hands, and I do know what I meant but I knew it was bad. I thought I'm to be in trouble if I didn't do it. But then that makes me the one that's selling salvation instead of God doing the work because he said were fishers of men. I heard somebody say once that we catch him. He cleans him and so being able to take somebody through the gospel presentation if they don't respond. It's like my daughter when she was three years old sheep. We planted carrots in the backyard longer of carrots and should go out and check them every day and they start dying from one end of the other and I looked out the window when Ansar looking at the carrots. She reached out and grabbed one yank it out stared at it and put a background she went to see if it was done yet and I think sometimes if we wish to quickly for the close, it becomes more of a sales process. I'm not really caring about people and it's just a different dynamic. Yeah, and again in the book you you mention several of these miss perceptions, but let's get to the real deal, real evangelism, as you call it a team effort. Those kinds of concepts what's it a couple of those. What you think about that team effort approach while it goes back to the whole thing of the body of Christ that the body is made up of different parts and they all work together and anytime we pray with someone to receive Christ. When we actually get to that point, we didn't do it by ourselves.

There's a whole string of people throughout their lives that have brought them here. The guide uses so many different people and so my job isn't to get the clothes because God's will in the saved people. My job is to be responsive to what he asked me to do, which in one case it may be just to be kind to them which were taken to the next step for somebody else, it comes along and the the next yeah and Mike. I think that is the question to me and I like this but how do we let that pressure out so that we can hear the Holy Spirit and know how to deal in the moment with somebody who's in front of us. How do you develop that capability that you want to go for the close right now and what what is needed in the moment that somebody suggested to me, and I think this is unwritten based on research that it's 11 touches in a person's life with the Christian before they come to Christ not to know how they came up with that number, but it does speak to what you're saying that you don't if you're number one. If you're the first one that set out touch with this individual doesn't know anything about the Lord. It may be a high expectation that you're going to go one through 11 today with this person and their dinner.

It could happen.

You don't want to count that opportunity out, but you also have to be satisfied that you simply show the love of Christ to an individual today and trust that God will know who's next to touch a person's life will I think a good definition of evangelism that I came up with is just love people and talk because real relationships is where things happen and anytime I look at a person is a project where I need to find a way to present the gospel to them like I'm focusing on that outcome but I'm not really having a relationship with them and people are more than just spiritual beings.

They have their needs in their life and their relationships and they have money problems. They have everything else it to be a friend to them and to build a relationship and learn just how they think and listen.

I think listening is one of the best forms of evangelism just to hear their heart and build trust yeah and some are going to they hear you say that and this is also I think rooted in our temperament.

Some will say you know you got a go for because it could be this person's last opportunity before they die of cancer or whatever it might be.

I'm so grateful to an elderly couple that talked to my mom before she passed away the day before she passed away from cancer in my letter to the Lord mean and it counts. You know, and that her life was a good life. She could've said you know generally I'm a good person.

I think I'll get there, but they needed to explain to her what Jesus's death, resurrection and empowerment through the Holy Spirit actually meant.

And that's kind of the work that I don't think is being done right now will I think some of that comes from what you said earlier about having a relationship with somebody when you talk to them in the moment. What they need and that's being responsive to what God tells you to do in that moment that it's not my plan to say well I'm to talk about this and going here and do this and this.

I mean, this is not that that's a bad thing because there will be a place for but God may want to use me in the moment with somebody for a specific need they have you encourage people in the book to have relationships with non-Christians.

I couldn't agree more. I think that's some of the most rewarding relationships I have with people who don't know the Lord and we get a chance to talk very deeply about that possibility. I mean it's hard because I know I wear the label across my forehead. I am a Christian people now in the present focus, so when I get into this discussion with them. They know where I'm coming from, or they think they know where I'm coming from. And so it may be a little different when you're in a position where people have expectations about who you are what you believe and now you're going to try to get a hold of me, but for the person working business. The company would have you it is good to walk with people the idea of walking discipleship that we don't have to. When someone right now but earn their respect or earn their trust and love them so that their hearts can open up to what the gospel will present to the one I think different temperaments again respond to different things. A an extrovert approach probably is and can be that effective with an intro because they think differently so much like a different language you put in it like you take an extrovert walking through a complex have a friend who's an exit when fearful mouth. I know when I'm choosing my words I have a friend that's an extra read. He walks through a business and he sees all the people at their desks in his first thought is we need to get all these people together for lunch so we can present the guy and I would go through and I'm looking at the pictures in their cubicles thinking okay what's important to them where's our common ground. What can we talk about and that's why both of them are needed because it's a matter of sensitivity because introverts tend to be. They think deeper and extroverts tend to think faster, and so putting those together these different needs at different times.

