Sharing Your Faith as a Family

Five.

Fun for your kids. Just a click away to see the adventures in Odyssey club. Your 8 to 12-year-olds can find trusted faith building entertainment in a safe online club features almost every episode ever. A special monthly club only episodes and content and of Focus on the Family clubhouse magazine subscription. Sign up today. Just go to a I/O club.org/radio we said whatever God puts us. We just deeply desire and that whoever is nearest for there's an apartment, a trailer park neighborhood to say God could you let your light shine natural ways and execute natural you're going to be learning some great avenues for sharing your faith in simple, natural ways, from Kevin Hardy and his wife Sherry on today's episode of Focus on the Family. Thanks for joining us your hostess focus Pres. and author Jim Daly and I'm John fall, John. I think we as Christians sometimes overthink we want to be lights for Christ in this dark world.

Of course, there are so many reasons we don't maybe were busy with kids at home or or weekdays are long and draining or we simply feel like we don't have the gift of evangelism. That's why love Kevin insurers approach to sharing the gospel as you'll hear in the conversation today. Sherry doesn't feel like evangelism comes naturally to her but their family has found ways to use simple everyday things like refrigerators and swimming pools as ways to share the love of Christ with their friends and neighbors will explain more in a minute but we recorded this broadcast a number of years ago and I wanted to share it again to help you team up with your spouse and kids. And as Paul says in Ephesians make the most of every opportunity. Absolutely.

And I Kevin Sherry serve on staff at Shoreline community church in California. They've been married for over 30 years and have three adult sons and two grandchildren, and together they written a book called organic outreach for families turning your home into a lighthouse and we have that, of course, just click the link in the episode show notes. Let's go ahead and join the conversation. As Sherry answered Jim's question about how although evangelism may come easily to her husband feels like quite a stretch for her. I think that between the two of us that happened. Kevin is an evangelist I'm not. That's not one of my cats but that's one of the things that we talk about in the book is how those of us who maybe don't consider ourselves have the gift of evangelism that were all called to be the light in the world and in Matthew five it says that you are the light of what Jesus said about so all of us are called to shine at night and so we hope that through our book, where encouraging families on how to be that light, Sherry, let me ask you this because I so appreciate that vulnerability is low comfortable with evangelism.

It's almost like code blue and Christian talk but how do you, how did you work that out early in your marriage. Were you ever uncomfortable. I very much so I think that that is actually where our passion to write this series of books on organic outreach team realizing that there are some people who are gifted evangelists, and some are not. And how do we train people like myself to have this passion in this ability to in a natural way. Share the love of Jesus and so basically this is what moved us is that gap between the two of us to write the series and to bring comfort to your listeners about studies which show that 95 to 97% of Christians don't have the gift of evangelism. 97%, but we can all love when we can all listen and care less even when you look at the spiritual gifts.

Some people have the gift of generosity, but were all called to give and some people have gifts of service but were all called to serve miss very much like that with evangelism that there some people have the gift of evangelism but were all called to share Jesus. Well let's let's been the end of the book that in the content in organic outreach because in there you're talking about how to make your home that lighthouse did you decide that on your honeymoon to the two of you as a young couple safe, let's make our house. It's a beacon for the loss to bring people in. How did that get going.

Would you get traction saying okay this is what we want to do. I think honestly it started when we were engaged in Kevin and that we have an interesting story because Then just had this big heart to serve God do anything for him at any cost and I was more cautious and so actually what happened was we were engaged. I was living in Ontario California and he was living in Pasadena and he called me one night and he said hey Sherry, I just want you know I been able to minister to this guy off the streets. Kevin Ella to finish it because you you remember that it wasn't unusual for me. II was still a somewhat new Christian and I didn't grope face when I read the Bible. I just tried to ever set him, knocked my groundwater money to get money for food I bring him and I feed them at the close of my closet.

