The Seven Traits Of True Love, Part 1

This is family policy matters program is produced by the North Carolina family policy Council of profamily research and education organization dedicated to strengthening and preserving the family, and often the studio hears John Rushton, president of the North Carolina family policy Council, thank you for joining us for family policy matters: this week we are asked to bring you something a little different. The following is the first of a two-part series featuring a powerful presentation given by Dr. Gary Chapman well-known author of the five love languages book series at the North Carolina family policy Council's major speakers dinner event in Greenville North Carolina on March 9, 2015. Dr. Chapman is a relationship counselor and senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. While he is widely known for his New York Times best-selling book series the five love languages Dr. Gary Chapman is also the author of numerous other books including desperate marriages and hope for the separated. He speaks annually to thousands of couples and marriage conferences across the country and is the host of the nationally syndicated a love language minute as well as the building relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman radio program, both of which air on over 400 stations nationwide in part one of this two-part series. Dr. Chapman discusses the seven traits that characterize true authentic love and how we can live out those traits in our daily lives. We hope you enjoy the program. Now on to Dr. Gary Chapman. I believe that the roots of almost all of our social problems today is a breakdown of family when you look at all the social issues that almost always place them back to fractured the Scripture say they were to speak the truth in love was never forget either one of those for speaking the truth. We must always think the truth we must also do it in love but are not were in the LA and attended a medical conference. There and we were heading back to North Carolina and we were fortunate enough to get bumped up to first class which is always nice right.

The problem was that she was seated seated and window seat and I was seated in a window seat and I was in Rome. She was in road five door acid, probably somebody will change seats with us and we can sit together on a long ride home. So the man came first and set them aside. My daughter and I'll see and she said excuse me. Would you mind extending face with my with met with my father so that we can sit together and demand and look at her. He just said is that I'll say and she said no, sir.

It's a window seat. He said that the large problem of my daughter said while I can understand that maintaining set out to S�o Tom� and I'll see and I said to him excuse me. Would you mind saving sick of my daughter so we could sit together on our RFI home is on an oxidizer when the city is no problem. I love to my daughter all the difference in those two looked to me like a businessman. They were dressed like businessman looked at me in their mid-50s and I thought they got different kindergartens find this gene. One of their parents teach them to be kind of people in the other one said look out for yourself. When the state really prefer a window seat and have a daughter and kept ringing in my mind for weeks after that and I thought you wonders like people, the lovers and others look like your loving person to recognize a loving person if you so journey that lasted for two years in which I asked thousands of people all over the country to question questionable one of the name of a family member or friend whom you consider to be a loving person and if I did the second question was why, why do you say they are a loving person and their ashes fell.

The seven categories. I was hoping for five Allied 57 all of the seven traits of love and wrote a book call love is a way of life.

It was the question what would happen in this country or any country. If a significant number of people became lovers think about bravely is to share with you those seven traits and, incidentally, you'll find all of them in the Bible, which is estimated anything you discover in social research.

If it's really true Scriptures only needed a seven traits and what I want to think about and target in terms of your own life and ask yourself questions as we go through this. If you and Ashley before starting the study are you a loving person.

I think I would've said thanks and tribally, I will.

Sometimes I am. But I discovered when I dug into this. I have a lot of room for growth and there's a good chance that maybe you have some room for growth. Jealous think about together.

Number one is kindness, which was illustrated on the airplane. I describe kindness's actions and words that benefit others. That's essentially what the word means.

Use words and actions that benefit other people misunderstood when your little bow of the first things little children learn in church is to be you kind one to another, you observe about children, the kind that you your kind avail you mess with her heart. You push them in the water line. They go back to normal and I found that adults are not very different.

Most of us can be kind of people there kind of us, but we have little difficulty being kind of people who are not like us know believe what we believe and don't treat us the way we treat them one husband. Suddenly Gary said that I was watching the game on TV and my wife said hi.

Can we talk about and I said to her talk about that precisely games all night.

Now, they said. She walked out of the room is 30 minutes.

40 minutes later she came back in the room and she had a TV tray with a sandwich and a Coke and chips and she said it out in front of me and said I love and she walked out of the room and said I sat there and thought this is not right.

