Intelligence: Discovering Your Child's Unique Gifts (Part 2 of 2)

With all that's happening in the world right now you may be looking for ways to both entertain and encourage your family would like to help you do just that by giving you a 28 day free trial of the adventures in Odyssey club you can find our back catalog of adventures in Odyssey programs. These exciting episodes are a great way to keep you and your family connected to truth. As you continue to navigate through significant changes to your lives to go to AIU club to get started on your free 28 days of adventures and ops that's AIU club.work. This is John Fuller. Please remember, let us know how you're listening to these programs on podcast Apple website. I've had pictures smart and uses module and say to me talk to Kathy. I knew I was talented and creative and artistic, but I didn't know I was smart. I thought my brother was the smart one jam it changes their whole perspective on the gifting's and on their tomorrow's a great observation from our guests in the last Focus on the Family radio program that's Dr. Kathy Cook and she's back again to share more insights on what she calls the multiple intelligences that we all have. I'm John Fuller and roasted spoke as president to Dr. Jim Daly and John Dr. Kathy Cook. She shared some really remarkable material last time. As we look at the eight different types of smarts that's an easier way to say what you just said and that that's the title of her book 8 great smarts and working to cover more that that if you missed the program last time I'd encourage you to get the CD get the download get on your smart phone that's an easy way to listen to Focus on the Family.

Just get the app and you can hear it on your own time and that your own pleasure, but I am really thrilled to have Kathy back on the program today and she is a very popular speaker. She's an author's written a number of books and Jim pretty much every time we have Dr. Cook here with a lot of response from listeners or sin that really was something I could take and apply. In my own parenting situation right today. That's true and I think it's because her heart is so big for children and you know what we Christian parents are hearts are big for our kids to and what Kathy does so wonderfully is she opens up our understanding of how God has wired us. Our personality are giftedness our talents and you know his parents sometimes that can irritate us to see kids acting in different ways from us and working to give you tools today to calm down recognize this the genius in your children and let it blossom. Kathy welcome back to focus thinking, thrilled to be here. Hey, we were talking last time about the eight types, we kinda went through them real quickly.

We covered body smart and we did that, when pretty well, let's turn to the other seven, now let's start with school smarts. I think you defined it as word and logic. I know as a father of two teenagers, word and logic seems to be not part of the cab. So what I gotta do at first let me say that the reason I call the school smarts is that we talk read listen right and ask and answer questions all day long in school and so children who have more brain cells for these two smarts will find school a friendlier, easier, more successful place to be and yet all of us know people who were very successful in school and are flanking life and vice versa, and vice versa, which is evidence at all. Eight matter. So if you want to raise good kids. Kids who enjoy life kids who embrace life kids to have a successful life. Make sure that you awaken, strengthen, focus and train all aids and yet I understand the heart of the dad and the mom this time of the year. In particular, possibly, is that school smart focus of word and logic we need to help the vocabulary we need to help them with how to ask good questions how to answer questions thoroughly. The difference between why and how the difference between describe and defend on the difference between judge and evaluate or the difference between compare and contrast because those were will be a say words used in our junior high's middle schools and high schools. What if kids don't know those vocabulary words and they don't do as well way. No Kathy, the system is pretty much set up for people with word and logic. Smart school smarts as you call them. How do we beat the rigging of the system for our kids be advocates for our children who may be struggling that area.

They're not stupid kids know I don't even know if there is such thing as a stupid child know we need to allow them to blossom and to move in. Maybe in a more fruitful way. But how do we help our children overcome the system. If your children have teachers who go out of their way to teach a collectively with a variety of methods in a variety of assessment options say thank you Inc. you and thank you again because it's really hard work because the system may be flawed toward the word, and logic. So, I praise God for teachers who get this and understand that we've got to give kids a chance to prove that they know it, and that there well off in school even if they take a different path.

Getting to the knowledge absolutely my friend and we can teach the kids went very logic smart Francis will really struggle with vocabulary, possibly for not very word and logic.