I say take whatever you want, and I was think about as much impact when you're married someday and so this guy comes to my door and and he was in a rough time young guy and he knocked my door and asked if he could have some food and I give him some food I ate most the top running baloney those days I was broken so it was easy to say, so we we had a meal together and hang out my house for a while and then he actually yesterday to stay the night and and I said sure I'll be here tonight let you stay the night and I think they call you before after that will all I remember is I got the call that this young man was going to be spending the night with Kevin. That was not a good moment for me because I it was the first time in our engagement or dating that I actually thought to myself, can I marry a man who just let's anybody off the street into our home overnight, I had images of art you raising a family, having kids and we have all these people just coming that we don't even now, and I question whether that was safe if we don't question it was and it was such a big concern for me that night because I love Kevin I want to marry him.

I remember it. Actually I'm's gonna say I ended up throwing up. I was so sick to my stomach because I thought I know we want to be this family. We had already been talking about it. We want to be a family that that reaches out but is this part of the hat and so anyways, I spent the night sick.

Kevin spent the night so that I stay the night and I was live in the morning and am so died.

Go to class was a student going to seminary and go to class and so I told was led to classes while he sought to stay here while you're gone and I had enough sense to say well it's probably not like him back ever to be God have a lot but I thought your slice will listen you and it was exit type is my grandmother owned it.

I was in the front when she was in the back one I was a passage was little later capacity that is both my grandmothers and my grandma McGrady lived the past.

In my whole life growing up so I said to what you go to submittals for a while then come back about four hours. Like I classes done and you can come back and will have some dinner something's okay great so I have after school, he left I got tight like I pulled in from school and there were two police cars in the back of the triplex. My grandmother's place and I thought well I wonder if she had a heart attack or something was going on I and it never crossed my mind and put the pieces together and went to the back and she sitting there with the police officer kneeling by, or should Palin sheet white and upset and in another officer comes out to me he said I need to talk with you one of your friends assaulted and robbed your grandmother.

I still can put the pieces together. My friend Scott who my friends would do that together. Joma has been staying with you. He username and said he was staying with you and he was a friend of yours in the attribute is the bathroom and he came in he stole a bunch were things and then and think by God's grace. He hugged her and kissed her and she felt very it was very inappropriate and that he left it into anything else. So, so thankful for that and I stood there and I do rethink what it means to be a lighthouse home does it mean you open your door to everybody at all times no matter what the cost or is there a place of wisdom and discernment in prayer and boundaries and I never thought about that before, and that changed the trajectory of our journey together. I we still were committed.

This we had to think about how you do this when you can be married when you have children and how do you still lay it all out for Jesus but also stay allowed to laid out tomorrow to let me ask you this.

It is very transparent. I appreciate that. I think just about every Christian couple have this discussion, especially when kids arrive and if you've been in that modality of wanting to be Christ to those around you and bring people home for dinner and things like that you start every wise wife and mother will start thinking wait a minute I'm putting my little ones at risk, especially in this day and age were the culture. The value system is changing and you know it's not Mayberry RFB let's talk about that.

What are some of the practical ways over the 30 years you've done this that you've learned that it works best. So what do you do that that does minister to people that doesn't put you at too great a risk and that gets the point across in terms of the gospel so only look at what ever we have and whatever we do out of our home. How can we leverage that for the gospel. So for instance when we were raising three boys, one of the things that we found out is that boys love to eat pretty much sleep. So how can we leverage that for the gospel and one of the ways that we did it wise, we had a basement in Michigan are raising our boys in Michigan.

We had a basement and I was just open area for the kids to play. But we we bought a refrigerator and we put a refrigerator downstairs and we put food and we did spend a lot of money. But when a line item in our budget food for neighbor will ask you for the kids visiting 20 or 30 was like locust standing in the land I got something to Sam's Club moment.

