Being a Champion to Your Grandkids

I was convinced that nothing can change what was going on in our marriage and I want to try anymore but my commitment to God, help me try one more time. We went to a hope restored marriage intensive and it was life-changing. The counselors created the safest environment we could imagine so that let us really talk one a much different course now and I believe we received a miracle that week received your free consultation and hope restored.com this is Jim Daly with Focus on the Family right at the start of our broadcast we want to pause to remember the more than 3000 American lives lost on September 11, 2001 in the terrorist attacks here in the United States.

New York fire Department Capt. J. Jonas and 12 of his men rescued a woman and survived inside the collapse of the World Trade Center's north tower. Here's Capt. Jonas reflecting on that day. I think most people will appreciating the small things in life right after September 11 and the I think we've gotten away from that, you know, the city became a small town overnight. This hope in each other out and skydive down the sentence, settled out with the yellow guarantees and everything you have to be taken away at a moments notice.

Saver what's good in your life.

Appreciate and September 11.

Should be a day where you take stock of your own family and friends and all of the day. So every September 11 remember the day. Remember, my friends, that were killed trying to save. It's been nine years since the terrorist attacks.

They are a reminder for us to always treasure our families to never take freedom for granted and most importantly to make sure we have a relationship with Jesus Christ. We will never forget day on Focus on the Family.

Casey encourages grandfathers to be a champion for their grandkids when it really gets down to we have to look at this thing called legacy and that's, live longer than us.

We have to be about something that's bigger than us to live longer than Carrie has an inspiring message today for the growing number of men who want to be championship grandfathers your hostess focus Pres. and Dr. Jim Daly and I'm John Fuller, John, here's an interesting stat. 90% of Americans over age 65 who have adult children are grandparents. I think that's a good thing but it's also challenging to be a grandparent.

Most men become grandfathers at about age 50, and with people living longer. Children should have more opportunity to know their grandparents that could be several decades of relationship and so today we want to talk about being intentional and making the most of grandparenting well leaving a spiritual legacy for your grandkids and carry Casey published a book with Focus on the Family is called championship grandfathering. Carrie is the CEO of championship fathering and is a pastor and motivational speaker and let's go ahead and hear that conversation recorded a little while back on Focus on the Family Gary welcome back to the microphone so honored to be with you and I carry when you came last time to Focus on the Family you had a grandchildren had a productive couple years and have four grown children and now you have nine grandchildren and five granddaughters and a grandson and their ages are pretty tight right yes there growing up together is really exciting to see how God worked it out that way. So we have nine grandchildren nine and we have two that are two years of age. Okay so here's the big question what's the difference between fathering a child and grandfathering a child, other than maybe not as many dirty diapers. Well, one of the exciting things is that they can come over and spend the night and then we can send them home right side you are you the you know that absolute spoiler of your grandkids. You're totally right here among the spoiler, believe it or not my bridesmaid your spiritual gift is hospitality. She is also a second grade teacher, so she is very smart, very orderly. Can you know schedule things she sends out an itinerary.

Believe it or not before Christmas at least a month and 1/2 two months of all the meals.

What we will be doing who's staying in what room and all of that and she's just that way you go out of your way. Beautiful way to lift your bride Melanie.

Why is that important as a grandfather to demonstrate that you granted well the heritage. Now we have to deal with the economics of life and enriches most puff country world and you want to leave an inheritance for you children, my grandfather did that I never met but when it really gets down to we have to look at this thing called legacy and that's gonna live longer than us.

We have to be about something that's bigger than us to live longer than us here and I saw that in my parents. That's what I really seek to do.

I can have title was CEO or ambassador for fathers and all of that, when it really gets down to it I have to model it and I have to leave that legacy to have that testimony you mentioned your grandfather.

How did he do that for you as a grandson. What did he do that caught your attention grown-up. Will I never met my mother's dad, my grandfather who was a pastor. One time I was preaching that granddad's old church and I was in the study comparing to go up to preach all coal black Jim walks he close to 90 at least 90 I had to come in and meet Marsalis is grandson that's a preacher your grandfather could write notes on a little piece of cardboard and put it in his pocket and preach better than most folks in that's in my DNA at the legacy that you present perfect. None of us but that's where I came from and it gives you something to aim for your heritage.