But what if there very picture smart. We can let them draw the definition. What if we have these kids draw an apartment building, a condo, a house, a ranch style home of factory would have them draw a cul-de-sac, a highway, a street right and we proved to the drawing that they understand the differences. What if we could correct that and say that was well done and PS could help kids study at home with those smarts that they have more brain cells in even if they go back to school on Tuesday and take a written vocabulary test. Your son has picture smart when having to write out the definition of apartment building will remember.

Oh wait I do that taller and wider with all kinds of windows that's the building that a lot of people live in an independent units and they pay rent to somebody that will work for these kids. That's unbelievable and I I've not experienced that because I don't believe I've hit that as a parent, haven't you done yet as you're talking Dr. Cook I'm thinking about my youngest to who is pretty word smart, but he memorizes by looking at the list will be going to school work. This past last school year were checking Latin. And so he's he wants to know the order that they're all in because he's got it figured out their pictures of the words in his mind of what that does study listed and so I think you're onto something that just might help me there. That's great. And here's another one. What if the kid isn't very word but is very music. How do you spell Mississippi have the tune MI SSI SSI PPI and you will never not know that the ABCs the books of the Bible in order by song.

Music is very powerful for long-term memory.

So if you're parenting a child without a lot of word and logic and is struggling with math facts and spelling in the order of events for history test they can put to song and they'll take the test and hum the song in the do much better.

That's effective and even if a teacher doesn't understand this and doesn't assign that when the appearance of grandparents teach this to their children so they can go off into their room and they can make up a song because they've been in power to be smart. The way that they are created to be smart that's I laugh because I'm thinking of how many times in my 20s and 30s, people would say which comes first, like you are in our night start ABCD rhythm is, and that the other thing that I love about the book work and continue into the other traits. The other smarts but is this idea of character challenges you might have with that particular banter that particular smart so with the school smart child. What are those character challenges that you might find a questioning of those of us were word smart.

We can gossip tease name call to use words to destroy exactly we use a gift from God for harm.

We we always want to have the last word we could impress some of the vocabulary so anything well done, badly done is not well done.

We need to be really careful of that on the logic smart kids on one of the strengths that we have when were logic smart is solving problems.

But guess what, we can also create problems for other people to solve it for logic smart. We can also often figure out how to get into trouble and not get caught because were logical, and we think ahead and we reason our way toward something. So for that parent that has that child. Amina and I would think these are the honorable kids for the most part you put the bumper sticker on really praising their academic ability, there verbal ability, their vocabulary, but there is that danger, they will either become or maybe already are verbal attackers. How do we recognize the gift and then say but Johnny but Mary, here's what you gotta do with other people that maybe struggle here play that out for us what is apparent due to recognize they got brilliance in a certain area, but same time, it comes with a weakness. This is what I wrote in the book so much about developing the character developing the heart along with the mind and was very interesting.

Jim and John about school smart kids if I can call them that those who find schools easier to be this sometimes don't feel they need character they don't need to learn to persevere. They don't need to be diligent, they don't need to be teachable and ask for help because it all comes easily to them and then the deed that there struck by something that's challenging and difficult. Now they feel stupid. All of the sudden they don't not handle it and that's when the misbehavior will often ramp up because of the stress that's internally within so if you are raising these kids to find school a safer place to be. You must establish the dialogue about character in it immediately when they're young so that they don't put all of their eggs in the basket of brain because one day they may not feel as smart as they are feeling today to find out somebody is smarter and then again I want to be egotistical and prideful and competitive and judgmental and you want that kid's we talk about character. The whole time and then is apparent when you see a child tease her gossiper name caller or argue which is logic and word together. We we call sin.

Sin.

But we call strength. Strength okay and we look at them, especially if we taught them this we say Elizabeth you proving again how word smart you been created to be. But sweetheart you're not using your words well think about it sweetheart.

Were talking about self-control and self-respect and living in community and in giving life to your brother and sister you not doing that today and were disappointed that we don't want you to stop talking because the gift but you gotta learn how to use your words well we have those conversations but but there are parents who are saying authentic conversational wise it is. Over and over timing is another thing you can parents can get weary of saying this is what you note, being verbally positive means for your word smart child. When Kenny don't stop investing in that area right because, 13, 14 and may they hear you, but they may not deploy the advice but it doesn't mean it's lost absolutely children tell me all the time.

