The Seven Traits Of True Love, Part 2

This is family policy matter program is produced by the North Carolina family policy Council of profamily research and education organization dedicated to strengthening and preserving the family and elf in the studio. Here's John Rushton, president of the North Carolina family policy Council, thank you for joining us again. Family policy matter this week show was a continuation of the broadcast. We began last featuring Dr. Gary Chapman who was the featured speaker at the North Carolina family policy Council's major speakers dinner event in Greenville North Carolina on March 9, 2015. Dr. Chapman is a relationship counselor and senior associate pastor Ed Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem North Carolina. While he is widely known for his New York Times best-selling book series the five love languages.

Dr. Chapman is also the author of numerous other books including desperate marriages and hope for the separated.

He speaks annually to thousands of couples and marriage conferences across the country and is the host of the nationally syndicated a love language minute as well as the building relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman radio program, both of which air on over 400 stations nationwide in part two of this two-part series. Dr. Chapman continues the discussion of the seven traits that characterize true authentic love and how we can live out those traits in our daily lives. Now on to Dr. Gary Chapman.

This is setting down so others can step up, Jesus is the best example living step into, though he was God did not demand his rights as God stepped down to become a man and once it became a man he stepped down even further.

Today across the Scripture say that this attitude be in you which was also in Christ Jesus were called upon to step down so others can step up, you know we do this rather well for our children.

Most parents are willing to step down for their kids can step were willing to humble ourselves and lift them up, but what about other people. Let someone else assign someone else's daughter. Some of manager business is very sad and strange thing happened in my office. He said I had an opening and I called in a young man who was just two years out of college and I said I got an opening and I think you might be interested in it and is that I want talk with you by some interviewing actually use one other guy and it's all in the name of the other guy and he said under some get the best person for this might be a young college graduate two years out of college. Suddenly hello call the name of the other go and sit with maybe 45, and the elements that I think you should give him the job well because he's he's over younger I'll have other opportunities with him. I don't have another opportunity. I think you give it to him and he said I did over man found out what the young man in the helmet on his arms out of everything you need that young man three or four years later. Later on up the ladder young guy much willing to sit down so somebody has to step up is always better to help others realize that it is to write yourself number six is generosity.

Loving people are generous people will think of generosity only is getting money but that's only part of a loving person will be generous with their time. This time it's also our talents and abilities, you know, those who are super super wealthy when they donate they typically get recognized. Bill Gates formed his charitable foundation. Back in 1994. My initial contribution of $94 million, made the headlines, you probably never read about Albert Lexi. Lexi was to send in Philadelphia and heard about fun for children at the hospital and so he asked the hospital that they could come to their loving two days away and choose if he gave all of his tips hospital fund for children and regulate and do it and over the next two years. I gave $100,000 in hospital don't think that if you don't give generously when you have little that you will give generously when you have much work that way, if you're a loving person. You will be a generous person and whatever level you are in terms of the financial thing you you will be giving the people know. I wonder what would happen.

Most of our churches if people just take 10% to God.

I have a friend I was visiting with him and Michigan and we were raising someone in our church. I was talking to him about it not time to get from him.

You retain my story. I said no thanks. He said well he said not my wife got married, so we both had been Tyler's/singles we get 10% to God's first year in my business. God bless my business is not said about like you to God's blessings this year. He said, would you be okay if we gave 11% this year.

She said well yeah that's fine with me twice in the next year. God bless our business.

I went back to her to know God's been good. What you think. We go up to 12%. She said well you a set of dots that we been doing that every year of our marriage.

I said how long ago been married, they said. He smiled 49 years that Dr. Hughes given away 59%. I really believe you cannot out give God see when we get to the cause of God, we give for eternity. Number seven is honesty, loving people are honest people there people of integrity and will speak the truth.

If I tell you, you can count on you notes. Plaintiffs will tell you what you want to hear your friend will tell you what you need always been grateful for the people who thought enough of me to tell me the truth because when I tell you the truth, then chances are you have a chance to make things different. What I discovered was this that when two major places that fit the world and all the social elites fled the cities to survive. It was the Christians who stayed in the city and reached out to care for everybody that was left, whether they were Christians or non-Christians and they treated everyone as though they were family and he said is his conclusion was that it was not argument that led people to become Christians. It was simply observing Christians loving others.