That's it. Now where you are. Jim, you have cut off the curse in your family that's due mentioned but granddad is Dan's everybody is dysfunctional as we are.

We have to draw the line in the sand and say this is how I'm going to carry myself now right you see and you don't have to do with a lot of words. Although you tell the next generation. But the way you live and a few months ago, half or year ago received a letter in the mail from a lawyer in Radford, Virginia, and was stating that some property is going to be sold by my on the last living I have on my mother side and granddad in 1942, pastoring a church for the home and some property, then the Lord took him home in 1945 and sold property naturally grandmother's name and then all the children but all of them pass. My mother and all her siblings passport went to that… Didn't want to take care of the property so she sold it so all of us grandchildren. Believe it or not, I wish I didn't have so many cousins at that moment.

At that moment, but the point I'm making is it talks about how you know the grandparents the inheritance that they have received from their parents as well within what they would leave and so he made an investment of an African-American gentleman.

I'm so proud because they talk about how messed up our families are, but here it was none of us ever met. Granddad we heard how great a preacher he is the bottom line is he did something this biblical even as we look at Psalm 78, and he did something that was biblical naturally living it out. He made investments. Even back then, before there was Larry Burket, Howard Dayton and all of our great people that really help us today but is not rocket science is in the Bible.

It's so good when you are looking at the current generation as a granddad with nine grandchildren. Is it a greater disconnect because of technology.

Is it tougher to be a grandparent today because they're so distracted the not sitting there on the porch with you much anymore man, sometimes even at the restaurant there just doing phones at the table.

I watch that.

Thankfully, Jean's been a stickler, God bless her and we nobody has a phone at our table at the daily household when were eating dinner together have problems yelling doing and how do you yet what do you do as a grandfather in this high-tech distracted grandchild environment how you connect with. I do believe there still biblically of how God made us. I look at my grandchildren. I asked him the question is like so who was your dad's dad who was your mom's mom and you're asking them questions and you get answers that Melanie and I and I believe all of them. We must be intentional.

We must focus our sales even when they have the phones don't belittle them lay down all the laws make it so exciting and with such great depth that they want to get to know you and that's comes to asking questions you given them rewards and things and I'm finding out my spirit is deeper and better now with my grandchildren that I was with my children sure this is Focus on the Family with Jim Daly and Carrie Casey is our guest today.

I hope you'll request his book championship grandfathering we got the details in the episode notes carry a lot of grandfathers may have the goal of relaxing and playing golf and enjoying the entertainment later in life. Have you become intentional as a grandfather when the grandkids come to visit this an investment and is just like we go to work. We make money. That's wonderful, but the investment in your own children.

My children will be my children until I go to glory. Hopefully I'll leave before them, but there's another part of that great investment. It's called grandchildren and that's the investment in the Casey family that I must make. I cannot just coast putting on auto pallet. These are some of the greatest years and I will half to continue to bill my parents the heritage that I received from them and then continuing their legacy you look at our Christmas card will Christmas time we make home alone look like a joke, but thinking about when I'm going to seem like yesterday my dad and mom are here dad and coach Tom Landry. The cowboy sized work there.

They passed on the same day, February 12, 2000 but I have to work with the heritage that I received an investment in you mention the word model young people need to see culture needs to see it today. No matter how dysfunctional or wack. We say this America is we have some great great option and that is the family and what you all of been doing for years, but that grandparenting it's going to a whole another level fully with those nine then be one of the things I didn't have grandparents that I never knew my grandparents but I remember the hope family who let my mom to the Lord. They were surrogate grandparents. I merely go over there Christmastime that it looked far from us. We were taken in this part of the family. They treated us like that. They had two sons over my oldest brother's age and that so but I remember some of the fondest memories going over there in the hopes and grandpa hope we can call him grandpa hope he was in this chair out and is he loved having that kind of an atrium with a garden in it and had a big recliner sit there with checkers and we come over would sit there and he would just take everybody on checkers including me the little five-year-old know he taught me how to play checkers like I'm sure he lost on purpose accompany this to build me out and that's what a grandparent does were especially grandfather told because those grandkids are looking for that affirmation all kinds of ways.