They want parents to speak life over them like kids are knocking to come as a daddy what you think of this. Just not unfortunate, but they still care even though there be behavior may not indicate if they are still massive, absolutely. But they still value your opinion. They still want to know. Remember what my parents did, then will be in children's theater. They want to be exposed to other children like me using the gift in a healthy way. So that's another thing to consider mentors who do you know who's a lawyer who's a politician who's a great expositor of Scripture you have over for dinner to talk to your son about the positive use of this logic smart word, smart, argumentative brain you have, how to use that to solve problems, how to use it to research and that you might be the one that creates the tools we need to solve a real issue.

We we don't want to paralyze.

We don't want you rejected by your peer group because you're so verbose. We have to learn. I've had to learn to listen.

Those of us who have a lot of word smart and logic. Smart gifts tend not like small talk so I can be out with friends, and I consider that were having small talk, and I'm thinking about powerful question to ask. We can get a bit more serious. I've had to learn to not ask it all the time to honor my friends and to just have fun and did talk about things that aren't all that significant. But there's joy there and I choose to go there and I've had to learn and to do that and I've watched other people and I've learned to receive the modeling in and we'll have a healthier attitude, one that sounds like were Paul writes about being content in all things, and you're sitting at the table that that applies all the same, and yet be content with the people around you and listen.

I like that you touched on picture smart was moved that once we get through the items here but picture smart. I think I may have one child. The desert is very good at art I don't know that that necessarily connects it, but is typically good artist as a child is someone who is picture oriented. Yes it's interesting to them because the smarts never work alone to someone who is body smart and thinks by movement and touch and has good control of their hand eye coordination and is also picture smart will often be able to build with clay and maybe watercolor well somebody who's just picture smart in his and his body smart would never do the clay or the crafting interest okay so there is art as a component that shows up for pictures. My kids think with their eyes and pictures will be fiction and history because they read it and they see it or they hear a lecture and they see it and it gives life to that subject matter over that picture smart child who really sees the world that way communicates that way. What would be some of their character of potential character issues. Judging a book by its cover.

Meaning judging a person by appearance. Their eyes are very powerful.

They observe and these are the nonverbal inputs or maybe waited to have a way for them excellent and the lesson it's irrelevant.

I love you said too heavily because it's not irrelevant but they would be quick to judge based on what they see pornography is huge sin obviously so sad isn't it, how many young children invent will find that and what's really tragic is that picture smart children who find it will find it very appealing videogames that might be very dramatic and violence might actually be very appealing to the picture smart child because the eyes matter so much and once they seen it. They have a very hard time not seen it, so that's interest in the tragedy with pornography.

If I can go there is I've met with people who haven't actively sought porn for a very long time, but can still see what they saw and still feel like they're sending so that would be a picture smart horsemen very much and this is why we have to help our children guard their eyes with the right boundaries and we have to be the kind appearance or they can come to is a daddy. I saw something I've choose my eyes because it's not their fault that they were attracted to that because if you picture smart you think in pictures.

Your eyes are your power that your ears are not your mouth, and it's attractive and young children who don't know it sin.

Yet I never wanted great context to have that parent-child discussion. In fact, when we say this is why this is attractive. This is why hope you want to work is why Satan has you stuck here. This is why this is your sin issue because the devil wants to take your strengths and damage them and destroy them, diminish them and say to you, you are bad and you are not bad because you are picture smart and creative and imaginative, and you see things you are smart in a unique way, but you must be careful and let me help you will at that should speak to the heart of every parent listening right now and that is from her heart Dr. Kathy Cook and you're listening to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly you can find out more about Dr. Cook.

Her book 8 great smarts, a CD or download or her mobile apps he can listen to this again all of that information and lots of parenting helps@focusonthefamily.com/broadcast Kathy, let me ask you this. We covered the handful of these now in music.

Smart to him. He is a no-brainer specially were teenagers.

And like all teenagers were music smart beyond their parents ability of what's happening there wise music, smart, a gift many of his parents might think it's not so much a gift great question again.