I really believe that the greatest power for good in the world is love so challenging to continue growing in the grace of life and in the book. I actually give you every chapter give you a pretest take a little test and savor your that develop the idea that I give you challenges and how to build how to cooperate with God in building these things into your life so that you will join me and others of this this book was published by Doubleday and water Brook secular publisher Christian. Only difference is in the Christian version.

I have scriptures in the back for study guides and in the secular version. I just have a question for study reading groups, but my objective is to try to get non-Christians to try to do this� A notably successful before we got married. I was madly in love with my wife and I could hardly wait to be as happy as I was going to be and I never met a girl like this. I never felt like this. I can hardly wait to be happy but after we got married. I had these visions of what was don't be like I was in graduate school and I thought you not go to classes in the morning I come home in the afternoon. I'll study human will have dinner together and then I'll study some more chills that only counts when I study when I get through studying outlive my touch.

We got married. I found them all like to know what she would go downstairs apartment complex may people talk socialized and up there by myself thinking what like before we got only difference on the net door move a lot cheaper.

This this idea before we got married in nine team 30. We were going to go after we got married.

I found that they never post 1930 was about 1030 visitation and read a book thinking you read the book before we got married. I had this idea that every morning when the sun gets gets a but after we got married. I found out my wife warnings we succeeded to be utterly miserable.

It will compound the problem for me is two weeks after we got married. I enrolled in seminary to study the past and here I am miserable in my marriage and think in America wrong person is never going to work and the closer I got to graduation, the more miserable and because I was saying to myself and later the God, there is no way that I can be this visible hall and hope people as I got closer to graduation.

Never forget the night are said to God, I don't know what else to do everything unnoted and is not getting anything it's getting worse, not only will and he says I pray that prayer the kingdom amount of visual image of Jesus only sneeze washing the feet of his disciples remember the story I never got slightly. That is the problem in your marriage.

You do not have the attitude of Christ toward your wife hit me like a ton of bricks because I remember what Jesus said when he stood up your member is set up and say I am your leader in my kingdom. This is the way you lead.

Leaders serve and I knew that was not my latitude in the early years of our marriage or something like this. Look, I know I have a good marriage is illicitly blamed her for that day I got a different message. Lord forgive me. With all my studying Greek and Hebrew, and theology is the whole point and then I said please give me the attitude of Christ for my wife.

In retrospect, the greatest prayer ever prayed regarding my marriage because God our free question for me when I was living the last of these three questions my marriage radically changed simple questions number 100. How can I help you number two to make your life easier.

Question number three. How can I be a better husband to you, you know, when I was in and asked us questions. My wife was long before I knew anything about the leveling but essentially she was teaching me how I can and you know what happened, not overnight, but within three months my wife started asking me this request, we will initially long time and I have an incredible Cinderella that you know Carolyn if everyone in the world like you there never divorce while a man leave a woman who's everything she can to help in my go through these years is Minnesota sure my wife when I'm gone she'll never find another man and you know I believe this was God's intention. God did not ordain marriage to make people miserable Godalming marriage because he knows that he made us for each other when a husband gives himself to his wife like Christ in the church and she reciprocates people become winners is in the early days were both losers. I saw her, she shot me which they wanted most of the time but when you doing God's will become winners if that's not the end. Then you can turn and bless the world with the abilities God is giving you know what I believe one of the reasons the contemporary church does not reach more non-Christians is because our churches are filled with married couples never got together and I find hardly coexist and I have no motivation to cite a non-Christian when you and I will tell you this. If we get our marriages together. The non-Christian will recognize it and they'll ask you that you can tell them how your heart got changed and how you learn to serve each other and getting going in the home and the marriage still over to you kids still over the church in spillover in your work and permeate the whole thing.

Don't challenge and hopefully these words will encourage you to keep on the journey you been listening to part two of a two-part series featuring a presentation given by Dr. Gary Chapman at the North Carolina family policy Council major speakers dinner event in Greenville North Carolina on March 9, 2015. If you like to learn more about the Council's major speakers dinner events, please visit our website@ncfamily.org again that's NC family family policy matters is information and analysis teacher North Carolina family policy Council join us weekly discussion on policy issues affecting the family you have questions or comments, please contact 91 907-0800 visit our website and sing family.org