But even just plain checkers walking to the park together. Maybe playing catch. If you can still do that physically. It seems like a grandfather has even more impact than the dad in that way you have that wisdom that's what he had. He took something as simple as a game of checkers to literally help up raise up the next generation and that's wisdom. He knew that and he said he had to recliner. He's just chilling still sit all day met with the beautiful plants yeah enjoying nature and as I've gotten older.

There were things that I thought as I looked at my dad's body is like I'm never going to look like that coming.

But now look in the mirror Monday so my son who has four wonderful children. I watch the more he comes over more. He looks like me dresses like me and I'm supposed be ill never know, but he's becoming just like me. My oldest son Marcella sister would even chance now who's 20 came years later he's listening more.

Now you know in that relationship Carrie there can be some tension to with your son. Your grown son and his wife, and I'm sure in championship grandfathering or touching on this, which is how to maintain a healthy relationship with your kids. Your grown kids who are raising your grandkids, but I mean everyone right now listening is going to click these off.

I got tension there. They don't like the way I discipline them when there with me. They've asked me not to do that with the grandkids.

They don't want me to buy him sugar they come over there going grandpa about his doughnuts mom mom calls grandpa grandpa don't buy them donuts especially 25.

How you navigate that relationship with your kids and and breathe deep and navigate all of them. Well, like anything relationships and I'm learning to listen to my children also to honor them within two when you enter into that relationship with trust in any relationship that we have. We have to have trust with your boss with folks that work for you.

Trust takes it to a whole another level and so when you're able to be open and honest with your children and they can be open and honest with you and then you can share your desires you wishes in this type of thing, but it should not be too far off by you raising your children because they know you because there are things in Marcella's does.

My children do better.

Smith my son that they are doing now is it that you remember used to take us to a hotel in the wintertime and will play an indoor pool and so the other day. He said after we leave you all here at your home within a go to a hotel in the kids. My grandkids was so excited and looking at me, blinking is like this every night, is that the tradition continues. You touched on this. I want to get into this for a minute. The idea of fatherlessness and by definition grant fatherlessness in the culture. What is the impact you, you're coming from the African-American experience. Although now you know what it's 40% of kids almost 27 million children black white Latino it doesn't matter at this point higher incidence in the African-American community but were all going in the same direction and that is fatherless homes and speak from your heart about that because you mentor.

So many young people your football background Fellowship of Christian athletes.

The national Center for fathering and fathers.com I like to know how you got that domain. That's a good one, but how do we cope in this culture that seems to be cracking well.

Bottom line when you talk about the family. What you all done for years. As I stated earlier, that's the crisis, the family, we can balance the budget from the White House to our house, but if we don't have strong families and as you stated you from your background know you you grandfather you natural grandfather know that.

But every child needs a father, grandfather or father figure need to have someone is going play checkers with you that's going to encourage the kids right next door to me out believe I share this before here family with three boys. Dad hasn't been there since Brett was to but I'm their father figure, but now they see grandkids running into our home also. So I am modeling this they are going to watch you people would know that you are Christian by your love is not the love my grandchildren. I have to encourage and love others that are in my sphere of influence are true and that's the thing we have to realize is Dr. Martin Luther King. Share years ago.

What affects one directly affects all others in directly around them. If we really want to make an investment in American say what is it that I can do love God love you family natural children within you grandchildren the folks our listeners today that I just say hey give me some handles but I get up every morning the greatest thing I can do is to visit with God and to pray, give me wisdom give me the piece that I need and he says I'll supply your needs.

