Family in Crisis: Long-Term Care, Who's Gonna Pay?

Hey this is Jim Graham from the masculine dirty podcast where we explore relationship instead a religion every week your chosen Truth Network podcast is starting in just a few seconds to enjoy it Sarah but most of all, thank you for listening you for choosing The Truth Podcast Network this is Truth Network welcome to finishing well brought to you by Cardinal guy, certified financial planner belonged to Schild, best-selling author and financial planner helping families finish well for over 40 years finishing well will examine both biblical and practical knowledge to assist families in finishing well, including discussions on managing Social Security, Medicare, IRA, long-term care, life insurance and investments and taxes. Now let's get started. Finishing well, finishing well is a general discussion and education issues facing retirees guide.com advisors I'm Schild, CFP some insurance this show does not offer investment products or investment advice. Boy are we in for a treat today on finishing well if you're like me and and wondering about some of these things and how can I make sure that my life finishes. Well, I think you're to be more than blessed by how God is given us this wonderful new outfit here at the Truth Network cons Schild, and Hans is a certified financial planner, but more than that Hans God had you at a specific place and time.

In some people's lives when it comes this topic of long-term care where you got to see you know God, what have you got for me here. Yeah, I mean in my book with the very first chapter talks about my whole journey of what brought me here and establish my voice isn't specifically dealing with my mother in 2011 I was dealing with her before that in with her Alzheimer's and her care. My sister passed away who was her primary caregiver.

Suddenly, in 2011 and we were left with a mom that lived six, 700 miles away still lived independently relied on my sister and she's now deceased, and we so then I became along with my sisters. Her primary caregivers and she live 700 miles away. And so we learned a lot about Alzheimer's and we learned a lot about people with dementia and we learned a lot about caring for them providing for them, providing for their medical needs or physical needs the help.

We relocated my mom through a lot of resistance from her because she was happy retired in the community.

She was in and enter friends there brought her back to carry North Carolina and just really responsible for her care and no talk today when were opening up with the discussion of long-term care which is one chapter in the book and is not the first chapter and so but working to start there and then were going to bounce around the book a little bit in my mother's story is through this is is really in this book throughout, but were also going to talk about client stories and real client Ryan and then that's that's something that you gotta put a face on these issues because it's one thing to say, wow, do you have long-term care, you think you can live forever.

Do you think you can end up needing this but when you actually see the face of it, it looks like this and you felt God, now cannot touch talking on you when these things were happening. Is there a story like that.

The comes to mind. Half brother is like Michael and Christina in the book. You know their their client-side change their names with their real people and over in Cary and Raleigh area and Michael was in enter in a very bad way he he he he had trouble with alcoholism in his his second wife, who is not the mother of Christina had died like three years prior, and my guess is she probably help keep Michael somewhat together and he he he deteriorated quite a bit after her death, and he didn't literally didn't open his mail, he didn't manage his money. You know unfortunately there was some money there and some assets and some income coming in.

It was all in direct deposit, but Christina came into the picture with him when somebody from the borrower or somebody that knew him through his only social network which is the neighborhood bar that he walked to found her because he was just he was passed out and am capable of think it will take care himself so she went down there rescued him got a minute assisted living got them situated. She couldn't even bring her into her own house or she has four daughters and but I had met her yet and she got to some other professionals to try to get to know a lawyer, CPA, a person that specializes in veterans benefits. So he was a veteran. He is a veteran yes I served in Vietnam.

He was at the time. I believe 71 and she was after that veterans aid and attendance which she had only learned about from the facility didn't really know what it wasn't letter to this guy that did this for her and then you know I don't going to a lot of detail about that was just put it that these people really didn't do right by her, and you can read about it in the book the whole story, but the God by the way, I should tell you is that planning for the cardinal complete guide to complete Cardinal guy I get it right. Cardinal complete cardinal guide to planning for living in retirement, which is now there Cardinal guy.com which will talk about throughout the show. But again, so he 71, the ease of veteran he's there.

I hunted Christina in the company. Well, actually the guy with the veterans didn't really know how to move any money around me.

He always would send his clients back to their financial advisor. Their parents financial advisor of the person that was managing the money was, hard to do with him because he been AWOL from anybody for years so he called me over there to just while she was in there and there were middle of a problem is that they now need to start moving her money around and he thought he had an idea of like where it all on a go for this veterans planning but I just matter right there in a bitter conflict where the attorney was there and these people that like I said hadn't necessarily done her right hand totally done wrong either at me just they had sat on staff and they were not communicating well. In any case I get introduced to her and then I realized to I just invited over my office the next day I said can you bring dad over there because were going to need him.