I found this to be a great way to reach out to the community because word got out, you can get free food at Harney and out and leave me a cabinet to that we stock huge amount of food, but cans of soup and different things like that. And the thing that was I think so neat for the boys and their friends what the refrigerator in the basement was theirs and anybody could go into edit any time and eat what was ever there and that for some reason I was a huge draw for the boys.

They felt loved that that idea that refrigerator rights you know who it if you let someone into your refrigerator you sing to them yeah part of our family say were the boundaries will refrigerator upstairs which they did not have rights to all of our food for our show. The grocery shopping that it all disappears. We said this is your refrigerator. This is your cabinet whatever's in it, you can have and that's living in Michigan, you're in the same cul-de-sac for 17 years and that's pretty cool. Yeah so unusual about that. Yeah. What were some of the cell. Another thing that we were able to leverage for the gospel was when we decided to get an above the ground pool, not a fancy was low cost, and this is a time yet understand this is 20 years ago and a lot of people didn't have a buzz around pool. So when we got ours in our neighborhood. It became the spot that everybody wanted to come to an end again. That creates a dilemma.

So how do I share this.

How do I leverage this for the gospel but maintain safety. You know because I can't spend all my days watching kids swim and then it was a struggle for me. I have to say I sought the Lord, we didn't have books like this to go to and as I I pray I said, Lord, you know my heart you know I want to have certain boundaries but I want to use this for you.

The Lord gave me this idea. We had one day we designated one day and this is during the summer months. We made it Tuesday and we told all our neighbors that from 1 to 5 anybody was invited as long as they brought a babysitter or parent or another adult that would be responsible for them. But what happened is word spread that Tuesday afternoon she could go swimming at the Harney's but was a big pool but lots of people came in they brought their parents. They brought their baby setter and every Tuesday afternoon during the summer months. We sat together watching our kids play swim in conversations about God came up. If we are going to be the presence of Jesus. If we are of our home was shy with the light of Jesus number one with me around occasionally work on for home so much these days, so happy around occasionally and then were around we have to have an open spirit, even when were tired and there were times were sharing. I would where we just there's kind of part of it was we love doing this thing is is just flat out ministry. It's that this is our calling and you even met you ministry all day long yeah now in this all night long and one things that we talk about is the fact that wherever goodbye rhythm of Sabbath once a week but we talk on were to really get to rest Sunday where we really address. I will get to heaven is true today. One more neat issue of code where we learned about boundaries and serving is allowed to go out in front of her house and her boys in the front lawn of the big want in the front lawn and there. How many boys are cul-de-sac 11 under 11 1111 early on and then the kitchen the other streets instructor, they'd see us doing something tomorrow so I got my three boys to play and before you knew it there be 1112 1314 boys there and wait and I'm a big kid side organized soccer games about what is likable about the fun things to do and that was fun for me and again I use after a busy full day back at home in the summers, usually in the evenings on to play but one day after he hung out and played all the neighborhood boys. One of my boys armor which one pulled me aside and asked his question. He said dad can we ever display with you swimming. So every time I go outside to play. It's like 10 or 15 kids and and it's great but could we ever display with you, and I was like okay yeah good, quite boundaries again. Loving serving boundaries and so II said the next. All the boys came over in the neighborhood I say listen, I said every so often I would have a hearty family time was hard on it. Anytime you can't come over but after Harney famine times.then you can come over and I was were like.

If you are bad and hurt Seville at all okay great yes as they all took off his leg. I met with the boys they come running over like A process for the sub legal is a Saudi family time.

Unlike my boys like you yesterday is in the what later they just heard the boundaries but what happened. My boys then is they knew there were times are just for them in time to play the neighbors and communicated a lot to her boys into the neighbors. They learn something about boundaries to I think this'll appreciate your honesty because it isn't an uncomfortable part of living a life for Christ is there some risks and you've really laid out some good stuff super practical steps for doing this naturally and authentically in your book organic outreach for families, we have it available@focusonthefamily.com/broadcast as well as the CD or download of our conversation today were talking to Kevin and Sherry Harney on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly is a story stick out for you.