Also, and here I am been in nonprofits all my life I needs are met, our grandchildren think with the richest people in the world that I love is sending the boys like the Scripture verse on their phone and there will I do it at school things. The first time I did a trace and dad and that's buzzing in my class look at it when you get out of class but I want them to know and think about grandparenting that doors wide open total for a grandchild to know that grandpa knows who I am, cares enough to send me a note and it's just a great thing. Jim, let me say this real quick what you just said just pricked my heart to know the reason why. Do you know how many children would love to hear their phone plus from their father proud that you do. Their children that would love to hear that, but this have to affirmation look at John children that he has yourself they would love to have that affirmation. One thing we do as well. My family for years as I choose a Psalm of the week every Sunday night and I texted to Melanie and she texted to all the children and grandchildren will be able to receive that as well that's a good thing for everyone to do. Just think of that little thing you could do that takes very little time carry in your book championship grandfathering you had an excerpt of a little boy named Jordan is nine and this to me really begins to sum up our time together. Here let me read it and you can respond to it. Jordan wrote four months before I was born my real father left my mommy. He took care of her until I was born when I came home from the hospital. There was a cradle that grandpa made just for me someday my kids will sleep in the same cradle he rock me to sleep and he was my first babysitter. Now I'm nine years old and grandpa is my best buddy when I was for my grandpa spent the whole summer building me a playhouse with a big sandbox underneath it. Now he spends all his extra time building new rooms on our house so that mommy and I will have our own apartment after he spent all day mowing our big lawn is really tired but he will still have my wagon up to the lawnmower and drive me all over the place. My grandpa isn't my father but I wouldn't trade them for all the dads in the world that say it. That's the power of a grandfather. That's the power of a grandfather, and even in our culture. We talk about the father deficit and dance to not stepping up to the plate, some of them didn't have someone to help to model for them will talk about in chapter father loving coaching modeling.

That's what a dead phone into a research but a lot of children today are being raised by their grandparents in this great country. I'm so very thankful that they grandfather stepped up and every child needs a father and grandfather father figure. So there's that grandfather that stood in the gap for that young man and let me point out there are a lot of grandmothers yes Holland the load on that and I wanted my hat to the grandmas in your there. Doing such a great job out there to carry a little bit ago you mentioned your prayers, your morning prayers for your grandkids on your prayer list and if so what kind of things to pray for them because it occurs to me that a championship grandfather who was a man of faith is going at one of the greatest things he can do is pray for those grandkids is just like even today we have what you call 31 virtues to pray for you kids and so we use that and when I pray for my children and grandchildren is to have a servant's heart.

They will serve each other and serve those at their school and all of this and where they are employed, but I was convicted about 1012 years ago in my war room. As we say this Carolina room. The Lord said, you need to pray in this room.

He led me to do something that is so therapeutic for me and that is to write down all of their names every morning because God can do more than I ever could. If I had all of them around me every day, but the things that are coming against us today. We have to realize is, take strong spiritual force in the way of the Holy Spirit, and so I have found as I write down the names I can be very intentional in picture them as I pray for them and we will have a greater opportunity and I just love their prayer card to pray for them to have courage today. Pray on the 13th for their purity. Lord, my grandchildren. They don't even know how well they are smart.

They know how to spell sex but that they would remain to wait for their spouse when they're married. But to pray intentionally and that way and God is honoring that in a wonderful way but I do know I'm being attacked in ways that I never can imagine that. So I have to be in prayer for my dad for the heritage I received for the legacy that I will leave and I think it be great to process John online for folks to go to will look at those virtues we may come up with a few of her own will create something that other people could pray over their grandkids and their kids. I'm still thinking in the dad mode. It would help the grandparents to relax the teams it will win the Super Bowl will be the ones that keep the pulleys don't lose their minds even when it's tough. I love that occur.

She played college ball and it is wonderful to see that championship attitude and you've done this in your book humbled to be able to do now, you know, helping us get this message out in the championship grandfathering and that's when one day – challenge and all of Brad's good and carry it's always inspiring to have you here.

I love your message what you doing to build people up. That's who you are and you really learn that from your dad and I we heard a little bit the other day at our Focus on the Family Chappell about the relationship he had with them. What an amazing man.

The thing I said when I got on stage with you is that a great father has created another great father and now great-grandfather with not a great grandfather but wonderful father Tony Evans rolled forward to our new blog chapter grandfathering but he's a great-grandfather now he looks younger than me. So for all the granddad that there get this book championship grandfathering. It'll equip you with ideas and other things that you can do to be the grandfather you grandkids only publish the book with. Casey and I get your copy. We got details in the episode notes and if you can please support the work here at Focus on the Family today as we make resources like caries book available and do so much more to help you in your parenting and marriage journeys make a generous financial gift today and will send that book to you is our way of saying thank you for joining the support again the number 800 K and work for on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team. Thanks for listening to Focus on the Family I'm John Fuller inviting you back. As we once more help you and your family drive this season of your life are always moving forward married painting and threw it all.

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