She said I'd love to. And so she brought her dad over my office the next day and all this mountain of paperwork and with the gist of it is is that if you have an older person or any person that that the quids communicated quit opening their male okay they mail gets returned there certain signals that there to lock the account. I mean it in. They have a status report. I can't come up with the word now but you know a financial institution like like Fidelity or Charles Schwab or someplace like that which is where it was parked. It was in either one of those that's their procedures they just lock it down so and eventually entering the money over the state and you have this problem with people with dementia that really have been handling all things themselves through their older ages, and then it got to a point where they just were able and they just can't quit doing things so I got them over my office and we started looking. We had the power of attorney so she's power of attorney so she now has the right to do things with this we got him there, but they wouldn't even talk to her at the financial institution on the phone because it was locked down. Need to talk to him and of course to verify his Social Security number.

All the same things Asher for your full name and which her mother's maiden name is and know that kinda stuff and so we took one shot at that it didn't work very well so we put all that stuff on flashcards for him. We rehearsed it and then we called back and see he was very congenial and just. Long story short, we we we got through that screen in the game is addressing a Ms. thing and then then he said that is going to be okay to talk to me and talk to her and then we fax them the power of attorney and now were in control of the money so that we can actually see what's there. Other than the statement what's been done by the way this guy and file tax returns and 10 years either. Okay, so, and then when you're applying for veterans aid and attendance. I was na�ve enough at that point to think that you gotta have the last two years or three years tax returns. I later learned that was incorrect. There's a lot of stuff like this that you run across in families and and how do we make sure this is not just can't tell you it's it's a little bit worse and that people haven't paid their insurance premiums. I mean there's all kinds of things and pay their taxes like property taxes and it's just we missed it one year and then we didn't open the mail and then acquits, but wanted tell you is there's a lot of secrecy in families around.

If you think about you think about your own family is is when mom and dad were 65 and 70 and 75 they didn't want to talk to you about their money. That was kind and none your business okay and they wanted to be independent and they were independent and maybe they done some for your brother that they didn't tell you about and you know you're the daughter there that's can appear in into the sink set so this is all set up by the kindest secrecy thing now that are in their 80s and so you brought up the point is is that just you probably have people allow you listeners are. You probably have people that just like Robbie is right now going through your mind as I wonder where they are. I, have some Anthony thing of really think about this if you're listening with many counselors plan succeed you may have heard that proverb, but to have a professional like yourself something that you really trust to be the Internet because you know if I go Sam in a mom what happened with this there dad, whatever that you know it's awkward but if you got some you like yourself. That was what Christine was with everything she had. You jump in there and help her. Yeah me. She had a whole pile of stuff to them and they've gotten to the point where you you really need to follow wherever mom and dad go to answer one of those questions like what happened to this or where is this, or where is that insurance policy. They're going to go to somewhere back at that file cabinet or the desk in the back room more somewhere you need to go with and you just need to look at that and what I really need you do if you can come in and see me is I need you to take the whole stack packet up and bring mom and dad or if they can't make it in because of their health situation that may be a health situation is brought it on. Then you need to get their approval to just bring it in and then the first thing we can do is get you over to the attorney in and get a power of attorney done. We may have to come call on mom and dad maybe you already have, ever.

My point is is that this is not usually that simple. Just hold up the flashcards is there's a whole stack of papers 80 of percent of which are youth useless and then 20% that we need to serve.

See listening to.

