The Idol Of Romantic Love - Part 2

Today on Fellowship in the Word pastor Bill Gebhardt challenges you to become a fully functioning follower of Jesus Christ romantic attachment in my life cannot save. You see, I don't have to expect someone else to give me meaning and purpose in my life. Jesus Christ can see that's the whole point. That's why I worship him another even wide in with the lagniappe you love Jesus Christ. Most will love your romantic attachment for joining us today on this additional fellowship in the work of Pastor Bill Gebhardt Fellowship in the Words the radio ministry of Fellowship Bible church located in Metairie, Louisiana going Pastor Bill Gebhardt now is once again he shows us how God's word meets our respect anyone pull a surprise for his book the denial of death, and he explains the various ways that secular people in the American culture of adult loss of belief in God. How you deal with the loss of belief in God. We live for.

He said now that we think that we are here by accident and not made for any purpose. How do we instill a sense of significance in our lives. One of the main ways is what I call apocalyptic romance. We look to sex and romance to give us the transcendence and a sense of meeting. We used to get from faith in God, always exactly right.

You see is exactly right. You see, what happens is if I find that person is going to do something for me.

You see it's got building toward a tremendous amount of immaturity.

But it's also got a tremendous draw to it. Why do you think in high school when you're fighting the hormones and lacking any kind of maturity. Why is the quarterback so cute. Why why why is the head cheerleader see why because of I'm with them. I'm somebody they fulfill the vacuum in my life. You see, that's what happens in this kind of blinded romantic love and that's exactly what happens to Jacob, and I have is the millions of people in a culture in which we live. I mean after all.

Years ago a song was written, you're nobody till somebody loves you really were we get that is unscriptural, you're nobody till somebody loves you.

Many of us grew up this feeling that yearning for that woman romantic love comes into our life. We can make an idol in a heartbeat effect when we find that one person we often believe everything wrong with me is going to be made okay when I find that one person there's a problem no one can live up to that nobody can do that. In fact, inevitably disappointment almost always follows almost always see why we do that evolutionary biologists say that it's hardwired in our brain. That's why we fall in love and really go all life romantic love, but I think there's another reason and I think that reason is we were created for romantic love hold your place and go with me to two passages. The first was in Genesis 1 very easy to find, from Genesis 29 Genesis 1 verse 27 universe God created man and then these words in his own image in the image of God he created him male and female he created them.

Where created in the image of God. What God is like we are like God is spiritual. We have a spirit. You see, God is love. God has an amazing capacity to love subtly you might find that you can find devotion in the animal kingdom, but you won't find that not the way in which we love telling me now to Ephesians chapter 5 Ephesians chapter 5 the apostle Paul. Verse 25. Paul is trying to appeal to the greatest union of romantic love that exist on earth. Husbands want anyone to tell the husband that the husband must love the wife he must be devoted to the wife and so he says. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for so that he might sanctify her, set her apart, having cleansed her by the washing of the water in the word that he might to present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing that you should be holy and blameless.

So husbands also want to love their own wives as their own bodies. He loves his own wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church because we are members of his body and for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave or be joined to his wife and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is great. I'm speaking with reference to Christ and the church. He basically saying to us, you need to love your wife the way Christ loves you.

You need to love each other the way Christ loves the church. We are programmed to love spiritually romantic love is very much part of the way in which we love each other and the love is all-encompassing in Scripture. There are three different Greek words to describe the love between a man or woman. There was agape love at love the Godhead for the world. It's a choice to love you choose to love.

There is this idea of Fullilove is the love of friendship. They become friends and close and companions and there is Eros love that I call the liver quiver.

The idea that you should be attracted to one another. It all goes in the play. It's all part of the same thing. We are to love.

We were created to love one another. There is nothing wrong with romantic love. There is something completely wrong when you try to get out of romantic love when only God can give you. I know some of you might be saying while I'm not I'm not really into that, love it all. I don't really wanting to do that, love. But if that's true, it's probably for two reasons. Most likely one. You had a loving relationship like that and you ended up bitterly disappointed by or two you have a fear that you can be controlled by its power. That's what happened to Jacob. Now back to Genesis 29, we see that the power then of what Jacob was willing to do of romantic love. Now I want to show you the devastation when you make romantic love your idol. Verse 30 so Jacob went into Rachel also and indeed, here is the love Rachel more than Leah a server with Laban for another seven years. He loved Rachel and then that word more more you know, because he made his love, Rachel and I don't is life there are decades of Ms. Ms. Remus family decades. See, Rachel gives him two sons eventually you know them. Joseph Benjamin now to Jacob loved Joseph and Benjamin more than his other sons, yes, they make it clear to everybody. Yes, they spoil Joseph and give him a coat of many colors. Yes, it is other brothers Hatem resenting Fort yes they plot even to kill him and end up putting him into slavery. Why, because Jacob he even love the children of Rachel more than he loved any of his other children.