I mean, I could've easily been one of those boys come into your house because I love it was. But I came from a really dysfunctional situation so and I would love to have known the neighbor that would let me swim in their pool and go over there. Would you intentionally look for the boy or girl who seems a little bit in trouble they found us yeah yeah what is that discussion look like, how they open her heart to you.

That was probably one of our biggest challenges is ministering to children that were troubled, you know, for multiple reasons, wanting to help them but also wanting to protect our children as well because we know what influences due to children.

That was probably our biggest challenge is how do you love some of the kids that are troubled and are from what we could tell going in the wrong direction. Sure, and now we are letting our kids with them and that your hand inviting him in our home.

It's a step and encouraging our boys to hang out with those kinds of kid while that is very challenging see that it was her try to protect yes absolutely. And that was that. I would say are biggest challenge and think the way that we did. It is we early on we let our children know that they could hang out with anybody. They wanted we would tell them that you me because what we would tell them where the light of the world.

We have good news to share. We want you to hang out with anybody but you may hang out with anybody as long as you are light as long as you're the influencer. But we want you to know that when we see that there darkness may be influencing you.

We will pull you out how to mass the million-dollar question. Your kids are grown boys how are they doing well spiritually held all passionately love the Lord is not interesting yet you take a risk you put your kids and you coach them to launch them and that's what you really were doing right is are going to get into the world at some point in their inexperience people that use bad language that use drugs that use alcohol that have premarital sex and that is the environment and yes to the parents that includes Christian campuses Christian schools and to prepare your kids to engage. I unlike that that takes courage to tell you it was messy.

It was challenging because one of our boys. The circle of friends. He hung out with were I think only two of those kids actually graduate high school.

I wanted up in prison. I just job in prison. And then there were some great stories of God's redemptive work in kids lives as well, but it so it was a mixed bag and there were times we had to say okay were drawn boundaries. Upon yeah because were seen influencing you will so it was always clean and easy. I want to want to respond to the gasp of the moms I can hear my gasping out for nausea.

That's ridiculous. Yep, speak to that mom's heart. How do you know how you tread carefully yet courageously sounds like an oxymoron. Yeah, you have to put the time in you need to be there in the home. There has to be some level of commitment to be watching. If you're going to allow your kids to be in that in those places that speaks to the parents right cruise doesn't work is that it starts making a lot of impact on you in terms of time and observation being engaged in so many of us as parents we want autopilot. We want to be engaged if were really honest with ourselves. Will that goes back to your opening statement.

Kevin too many of us have a bunker mentality and we silo ourselves off from the world and you're saying no, it's all about engaging with the world. From a biblical perspective were not good with messy Christian churches become too efficient at being clean and pure and I would challenge that but I mean I think that's what we think were achieving when what the Lord does even with the disciples on the shores of that the couple is when you cast the demons up of the man into the swine. Think of that moment because the disciples didn't want to get out of the boat, because in a Jewish context if they step foot on that soil. They became unclean. Jesus jumps on the boat and engages the culture that is such a good picture for us. That's what you've done through that activity jumped out of the boat. Put your foot down on the topless the outskirts of the known world at the time in a really ugly situation and you brought Christ to them and II found that praying on my knees I found myself in my bedroom on my knees being honest with God saying God, you know, our heart you know what were trying were trying to proclaim the good news. But you know we don't want to sacrifice our child and we don't feel like you're asking us to do that.

But as long as they can be that influencer Lord help us.

I do have to say that for one of our sons.

This he was able actually to be the influencer the other moms were thrilled they were happy to have him be the one hanging out with their own kids.

These moms were struggling to with their boys decisions, but I do recall one night that I could over because I'm still listening and I'm watching and I overheard was going on in the basement and the language was not good and it just kind of the point where I started to wonder if my son really was influencing for good.