If you just want turn in anything. What am I hearing what you're hearing is Hongqiao a new show finishing well and is brought to you by Cardinal guy.com. Of course we want to let you know that we have got some really cool resources at their website, which is, as you might guess Cardinal guy.com, including these books planning for and living in retirement and in the accompanying workbook and as were talking about like long term care this week. You can go to their website right there and that there's these list of seven. What worries and when you see long-term client care. You can click on that and is you go down on the form you'll see there's a free PDF you can check out that workbook and think about some of the things that you might find out about your family, at eight you know when these questions that obviously affect us as we are facing these issues of long-term care. Again, this shows finishing well Hongqiao certified financial planner, but what a cool thing to bring biblical presidents of both biblical wisdom to this very touchy subject, family, so will be back in just a moment. So glad you were looking forward to seeing how the other side of right. Hans and I would love to take our show on the road to your church and Sunday school Christian or sitting room. Here's a chance for you to advance the kingdom through financial resources and leveraging Hahn's expertise and qualified charitable contributions veterans aid and attendance and IRA, Social Security, Medicare, and long-term care. Just go to Cardinal guy.com and contact Tom to schedule a live recording of finishing.com Cardinal guide.com welcome back to finishing well and if you're just tuning in your career been talking about story of the family that found themselves in a crisis right that they had been opening the mail they had been checked and is that the story was that here was his need for long-term care and somebody had the resources to do it but trying to unwind that was a bit messy but before we go much further in the story of Christina tell us a little bit Hans about you what what what you mean by long-term characters are in I'm 62 and I'm thinking well that a nursing home. What is a mess first thing you think is nursing home is certainly is where all this was birth today's date and time you can spend your first year two of a long-term care event at home but I've been offering long-term care insurance for 30 year prevalence of home healthcare is just so much greater now were also talking about assisted living, which you know it really is a modern-day nursing home. The people they are happy to getting cared for, well, you're like in that position where some of us have parents that are there some of us are are there. We won't go there yet. Anyway, how do you suggest that kids approach their parents on that subject. Usually the parents are fully aware that this could be happening some time between now and when they finish their life okay that between now and the end in many times you just got one parent left the other parent went through that so there's more awareness of the probability or possibility of a person needing care and these are discussions that people needed to have their kids need to raise them with their parents because the burden is going to fall upon them, and it's in the Bible might sent you the quotes that want to leave a lot of that to you Robbie to help as the pastor here. The can can can state that we we have a responsibility to look after her parents, just like Christina did and what what what I can provide you is the education and in the tools to actually do that right and there's all sorts of resources along these lines that we don't necessarily connect to long-term care. But there's aspects of Medicare so security all those things that connect to that rent will absolutely mean the whole business of retirement in the United States of America is about government programs. Whether you're rich, poor, and between a EEE. It is an know with long-term care. You really don't have much in government programs for the common ordinary people of the Medicaid you will talk about that in the second but I think what you're referring to in Michael and Christina's stories veterans aid and attendance. I mean ultimately that's what we help Michael get and it's paying him $1700 a month and change tax free and has been for probably 2 1/2 years. He's really a young person on that program in his low 70s and is much needed money, and it's paying for some of the care and we you know after my mother got qualified on that and I really was a student during that process I decided to go in the business of helping people do this and you really you suggested that you get some resources other than the people of the veterans coming that you and and we have that program as it would matter is outside resources at all. He still qualified for that regardless. He is after he does some financial planning with us so that I do still have an income test. They have an asset test and they have of the veterans speaking out, and they also have a service requirement so but it's very easy to do financial planning is very very easy for us to set their finances up in such a way, through the use of the children that they completely legally qualify for this we did for my mother done it for you know� The not say 100 clients yet, but somewhere short of that we done for a lot of them, and this is where that CFP thing, comes in which it would be a good point to talk about that is really cool that you have the other aspects like you know Medicare and so security, whatever. But then that the financial planning goes along with it has to do with that essentially certification and can you share with our listeners little bit about that when you when you're CFP there is 80,000 of us in the United States so I don't know how that relates to the whole financial so there's plenty of us around in every ZIP Code that I'm speaking to you go online you find that stuff in my books and you can find CFP I'm a CFP with a specialization in working with seniors and retired folks and people older age is typically all my clients aren't like Michael there just going into a nursing home.

Many of them are 60, 65, 70, and they're just going on Medicare and their more planning for this financially planning for it that if this happens to me how I can pay for and it really more importantly than how you pay for how you can access resources that are suitable to you and suitably your family and nurture children that are gonna bear the burden of this and people become keenly aware of that because if you're the one getting the care you're knocking to be doing the management.

That's the interesting thing to me is that the family aspect of that, you know, when we start to run out of ways to care for ourselves right in and we don't even necessarily like, in this case even open our mail or whatever because we become disabled. It's the family that end up ends up in a being the one the step in and tried to take care of you. But you claim is planned at a time you do this planning for your kids or your spouse visits.