This is Focus on the Family with Jim Daly I'm John Fuller in our guest today is Dr. Mike Bechtel and his book is called evangelism for the rest of us sharing Christ within your personality style will know Jim that on the cover.

There's a bit big red panic button there which is I think really telling for were a lot of people live with this topic. If you're finding this to be an encouraging conversation or if you have questions a stop by the website. Get a copy of the book or ask us questions if we can be of help are numbers 800 the letter a in the word family or click the link in the episode notes right, let's attorn to the audience. Organ have some of these young people come in and the stump. The professor and that you know one thing I want to say is so many people, older people put it in context that look at the younger generation and then you know they have such concern. I'm telling you what I have met many many young people in a variety of settings. I'm excited about what the Lord is doing in that core group of believers and that you know there's hundreds of thousands if not millions of them.

And I think the Lord is going to do something amazing in this next generation of believers because the world is in such a place that their faith is going to have to shine for the Lord to work through them to touch a world that's in a growing more and more desperate for God's love and attention. Hi my name is Melissa Xiao I'm from Bloomington Illinois and a question for you, and point to take into consideration I temperaments are evangelizing. How important is it to take into consideration the temperance of the press nowhere evangelizing to do, especially when we need them for the first time. Great question. That is it. When I think about the temperaments that's so good because an extrovert doesn't have to just talk to extroverts but they can also realize that introverts can respond differently. They have a different way of seeing it and just to understand anything for an extroverts to take the time to really find out what is an introvert. How do they think how they process and vice a versa for the introvert to realize that there are such strengths in both.

So I think it's a matter taking the time to study the other temperament and realize how they respond to things just like we would with anybody. The more we get to know them and builds trust before speaking there like my going to say sensitivity is not an extrovert introvert thing and introvert might have more of it but extroverts need to learn that sensitivity as well. It doesn't give you a get out of jail free card right and being sensitive to another person to me as Christian as the Lord certainly express that I think you start every conversation that sensitivity in a worse person coming from. I think one of the most difficult things when you're talking with somebody is when they have a big wound and emotionally that's coming out at you and if you act emotionally back at them. It goes nowhere. You've got to build a take that and turn that into something good for the cause of Christ. So you gotta be constantly thinking about how can I respond even if a person is hyper emotional for some reason that we didn't we may not even know you know that they were bludgeoned spiritually by a family member but I think that's another reason why listening is so critical before I want to say anything to somebody else. I want to look through their eyes. I want to see what they're saying.

How do I do that I can ask questions and just listen.

I'm not asking questions in order to reply am asking questions to understand it. If I can ask questions and start understanding. Now I've got a framework it's built some trust, but also I know where they are and where they're coming from so I can speak to that are right next question. I am Joshua Bumpus from Tyler Texas and I was curious to know it was mentioned earlier that we live in such a such a public culture.

A lot of people have a big presence on the Internet that kind of thing and I was curious about what you are thinking about whether or not social media evangelizing and social media has the ability to pack the same punches like face-to-face evangelism. I was thinking maybe it may not seem fulfilling to some maybe that it seems like not doing enough. But to others, especially introverts might make them more comfortable to share the gospel kind with the barrier of social media there so I was curious what you thought about that.

I don't have a problem with it with social media.

I think it's it has its limitations and it has its risks and the risk is that you can say anything on social media and it could be misconstrued because they don't see the twinkle in your eye when you set it or they don't see the little facial expression that you pick up face-to-face plus people tend to be I may look at all the dialogue going on Facebook and even Instagram that with all the stuff happening right now. People get pretty vicious, and more so than they ever would in person have a friend is a contractor and he said he'll he gets things in writing. He gets emails were people are just going after him.

And so he's going to just pick up the phone and say hey I got your email what's going on, or he'll drive across town to have lunch. He said there never is strong in person because it gives them that anonymity so they feel safer doing it give you more courage to be stronger in the positive things I think it could, but a just understanding the dynamic of what happens. I'd always rather be face-to-face than for introvert. The bigger the group gets them.