There's a real problem.

There you see we use a phrase and you probably have used it and we think it's enduring but I'm telling it's not.

He worships the ground she walks as tragic were built to worship just one city were to worship God Almighty worship the Lord Jesus Christ. That's we worship and you sell it so wonderful. He worships the ground I walk on something's wrong. You see, that is not at all what God intended marriage to be. There are all kinds of casualties in this setting, but the one who paid the most for the idolatry of Jacob is Leah. Just imagine what it be like to be her. Just imagine what that be like you have a husband you know he doesn't love you and makes it clear every single day that he loves her sister more so how does Leah compensate. I hate to say this but in the beginning she had it all wrong. She compensated by creating her own idol.

In other words, she said there's a way I can have meaning in life there's a way I can have purpose in life and here's how it goes. Verse 31 now the Lord subtly was unloved and he opened her warm. Rachel was barren and Leah conceived and bore a son and named him Ruben Donald want no motorcycles on her mind, for she said, because the Lord has seen my affliction shortly.

Now my husband will love me as an amazing hike look in this culture, everything is based on the legacy everything is based on the years I can give him the air he will love me then. While it didn't happen no more love came away, how do I know that verse 33, and then she conceived again and bore a son and said, because the Lord is heard it. I am unloved. He was therefore given me a son also and she named him Simeon. She had Ruben and she said after that how that he treated no differently than a lover anymore, but now she has two sons third son she conceived again and bore son. She said now this time my husband will become attached to me because I have bore him three sons and his name was Levi to become attached. Now she thought would work. She thought there is my chance to have meaning and purpose. I can be the one who gives him the legacy and then he will love me. She figures it out. Verse 35 she conceived again and bore son and she said this time I will praise the Lord. No mention of Jacob. This time I will praise the Lord this time I'm not searching for love in all the wrong places you see this time.

I miss going to praise the Lord and his was so interesting about that.

Therefore, she named him Judah and at that time. It says she stopped bearing while she seemed to get it. See, this is such an unusual story in a so tragic on so many levels. When you might be thinking you go through the story. What's the home. I supposed emulator. See who's the example to me who is the person is showing us the way we should live. The answer is no, really. None of because that's not the way the Bible is put together. The Bible is not about what each little story to teach you a good moral lesson. The Bible is about a collective story. One story that reveals the condition of fallen human beings and that man needs to restore his relationship with God and ultimately what man needs a Savior that God provides that the entire message of the entire Bible within what can we really learn from this.

You see, what can we learn from this story. You can learn a lot but I 100 and just a couple ideas is important idea for you to learn from the story no matter what or who you put all your hopes and Rachel eventually you'll wake up in the morning and it's always going to be Leah. That's exactly what's going to happen. You put all of your identity and hopes and you think this is it's all in.

Rachel, you can wake up in the morning when you wake up, it's gonna be Leah is just the way it is. CS Lewis, brilliant Christian philosopher in his classic book mere Christianity says this. Most people if they have really learn to look into their own hearts would know what they want and they want something acutely something that they understand can't be had in this world there are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you but they never quite keep the promise belongings which arise in us when we first fell in love or first think of some foreign country first take up sub subject that excites us our longings, in which no marriage, no travel, no learning can really satisfy his and I am not now. Speaking of what would be an ordinarily called unsuccessful marriage or holiday or learn career I am speaking of the best possible ones. He says there was something we have grasped that in the first moment of longing with just fades away into the reality. I think everyone knows what I mean. The wife may be a good wife and the hotels and scenery may be beautiful and excellent and the chemistry may be a very interesting subject, but something has evaded us. They never quite satisfy our deepest needs. You see, that's what happens if you marry, as Jacob did, and you put all of your deepest hopes the completion of your character in that other person in your deep romantic love and you've set that up in an idol and that is where you really spend your worship, you will be bitterly disappointed because no human being can give your soul what it needs, it just cannot. And then you know what happens. I've seen it over and over again. One this is what happens you blame them. You blame them.

It's her fault, he or she does that only my needs and you blame it's all their fault and and what I need to do is move on to someone else who's going to meet my needs, that idea comes from a culture that I did is not come from God. In first Peter chapter 3, Peter says to wives that if you let God meet your needs. If you let God meet your needs, then God can use you to meet the needs of your husband Peter says even more profoundly, he said, even if they are disobedient to the word, they may be one by your quite and chase behavior.

How can I do that how can I stay here not long enough because I don't need him to meet my needs. You see, that's not it.