I think it's been awakened earlier because music is everywhere on apps that buys and bebop on video games and websites and just that the pervasive, it is pervasive and so there ease of access would activate that part of the brain earlier and cause children to gravitate there. What I think is happening. Jim is there's a lot of interest there's not necessarily a lot of ability, intelligence is always start with interest.

They will only be flamed into her fanned into ability. When the interest is affirmed when the children I may be given private lessons there taken the concerts they are introduced again to mentors possibly who sing while they use music to edify the Lord so it's a powerful part of the thing. I'm actually very concerned about children who idolize music who idolize musicians who think it's easy who are allowed to keep Oz in the ears and ignore the people and that would be a very negative attribute for I'm very music smart and went to the University I went to the marching band. I have no music on my phone because I know my boundaries and I don't want to go there.

I don't know a harsh thing.

I don't deposit my ear in airports and airplanes know where my choice not saying that that's right for everyone, but I want to invest in people. That's really fascinating know that when I was a teenager in high school.

I never listen to music you didn't appeal to me in college, I never listened but now I listen to more Christian music. A lot of Christian music and I enjoyed third day is a great band that I like and but back when I was kid I could care less. I was in the sports and school night. You know I would actually look down a little bit on people that were so in the music that they could do other things. What's interesting about that is it's proof that the brain can be awakened at any time. So I believe your boys awakened more that music smart and you know that could be raising boys their older there teenagers are into music the coming you insane dad like the song, and so by choice to interact with to engage to connect to be empowered with your boys. God used them to awaken that part of your brain and now you enjoy music off and yet you know Kathy last hammered together. You talked about the science behind this and I want to make a comment here that I think you would agree with there's research out there in academic circles where the brain is pliable at an early age 6 to 12 I think is kind of the range were if you don't get exposure to tone in foreign language, you actually will struggle as an older child. After 12 years old to gain a sense of tone and to be able to do foreign language more easily. Is that in my hearing that correctly when I read that literature is it that short a period of time that the human brain.

I mean, it begins to harden as I remember reading the literature that your brain is pliable and at about age 12. It begins to harden literally it does. We have until age 25 for total brain development which is either really encouraging a really discouraged so I got a 25 1/2-year-old really sad right now. Fascinating is passing. This is why we should never give up. But the thing that's so cool is that for young children are correct, they have an easier time with learning different things because the brain is more pliable and habits haven't been set in and they haven't received messages from the culture that have said you can't do that will even say that kid is soaking up stuff like a sponge. We have and we say that we do. The good news is that the brain is pliable and can be developed through effort it will take more effort and perseverance as you age, but it's still possible and I think of her motivated because of the connection factor will be able to do it, Kathy. Last time we covered body smart and again if you missed it, get the download but we didn't touch on the character challenges of a body smart child. So what would that the character challenges be for that kinetic body smart child is moving a lot and learns by being active, touching everything, even though they've been told not to touching sisters in our touching every thing the museum and kicking and punching and forcing their way to the front of the line because they can make their body do that is nobody eligible howler forcefulness and then sell smart about self smart cells where kids crave quiet and peace into a lot of thinking alone, they become very opinionated because they thought deeply about things easily.

Anybody else yet to be a little egotistical, but that is the lack of teachability pride in their thoughts know all this pride can enter into all of these but for the self smart mind. It is often that they don't share their opinions matter in the can become bossy and argumentative. In that regard, especially if there also logic and word smart and people smart. You have that one people start censuring what what is that you people smart people think well with other people, but they also have an ability to read body language. So we're the ones who can determine if you're mad happy satyr glads without a word without words.

We walked toward a dad to ask for a favor, you have no written all over your body and so we turn around and then the data is I can help you and the kid is like no because I want you to say yes and you're going to say no. So we have a strength to observe and respond appropriately.

But that also means we have the ability to manipulate you and or to motivates the strength to be to motivate and to see you sat in the love on you or to see you frazzled and take advantage of that by knowing that your week and so we get you to do something that otherwise you wouldn't have done so that's a negative use of that people smart ability so that's people smart. That combination of things.

Let's touch on that because your right in saying that you're not one thing you know this is in a personality profile test you got all of this.

It's a matter of developing it.