The more you tend to close and I'm I'm I'm much more comfortable one on one want to. I went to a restaurant not too long ago with an extrovert pastor friend of mine and 70 was sitting at a table all by themselves over there and I was taking CE just looks like he's just really enjoying himself. He sitting there and having dinner by himself and I do that quite a bit and my friend said I wasn't sitting with you. I go sit with him. I still so sorry for the little lonely he would ruin it for himself and so yeah, I think, is that dynamic of what happens and there's but I think that's it were wired for relationship as part of who we are made in his image made for relationship so it doesn't mean turn your back on social media. It's a good opportunity but most effective is the negation someone's life so right hi Russell, I'm from Kingsport, Tennessee, and in some ways I'm hearing you say that letting go of guilt and evangelism means also letting Kyle as you need for instant gratification and even measurable outcomes.

With that said, how would you say that introverts and an extroverts handle the issue of pride when it comes to evangelism.

These are great questions. You should keep them impressive when it comes evangelism. I think pride can be a real factor because if I pray with someone to receive Christ. There is a sense of her that Lisa used to be a sense of I did that or accomplishment yeah I accomplished. And that's true but I don't make it about me I to understand that if I pray with someone or if I share my faith in that way. I am part of the process God is doing through a number of people at this point he made me the point person but other times it's just being responsive to what he has media and if I can really understand that insensate then it's harder to have the pride because I have to take it back. He's the one that brings people to himself.

He says if I be lifted up I will draw all men to me.

And so my job is to hold them up and then he can draw them to himself. From there yet another that's really good I think to the unit of the generalizations that were sharing here knows were talking about introverts and extroverts.

It's a little what's a good word sloppy.

You know that I think is sincerity needs to be on both.

In both an introvert and an extroverts heart. I think the other thing to I think extroverts and I'm one.

You tend to be goal oriented and so you do lean into.

Hey, I was able to share the gospel. 10 people out of 10 people to people accepted Christ as a 20% average. I think I'm doing pretty good on that in 200 right and you've gotta let that go and have that confidence in Christ that your job is simply to engage and it's the Lord's responsibility to do with that what he desires to do with it right you know what I've all almost seen is that there's more of a pride issue with the introverts in the extrovert Elks point since your introvert jacket. We have both of us going out because I went for so long feeling inferior and guilty because I couldn't do it when I finally realize that God shaped me to share in a certain set of ways that was different. It was so freeing and it's really easy at a certain point to almost look down on extroverts who are doing it in the more outgoing way because it's like that's not nearly as effective because were building relationships were doing that and had worked his ass.

I think that's that's almost more of a pride issue.

Well, that's where we concluded the first part of our conversation in the Q&A with Dr. Mike Bechtel based upon his book evangelism for the rest of us sharing Christ within your personality style. This is Focus on the Family with Jim Daly and I'm John Fuller, Jon.

I always appreciate the wisdom and vulnerability that Mike brings whenever he is with us his message today has been so encouraging and I know for extroverts like me. It's easy to connect with people and open up a dialogue about faith and many other topics. Other temperaments find that more difficult to do.

But the good news as we learned today is that we can all learn to be more effective witnesses for Christ that he calls us to that task and how you do so won't look the same as everyone else and that's okay if this program today has made you wonder, how do I know if I'm a Christian. I hope you'll contact us because we can help you answer that question. We'd love to talk to you about what it means to give your life to the Lord Jesus and seek forgiveness for your sins and then experience God's wonderful gifts of grace and eternal life. So please let us know if you have any questions you Focus on the Family is here to help in their number is 800 232-645-9800 the letter a in the word family we can find us online and the link is in the episode, notes, and Jon, I want to encourage our listeners to get a copy of Mike's book evangelism for the rest of us.

This message is so important and as followers of Christ we can't afford to be negligent or apathetic about the good news, especially in today's culture were so many want to silence God's truth and the urgency Jesus shared in Matthew nine applies to our generation.

Today the harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few that we can put a copy of Mike's book into your hands when you send a gift of any amount to Focus on the Family today. That's our way of saying thanks for helping us spread the gospel of Jesus Christ and once again our number 880 family or donate and request the book. The link is in the episode notes will next time will continue the conversation with Dr. Mike Bechtel as he examines reasons why many Christians don't value evangelism as they show why aren't people sharing and they used to think part of it is they tried, and it was never something people are comfortable with.

It's easier to just stop doing it and deal with the guilt and now were in a place where after having not done it for a while. There's a lot of other things we can on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team. Thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family I'm John Fuller inviting you back once more help you and your family thrive in Christ, your marriage resources your ventures and Odyssey stories constant in front. There are thousands of stories just like from Focus on the Family's legacy community folks who leave a legacy gift to their well, trust or other estate planning tool.

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