At this point, so I actually remember that night I got on my knees. I could hear the language coming up through the register and I I literally prayed, how can it be this is been going on for a long time, and if my son is at a point right now where he is not being the influencer Lord, please help him get caught and I have to say that it wasn't long after that that we actually got a call from police officer and he got caught midnight Saturday night before Easter Sunday to pick Mike up from the police and Hester right I indeed I was 13, so we Kevin I have a basic parenting principle that we think kids should make mistakes early on, give them some freedom so they're not 18. Making that kind of mistake. There 13 and so I actually remembered when the call came. I said to Kevin had talked to the police officer and he had the phone to me and I said thank you think you so Kevin picked him up and that we brought him home and we got to have a conversation and will clear consequences, and he spent some time in front of a judge with dad. Mom next to him and got some community service and and he also is a whole new set of boundaries and we said okay you're not influencing your being influenced and so we pulled him out of that group for season and that experience changed him for the better will absolutely you this.

Then shortly after that, he realized that he was making wrong decisions and we will let him live with the consequences.

The judge, so I guess I just looked and saw this couple that seemed engaged in Carrigan and producers but discipline from the back off. Mrs. Wohl don't you back off you give them everything you can see it really is that whatever you normally give to any kid you lay on that arson look to me to him and the judge let alone any Decembers community service of everything on top of the Mallard never looked better. Either next Monday. He worked hard, let me ask you this though because you know some parents may be in that same boat lived got what they would describe in a Christian home as a prodigal, or the beginnings of a prodigal, and they may have stood in front of the judge with their child. There 13-year-old and they got home that night and it didn't go so well. He didn't respond or she did respond in such a good way positively. What does that parent do when that actually puts in a bigger break in the relationship. No easy answers to that, but I think you you keep praying you keep loving you hold your ground.

I watch so many parents that say okay now you're going to do that would have us restrictions of your restriction of the rest your life less ridiculous. Yup, what's what. More intimidating as a month if you really mean it and back it up and back up and and your cell phone is put in the box and your computers off and were rings books together and we are and you do some yard work and you can go to your play in your room. Work in a walk-through and we, as a pastor and as a couple in ministry. We walked with lots of couples and continue to go through not just €13 and €23 and €33 were still wandering and and being clear, articulating what you believe where you stand and then just to follow through with love, but to follow through. But so many parents they will benefit out of that one situation where the parents told us there troublesome restriction of writing two or three weeks, two days later we son out to mess around around town election called Paradise a. Did you know your sons will yeah he said he was really sorry and he said he would do it again and I was like are you serious.

Do you love your kid about you another when a believer but we had Iva and sculptures if you love your kid you will follow this rule in and so those are good words about Kevin and Sherry Harney, authors of the book organic outreach for families. I think this is been really stimulating just thinking through how to engage those around you how to put a bit of risk into your life and in doing so honoring the Lord and drawing people closer to him. It's gutsy but it's the right thing. Thanks for being with us.

Thank you so much. Thank you. Committing to a life of evangelism is certainly never perfect but is Kevin and Sherry have shown us today on Focus on the Family. It is worth it is so true. John and I want to go back to what Kevin said near the beginning of the broadcasts that studies show that 97% of us don't have the gift of evangelism.

That's a big number but there isn't an escape clause in the great commission Jesus said therefore go and make disciples of all nations, not some of you. And if you're ready to take that next step is a family a perfect place to start is Kevin and Sherry's book organic outreach for families turning your home into a lighthouse love the title and it has the inspiration and ideas you need to team up with your kids and your spouse and boldly share your faith no matter what situation you're currently in a one way to be a light is by joining our support team here Focus on the Family be part of the team through this broadcasts at least 800 people each day.

Make a commitment or recommitment to Christ and that's what were about. And if you can give a gift of any amount today. I'll send you a copy of organic outreach as our way of saying thank you number to call to donate to get your copy of the gradebook is 880 family or stop by. The episode builds for more on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team. Thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family I'm John Fuller inviting you back. As we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