Also, the spouse a lot of times those are women. That's the healthy spouse is the man get sick before the woman dies and then you know but it's the whole family is as people age, and the children and a lot of times it might be just one kid there might be one adult child is right there proximate for a couple of them were there, financially able to take the time to do this and so we get involved in the care a little bit but were all about the money. I mean we visits take all the resources and put them down in you know they all become at risk when when when when this happens, and then even if you have sufficient resources. That's a question which Wednesday a tap how you shop for care to have the proper legal documents in place and like getting this veterans I don't do that to me. We have a veterans accredited attorney that were affiliated with works right. My business and she she's the one that actually knows the veterans on the CFP certified financial planner.

That's looking at the whole picture and arranging a plan she's doing the veterans part of in the legal documents part of and it's interesting and I can't help but relate to things as a car salesman. But the truth sets you free set to speak and so many families have been hiding their financial truth from their kids or their spouse or whatever the situation may be that at this point in time. What would seem prudent to keep in out close to the vest of the speak turns out to be an absolute nightmare.

If you don't have somebody in the between helping you get to the truth of always yeah me a big part of mine is a counselor to sit down with that child log times, only one of them is going to come in the other one lives in a different city. They're not as interested. A lot of times it's a daughter not always. There some guys but it's just one of and then we gotta get mom sit down in the air and dad in you know we can have a little we gotta tell all you know and we got this. You know when I've become very adept of that is starting small.

We gotta find all the things like dad prepared his will and he lent you know, brother or son some money to solve a problem for him that he got into any never told anybody about that and now he's got something in his will that says that that son gets less so he gets equalized in the inherence in Dan's dad okay Dansk on his will is Artie been probated in mom sit here telling y'all about that or not telling you about it in the sky get all that kind of stuff out and that's what I do in specially when things become a crisis.

That's why it's so important at a younger age to really sit down and talk about these things and some is knowledgeable in that that is a word finishing well let's yes the new show we have here on the Truth Network with Hans Shiley's certified financial planner again. This is brought to you by Cardinal guy.com or you can find phenomenal resources if you go to Cardinal guy.com here's the book, which you know is briskly inexpensive when, how much is announces like well on units on Amazon mean that you go if you get it for a dollar 99 each of them.

The e-book and you can buy the paper book for 799.

Free shipping.

It is our 99 if you got a Kindle and you can go to Cardinal guy.com) and click on that link and next thing you know you've got all this information on all these seven worries that this book is kind of describe granite we been talk about long-term care and we told you that there's a PDF test on this item but tell our listeners what the seven worries arm with LC there at the website with a car to go in the order they happened to you in the book Social Security when you started, how are spousal issues. Medicare how you understand it would educate you on it which you should you do about it now to chart handy or EDF DNase to magic like alphabets and I've been working with it for 40 years and we demystify that long-term care which we been talking about on the show is the third area IRAs we we we talk about IRAs and there's something specific to IRAs that you need to plan, which is now you live off your IRA and retirement and then there's estate planning issues with IRAs and beneficiaries as minimum distributions when you get into your 70s, Sherry perhaps donate money to your church and get a real benefit out of it. If you're over 70 1/2. Next, the subject is going to be investments which would include the IRA, but more of the investment return and how you set up an account risk you're taking. Then we've got estate planning and life insurance and to talk about that assess which are current situation is and then the book is going to get into that and tell some stories that are in there about real clients and then the workbook is going to give you some more facts and figures and that kind of thing isn't quite as interesting and then the last worry is income taxes for the 62+ so we go through those seven things and their confusing in their own right. But all this stuff is interacting with each other like soup manages your social purity affects your long-term care affects your investments affect your IRA so we do financial planning to try to set people right now to finish well and finishing well.

As you can tell from listing today show has so much to do with family. Think about it as you begin your those last years of your life. You know what what happens with your family. You know what happens financially with all the things that you set aside in all those all has to do with what with many counselors plan succeed it out again were resource for you. There you go to Cardinal guy.com you can see all those things and will help you attorney next week as we can have more of this finishing well with Hans child.

Thank you so much that we had a great time to the thank you finishing well is a general discussion and education of the issues facing retirees Cardinal guy.com Cardinal advisors and Hans child CFP some insurance this show does not offer investment products more investment advice and we hope you enjoyed finishing well with you by Cardinal guy.com visit Cardinal guy.com for free downloads of the show previous shows on topics such as Social Security, Medicare and IRAs, long-term care and life insurance, investments and taxes as well as selling the complete guide to planning for and living in retirement and the workbook once again for dozens of free resources past shows get Hans will go to Cardinal guy.com if you have a question, comment or suggestion for future shows. Click on the finishing well radio show on the website and send us a word again that's Cardinal guy.com Cardinal guy.com.

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