She should not be doing this the way I talk to her and he said everything by that sandwich. This is not good. This is not good. So since my last letter to sign and I went in there honey I'm sorry I'm sorry talk to you hoarsely. I'm sorry I didn't take time to talk with you stoppages and you can finish the game.

He said no games are important timeline is responding to kindness, which he did not deserve. People tend to respond kindly when they recognize that they don't deserve to be treated kindly. Second is patients excepting the imperfections of other people. Patients is allowing your spouse to misplace the car keys every three days and not reaching them a sermon about God is a God of order. I hate to tell you but there are some people who are not. Why keep up with khaki and I don't care how many she put in the garage.

Please hang the keys on they will not okay if you tax to a tennis ball you say they surely will not lose the tennis ball. I'm telling you they will lose the tennis best thing you can do you have a spouse like that is to get you four sets of keys and use these. I'm sure what the others like you, will you find patients allowing people to be human through forgiveness. Loving people will forgive freedom from the grip of anger. All of us are wrong from time to time some Best Buy people we love most. The Bible is very clear.

If someone sins against you.

Jesus said you would give them to confront them. Matthew 17 you confront them, and if I repent, forgive them if I don't repair it says in Matthew 18. You approach them again if everything forgive them. If I go take somebody from church with an approach them again and then if I don't treat them as pagan turn them over to God and you release the anger and you release the hurt and you release the person to God, will have to live with anger. Anger is designed to be a visitor never a resident is a gift of God Almighty social reform has been born of anger and there's some anger in the work that we do as a policy anger motivates people take constructive action, but a lot of our anger grows out of simply the fact we did not get our way certain things are why could not load the dishwasher when we etc., etc. forgiveness of people to distinguish between what I call definitive anger when people do wrong and distorted anger.

When we simply did not get our preference in much of the anger we have is in that category. We even need to forgive people for doing wrong or release people when they don't confess the number four courtesy loving people are courteous people. We typically think of courtesy as those list of things our parents taught us growing up, such as don't sleep when you have we used to have a rule after our house in the early days of our children. We don't sing at the time and one � that my wife why we have them move and she's less, mama said. Obama says the joyful singing that I can say sing a new mouth. What's wrong with singing. So we decided to get away that will courtesy you know and you mama tell me when you come into a room together Only take it off is common courtesy, I was sitting with my mother.

She was 85 and we were in a restaurant.

She said well that he's got his Own Own interest, honey, it's a new day.

It's a new day.

His mama didn't teach him take his hat off when he when he but but most of us think of courtesies being those kind of things, but the Lord is much deeper than that. The word comes from two Greek words one means the mind and the other man's friend courtesies to be friendly mind is to treat people as though they were your friend. Imagine what would happen if we treated everyone we encountered were friend in the car pull into a parking lot and you see any space going forward.

But then you see another caulk around the corner and what we do, but what if you consider the person in the other car to be your friend. What would you have done. Changes are you to let them have the place for you with me courtesy are being courteous to the telemarketers that call you on the phone trying to sell you vinyl siding, brick house.

Wonder if they would ever guess that your wedding be better to say you know I don't need vinyl siding because I got brick house that I'm glad you have a job and hope things go well for you and I got bullish when be a better way to declare July as being cell phone courtesy Scott and then our country with cell phones realize how bad it was.

I was actually counseling Amanda mall one night. His phone rang and he said excuse me and he had a conversation in the middle of our counseling session with somebody else and I thought this this is not right. There's something wrong with this picture and I see couples going out to eat and there sitting there together in one I was talking on the phone. He is looking looking and I see parents who are engaged in a conversation with children and their cell phone rings� Give me an answer their phone and the little child must be thinking there are more important than I hope that's what voicemail is all leave your voicemail courtesy you been listening to part one of a two-part series featuring a presentation given by Dr. Gary Chapman North Carolina family policy Council major speakers dinner event in Greenville North Carolina on March 9, 2015.

We hope you will tune in next week.

The family policy matters for part two of this powerful presentation. If you would like to learn more about the Council's major speakers dinner events, please visit our website@intofamily.org again that insane family who are six family policy matters is information and analysis teacher North Carolina family policy Council join us weekly discussion on policy issues affecting the family you have questions or comments, please contact 91 907-0800 visit our website and sing family.org