Can a person actually be really smart in all eight smarts absolutely. I think if you raised eclectic leave the earlier there awakened, the greater the likelihood there is strength for a lifetime. If you can well when children are young still have a greater aptitude for all eight and then if they've been exposed to a variety of people in a variety of experiences variety of toys a variety of books, all that matters in the awakening process. I guess it's possible it's not necessary, though, so I don't and when the listening go I have to go and get smarter. In this way really is been created to be and accept who you are. I think that's really important. What about the parents who are saying wow okay my kids in our 15 1617 and you're going, I had no clue this is how it was all working now it's making sense to me. My why my people smart child has been demonstrating his behavior, his or her entire life had a backup and connect with that. More thoughtful, almost adult oriented older child now to say hey let's talk about this. This is fascinating. When I heard today on Focus on the Family. That's exactly what I would love for them to do to be mature and to treat the child is more mature and to have the respectful conversation I've learned something about you. I'd love to share it because what we giving people today is powerful language to explain what they've observed for years while you counseled these kids. What do they say to you when you open this window for them and they go now I know why I am the way I am. I've had pictures smart and uses my children say to me, Dr. Kathy, I knew I was talented and creative and artistic, but I didn't know I was smart. I thought my brother was the smart one Jim.

It changes their whole perspective on the gifting's and on their tomorrows. I've had people smart children raised her hand to say I can make my dad say yes when he should've said no then I say don't ever be part of that again. And there's instant silence. And then there's tears as they recognize that a strength has been used in a negative way. I've had cells my children and sell smart moms and dads come to me and go. Now I understand why have to isolate some time. I'm not lonely I'm not alone. I'm not bad I'm not negative I'm self smart and I need time and it is okay. I no longer feel like I'm a slow thinker on a reflective person. Identity controls behavior and language is powerful and this gives life to people and so I'm so grateful to be here Kathy were right at the forefront of the new school year.

It's gleaning toward that logic, smart word, smart child. You might have a child. It's not as well developed in that area in a few weeks. Now they may not do that well on the exam.

You can start to worry. They got the D maybe VF and you're panicking and you start putting pressure on that child. Come on, you gotta study more. I mean I'm speaking a bit of experience here. How do we embrace that child for how God has made them not let them get away with being lazy.

But how do we balance all that. It's a great question because that's the question of age. I know what I do this in a live training.

That's why they come.

We need to accept them for who they are and know that they're not stupid. There smarts differently.

We need to believe that they can become smarter in word and logic.

If your kid is in the type of the school wears a very word logic smart school got the book in support Focus on the Family and read those chapters and look for my ideas about how to help them study them. Don't help them to study, help them study you know by the magnetic letters the refrigerator and let them make their spelling words, they are let them do things creatively and differently. At the same time that you say look your music smart, let's put it to a rhythm figure.

People smart. I know that because I listen to this broadcast was revolutionary your people smart come study with me asked me questions. Let's talk together about it and learn together and I need to say that if you want your kids to accept who they are. You have to accept who they are.

You have to do their gods creative miracle uniquely designed with his intentionality and it's not always easy but let me remind you do something we said in the first broadcast and that is you can do really well in school and not do really well in life and that's not what we want for our kids. We want them to do well in school and while in life, so all eight matter that's well said Dr. Kathy Cook eight great smarts discover and nurture your child's intelligences.

This is been really good and I hope you will contact us to get a copy of the book and for a gift of any amount, help us put this resource into the hands of people who can afford it by supporting the ministry send a gift of any amount request the book and we want to say thank you in that way by giving you this book. When you help us so do it today. We need your help.

People need your help and you can donate and find Facebook and other helpful resources@focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or when you call 800 the letter a in the word family 800-232-6459 Kathy this is been so good when Jean and I are going to read this and have the kids read it to and I just want to say thanks for being with us to join and honor and let me suggest that parents buy copies of the book for grandparents for the teachers of their children. What a better way than to help the people who have authority over your children understand them better and I pray that in a great way to support focus, bequeath, gotta be on your side and that way well. Thanks again for being here, my pleasure. On behalf of Jim Daly, and the entire team. Thanks for listening to Focus on the Family I'm John Fuller hoping you have a great weekend and inviting you back on Monday as we once more help you and your family thrive