I need God to meet my needs. When God meets my needs are now open to meet the needs of the one I'm married to the one I'm in love with also. Then you can blame yourself and then you become sort of self-loathing, despairing, never knew those folks to. It's all my fault. I have no meaning in life. I can never make any woman or any man happy. I'm doing this life that I have that's often the word of God and thirdly in blame the world. It comes also like this. I hate men. I hate women. When sellers tell me that they just categorize maybe 3 1/2 billion people on earth. I am all that's a statement out of pain that's a statement you make the pain and the reason is you expect that something they can never deliver or likely eventually did. You can turn the God to give you what no other person could provide purpose and meaning reason to be alive again. Ernest Becker writes this. The failure of romantic love as a solution to the human problem is so much a part of modern man's frustration.

No human relationship can bear the burden of godhood, however much we may idealize or idolize him or her the love partner, he or she inevitably reflects earthly decay and imperfection.

After all, what is it that we want when we elevate the love partner.

This position we want to be rid of our faults and our feeling of nothingness.

We want to be justified to know our existence has not been in vain. We want redemption and nothing less. Needless to say human partners will never give us that you think of Leah woman with the we guys what the guy give her think this what the guy give her well in her he gave her conception shift for the 12 tribes.

But what about for her who was at 47. What was his name Judah Judah, who see what would Jesus Christ come from what tribe, what tried to Jesus Christ, the son of God. God incarnate, come from Judah. He came from Judah getting come from a joint income Joseph Pinkham and Benjamin became Judah. You see, God loves the on one of the week and the unloved.

He truly does. That's why says I am the husband of the widow and the father to the orphan. In other words, I don't care what your condition is I can meet your needs. You see, you were created so that I could meet her needs and when you seek your needs and me.

You can have them met when you try to get them out of some other person in a romantic love situation you're doomed to fail. You will always be disappointed by the way, when Jesus Christ came to earth didn't come as a son of Leah what you mean by that. Wasn't he somebody that nobody really wanted wasn't he born in a manger in Isaiah 53 say exactly. Let me quote that he had no beauty that we should desire him. In fact, Isaiah described him as a root out of ground is not exactly really a beautiful description. What does that mean it means Jesus was homely just like Leah and in the end, by the way, wasn't he abandoned by almost everyone is truly in his life, a son of Leah, why did he do that for you and me. You see, that's what Jesus Christ did a romantic attachment in my life cannot save me Jesus Christ can you see I don't have the expect someone else to give me meaning and purpose in my life because Jesus Christ can you see that's the whole point. That's why I worship him.

That's why she never worship another human being even one I deeply, deeply love and you know what the lagniappe of it all is when you love Jesus Christ. Most your love, your romantic attachment more. That's the beauty of it.

You see, now you love them in the way that God said you should love not in the way build out of your needs and your wants, but in a way in which you can help fulfill them that you can be a conduit of the blessings of God and of their life. Don't make an idol of romantic love spring father, I fear that there is one consistent thing that happens to us will make an idol of romantic love for so many of us. We don't even know were doing, but always shows up. It always shows up in our disappointment that they are not doing for us all the things that we thought they would do in order to make us feel so good about being ourselves. And somehow then were left empty and somehow father were left disappointed father. I would pray each and every one of us to know Jesus Christ as Savior. Look in your own heart and say if I put these kind of unfair expectations. When the object of my human love have I done that and if I find myself so disappointed because they are not meeting that need. Maybe father what I need to do is to make you the object of my love and allow you to meet the deepest needs of my life and father for anyone who is never put their trust and faith in Jesus Christ. Maybe understand that he loves them with a love that is in measurable and he not only died so that their sins would be forgiven in only died and rose from the dead, so that they one day may have eternal life, but father is Jesus said if they rightly relate to him. He will give them life and give it to them abundantly. A life filled with peace and joy and hope and purpose and meaning. A life of truth.

Father I pray each and every one of us saved and unsaved examiner on ask ourselves the question we look past her broken heart on the radio ministry of fellowship in the world. If you ever miss one of our broadcast or maybe you dislike of the sum of the method one more time. Remember, you can Google a great website called one place.com that's one place.com and you can listen the fellowship and the word online at that website you will find on today's broadcast but also many of our previous audio program at Fellowship in the Word. We are thankful for those who financially support our ministry and make this broadcast possible. We ask all of our listeners to prayerfully consider how you might help with radio ministry continuous broadcast on this radio station by supporting us monthly with just the 100 support for ministry can be sent to Fellowship in the Word.

4600 Clearview Pkwy., Metairie, LA 7006 if you would be interested in hearing today's message in its original format that is is a sermon, the pastor will deliver during a Sunday morning service at fellowship monitored visit our website FVC Nola.org that FVC and LA not know Argie at our website you will find hundreds pastor Bill sermon you can browse through our sermon archives to find sermon series are looking for. You can search by title. Once you find the message you are looking for. You can listen online or if you prefer, you can download the sermon and listen at your own. And remember, you can do all this absolutely free of charge.

Once again our website is FVC Nola.org forecaster Bill Gebhardt and Jason got hard. Thank you for listening to fellowship in order